Names [..?]

Alecsander's picture
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[O]



I have had, as time has passed, many a name.
I came to the forest without a name, bestowed one upon myself, and went forth to face the new world.
And yet the closer I got and the more I explored in silence I learned that my name was not enough.
I needed another name.
I needed a name to hide behind.
I learned that many of the forest hid behind many names.
So I took another name.


Under this name I brought words to the forest.
No listed stats for me, I thought out my identity.
I shared my solitude, my courage, and my will.
I brought forth the story and it was promptly discarded.
A fleeting glance.
Isn't that nice? I like your name. I like your looks.
And then..gone.

So I found another name.
I desired to tell about my forest experiences.
I shared my innocence, my naive nature, and my enthusiasm.
I learned my experiences differed from others.
They were with friends, frolicking and dancing.
I was met by the cold shoulder, shoving and pushing.
And the pressure began to build.

So I found another name.
I wanted to be the underdog.
So I shared my stubbornness, my mischievousness, and my attitude.
What a little clown.
What a cute little deer.
This funny mini....
No.
That was not me.
The pounding started to occur.


So I found another name.
I wanted to see what the forest could teach me.
So I made a new soul.
No reference, no background, just wonderment.
An enthusiastic student who desired a teacher.
I shared my kind soul, my aversion to violence, and my honesty.
They shared the identity of the group.
They shared that they did not company.
They shared that they thought I looked stupid.
That I looked cliche.
And then they took the name I had, and used it as their own.
And it made them popular.
The pressure, and the pounding began to take hold.

So I sought a way to make it stop.
I brought forth a name I rarely took.
He lazed around the forest.
I shared my patience, my wisdom, and my insecurities.
They decided to share the outfit I chose for him.
And the pressure.
And the pounding.
Drove me to seek release.


I raised the object to my temple, and I pulled the figurative trigger.
And what came forth, when all was said and done, could not be taken by them.
It could not be ignored by them.
There was no other, who could take this name.

I shared cynicism, my madness, my stone face, and my cold tone.
I reflected, I recounted, and I let loose all that would come forth from my wound.
I laughed, and danced, and broke free of those bonds that dictated that I must have a name.
I would not hide behind any longer.
My words are my words.
I will not pretend otherwise.

My actions, are my actions.
And I shall stand by them.

I shall enter the forest to do as I please, and should you slow down to match my speed I might share with you that which I have shared before.

I freely give away my two cents, my intelligence, my advice, and my common sense.
But the important parts of myself I reserve for those who deserve it.

My tears, my insecurities, my fears and my bleeding heart are reserved to a select few.

But you...yes.
You care nothing about those things.
You want only my name.

So I will play your little game, and I will take another name.
I will not use it as a mask, I will not hide behind those petty letters.

I suppose you may call me.....


Sasha

Alecsander's picture

Bumping this up so no one

Bumping this up so no one gets lost when the name changes next story.

you know.. i read most of

you know.. i read most of your writings but i never know what to say eccept an pathetic "wonderfull!" or *"amazing!" or "i adore your skills..."
pathetic bacause repeating them all the time would make them sound as if they weren't honest >.<

but however: this is amazing, your wiritngs are always so wonderful... i adore your skills... really ,o, and be sure i read your writings as often aspossible but i don't comment .. becaues... yeha...


*sneaks out