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15th of September, 2020


I have nothing to be updated regarding myself. Shit still hurts every fucking day. However I do want to thank several people who have been there for me continuously. You know who you are and I love you.
Also, I wanted to add something that I already put in Hrau's bio, but I want everyone whom it may concern to see it.

"I know I said that Hraustr would be retiring with Liam, but Liam will absolutely be available for his family and friends whenever; visit him in Erialas or Herda, include him in events, anything. Retiring means they're living together as they already were, but there're times Hraustr wouldn't be present and he'd absolutely always give space if nothing else. So yeah, please feel free to include Liam in your characters lives and events."

That's all.

------

The loss of a partner.
I've never gone through anything harder than that. Yet i don't regret coming out here and spending the last days of Jay with him. He had the most amazing personality and soul, truly. Can't believe I'll never again hear him start singing out of the blue and then laughing about his range when it was off. Can't believe I'll never get to tease him again nor tell him how much i love him. Can't believe a lot of things and it still feels fucking surreal.
I guess we're visiting the mortuary today and we have a possibility to see Jay one last time, and idk what to do. On the other hand I'm aching to see him bc i miss him so incredibly much, but then again he's going to look a lot different than i remember, and i remember how badly i freaked out when i had to see my dad several days ago after his death. Funny, he's been gone for exactly 21 years today on the 13th, and tomorrow is Valentine's day. We had Valentine's day plans with Jay, too, and my whole soul is just crushed. Gotta love February.

Can't thank you guys enough for reaching out- so many have done that, even some surprising ones and it makes me even more emotional to see just how many people care.
I had legit, detailed plans to follow Jay when he'd be gone, started planning when his cancer kept coming back. Didn't tell anyone and just smiled when my therapist told me how much progress I've made during the last hear. Jay in his deathbed and you guys however convinced me to keep going and that's what I'll try to do. It's not fair that he wanted to live so, so badly, had hopes, dreams and goals and then there's me who has never appreciated my life and i gotta change that somehow. Even a day before he died, he wanted us to take selfies and despite the horrible pain he was in, he smiled that wide smile of his that reached his eyes and i fucking can't.. Either way, he wanted me to have his gecko, so I'm going to try my best to be here and take good care of him once we can make that happen. Being here with Poss and Jay's other sister has helped immensely too, i can't even express how grateful i am for that. Definitely wouldn't've made it if I'd had to fly back to finland immediately. Now we're spending time together, looking through photos and Jay's artwork and simply talking and crying together. Didn't know how helpful that could be, since I've always been a recluse and keeping my feelings to myself.

Going to try and get a memorial tattoo here before i fly back home next week, hopefully it'll be possible so i can sort of take Jay with me. I have the perfect design that includes some of Jay's old artwork.

Thanks again for being awesome and supportive <3 I'll be taking a break from tef bc of all the memories that make me miss Jay even more, but i want to come back eventually and play my Stelmaria kid to honor Jay's memory as well as his beautiful, perfect characters. Hraustr will obviously be retiring and living his best life with Liam, there's no way i can bring myself to play him without his partner. But Diana, you'll meet her eventually, she's my special bby who Jay also loved and helped me create.

Hang in there, guys; we all lost someone dear and irreplaceable.




INFO

Contains hidden hovers
Name; Tuo (Jake)
Nationality; Finnish
Age; 9th April
Personality; ISFJ
Plant Personality; ECHINACEA A protector. With an amazing blend of optimism, nurturing and goodwill, you lend your strength and energy to those in need. Your seemingly infinite goodwill and boundless supportive energy make you the one people turn to when times are tough. Your greatest strength is, of course, also one of your weaknesses, especially if you neglect to take care of yourself. At times like these, it’s a good idea to take a step back and focus some of that protective energy on yourself. - FENNEL You’re quiet, sometimes shy, with a tendency to be reserved. You have a humble, kind nature and often find yourself taking care of others. You can be known to hold things in, and you don’t always speak up for yourself. This tendency to hold things in can lead to disturbances. - NETTLE Truly a nurturing and supportive friend, you’re the kind of person that just isn’t for everyone. But those who take the time are rewarded with your gentle disposition, and the kind of friendship that does a person good no matter the difficulty they’re facing. When out of balance, you can become more prickly than supportive or nurturing, though—a sign that you need to shower yourself with the same kind of nurturing you so freely give to others.
Zodiac; Aries, metal horse
Leo Leo Ascendant has a strong constitution. They are very concerned with their appearance and how they behave in public. They like to dress in a youthful manner, and their bearing is strong with a sense of authority. They can pull all this off because they are just big kids at heart. This Ascendant is warm, generous and fun to be around.

Leo Ascendant is usually of sunny disposition, although they usually speak their mind. They can be extremely stubborn, and it can be challenging for them to break bad habits or behaviors. Their innate tenacity is one of their greatest assets, though. Even when everyone else is tired out and ready to give up, Leo Ascendant is still ready to inspire everyone to keep up the good work.
Ascendant
Libra Individuals with the moon in Libra turn out to be excellent planners and strategists due to their eye for detail. Intellectual stimulation is a must for them in any relationship. They value their home and family and are very affectionate. They are attracted towards the arts and possess a great aesthetic sense.

They prefer to see the silver lining on any cloud, give people the benefit of the doubt and see life as an endless stream of opportunities for joy. Compliments are a natural part of their speech. They dish them out daily and truly mean them. They relish human interaction and value it, so they try to let people know this by treating them kindly and fairly. Of course, they aren't perfect, and their one pet peeve is this whole issue of fairness. Perhaps because Libra moons put so much effort into treating others well, they are more offended than most when the effort isn't reciprocated. Often, you will see a Libra moon astonished by the rude behavior of someone who they just treated so kindly. In sports or work, they are super conscious of issues of fair play.
Moon
Taurus Taurus Midheaven doesn't like change. This goes for both the physical world and the mental one. Ideas can stick with them no matter what until they are finally convinced they should let it go. This can work with an unsatisfactory career, too. They may spend years in a dead-end job, but they fear the change, even if it may be better.

They love to develop their skills and help others; what better way to do this than when they are the boss? Once they find their niche, they are content to sail through the rest of life.
Midheaven
Mercury in Taurus People tend to listen to Taurus Mercury. They are taken seriously. They are funny and a bit sarcastic. They do not use flowery speech; instead they come across as authoritative and realistic.

Mercury in Taurus likes to learn through demonstrations, basic concepts and concrete answers. They like practical applications for what they learn. They can learn in the abstract, but the lessons are much more powerful if they can use the information personally.

They are very sensual, and have well-defined tastes. Everything they can experience through the senses: color, scent, touch? all affect their communication style. They are shrewd in business and excel at finances.

Mercury in Taurus can come across as obstinate and opinionated. They have an incredible memory. Whatever they set their efforts to needs to produce tangible results.

Venus in Pisces The person with Venus in Pisces is changeable, and can appear completely different to different people. They have the knack of picking up on the emotions of others, and they can adapt to fit the needs of those around them.

Pisces Venus has the ability to understand people and to forgive them, no matter what. It is hard for them to define boundaries around themselves. They tend to be taken advantage of because of their sense of hospitality and empathy. They often feel alone or disappointed unless they get a very clear, definitive demonstration of love and affection. They are afraid of getting hurt, and may hesitate to express their own feelings.

In friendship, they will go out of their way for a friend or anyone in need. They are thoughtful listeners who can empathize with any situation.

Pisces Venus loves unconditionally. They don't care about status; they just care about what is inside.

Mars in Aquarius Mars in Aquarius is a bit difficult to figure out. And they like it that way because they like to surprise others. They find conventional methods boring and look for new, innovational ways to accomplish their goals. They are original and unique.

Aquarius Mars is proud of their own independence. They wouldn't have it any other way. They can stand up for themselves quite well. While open-minded and progressive, they can be surprisingly stubborn. If they know you've found a pattern in their behavior, they are sure to change it.

Mars' intense energy will often combine with Aquarius' benevolent humanitarianism in an extremely positive way when it comes to charitable causes, and the needs of others. This placement frequently indicates a willingness to work tirelessly for a good cause. For those born with this placement in their charts, a general concern for their friends, humanity and social causes touches everything that they do.

Jupiter in Cancer Jupiter in Cancer has a gift at making people feel cared for. They can create a homelike environment anywhere. Whatever they turn their hand to grows or turns out well. They really know how to make the most of what they have. They have a talent for sensing the emotional currents around them and sensing when others feel vulnerable.

They are ambitious, and are led by their intuition and emotions. They are excellent at healing and caregiving. They can be very artistic, whether that is with traditional arts or with food or business. They have an excellent memory, especially for family and history. Security is very important to them.

Saturn in Capricorn Capricorn is the natural home of Saturn, and as such all of the core traits of Saturn are inherent here. Career and finance will usually be the focus of this placement -- frequently to the detriment of all else. This placement is highly desirous of power and will often go to great lengths to achieve it.

This position is not likely to be conducive to teamwork or cooperation.

Saturn in Capricorn is ambitious and hungry for power. They are focused on their career. A great organizer and planner, they easily assume responsibility and can be relied upon to take care of business. They may find it difficult to delegate, so may end up doing all the work themselves. It is hard for them to believe that others can produce results that are up to their tough standards.

Uranus in Capricorn Capricorn Uranus can be restless or impulsive. They may act before they think it through. They can be stubborn, eccentric and radical. They are good at balancing ambition, independence and their intellectual abilities. They are not afraid of challenges. They are tolerant of differences in people, and they have no problem treating them all equally. They are even tempered.

Capricorn Uranus is responsible and is capable of handling power with ease. They are good people to hold a job needing the trust of the public. They have the talent to see the coming trends long in advance. They are not afraid to change procedures in order to achieve their goals. They are logical and have a great mind. They may be excellent politicians or business leaders. They will be capable of accomplishing great things for mankind and may make great material progress.

Neptune in Capricorn Capricorn Neptune is serious and likes to think things over. They have the ability to concentrate on anything that happens, so they can solve any problems that occur. Detail work is something they usually excel at. On the other hand, they may tend towards melancholy, secrets and deceit. When they get this way, they want to shut themselves away from the world.
Eros in Pisces
Descendant in Libra
Lilith in Scorpio

Likes;
Reading, traveling, cats, animals in general, statues
Photographing, NSFW, working, nature, scents
Baking, cooking, tea, coffee
Tattoos, piercings, body modification
Different cultures, languages
Trying out different recipes
Listening

Virtues;
Forgiving
Listening to anyone's problems and keeping them private
Empathetic
Non-judgmental

Vices;
Bossy as fuuudge, I'm sorry
Overprotective
The Worst Humor™
The dad friend - you'll go to sleep when I tell you to
All the vices



Discord - Tuo#3714

I can also be contacted through my Email, , but I don't check it too often, so better leave a message to this blog before emailing and tell you wanted to reach me.

Enbis, OOC
Morgül - BIO - Tumblr - Spotify
Kalma/ Francesco d'Este - BIO - Tumblr - Spotify
Dario d'Este - Spotify
Hraustr Vargsson - Bio - Tumblr - Spotify
Ilías Adonai - Bio - Tumblr - Spotify
Lohtu - Bio - Spotify

Other personal links;
Tumblr
"funny" Tumblr
Toyhou.se
Pinterest
Instagram
deviantART


All of the Tumblr blogs above can contain mature content, such as macabre, violent, sexual and otherwise mentally disturbing.





CSS made by Evern (with help from Unplugged ♥) explicitly for Tuo- not to be used elsewhere. Art made by Kate Hallen

Acurna's picture

What kind of cinnamon

What kind of cinnamon bun?
This is my page :0
Tuo's picture

Evern; I started baking cakes

Evern; I started baking cakes alone when I was, idk, 10 y.o. and have loved it since and I guess thats what sparkled the enthusiasm for baking. You go make a cake too, Im sure all of the current residents at your vacay spot would love a little sweet treat, hehe.

Mjrn; Yes agreed. One day I hope to own a big kitchen where I can cook without a hassle.
Im quite the opposite though, I dont care to have an audience or someone else with me when I cook or bake, but I can see your reasoning. I got that from my mom, she hates when others watch what she does so I had to learn on my own and also turned up as one to snap at anyone bothering what I do, lol.
Gonna visit my own mom for one whole weekend next month so we are probably going to cook together (she lets me watch and do things now) and I have a feeling its gonna turn out as a shouting competition between me and her (in a good spirit). Ill post something about that if I remember.

Acurna; They were finnish cinnamon rolls called korvapuusti or kanelipulla. No frosting, very easy to make even for a beginner. I prefer to make mine with regular flour instead of the gluten free ones because of the, well, gluten. I dont care about gluten free baking, even if regular baking means I cant either eat anything I make or suffer from fevers etc.
Anyway, congrats for the page, yes its all yours now.

Mjrn's picture

It's weird because there's a

It's weird because there's a part of me that would love to learn and cook really amazing things, but at the same time, I just don't feel like going through all the work to get it. I'm so lazy it's hella bad. )':

Even if I don't ask to help or anything, she'll have me come into her kitchen and help. Only thing she won't let me do is wash the dishes lmao. She sprayed me in the face once with the water spout when I refused to leave the sink and was trying to do the dishes. So yeah, total opposites there between you and I there. Though if I'm doing anything else, like playing a game or something, I get irritated as hell.

Awww that's awesome! LOL my mom and I have those kind of shouting matches too; it feels good getting to yell at each other, but not because we're angry. It's kind of like a release valve to ease off any pressure that builds up, I think.

On the subject of gluten free, we used to have a gluten free bakery right across the street from my place. They apparently were pretty popular down south and even shipped out their food across the country. They went out of business though after only a few months; it's a quiet stretch of the road, and most people I know who went there said their sweets tasted terrible.

I take it you have a reaction to gluten? That really sucks if so. ):
Account previously Mjrn, returned to Veedeer.
Tuo's picture

Awh, I know how that is like.

Awh, I know how that is like. Not in this matter, but others. Cooking has always seemed natural to me and theres nothing I cant do after trying. Except pancakes. Hrrr.

Haha, I could see that situation in my mind as I read, your mom seems chill. A fun person to be with and do stuff.
I can get irritated even when not doing anything and someone bothers my vision of sight or even -gasps- talks to me. Usually I manage to response in a civil manner though out of not wanting to hurt anyones feelings.

Yeah, I think so too. Theres no anger in our tones even if the used words are horrible. We are both very sarcastic and fire signs, its a clash of titans whenever we meet.

I think I have eaten one gluten free pastry that actually tasted good during a year and six months. Everything else has been horrible, sweets, bread, everything. I have a celiac disease according to doctors, but the biopsies they took were "unclear", so Im not even sure if thats what it is, since I dont always get symptoms. Might be just a high sensitivity towards wheat, rye or barley. I kept away from those for a long time but decided that I cant go on without proper bread (and baking without gluten).

ratt's picture

T-tuo would you be interested

T-tuo would you be interested in an old desktop? It's not super, but it has served me well and I only bought new one just so my games would run flawlessly. Comes with every part but memory.
Evern's picture

The nail varnish thing.. i

The nail varnish thing.. i feel you..
100% real life picture of me

Tuo's picture

Hahah, yeah I think its a

Hahah, yeah I think its a widely spread disease.

Kaoori's picture

I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry.
Foodog's picture

Such a majestic floof. So

Such a majestic floof.
So sorry for your loss.

I'm so sorry hun...she was

I'm so sorry hun...she was such a gorgeous kitty. ): <3
Tuo's picture

Thank you. Yeah he was

Thank you. Yeah he was majestic and the floof was impressive. Planning to draw him as a gift for his owners once Im able to look at his photos without tearing up.

Happy anniversary, you old

Happy anniversary, you old fart. <3

Happy 6 years anniversary!

Happy 6 years anniversary! <3

Evern's picture

Happy six &hearts; Wouldn't

Happy six ♥ Wouldn't be the same without you

Glad you're doing better.

Glad you're doing better. <3 And happy birthday to your adorable kitty too. <3
Paleray's picture

It's a good news &hearts;

It's a good news
Tuo's picture

lunaa; Kitty yells thank you.

lunaa; Kitty yells thank you. <3
Luu; Yes, very!

The best feeling when you

The best feeling when you upgrade computers.
Just did so to my old gaming desktop yesterday.

Retracking. 'Grats on the new

Retracking. 'Grats on the new computer. <3
Tuo's picture

Foo; Damn right it is. Luna;

Foo; Damn right it is.
Luna; Thank you!

Fincayra's picture

k i'm a little

k i'm a little jealous...
congrats tho! must be super nice to've gotten rid of that lag
Kaoori's picture

GOD I HATE STUFF LIKE THAT

GOD I HATE STUFF LIKE THAT can totally sympathize.

honks back

honks back

If only people could be sober

If only people could be sober and enjoy things.
Tuo's picture

I know right.. Good luck

I know right.. Good luck finding the drunks then at 4am when the happening is done and can finally get home. :f

(No subject)

<3
Evern's picture

Important bump.

Important bump.

Best wishes for your cat!

Best wishes for your cat! ♥
-
Good to hear he is alright! ;v;
Jiaruqa's picture

Aww, glad that this lovely

Aww, glad that this lovely kitty is okay <3
Kaoori's picture

I’m glad to hear your kitty

I’m glad to hear your kitty is doing well. ♥
Jayternator's picture

Been keeping you and your cat

Been keeping you and your cat in my thoughts. ♥ Glad to hear the good news!
Echosong's picture

So glad he's ok :'}

So glad he's ok :'}
Tuo's picture

Thank you all. &hearts; I'm

Thank you all. ♥ I'm still feeling super relieved and drowning him with love every minute we're awake haha, glad he loves attention.

WonderfullySarcastic's picture

Your bebe boy is so handsome!

Your bebe boy is so handsome! Even when drugged-blepping. Beautiful face that doesn't hurt no more!
#1354
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Tuo's picture

WS; totally missed your

WS; totally missed your comment but thank you! I agree, he is the most handsome<3

Vala 's picture

Happy 7 ...!

Happy 7 ...!
" ~ Lady in Red ~ "

♥ ♥

Flyleaf's picture

Happy 7th Tef Birthday

Happy 7th Tef Birthday Smiling
Avatar @ Sluggs Siggy @ Amazegenalo
Bouncing Fly by Mary13

Happy 7th year!

Happy 7th year! <3

Happy anniversary.

Happy anniversary. <3
WonderfullySarcastic's picture

jfc old fart. Hap

jfc old fart. Hap Anniversary!
#1354
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Evern's picture

Hold onto that feeling, it's

Hold onto that feeling, it's so important! <3

Tuo's picture

It really is! And I will

It really is! And I will ♥

Hi, happy late birthday I

Hi, happy late birthday I hope you had a good one. Smiling
Tuo's picture

Aaa thank you! &hearts; It

Aaa thank you! ♥ It was a rather fantastic day. :}

HolyMaria's picture

super glad you're feeling

super glad you're feeling good ♥
Tuo's picture

Thank you!

Thank you!

WonderfullySarcastic's picture

oh man... no.. I empathize so

oh man... no.. I empathize so hard for you. Like. So much so. I'm taking care of my dad's cat who is his absolute baby, and she's got some sort of kidney thing going on, too.

Please take care. And my best wishes for your baby kitty
#1354
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Jayternator's picture

Damn.. I am so sorry to hear

Damn.. I am so sorry to hear your cat is ill again... My thoughts and best wishes are with you both. ♥

also, hope it isn't inappropriate to ask this now, but would it be alright if I added you on discord someday? ;_; I've known you for quite a while now, but at the same time I don't think I've actually gotten to know you, and I'd like to change that... You're a very kind person from what I've seen. ♥
Kaoori's picture

Hey Tuo, if you ever want to

Hey Tuo, if you ever want to talk, I'm here. My kitty has CKD too. It's not easy at all, but it's not necessarily an immediate death sentence.
I know we're in different countries and I don't know how things are done.. but honestly, like I said, I don't ever mind talking at all. My kitty is my world too, and I can't imagine life without her. Days are so hard thinking about it.
Tuo's picture

WS; Thank you, we're hanging

WS; Thank you, we're hanging in here.. So sorry to hear about your dad's cat as well. ;; It's so unfair that the bebes we love so much have to go through shit like this.

Jay; Please do! Anyone who wants to is free to add me whenever! And likewise, have known you but not really talked to much, hhh. Thanks social anxiety. But yeah please do add me!

Kimi; I'm so sorry to hear that. ;; It's constantly in my thoughts too but for now, my cat is eating and drinking well, and one of my old class mates has a cat with this disease as well and she gave me advices and recommended a special kibble that I already ordered etc. I'm scared to have my hopes up (since i always end up disappointed when i do) but still don't want to lose all hope. oTL doctor said to wait these three months before more tests to see if the disease has progressed, but i was like, feck that, i'm not waiting for the condition to get worse? and ordered the kibble that was recommended by the friend. |:
it's creating so much anxiety anyway that i myself have p much stopped eating since the diagnose.