I did some Googling, and found the laser surgery is more of a last resort after all other treatments are exhausted since there's risks with it.

Sorry, I know I overreacted, but when she said that I just felt like the biggest piece of crap.

And the reason why is because that was the car my Dad picked out. He and Mom went to the dealer and ended up getting this nice car, kind of randomly. It's a nice car, one of the few things of luxury we really have, and I don't want Mom to give it up because of me.

Right now, I just want to be in Pittsburgh so I can get a job and get something started of a life. And if we do this now, it will scrap those plans and who knows how much longer I'll be stuck in this house wasting our money and time. She's afraid that I will go up to Pittsburgh and get a job, and then won't be able to drive to my job due to this eye thing.

I don't know...I just wish all this drama would stop.

Epic! =D

Congrats Quad! That's great news! I really wish the best for you!

As an aside, would you be able to email me your home address? I found a book the other day that I think you might appreciate, and I wanted to send it along to you. My email is .

Thanks Quad! And good luck! ^^

That's great Quad! I'm glad it went so well! Here's to hoping that you get a call soon to know for sure! ^^

I looked up the Terracon office in Mobile...

It's right down the street from me!

FFffff...it's so close!

It's not what I had in mind, I really was planning on moving, but...if they want me at that office, I wouldn't have to move out of home, at least not right off.

Hey if you read the speech I had posted here before I removed it, I apologize. Please disregard what I said. I needed to write down my thoughts as a way to vent, but in the process I posted something that was really too graphic for this site. I've removed what it was so I apologize for doing this, as writing down what I wanted to say made me realize that I really should stop being angry about the subject.

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On another note, I'm wondering if there's a term or a word for someone who wants to live their life without it revolving around money. It kind of makes me think of the aspiration things on the Sims series...

Anyway, I've come to the point where my goal in life is not to collect a lot of stuff or to be rich, but to experience the world around me. I'm not saying I'm going to boycott the dollar since of course it will cost money to do what I'd like to do, but I really do plan to make my life less about material possessions or wealth and make it more about experiences.

Don't worry Quad. My situation is SO similar to yours that it's kinda creepy. Even though I'm not looking for a job, I'm just waiting to get out of the house, or at least just live with my mother. Even though I'm still in this house, I know that eventually, I will get out. It will be years, but I will get out of the house someday.

I'm sure that it won't take you as long as me to get out of the house. When it seems as though you can't escape, remember that eventually you'll get a good job, and you will leave the house someday.

Welp...everything's changed again.

Mom talked to my aunt in Pittsburgh, who wants me to be up there right now to look for mining jobs. So apparently I'm going up there tomorrow. I'll stop in Georgia and stay with my brother for a night, but then I'll be heading up through Virginia, West Virginia, and Pennsylvania for the first time in my life.

This was kind of sudden, but it's funny because I kind of thought something was going to happen today, and here it is. I told Mom that we don't really have the money to do this and she said the money doesn't matter. Probably means I'll owe her more money once I get a job.

Gotta get all my packing done today. I'm just kind of surprised that all this has happened this quickly.


Also I will mention this may or may not affect the Holly on the Old Oak series this year. That all depends on if I have the time to write the stories or not. I will do my best to get them written but they may end up being late this time. I just gotta see how much downtime I get.

----------------------------------------------------

Today just got crazier. I got a response from one of the places I applied to the other day.

"Chris,

I received your resume in the mail a few days ago. I just wanted to email you and let you know I had received it. Generally, we begin the application and interview process during the semester you are scheduled to graduate. The reason for this is that it is difficult to predict which jobs will be open this time in 6 months and which ones will be filled. I see on your resume that you are scheduled to graduate in May of 2013. If you will please email me back at this address at the beginning of next semester, that would create a better avenue to begin the application process. If I can do anything for you between now and then, please let me know. Have a great day.

Mississippi Department of Environmental Quality"

I responded and mentioned that I am actually available for current job openings they had and mentioned the 3-month job thing. Of course this has to pop up the day before I'm about to leave for Pittsburgh, so...

I'm waiting to hear back from them, hopefully I get a response soon so I can make a decision. I'm either going to Pittsburgh or I'm going to Mississippi depending on what this person says.

Eessssshhhhh....my head is spinning

Guys holy crap! I took the dog outside just a moment ago, and when I looked in the distance I saw a silhouette of a doe! She stopped for about a minute, standing there in the glow of an orange light behind her, just watching Bear (the dog) and me before she walked off into the darkness of the woods. A moment later I saw two more follow her, I think it could have been another doe and a younger deer, but they moved too quickly to tell. I swear, that was a magical moment, as I did not expect to see them when I took Bear out. We put some food out for them, so I keep checking to see if they are out there closer to the house.

There's a really awesome bramble tree in my aunt's back yard that has grown into something like a teepee, and just a moment ago I went to it and sat inside for a while. I did a meditation and it was just wonderful. Quad even came and sat with me, I imagined him walking into the bramble and plopping down by my side. I'll take some pictures of it soon for you guys, it makes me think of the Old Oak as it has a big opening in the front and a small hole in the back.

Today has been crazy as far as my job search goes. I put in two online applications, sent out 11 resumes through the mail all over Pennsylvania, and...the best one...got an appointment with the Pennsylvania State Civil Service Commission to take an examination for an Environmental Trainee job! That'll be November 30th at 8:30 AM in Pittsburgh.

Whew...I feel absolutely accomplished right now.

Had an awesome time with my aunt at the Carnegie Science Museum! I was the first person today to tour the USS Requin (it was snowing this morning so that was why), really enjoyed seeing the fish in the aquarium swim through pipes between fish tanks, tried to beat a robot at air hockey, got sent on a crazy virtual rollercoaster called "Asteroid", and went to a planetarium show about the Biblical Christmas Star. Got a couple of souvenirs too - a boomerang and a Folkmanis puppet of a river otter that looked exactly like Iugulare. This was sent to my e-mail by C-3PO and R2-D2, hanging out with them, Gort, Hal 9000, and Aibo.

Job update -

I still haven't gotten a job yet up here, but I applied for a job as a towboat deckhand for CONSOL Energy. I'd be working in Pittsburgh transporting coal and other supplies down the river. The job description is here, and honestly it sounds like a lot of fun!

On top of that, the job was posted on November 5th, so it's a recent posting. It will most likely not count toward my 3-month thing, but it'll get my foot in the door with CONSOL, so if I do this for a while I may be able to get a promotion to an environmental job.

I'll be working 7-14 days on the boat at a time, but the good thing is that I don't have any family commitments (aside from just calling my mom every day), and I think I can handle it.

Wish me luck guys.

Good to hear this news about your job hunt.

My gradfather used to do this job, he was a captain of one of these boats.

XD I'm glad it got to you safely. I literally took 30 minutes to decide what to send you, there were so many good options. And the bookmark is one of 15 that I am giving to my family and friends this Christmas, each one had a different cervine on the front

Thanks for letting me know you got it!

-DASHES IN-



HAPPY CHANUKAHHHHHH -PRANCES OUT-

I had a dream last night where I went to my old middle school to do something, like I had to drop off something for my Mom, and for whatever reason I was riding a bike there and didn't want to leave the bike outside because I didn't have anything to lock it up with and I was afraid someone would take it.

I knocked on the door to the big building where meetings, socials, ect are held. My Dad opened the door and let me in. In the dream, he was the custodian of the place. He said it was okay to leave the bike inside the building while I was doing whatever I needed to for Mom.

In the dream, I didn't try to remind myself that Dad is dead. In the dream, I didn't try to remember that he worked for the Post Office and not my school. It was as if he was alive and happy working, and as if everything was fine.





I miss my Dad.


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Night #3 for breaking the ice. My cousin gave us icebreakers mints for our gift

Well I had just about as crappy of a night as anyone could have. We picked up some of my aunt's relatives that I've never met from the airport, and they'll be here for about a week. Of course this means we played musical bedrooms, and long story short I'm sleeping on the couch in the den downstairs. This is also where the computer is located at.

Well everyone decided to turn in at 9:00 PM or so, but I had to wait since my cousin was downstairs chatting with his girlfriend. My uncle went down and told him that he had 30 minutes before he had to be off the computer.

50 minutes passed, and then my cousin walked up the stairs and said, "Hey Chris, you don't really care about sleeping right?". I told him that I have to sleep eventually and that we were getting up at 8 in the morning. He asked for 20 more minutes on the computer, and since I was watching a football game I told him that was alright.

So the 20 minutes passed and he was good and said "I'm done", and went to his room.

I head downstairs at 10:10 PM and try to get to sleep.

At 11:30 PM I hear footsteps coming down the stairs, and then typing on the keyboard. He snuck back onto the computer to chat with his girlfriend. Annoyed by this, I got up and went upstairs to sit on the top couch.

About 10 minutes later he came back up and asked me what my problem was. I asked, "Are you done?", and he responded with a flurry of insults and threats. He was talking for about 30 minutes, and here's a list of things I remember him saying:

- Don't ever say that again or I'll put you in the ground
- You're pissing me off
- You went up those stairs like a gay homosexual. Admit it, you're gay. I know, Aunt Les knows, Uncle Dan knows, even your Dad knows. Just admit that you're gay.
- This is my team right here ((pointing toward the bedroom with his parents)), and they love me and support me, and you're not part of my all star team.
- You're on the wrong side because you like men.
- You're reminding me of my brother, how I would say something and it goes in one ear and out the other.
- You're Mom is a bitch to all of us.
- You're a burden on my family and we don't want you here.
- Just admit that you're gay. It's okay, I mean I hate people like that. I really do. And you're going to have to answer to God and explain some things.
- Look I love you but you pissed me off right now
- You'll never be happy because you want to sleep with men
- I miss my brother more than you miss your Dad
- You just need to move on
- You need to grow up
- What do you have to say for yourself?


I kept quiet while he said most of this, because he doesn't know when to stop and he repeated most of these several times. I did try to say that I'm asexual and he gave this puzzled look as if things are black and white as far as sexuality. In any event, I already know this whole thing was due to his drinking as he always gets like this, and he drinks 2 or more oversized cans of beer at a time.


In any event, when he finally left me alone, I went downstairs, took all my stuff, put it in the laundry room, went in and locked the door. The laundry room has a toilet in there so that is why I could lock the door. During the course of the night I could hear my cousin arguing with my aunt.

So I just woke up from sleeping on the floor in the laundry room. It's 6:30 AM and I'm not sure what all will happen today.

Something obviously is going on in your cousin's mind.

Just ignore him. I'm not sure if he'll eventually grow up or not but he'll probably be like this for a while so it's best to ignore him. Just remember that he's a human too.

I don't think you have anything to worry about, Quad. I honestly cannot imagine God being angry at you for celebrating other holidays. He'd be happy that you're so accepting and not judging others, and that's one of the most important lessons he taught.

Your cousin could learn a lot from you.

Just popping in to say that you don't need to be Jewish to celebrate Chanukah, nor does celebrating it distance you from whatever religion you follow. It's all about the celebration and general festivity. It may be a jewish holiday but families are always encouraged to share the holiday with those around them AND IF SOMEONE WANTS TO PARTICIPATE IN IT JUST FOR THE HECK OF IT that's always welcomed! It's about giving and being thankful for life's blessings, nothing really heavy or anything c:

I'd try not to worry about your cousin, he seems to be a very troubled person and is handling his issues like a giant jerk. It may be hard, but try not to take any of his insults and various vile comments to heart. You shouldn't have to change yourself to suit the needs of someone so hateful.

Mrhhh...you guys may or may not know that I have been on a RP chatroom lately as Quad and a few other characters, and have been having to deal with a stalker that thinks we're in a relationship. I was finally able to get her to leave me alone, but now I have another person, this time a guy, who won't leave me alone.

Every time I log on as Quad he will immediately private message me demanding me to RP with them that second. And if I'm doing something else at the same time, he gets angry with me because I'm not 'dedicating myself to him' and that sort of thing. It's only because he happens to like one thing I do and he can't seem to find anyone else willing to RP with that interest.

What I didn't like was that I mentioned Nekumbra and he said I would have to change her to suit his needs. As in he didn't like that she was a caring predator and that I would have to make her vicious and absolutely anti-pleasant.

It's gotten to the point where I don't really want to be on the chat anymore due to this person constantly bugging me to devote myself to them. I enjoy roleplaying with a lot of people and don't like being one person's slave. I consider this person an acquaintance, and they're treating me like we're in a relationship. And I don't know how to tell them to back off.

I told him I'd probably not be on much anymore due to my job search and he begged me to give him my e-mail address or a messenger. I logged out without telling it to him because I flat out don't want him to be bugging me nonstop.

-_-''' it's frustrating when I can't enjoy the chat anymore because of one person.

Today was pretty awesome.

It started with my GPS taking me into Ohio, first time ever going to the state so I can scratch it off my bucket list. I saw bison grazing on a farm and passed by...get this...a Fire Mountain! Dun dun duuuunn!!

Anyway, I went back into Pennsylvania and met with Mr. Parrott. We went to a local pizza place and got a pizza, and then took it up to a well site where we shared it with the mud engineer on the site. He was real cool and explained how to get in the business as a mud engineer, and he gave me some contacts too. Then I spoke to a mud logger who gave me a contact on how to become a mud logger. And when we got back to Mr. Parrott's company, I got a stack of places to apply to for geophysics, environmental firms, drilling companies, ect.

So I got home safely despite the heavy rain, and will have a lot of homework to do. But all in all today was awesome, I was real glad to get to meet Mr. Parrott