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I've got an annoying favour to ask.

March 12, 2011 - 5:55pm — Rutilus
So lately I posted about five pieces of writing, all non-TEF related, and I think I got three comments in total.

I'd really appreciate some feedback. I don't like begging for comments like this, I really don't, and I'm perfectly aware that I don't comment on a lot of things either. So maybe it's my own fault.

But really. If there's something you'd like me to comment on that I haven't, tell me and I'll go hunting for it. I go on rare little commenting sprees, sometimes.

I'm not good at critique at all, but I can point out particular things I like about writing, or even art - though I'm not an artist.

I've stopped posting explanations of my non-TEF work. This is because I want people to see meanings for themselves. If you see it, it's there. There's no right or wrong. Some of my stuff is autobiographical to an extent, but that doesn't mean anything is set in stone.

These things are either poetry, songs, or a mix of both. I can never make up my mind.

little lamb
wind commitment
conformity rebellion
Beast - Downfall ('Beast' is a series of autobiographical poems/songs. I'll explain that much.)
Beast - Striving
the lonely song

If you don't want to comment, that's fine. If you think I'm being a whiny little bitch, that's also fine. Like I said - I hate doing this. But I'd appreciate feedback. I can't show people in real life my stuff, even family - I get 'I don't understand it' or 'hm'.

they see me rantin', they hatin'

March 11, 2011 - 8:14pm — Rutilus
lawl rant ahead kthx

[ the lonely song ]

March 6, 2011 - 7:38pm — Rutilus
o the cliche title!

Sometimes I get so lonely
Can't tell the moon from the sun
Babe, don't you leave me now
We've only just begun

Turn my world, upside down
Combine the wrong with the right
And baby! You gonna set me down
I'm gon' be here every night!

No more staying out in stables
No more lyin' in the meadow
I won't give you no more grief mama
I'll tell you no more lies

I've been workin' on my feelin'
An' the empathy is risin'
I won't give you no more trouble, love
I'll let you in my life

You gotta send me a message
Or maybe a telephone call
Down the river of dreams
That's all I want from you, that's all!

'Cause I've been cryin' at night
And the wind's lost my sails
And your essence is fadin'
From my silver-plate rails

Yeah sometimes I get so lonely
Can't tell the moon from the sun
Baby, baby don't you leave me now
Oh we've only just begun!

Turn my world inside out
Combine the right with wrong
And baby! You can set me down
We'll play our lonely song

You're complex as my Shangri-La
Behind my paper curtain
You hide yourself and then you fall
Into the deep uncertainty

Think you know you're not the only one
That sits alone at night
And wonders if the lonely song
Was ever really right

So I'm gonna send you a message
In a bottle down the river
I'm gonna hear your sweet voice again
And make your body shiver

'Cause the wind has picked up again
It carries us far
You know you're the only friend
I'd trust with my heart

Yeah, sometimes I get so lonely

Sometimes I get so lonely!

Sometimes I get so lonely

Darlin' we'll play our lonely song

[ beast - striving ]

March 6, 2011 - 7:36pm — Rutilus
He flicks his curled tail
And gauges their reaction
Wonders what they must think of him
For being so open with it

She took a part of him with her
And left some of her soul
So that he might be able to return
To where they were

[ beast - downfall ]

March 6, 2011 - 7:36pm — Rutilus
The beast retreated when she left
And locked itself in Sorrow's slumber
His malice greatened
His heart grew weak

He took her garment and drew a breath
Of memory, sweet dusted fragments
Days spent solely with her
Encased in a warm embrace

The beast shrank into his soul
And let the present take control
But the present was himself
And he could no longer hide

The beast felt incomplete
And snarled in misery
For he knew that he completed her
But without her he could not be

Quite as complete as she

[ conformity rebellion ]

March 6, 2011 - 7:34pm — Rutilus

Furnace, and inferno
Melting down your colour scheme
Take apart what you thought was
Your per-son-a-lit-y

You'll never bring them here
You'll never get them too
The desert moon's nomenclature
Of bloodlust will appease you

She was a lady of good taste
She knew just what she'd be doin'
For the rest of her wild life
In a whorehouse, she sang

Hurricane, your exorcism
Frightens life from all the trees
They cut them down and bleed them
Into papier mache silhouettes

Oh she was a lady of bad taste
Knew just what she wanted
Couldn't get it in the wild when she sang
Her wings tore and she kept on singin'

You'll never bring them here - she said!
You'll never get them too - oh no!
The desert moon's nomenclature, oh
Does bloodlust never stay?

She sang 'til her wings tore
'Til the inferno flared down
And furnaced her scheme
Right outta town

guys guys guys I have a hamster (pictures!) [ update : MORE pictures 8D ]

February 27, 2011 - 5:26pm — Rutilus
HE'S AMAZING. He was the first one I saw in the store and I was like "no I don't want a white one" but then there were no other males and I LOVE HIM and I was going to call him Page(y) after Jimmy Page but he's too sweet and then I was going to call him Freddie after Freddie Mercury but IDK and then I decided on Robert because Robert Plant/Plobert Rant and oh god I'm running out of keyboard breath.

[ wind commitment ]

February 21, 2011 - 1:19am — Rutilus
And if I wander with the wind, f'r a while
Will you say you understand?
If I vanish in the summer rainfall, babe
Will you take me back again?

I don't want to be your burden
Or rain on your parade
But there's a light in the sky oh darlin'
Don't let me change

Don't let me change

When your mind flipped and you cried aloud
Did you think of me at all?
When you timeskipped and the marriage tore
Did you rip apart the dress you wore?

Oh when I wandered, with the gypsy lords
And we broke bread and drank the wine
I lost all trace and thought of you my love
My beginning, your demise

I don't want to fix the damage
Or feel bitter remorse
But there's that light again for us
Could you let it pass?

Could you just let it pass?

See the skies break, and the truth you fear
Did you hate my soul at all?
In the rivers from your backstab spear
Did you dance for me, my scorned-heart dear?

Let the light pass
And the wounds of time will scar you
Let the meadows sing again with me
And leave you in the wind

Let the light fall down
And the summer rainfall soothes you
Let your marriage memory of me
Remain with you unsinned

k sorry. [ important? ]

February 20, 2011 - 3:04pm — Rutilus
So I pretty much decided ages ago that this was happening but I thought I'd announce it anyway, I dunno.

Well, you know I'm barely inforest. I don't really roleplay, either, and if I do it's not for very long.

Three of my most treasured characters are in this forest. Taliene, Rutilus, Jared.

I don't want to trap them here. I want to use them outside of TEF, in their human forms, because Rut in particular is more human than anything. Tuna's influence, I guess. |D

They're not leaving, but hopefully they're going to have better lives I guess. I refuse to let them leave completely because there's no way they're losing all their friends, especially Rut even if half of his friends are gone anyway. But yeah.

Misako; sorry to do it like this, but I guess J+H aren't together anymore :c I've been feeling guilty for months over them because it's not like I ever use Jared, and I'm sure Hor could find someone that would actually you know. Be there. I've done this before and I'm sorry pfuffuff but at least it's for good this time.

Just to clarify one last time.

They're still here.

It's that their lives are going to be interlinked with other places and other people. Same with Maha, actually, because I love Maha with all my heart.

♥

[ little lamb ]

February 18, 2011 - 8:28pm — Rutilus
Pretty mama, you run me out of time
Ooh little darlin' got me out of my mind
Why you always look at me that way?
Babe if I told you the truth, would'y stay?
Would you stay? Would you stay-ay?

Got me chasing the wind for your grin
Make me love you 'gainst my will
Ooh, when you look at me at night!
Feel my sweet breath run away
Run away, run away-a-ay-ay!

CHORUS:
You got me dancin' with the lamb, pretty woman
And you make me send down the rain!
You play with fire y'get burnt, oh baby
Leave me alone, leave me alo-ow-ow-one!
/CHORUS

If I tell you now, you gonna leave me
But then if I lie you break my heart!
Why you always look at me that way?
Ain't no way I make you stay
Won't you stay? Won't you stay-ay-a-ay?

[ CHORUS x2 ]

How did I get here, where did I go?
Beautiful darlin' make me feel so low
And then oh you bring, you bring me right back up again
Don't know where we're goin', only know where we've been
Where we've been, God where we've be-e-ey-en!

You know you make me crazy, little lamb
But there ain't much else I can do
Gonna give all my love to you, every inch
All my love just for you

Little lamb
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