I have nothing to be updated regarding myself. Shit still hurts every fucking day. However I do want to thank several people who have been there for me continuously. You know who you are and I love you.
Also, I wanted to add something that I already put in Hrau's bio, but I want everyone whom it may concern to see it.
"I know I said that Hraustr would be retiring with Liam, but Liam will absolutely be available for his family and friends whenever; visit him in Erialas or Herda, include him in events, anything. Retiring means they're living together as they already were, but there're times Hraustr wouldn't be present and he'd absolutely always give space if nothing else. So yeah, please feel free to include Liam in your characters lives and events."
That's all.
------
The loss of a partner.
I've never gone through anything harder than that. Yet i don't regret coming out here and spending the last days of Jay with him. He had the most amazing personality and soul, truly. Can't believe I'll never again hear him start singing out of the blue and then laughing about his range when it was off. Can't believe I'll never get to tease him again nor tell him how much i love him. Can't believe a lot of things and it still feels fucking surreal.
I guess we're visiting the mortuary today and we have a possibility to see Jay one last time, and idk what to do. On the other hand I'm aching to see him bc i miss him so incredibly much, but then again he's going to look a lot different than i remember, and i remember how badly i freaked out when i had to see my dad several days ago after his death. Funny, he's been gone for exactly 21 years today on the 13th, and tomorrow is Valentine's day. We had Valentine's day plans with Jay, too, and my whole soul is just crushed. Gotta love February.
Can't thank you guys enough for reaching out- so many have done that, even some surprising ones and it makes me even more emotional to see just how many people care.
I had legit, detailed plans to follow Jay when he'd be gone, started planning when his cancer kept coming back. Didn't tell anyone and just smiled when my therapist told me how much progress I've made during the last hear. Jay in his deathbed and you guys however convinced me to keep going and that's what I'll try to do. It's not fair that he wanted to live so, so badly, had hopes, dreams and goals and then there's me who has never appreciated my life and i gotta change that somehow. Even a day before he died, he wanted us to take selfies and despite the horrible pain he was in, he smiled that wide smile of his that reached his eyes and i fucking can't.. Either way, he wanted me to have his gecko, so I'm going to try my best to be here and take good care of him once we can make that happen. Being here with Poss and Jay's other sister has helped immensely too, i can't even express how grateful i am for that. Definitely wouldn't've made it if I'd had to fly back to finland immediately. Now we're spending time together, looking through photos and Jay's artwork and simply talking and crying together. Didn't know how helpful that could be, since I've always been a recluse and keeping my feelings to myself.
Going to try and get a memorial tattoo here before i fly back home next week, hopefully it'll be possible so i can sort of take Jay with me. I have the perfect design that includes some of Jay's old artwork.
Thanks again for being awesome and supportive <3 I'll be taking a break from tef bc of all the memories that make me miss Jay even more, but i want to come back eventually and play my Stelmaria kid to honor Jay's memory as well as his beautiful, perfect characters. Hraustr will obviously be retiring and living his best life with Liam, there's no way i can bring myself to play him without his partner. But Diana, you'll meet her eventually, she's my special bby who Jay also loved and helped me create.
Hang in there, guys; we all lost someone dear and irreplaceable.
Is that a new page I
Yes~
yes it is
I don't even get why someone
Seems like a waste of money to me.
Damn it, Keyblade.Agreeing with all of the
Also this is a track hurhur
Quote:I don't even get why
Or buy any picto in general regardless of generation.
Key word: Desperation.
Peaceful non-interaction in
/
-Screeches at the new CSS-
Thank you!
tututututuotuotuotuo i love
Love you more
Kidding youre not a birdbrain you adorable thing
super pretty in here ?
Bumping for you. Uugh, I wish
Ahhhh you used the art, I am
Just saw this. I hope things
Be well soon ♥♥
I replied to you on skype a
I hope you're okay.
Honestly, I hate green tea
Also, I think that you are
Guys, thanks for the concern.
Jiaruqa, Thats the most perfect description of green tea I have heard lol.
While my trip in Japan some years ago, I bought green tea in a can since I had never tasted it before. So naturally spat it all out after a 'test nom', right on the street. Rude, perhaps, but man that stuff was icky. Never gonna try it again. Glad to hear its not favored by all others either ha.
And thanks a lot, right back at you!
Damn.. that brought back
I drink green tea often, but
A; Scooby dooby doooo. Nice.
B; For each their own I suppose. Blending it with other teas sounds better, but I dont think Id be able to taste it even like that, ha. Just thinking about green tea makes me shiver involuntarily. But glad you found a way to drink it, heard its healthy?
Very healthy, and very
Hellllo thereeeee :3 Ohh tea
*Snuggles into the
onowl; If youre not a fan,
Sanno; Awh, thank you for the brief company today.
Ey , Happy 4 years
Join Fly....Happy 4 years !!
♥ ♥
♥
(No subject)
Thanks you three.
Because of that bad news you
Wow, thats awesome.. it
I didn't have to ask him
I know how you feel , i am
Especially around this time of the year ...kills me !!
I hope tef can ease this loneliness a bit , as it helps me a little too .
Remember , you are not really alone here !
Maybe we can meet around christmas and have a good time or enjoy watching our beautiful Forest with all those big Candles .
Mipi, I'm not that much of a
Don't drag yourself down too much, ey?
Thank you, Tuo and Kohva!
thinking of you.
Flyleaf; Thank you, and thank
Nipi; Ill try to remember that. I know youre not a kid but you were one when we met and its hard to imagine otherwise. Thanks. ♥
Kaoori; ♥
Bump for reasons.
Ah, can't help you with the
I don't have any characters
Thanks you two. ♥ And
*uusi stalkkeri ilmestyy* x)
Uh oh. -heittää pokepallon-
Kiitos! :'D
~
You and your grandfather are
thinking of you and your
You are in my thoughts too !
Thank you Kaoori, Soliloli
Thinking about you more now
Wish I could do something
Awwww....that's sad to hear
I am so sorry !!