To everyone who read the topic I wrote a while ago, I'm sorry you had to read that. I guess sometimes I feel like the world is coming down on me, but I know that things will get better and that I have a wonderful community that listens and supports their friends. I need to stop worrying so much, and I need to be happier, no matter what.

I think it will start with hugging Brandy at least once every day.



Thanks, Her, for suggesting this. It really calmed me down and I realized how much Brandy loves me, and how excited she gets when I come home. I guess we really were made for each other.

I also forget sometimes that Quad is always there for me. I think I've been neglecting him for Impressive Title and Guild Wars, so I've been getting him back in the Forest. I think he really deserves it.

And if I could, I'd hug him too. I love him so much and I'm so sorry that I abandoned him.



Thanks everyone, I'm glad that I have friends like you. If you ever need to talk to someone, or if you just need to vent, please don't hesitate to talk to me.

Jen, I'm sorry about your comment. You don't have to tell me what you said if you don't feel like it, I'm not in the same mind-set as I was yesterday. I deleted the topic after talking on iScribble. Please don't worry about that topic, it was stupid and I'm okay now.

I've chosen a song for myself right now, because I can relate to it so well. It's called Thrift Store Suitcase by a local band, Hamelin.

[i]I woke up this morning, wanted to throw myself away.
Tried to sell my soul but it turns out that it just ain't worth much these days.
The sun cut through the curtains and awoke me from asleep.

I think I fixed it........maybe, I'm still watching for the "Blue Screen of Death", I have to give it a few minutes just to be sure........................

BUT, there is no annoying Rapid Antivirus icon on my toolbar, and no rude and disturbing files are popping up on my desktop, and annoying fake waring messages are appearing in my face..........I may just have this bug problem solved. Let's see...........................*waits a few minutes*
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AHAH! YOU STUPID LITTLE VIRUS! CATO JUST BEAT YOUR ASS DOWN!
No one messes with Cato and her computer, especially if her former army technician brother has anything to say about it C:<

It's gone now, I can relax and use my computer freely again. Yay I can get into the forest this weekend XD

Now just to worry about the other stuff >>;

And don't mind how I keep typing my titles, I was just bored and wanted to play around with the keyboard ^-^;

Your head.



I ated it.

Your turn: your top five songs, clothing items and quotes.

lol as usual found on LJ. I guess this is my...current top five because things change fast. :B

Songs
i. Footloose by Kenny Loggins because YES I KNOW IT'S OLD but it's got a great beat.
ii. Sounds of Madness by Shinedown because I said so.
iii. Tell Her About It by Billy Joel because of the same reasons as Footloose.
iv. Only Time by Enya because it's really heartwarming. :3
v. High School Never Ends by Bolwing for Soup because it sounds hilarious to me.

Clothing Items
uno ~ JACKETS. I dunno if it's the weather or what but jackets are so important right now to me. Doesn't matter what kind so long as it's not junk - furry hoodies and just plain old pullover sweatshirts are the norm.
dos ~ Jeans plz. Tightlegs are nice. <:
tres ~ Hats. End of story.
cuatro ~ That spelling is according to Halogen, so don't blame me. Uhm. Sweatpants? lol idk but they're so comfyyyy.
sinco ~ Shoes. Usually it's flipflops or none, but in the winter months skate shoes are a must. :B

Quotes
un: "Let's put a smile on that face." Duh lol.
deux: "You know, some people confuse my sense of humor with cruelty."
trois: lol I ran out.

IF YOU WANT TO DOTHIS then go ahead maybe I'll finish later.

1. First operation: None
2. First piercing: None
3. First bestfriend: Boy named Sam
4. First award: None
5. First sport: Softball
6. First pet: Kaiser Sosay
7. First vacation: Flordia (pleh)
8. First kiss: None
9. First love: None

Right Now.
10. Eating: Nothing
11. Drinking: Nothing
12. I'm going to: The squaredance... No really--
13. I'm listening to: Down to Earth
14. Wainting for: Life
15. Wearing: Clothes?

My Future.
16. Do you want kids: Maybe
17. Do you want to get married: No
18. What do you want to be: A sucessful Author
19. Do you want to study after High School: Yes
20. If you won a million: No saying what I'd do.

Diverse.
21. Do you like wearing socks: Yeah
22. Which song describes you: Nothing that involves love.
3. What is your favorite music genre: Celtic
24. What was your favorite thing to watch on TV when you was kid: Little Bear
25. What kind of mobile do you have: None
26. Do you have orthodontics (if it's that's the word): othadontist? No?
27. What place is the last place you ate at: Dining room
28. What's your favorite movie: LOTR
29. Lips or eyes: Eyes
30. Hugs or kisses: Both
31. Taller or lower: Taller

Have you ever..?
32. Kissed a stranger: No
33.Lied to get attention: No
44. Been in a musical/show: No
35. Been in a chat room: Yeah
36. Broke someone's heart: Think so.
37. Liked a friend more than another friend: Yeah...
Do you belive on..?
38. Yourself: Yes
39. Miracles: Yes
40. Ghosts: No
41. Santa: No
42. Sex on first date: No
43. Angels: YES

I love doing surveys

Snatched from this entry

1. First operation: I had oral surgery before I got braces
2. First piercing: None yet, might not get any.
3. First bestfriend: Chris H. from middle school
4. First award: I got a service award in middle school band, but I know I've had some before that.
5. First sport: Basketball
6. First pet: A cat named Socks
7. First vacation: One I remember was Mt. Cheaha in northern Alabama.
8. First kiss: Someone I had a crush on in middle school
9. First love: Basically the same as above, but it wasn't true love.

Right Now.
10. Eating: Sweet tarts
11. Drinking: RC Cola
12. I'm going to: go to work in 2 hours :<
13. I'm listening to: songs stuck in my head
14. Wainting for: Thanksgiving (and Christmas and my Birthday too)
15. Wearing: T-shirt, khaki pants, and tennis shoes.

My Future.
16. Do you want kids: Not really sure
17. Do you want to get married: Maybe
18. What do you want to be: A geologist
19. Do you want to study after High School: Already there
20. If you won a million: Probably give some to my family, use a little for myself, and donate the rest.

Diverse.
21. Do you like wearing socks: Of course
22. Which song describes you: "Thrift Store Suitcase" by Hamelin
3. What is your favorite music genre: Punk Rock but I like everything.
24. What was your favorite thing to watch on TV when you was kid: Lots of stuff but I'll pick something so Beast Wars
25. What kind of mobile do you have: If you mean cell phone, then a Samsung Glyde
26. Do you have orthodontics (if it's that's the word): Used to
27. What place is the last place you ate at: O'Charlies
28. What's your favorite movie: I like a lot of them. Starship Troopers is one of my all-time favorites.

What do you like the best..?
29. Lips or eyes: eyes
30. Hugs or kisses: hugs
31. Taller or lower: lower

Have you ever..?

?????? I AM VERY CONFUSED. YOU WANTED TO TELL ME SOMETHING. AND I HAVEN'T HERD A THING. WHATS UP? opps sorry caps lock

Okay! Forgive me if I don't reply for a while sometimes, I'm unfortunately very busy nowadays x.x
Here are the violets and their colors:



I might be lazy sometimes and not put their names each time they speak so bear with me and refer to the above x3; (hmm... Fuschia and Magenta are similar... -.-)

Anyhow! Here I go.

Magenta: Lady, Lady Taint, are you there?
Cobalt: *quietly* If you don't mind...
Indigo: ... Might we speak?
Slate: *gloomily* She might not answer, you know...

...I thought this was one of my better poems :/ But only one comment...;-;

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The silver dewdrops stream
Across the bottom of my laken eyes
As every passing wind is a nightmare
And the chills fell the teardrops;;
Sullen and heavy is my heart
With the softness of a dying angel
Lying atop it in an ache of sadness
For all is gone and I am guilty
In the aging war, depression

With a beat and a flutter
Doth the dewy drip-drop ascend to the heavens
Carried eternally and disallowed
To even query at a raindrop's destiny
Trapped forever in a grin, ne'r a rainbow
Only the pained, rippling reflection in a frozen pond
With mind and soul crippled by blissful
And a kiss full of anger and snaps of twigs
Where at the lightest tap doth she fall into the depths
Of the rueful rage and the anger caged
Until she rises up again to follies
She is I, forever I

Rage, beating down upon the innocents
And those who tried to put out the flame
Whose wick is oil and flame is spontane'us
And fangs will draw the bloods;;
I feast upon the flesh of my own
For I cannot let the rage escape but in small gasps
For I shall claw and rip and growl
In a hushed anger that is hushed to hide
The burning, the anger, seeping inside
Forever more, and ever more

Sinking forever into nothingness
I cannot describe, I cannot word
Within this, I am trapped
Forgotten and floating forever within
This emptiness, nei'er sad nor holding
The brightest joys;; no, simply empty
The gone, the nothingness of life
It feels as though I've floated away
For an eternity or more
I stand here and stand

[i]A little bit cocky with a sly, creepy grin
Doth the happiness invade and begins to peruse
And so she does, in creativity
Where dewblood drips from fingertip pricks
Until the sudden fatal blow and she falls down
Down in a spiral into the depression of unknown origins
Within a minute or less, she hath completed

Oh for the love of all that is sane in this world, why does life torture me so?!

Everything has just decided to screw with me in any way possible. I have held on strong for almost a year now, after the major meltdown that I had last year, I resolved that I would do everything to stop it from happening again. But as of late, I can see it happening again soon. I came so close to it tonight.

I've had a horrible day. I don't know where I went wrong, but I know that someone threw I monkey wrench into the system somewhere.

1. I arrive late for the bus and thus lose my seat to the most obnoxious freshmen you could ever meet.
2. In photo class, my negatives turn out wrong about 5 times no matter what I do. It is a lot more frustrating and heartbreaking than it sounds, especially after how hard I worked.
3. I have to get 4 complete pieces of quality artwork done before the first of December, which is really time consuming and stressful. This doesn't count the other 2 art classes I have.
4. My mom nags and berates me the entire way home about stuff that isn't important whatsoever.