Serene [Updates] Remembrance

Phaios's picture
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Feel free to interact*Both text and visual roleplay are welcome. If you have been given my Skype/Discord address, you are welcome to interact there as well. with Phaios and Endriaga here.
Warnings and Disclaimers


I decided I really didn't like the back-end of that journal code :I So here we are



Note: Endriaga can generally be assumed to be resting with Phaios or hanging around in a tree nearby [but likely will not be logged in]. Not a deer as she was before, but instead a miniature dragon.


12-18-2022

Physical
Denotes physical fitness - wounds, illness, etc.
: Healthy. [100/100]
Mental
Mental health determines the stability of emotional health, rationality and decision-making skills, and emotional recovery time.
: Well [90/100]
Emotional
Emotional health is an indication of the state of self-perceived well-being. It is not necessarily bound by "happy" and "unhappy."
: Content [90/100]
Demeanor
Current behavior and posture/body language.
: Quiet, thoughtful

How many years has it been?


Has spent the last few months with little in the way of drama. Content to be bored most of the time, although she does at times feel quite lonely. As such, she has been happily reconnecting with Illrose and Carmine when she comes across them. In particular, surprised and incredibly grateful when first Illrose and then Carmine sought her out in the deep fog of October and stayed with her for a number of days until it passed; the mist bound her senses uncomfortably and left her on edge and feeling blind, but having a steady presence greatly eased that stress.

A little more melancholy now that the snow has arrived, often lost in thought. Not really a fan of the cold. Spending a little more time around Eraline's grave when she's on her own.


Previous Entries

Kaoori's picture

love this girl.

love this girl. <3
Phaios's picture

Kao

Kao <3

I am thoroughly amused by this crowd, rofl.

Edit: PS, I sent you an MSN request the other day. Not sure if it went through, 'cause it did something weird.
Kaoori's picture

I didn't get it at all..

I didn't get it at all.. what's your name? Maybe I should send it to you. MSN has been acting really weird for me, I've had to reinstall it twice now. :/
Phaios's picture

Ahmg, Kaoori, you spoil me

Ahmg, Kaoori, you spoil me jfdkslfjlsd ;-; She's perfect (those eyes, the face!)
Glad I finally managed to get things up and running today or I would've missed it~ I wish my scanner was working after I had to reformat my computer. All of my Christmas things are stuck in my sketchbook until I can fix everything >.<
Kaoori's picture

so glad you like her.

so glad you like her. ♥
Kaoori's picture

The little doe noticed her

The little doe noticed her company coming quietly and she stood to greet her, asking her to sit nearby. She was tired; she'd been wandering and found herself more tired than usual. Of course she'd stopped to visit Hoshiko; it was routine. Finding Phaois was a nice surprise.
But her friend looked out of sorts herself. There was a glaze in her eyes, of pain, of loss. One Kaoori knew all too well. Gently she nuzzled her companion as she groomed her softly, her voice a quiet whisper.

"I have heard of your loss. I am sorry. Please don't feel like you need to smile around me. I understand."
Phaios's picture

Phai tilts her head slightly

Phai tilts her head slightly as Kaoori speaks, studying the tiny blue doe beside her with one eye. She'd been pleased to stumble upon a friend she hadn't seen in a while; it seemed the two were always just missing each other, these days. Despite Kaoori's suggestion, Phaios allows herself a small smile.
"I have lost many, Little Mother. To dwell upon them all is to live forever in tears." Her gaze drifts towards the littlest gravestone. "We can't forget - nor should we - but we can't let the world pass us by, either."
A brief pause.
"Your belly is round again."
Kaoori's picture

Kaoori would never forget

Kaoori would never forget Hoshiko, no matter how the years went by.
She smiled slowly at Phaios' last statement.
"Mm.. my family seems to want to keep growing.. twins, this time."

Briefly, she gazed down at her own side.
Phaios's picture

Her brow lifts in surprise.

Her brow lifts in surprise. Turning her head fully to take in the deer beside her, she inquires, "Twins? Isn't that uncommon for deer?" She'd never seen such a thing, but almost as soon as she's said it she finds herself reconsidering; in a world of giant bunnies, was anything really that unusual? The thought amuses her for a moment, as it often does.
Kaoori's picture

"Not in all deer. And not in

"Not in all deer. And not in this forest, certainly. If I still lived out of this forest, it would be very uncommon. For both my mate and I. I only hope.. all goes well."

Tiwns were born all the time here. And giant bunnies.
Phaios's picture

"I suppose I haven't seen

"I suppose I haven't seen enough fawns born here, then. ...I didn't know you'd lived outside," she muses quietly. The brown and gray doe touches the tip of her snout to the top of Kaoori's head with a warm puff of air from her nose. "Don't fret. I'm sure you'll do fine."
Kaoori's picture

"I was left here, by my birth

"I was left here, by my birth parents, when I was young. I think of this as my home, however. No other place."

The little doe yawned. Despite her protests to herself, Phaios was always kind, comforting company and Kaoori always felt relaxed in her presence. She'd been so tired today, and it was so hard not to nod off- not because Phaios was boring, but because Kaoori felt so content.
Phaios's picture

Phai blinks. Somehow it was

Phai blinks. Somehow it was still odd to her to find creatures that had been... born. "I suppose you could say my Mother brought me here... But she created me in a place far away." Oh no. Yawns are contageous, Kaoori! Phai clamps her jaws shut, fighting the urge to spread them wide, herself.
"It's very different here... But not in a bad way."
Kaoori's picture

Kaoori didn't feel the need

Kaoori didn't feel the need to question, because as Phaios had said before, there were many strange things in this forest. Not everyone had been born here. It didn't surprise her the least that Phaios may not have been. She rested her head against the larger doe.
"I like it here.. most of the time... it's where I belong..."

Unintentionally she drifted off, peacefully asleep against Phaios' side.
Phaios's picture

Phai gives a quiet "Mm," in

Phai gives a quiet "Mm," in reply. 'I like it here.' Now there's something to ponder... Memories of home seemed dimmer compared to this forest. As often as she found herself homesick, it was hard to deny that this was becoming 'home,' too.
Lost in thought, it takes her a little while to notice Kaoori's nodded off. Finding her little companion conked out, the doe lays her own head on the grass with a distant smile. Ah well... She could be content as a pillow for a while. Even sleeping company was better than the hole she'd walked around with the past few days, and she was glad to have Kaoori there.

He couldn't recall ever

He couldn't recall ever speaking to the doe, but he remembered her well, and knew her scent. He would retrieve her, and once settled nearby, other company not too far off he'd look to her, head tilted some with an ear flick. "It is good to see you...". Simple as that. He wondered if she even remembered him, seemed like it had been forever ago since his days as a fawn.
Phaios's picture

Her reply is simple, quiet

Her reply is simple, quiet against the backdrop of pattering rain. "It's been a while, hasn't it, Xetkal?"
She remembered him - though by an older name. He'd never come to her before, that she could recall - at least not while she was alone - and finding him beside her when she had glanced up to see who had tread so close was quite a surprise. It had taken a few moments, but she did recognize the stag.
"You've grown."

'Xetkal', she would call him

'Xetkal', she would call him by. Ears dropped to the back of his head momentarily, the sockets of his eyes growing pitch black, eyes closed. With a gentle breath pushed passed his skull they'd be restored of color, gaze trailed off elsewhere then. "It's Thane now", he stated. The stag hated his old name, preferred it be buried and forgotten. When she mentioned that he had grown ears would perk forward once more. That he had. "Mmm...", he would hum. "How are you?".
Phaios's picture

"Thane," she repeats, her

"Thane," she repeats, her expression somewhere between curious and amused. "Forgive me if I slip now and then."
Phai turns her gaze towards the river's source, watching the tears trickle down to join the water's shattered surface. How was she? There's a question that bears some contemplation. She'd been lost in saddened thought when he had found her, but now, with a distraction, her mood was improved somewhat. "Well enough. I get by from one day to the next." A sideways glance at the stag follows. "And you?"

Shook his head gently. Eyes

Shook his head gently. Eyes would again look to her, though follow her gaze, he too watching the tears spill from the idol into the stream. At her answer a silent huff was given, possibly audible had it not been raining, was drowned out by the downpour. The stag could relate, though he would not touch on it. Eyes fell to the damp ground. "I'm doing... great". A lie, somewhat. His tone was a mix of sadness and doubt. "Happiness can be found before you anywhere if you look hard enough". What he was referring to was unknown, who knew. Perhaps Eraline and Syahi, moving on... or perhaps not. "Your company is most appreciated tonight, Phaios".
Phaios's picture

Phai's ears angle toward the

Phai's ears angle toward the voice beside her. He certainly didn't sound... 'great.'
"Mm... But before and within are different things, aren't they," she remarks. Her gaze focuses again on the idol - or rather, this time, on the deer dancing immediately to one side of it. "It's easier to watch than to join in."
His next comment catches her off guard, but she finds herself grateful for it. "A mutual feeling." The doe had found few things she disliked more strongly than being alone in these past few weeks.

She was right, but he was

She was right, but he was certain he could condition himself, make himself believe that they were the same thing, somehow interlink the two and be just fine. Not now or immediately, but eventually. The stag would give a brief shaking, a poor attempt at ridding himself of the collected rain. To no avail, he'd only be met with more droplets to mat his fur. He would disregard touching further on the topic. At her response would have allowed a grin to creep across his expressions. "Good". With lack of anything more to mention would grow quiet, offering himself as silent company now, unless she had more to say herself. Thane would creep a little closer, but otherwise grew still thereafter, resting his head atop the wet ground.
Phaios's picture

The brown-furred deer leans

The brown-furred deer leans against the sturdy base of the tree, hardly batting an eye when Thane shakes himself and spatters an extra helping of droplets her way; she'd given up on the endeavour of keeping the burden of rain out of her pelt when she had settled down. His grin, however, does evoke a small, fleeting smile. Well, that was something.
"Hn."
Finding him wordless, she falls silent herself. A year in the Forest had taught her that these creatures often had a way of speaking without a need for such novelties as verbs and nouns. Resting side by side was more than enough, most days, and so she welcomed his inching sideways.

[I've actually got to head out - supposed to get up early tomorrow, oops~ So glad to see Thane, though! ♥]

Vegas shifted uncomfortably.

Vegas shifted uncomfortably. Hey. Sorry you got hurt... and stuff. Was all he said, although he still remained near her, nervously helping the brown female keep an eye on the big, red male who was currently very angry at the both of them.. and possibly the rest of the innocent world.


[ /forever lame plz ]
Phaios's picture

Phai sighs, her gaze sweeping

Phai sighs, her gaze sweeping from the stag to the bull-headed... well, bull. "Occupational hazard, unfortunately," she replies with an attempt at lightheartedness. "Don't fret over it. You didn't cause any of it."

He's always like this, then?

He's always like this, then? A simple question, however it sounds more curious than the gray had intended. He then rolls a shoulder, and glances back at her. You tried to stop him from kicking Thane's as-- erm, butt. And Thane was there because of me. Ergo, it all kind of comes back to my being there.
Phaios's picture

The doe peers up at him with

The doe peers up at him with interest. "Always? Not quite, no - he's quite docile with certain deer. Others... not so much." Well, obviously. "And Thane has caused enough of his own problems with Gustiro, Gustiro's got a hot head, and I could have easily let them two go at it instead of inadvertently involving half the forest - and that's not even bringing the Wolf into it - if you really want to play the blame game. I doubt you intended anything to happen." Her tone is firm, but gentle. She looks him up and down. No, didn't seem the up-starter sort... "So relax."

He listens to her, and then

He listens to her, and then rolls his other shoulder, shifting his weight again. The females stern tone seems to take the fight right out of him. Not like he would have argued much further anyways. Too tired, too much work. Too little brain power. Well, when you put it that way.. He trails off, and after a long pause, he starts up again. He certainly doesn't look docile right now.. You said something about Thane. What's he got against him?
Phaios's picture

"No, he's angry." He'd never

"No, he's angry." He'd never charged at her before, but today had certainly changed that. She lets a long 'fffff' of air pass through her lips as she mulls over the question. "From what I recall, he was at odds with Gustiro over a young doe he fancied and who Gus acted as a guardian for. It was a long time ago, and she's since disappeared. And then there was his daughter, Eraline... Even though he was her father, Gus didn't much take to him being around her, I don't think. I haven't seen Thane much since he was a fawn, really, until the other day, so I'm missing pieces I'm sure." The doe's brow furrows as she studies the distant red bull again. "For a 'simple' creature, he's terribly complicated."

I could have figured out the

I could have figured out the angry part myself, The gray says, looking a little bemused. His amusement faded and his lips turned down again. I don't think there is a such thing as 'simple'. Everything is complicated, A worn out sigh. Everything sucks sometimes. Complex becomes simple, simple becomes complex and then the entire world is turned on its head.. and like I said, everything begins to suck. The gray sounds a wee bit childish.

However... Hey. I didn't get your name, and since you're talking pretty freely with me.. Could I have it?
Phaios's picture

[Pfffft, it didn't say there

[Pfffft, it didn't say there was a new post and I totally missed it xD Sorry]

A grunt. "Yes, he is rather obvious about it, isn't he... I just wish he wouldn't tear himself up so much." If she had to watch him pass out for another week she'd... well, she didn't know what she'd do, really. But something!
Phaios listens to him mope about life's complications, studying him with an odd mixture of 'are you serious' and amusement. "Things don't seem so bad once you've been in Blackness." She doesn't bother to explain the statement, though.
Speaking freely? I suppose I am, she muses. "My name's Phai."

[ LOL no problem ] A weak

[ LOL no problem ]


A weak chuckle, then a head tilt. Blackness? What on earth was she on about? Well, she didn't expand, and he didn't ask. Instead, he carried on the conversation as if he hadn't really heard her other statement, and if he did understood it completely. Well, its nice to meet you, Phai. I'm Vegas. He yawned. You're.. uh.. Nice.
Phaios's picture

"Likewise, Vegas." A smile

"Likewise, Vegas." A smile flickers across her lips. Nice? "Ahm... So I've been told. Thank you." It was wonderfully pleasant to hear after getting fussed and yelled at by so many others today.

Vegas shrugged and gave a

Vegas shrugged and gave a faint smile. Yep. Anytime.
Xemi's picture

Aaaaand one more track here

Aaaaand one more track here too ♥
Phaios's picture

somanytracks@.@ Thanks, Xemi

somanytracks@.@
Thanks, Xemi :3
Kaoori's picture

I am so honored you'd use my

I am so honored you'd use my art as a signature. ._.'
Phaios's picture

I love it so much, Kaoori~

I love it so much, Kaoori~ ♥
You're awesome~
Verdalas's picture

"Hello my dear. Indeed, we've

"Hello my dear. Indeed, we've not met. You smell quite nice though."
Phaios's picture

"Thank you." An unusual

"Thank you." An unusual compliment - or at least one she'd never received before. "...My name is Phaios," she says after a moment, not wanting to be rude.
Verdalas's picture

"A pleasure to meet you, my

"A pleasure to meet you, my dear Phaios.. A beautiful name." Rows of pointed teeth are displayed in a smile; not quite a sneer, nor quite a smug grin either. Although no eyes can be seen with the ivory-coloured mask obscuring his face, Walter's eyes are locked firmly upon the doe. "You dance well, I see. We should indulge ourselves like this more often, no?"
Phaios's picture

"My mother usually had good

"My mother usually had good taste in names," the doe answers with a hint of flush; she isn't much accustomed to flattery. The sharpness of his teeth catches her eye for a moment, but doesn't seem to phase her. Walter's eyeless mask, on the other hand, piques her curiosity as her gaze runs across it in search of his method for seeing through it. "I would like that," she agrees. The stag had been good company thus far, after all.
Verdalas's picture

The flush doesn't go

The flush doesn't go unnoticed and the grin grows even wider. "It would be an honour, dear, sweet Phaios." His slick voice lingers upon the last syllable of her name, almost as if savouring the sound. He pauses for a brief moment afterwards, letting his presence become more noticeable as he relaxes his weight to one side - in particular her side. "You may call me Walter. I'm sure our.. Friendship will develop more if we're on first-name terms.."
Phaios's picture

"It's good to meet you,

"It's good to meet you, Walter."
Her head cocks lightly as he shifts ever-so-slightly her way. She has to admit that the confidence this stag seems to exude is almost off-putting, but then, if she were twice as large, she might not worry so much about boundaries, either.
"Have you been in the Forest long?" she inquires softly. "I always wonder at the way I never quite manage to meet everyone."
Verdalas's picture

"I've been here since before

"I've been here since before the Birch Forest existed. I'm older than the stone there. Older than the first fawns." A chuckle escapes the stag at the personal amusement. How common it was for the younger deer to not know him. He did sleep often, after all. "Do not worry so much.. When you get to be my age, you'll realise it's impossible to know everyone. Myself? I tend to focus upon the ones that really matter.." He finished, and turned his head slowly, letting the light glimpse over the many scars upon his flesh. Cracks and chips were noticeable in the mask he wore, and it was very apparent that many of the spines of his large horns had broken away in years of combat.
Phaios's picture

Phai's brows lift in mild

Phai's brows lift in mild surprise. "I hadn't been aware the birches had not always been." Her ears press forward at the phrase 'when you get to be my age,' and it's her turn to laugh. "No, I learned that lesson long ago, in another place, but it seems I at least knew most of the faces then. Perhaps it is just that there were fewer of us." Yellow eyes track a butterfly towards the trees. "I am young here, but at home I was among the eldest of Her children."
Mulling over the stag's emphasized words, she watches the fluttering critter until it's too much trouble to separate it from the foliage. "So who is it that 'really matters'?" The doe was curious as to how he picked and chose.
Verdalas's picture

It often amused the stag when

It often amused the stag when the younger ones were unaware of things that had simply been the way of life for him. "For one who can remember who they were before coming here, that may be the case. I've been here as far back as my memories will reach. When there were also fewer of us here.. When I could remember every name.." A moment is taken to contemplate and the stag flicks an ear as a bee buzzes past. Names passed through his thoughts and for a moment the male seemed to let out a sigh of longing. It had felt like an age for him.

"The ones that matter are the ones that keep my interest." He eventually replied, giving his neck and thick mane a shake. "It's not often I meet someone who could dance as my beloved Ephra once did. Your grace alone caught my eye." And again another sigh left the stag, although less noticeable than the first.
Phaios's picture

An odd look crosses the doe's

An odd look crosses the doe's face as she studies the larger deer beside her - a mix of curiosity and knowing. Although the stag's situation itself eludes her, the loss and longing for days since past is something she understands well enough. Nostalgia is a fickle companion.
The name of another keeps her respectfully silent a few moments longer.
"I know how that is... It was simple to keep track of everyone until there were so many, before they all faded into the Blackness. Easy to be alone in a crowd, isn't it?" This last piece she muses quietly, almost to herself.
Another moment's pause is taken for debate before Phaios dares to ask: "Ephra... Someone special?" Her voice is hushed, a little hesitant to risk unpleasant memories.
Verdalas's picture

A slow nod follows the doe's

A slow nod follows the doe's question. "She was special to many. I remember her when I was young here. We were always together. We would dance and play.. Shelter together, wander between the trees.. We took duties raising the new fawns when they came.." His tone lowers and becomes somewhat bitter shortly afterwards. "But good things can never last. She is gone now.. Gone and I don't know where she is." Refraining from further elaboration, Walter shook his head, causing the loose areas of the mask around his horns to rattle.

"It's easy to be alone in a crowd when you are shunned for your past deeds." With a turn of his head he gestured to the nearby Ename ruins and the many graves marking the unknown historical site. "One lies dead there because of me. A child."