I have nothing to be updated regarding myself. Shit still hurts every fucking day. However I do want to thank several people who have been there for me continuously. You know who you are and I love you.
Also, I wanted to add something that I already put in Hrau's bio, but I want everyone whom it may concern to see it.
"I know I said that Hraustr would be retiring with Liam, but Liam will absolutely be available for his family and friends whenever; visit him in Erialas or Herda, include him in events, anything. Retiring means they're living together as they already were, but there're times Hraustr wouldn't be present and he'd absolutely always give space if nothing else. So yeah, please feel free to include Liam in your characters lives and events."
That's all.
------
The loss of a partner.
I've never gone through anything harder than that. Yet i don't regret coming out here and spending the last days of Jay with him. He had the most amazing personality and soul, truly. Can't believe I'll never again hear him start singing out of the blue and then laughing about his range when it was off. Can't believe I'll never get to tease him again nor tell him how much i love him. Can't believe a lot of things and it still feels fucking surreal.
I guess we're visiting the mortuary today and we have a possibility to see Jay one last time, and idk what to do. On the other hand I'm aching to see him bc i miss him so incredibly much, but then again he's going to look a lot different than i remember, and i remember how badly i freaked out when i had to see my dad several days ago after his death. Funny, he's been gone for exactly 21 years today on the 13th, and tomorrow is Valentine's day. We had Valentine's day plans with Jay, too, and my whole soul is just crushed. Gotta love February.
Can't thank you guys enough for reaching out- so many have done that, even some surprising ones and it makes me even more emotional to see just how many people care.
I had legit, detailed plans to follow Jay when he'd be gone, started planning when his cancer kept coming back. Didn't tell anyone and just smiled when my therapist told me how much progress I've made during the last hear. Jay in his deathbed and you guys however convinced me to keep going and that's what I'll try to do. It's not fair that he wanted to live so, so badly, had hopes, dreams and goals and then there's me who has never appreciated my life and i gotta change that somehow. Even a day before he died, he wanted us to take selfies and despite the horrible pain he was in, he smiled that wide smile of his that reached his eyes and i fucking can't.. Either way, he wanted me to have his gecko, so I'm going to try my best to be here and take good care of him once we can make that happen. Being here with Poss and Jay's other sister has helped immensely too, i can't even express how grateful i am for that. Definitely wouldn't've made it if I'd had to fly back to finland immediately. Now we're spending time together, looking through photos and Jay's artwork and simply talking and crying together. Didn't know how helpful that could be, since I've always been a recluse and keeping my feelings to myself.
Going to try and get a memorial tattoo here before i fly back home next week, hopefully it'll be possible so i can sort of take Jay with me. I have the perfect design that includes some of Jay's old artwork.
Thanks again for being awesome and supportive <3 I'll be taking a break from tef bc of all the memories that make me miss Jay even more, but i want to come back eventually and play my Stelmaria kid to honor Jay's memory as well as his beautiful, perfect characters. Hraustr will obviously be retiring and living his best life with Liam, there's no way i can bring myself to play him without his partner. But Diana, you'll meet her eventually, she's my special bby who Jay also loved and helped me create.
Hang in there, guys; we all lost someone dear and irreplaceable.
Thank you for reposting, now
Stalkiiing
Also settles my tushie in
Jacklo's Characters/Hub
Discord: Daddy#4977
curls up here
SNEEZES LOUDLY
Profile picture by ahimsa ♥
Pixel Wis by squeegie~
Hola.
Track.
Yo. B]
What a beautiful cat
You are really lucky to meet tef members for real!
Bl mjourr.
Thank you, Tuo and Kohva!
;__; i want to meet Tuo
Bwahahah we are just lucky to
And it's our third time harassing HB |D
third time! ;__; is Finland
Thank you for the tracks
It's a good thing to live in a small country and be able to see friends from the internet. ♥
*slithers in* ♥
Thank you ♥ /LATE
I thought you always wanted
♥ ♥
♥
Track. Kalma just needs
He needs all the love. Not
Have you changed skype? If
don't mind me. I'm here for
Rofl, what kind of music
/nests
I hope you have a good
ahh idunno... i really like
Aaah, saw that band playing
x
x
x
Also, not finnish but still a damned good song x
Oh man, I've listened through
Thanks for the songs. All of these are really great.
May I ask which album? That
Technodiktator and
Aaaah the newest ones.
You have an awesome music taste, you know that? haha!
From the U.S.C.H! album
(8 Bonjour
*sneaks in*
Uugh, sucks to hear you're
You're in my thoughts, Tuoho.
Thank you lovelies. ;; Your
Aww, that's good! ;u; Also,
Also, cute cat.~ Though its (not sure if female or male) expression looks very evil! XDD
Thank you! He's my own lovely
See for yourself ... |D
Oh my god. I love those
He also looks super soft; I wanna pet him.~
Your cat is amazing, haha. Is
-butthurt when Tuoho doesn't
Also yes Ossi is a purebred siamese :3
Sorry sorry. |D A blue point
A blue point siamese he is. And very soft indeed. ♥
Happy 3 years, buddy! I hope
(No subject)
Happy 3 years and many more
HAPPY THREE YEARS TUO
Thank you, Tuo and Kohva!
Thank you allll! I enjoy this
happy three years!! ♥
Happy three ....
♥ ♥
♥
Happy three years Tuo! Glad
Happy Three!