Leaving [..?]
March 11, 2010 - 7:05am — Alecsander
Go ahead.
Go sit by them.
Maybe they'll turn an eye on you and you'll become the apple of their eye.
You'll get what you crave.
Love.
Attention.
Affection.
Attention soon became a disease to him.
It was not the fact of, but the lack of that infected them.
He saw it multiple times since he first opened his eyes to the forest.
Yes, he was blind to it at first. Much like he treated it now in those old days he was alone.
He knew nothing of a civilization or community.
That was an after-thought then and now.
No saving face for him.
No bleeding hearts nor sympathetic ears.
Pathetic.
It was present there though.
Starving with their hungry looks.
Me next me next! Won't you play with me?
Won't you look at me?
Won't you comment on my new outfit?
Love me hate me abuse me.
Attention Attention attention.
It was sickening.
The height of the madness always being those words. "I'm leaving..."
It was always a lie.
No fed up person left such a childish little note.
It was driven by the plague.
They whored themselves out for the attention and when it would not come they threatened.
"I'm leaving this place. I'll leave. No one cares. No one ever plays with me or looks at me" or whatever the hell else scheme they concocted to get that sweet drug.
Oh but it fed them didn't it?
The pat on the back, the tug on the heart, the sudden fake affection that drives them to 'change their mind'.
Change.
Feh. There was no change. They got their little fifteen minutes of fame and were back again to the same old dance. No attention next week.
Heh.
Bleeding heart.
Bleeding head.
Maybe he should bleed the heart also.
Help or hinder his madness, did it really matter?
He grasped one of the shallow stones by the playground and cut into his chest.
A heart on a heart.
How fitting.
Who could dare claim to love him more than he did?
Now he just had proof of it.
This makes me shiver.
To a degree.