I have nothing to be updated regarding myself. Shit still hurts every fucking day. However I do want to thank several people who have been there for me continuously. You know who you are and I love you.
Also, I wanted to add something that I already put in Hrau's bio, but I want everyone whom it may concern to see it.
"I know I said that Hraustr would be retiring with Liam, but Liam will absolutely be available for his family and friends whenever; visit him in Erialas or Herda, include him in events, anything. Retiring means they're living together as they already were, but there're times Hraustr wouldn't be present and he'd absolutely always give space if nothing else. So yeah, please feel free to include Liam in your characters lives and events."
That's all.
------
The loss of a partner.
I've never gone through anything harder than that. Yet i don't regret coming out here and spending the last days of Jay with him. He had the most amazing personality and soul, truly. Can't believe I'll never again hear him start singing out of the blue and then laughing about his range when it was off. Can't believe I'll never get to tease him again nor tell him how much i love him. Can't believe a lot of things and it still feels fucking surreal.
I guess we're visiting the mortuary today and we have a possibility to see Jay one last time, and idk what to do. On the other hand I'm aching to see him bc i miss him so incredibly much, but then again he's going to look a lot different than i remember, and i remember how badly i freaked out when i had to see my dad several days ago after his death. Funny, he's been gone for exactly 21 years today on the 13th, and tomorrow is Valentine's day. We had Valentine's day plans with Jay, too, and my whole soul is just crushed. Gotta love February.
Can't thank you guys enough for reaching out- so many have done that, even some surprising ones and it makes me even more emotional to see just how many people care.
I had legit, detailed plans to follow Jay when he'd be gone, started planning when his cancer kept coming back. Didn't tell anyone and just smiled when my therapist told me how much progress I've made during the last hear. Jay in his deathbed and you guys however convinced me to keep going and that's what I'll try to do. It's not fair that he wanted to live so, so badly, had hopes, dreams and goals and then there's me who has never appreciated my life and i gotta change that somehow. Even a day before he died, he wanted us to take selfies and despite the horrible pain he was in, he smiled that wide smile of his that reached his eyes and i fucking can't.. Either way, he wanted me to have his gecko, so I'm going to try my best to be here and take good care of him once we can make that happen. Being here with Poss and Jay's other sister has helped immensely too, i can't even express how grateful i am for that. Definitely wouldn't've made it if I'd had to fly back to finland immediately. Now we're spending time together, looking through photos and Jay's artwork and simply talking and crying together. Didn't know how helpful that could be, since I've always been a recluse and keeping my feelings to myself.
Going to try and get a memorial tattoo here before i fly back home next week, hopefully it'll be possible so i can sort of take Jay with me. I have the perfect design that includes some of Jay's old artwork.
Thanks again for being awesome and supportive <3 I'll be taking a break from tef bc of all the memories that make me miss Jay even more, but i want to come back eventually and play my Stelmaria kid to honor Jay's memory as well as his beautiful, perfect characters. Hraustr will obviously be retiring and living his best life with Liam, there's no way i can bring myself to play him without his partner. But Diana, you'll meet her eventually, she's my special bby who Jay also loved and helped me create.
Hang in there, guys; we all lost someone dear and irreplaceable.
Yeahhh 3 years all around.
PAGE ♥
Cheers to your anniversarry.
Haha, oh god, I still remember all the things I wrote for my very first character here. Makes me cringe so badly. Wish I could have started all over, it's that embarrassing. But, you learn, and you grow. (:
Thank you all! ;u; Mrjn;
Mrjn; It's a relief to know I'm not the only one with an embarrassing history, haha! ♥
Huhu sorry for posting here
You better add me you n00b
TOOT
ploop ploop
boop
I should just ignore you all.
Littlepooper; added ♥
::runs hands all over
neverrrrrr
I'd slap you but I'm not at
B'/
^Definitely thought of this
^Definitely thought of this part of the movie when you posted that Mjrn.
*rollsawaywishingitwasagif*
-loud snorting-
You all have your own damn
nope
/rolls with B) sorry to bump
sorry to bump but can I just say that is so sweet. ♥
Nawrh, just a simple thing to
-ignores Hanhan- ehue
TUUOO YYYYY I just want
I just want senpai to notice me >;
Ha, Tuo, I can’t tell you how
Anyways I know I haven’t been around as much lately either and I can very much understand how you’re feeling here too. Taking a step back from this place sounds healthy to me.
Take care, will see you
Best wishes, and take care!
Don't blame you at all. I
Really gonna miss you, Tuo
I'll miss seeing you around
Stay strong
*builds cozy nest*
Just putting a track stamp
Tracking~ Hope things lighten
And I love that cat's hair in the first box. 8|
I toldja Tuo draws hair nice.
Thank you, Tuo and Kohva!
Sucks to hear about the
Thanks guysss. I feel like my
uhhh
Unplugged; -steals all the eggs-
don't you dare touching her
and hello, don't mind me here.
and feel better soon.
and thank you for keeping our company.
too.
*angry hummingbird squeaks*
-fries eggs on
Halfbaket, I'm sorry about yesterday, really. Thank you for the company as well. ♥
Sorry bout the tough time at
lampoo. I hope things will be better soon. ;; /hugsmotherin ♥Tracking. c: Good luck with
Good luck with your new job. Let me just share this: I know exactly how the foot pain goes. I've worked on solid concrete in the past, which hurt my feet to the point where I couldn't walk, even if I was still working my shift. It will get a little better the more you get used to moving for long hours, but if at all possible, you need to invest in a good pair of shoes with plenty of arch support. I would get a pair of slip-in sole pads for extra comfort, too. It's really important if you want to avoid ruining your feet. If it's this painful for you on the first day, it really isn't going to get much better without the proper footwear. ;;
///sitstalk
A track, because how could I
Evern; Thanks. Somehow things
Fin; Aaaa thanks for the input! I know shoes are very important in a job that requires lots of moving and standing with brief breaks or no breaks at all. I had the best pair of shoes and the other fucking broke this week. ;; I can still wear it though, thank lord. Once I have a larger amount of money, I will buy a new pair (with pads). ♥
Xixi; Thank you!
Tit; I DON'T KNOW, HOW COULD YOU? Hnnnnnnnh, ilu so much beib ♥ ♥ Get your ass online! -violates tenderly-
Heeiii, ihana persoona blogi
Spänks!
Amen to that
mhm
Preach it.
Absolutely.
(No subject)
Yes thank you, couldn't agree
As soon as I posted my
Not to mention the extreme rudeness that came after Michaels posts. I'm glad I didn't go through with it. I never would have been able to live with myself. Ever. It's disgusting.
Don't worry about it, Soli. I
Thanks for the agreement, others.
/murrs in agreement