I can't believe it but,

Yeah. There's something about Christmas Eve that makes me cry -- my usual thing is spending the evening on my aunt's back porch while a party I can neither enjoy nor tolerate goes on inside, and I'm basically trapped there for a while. But not this year -- I lucked out, and happen to be sick (no, really.)

No, this year I have weightier things on my mine, and I feel like I just need to get them out somewhere. I know I'm often something of a worry-wort, but I think now I have some legitimate causes, which makes me authentically scared and sad -- especially this time of year, when logically togetherness and merriness should abound.

There's a friend online I've been close to for over 4 years. And then she vanishes sometime, oh, a month or so ago. Maybe more. It could be school, but she's not back -- which makes me worry more. It could be a lack of internet. At which point I would be so freaking relieved...but...she's had some suicidal tendencies in the past, especially recently. She's had some delinquincy issues in the past. She's had some psychological issues in the past. So I can't stop worrying that she's dead or in jail or in an insane asylum somewhere, and I've forgotten her actual last name, and can't track her down just to be sure. She's the only person who was enough like myself to really understand my feelings, and the thought that I might never hear from her again scares me a lot.

And then there's my IRL best friend of...11 years of so, if my math is right. She had family issues long before I met her, and a few years ago, things got worse. A lot worse. Recently, things got so bad that finally the situation got outside attention. And things could get better from here, or things could get a lot worse. In a week, we'll know...But my friend is worried (and I agree with her) that if things go the "lot worse" option, her life could be in danger.

And to all a good night,

At least the night should be good
To those who wish it so
I hope will be how it should
For tomorrow I let you go

So now I bid you farewell
And I hope that will be true
And so here are wishes well
From calmest me, to loveliest you

Good night, Good night, Good night
My most wonderful Deer
And I thank the twin Gods
That we both are here



~Good Night

...

I was Lemon's Secret Santa! This is for you!

Here's to hoping all have a Merry Merry holiday break!
May your days be filled with all sorts of happiness and family blessings.

(and yes.... even the 'drive you up the wall' family members can bring you joy...however small that joy will be...it's still joy ^_^ )

Enjoy! And a Merry Christmas!


**
***update***
For those who are wondering about their artz from me and the tiny minie deer...I have good news!

Since my old computer has finally called it quits on me and has gone on into the great computer place in the sky... my mother has wonderfully said that she shall buy me a new one! Which means...I can finish the artz for all!

HUZZAH!!!!

Now... I must save my money to pay her back of course,
(because that's just to expensive not too)
...but!...
all is well because luck is on my side!
I have an interview next week, with a possible job attached!

DOUBLE HUZZAH!!!!

Its seems with one bad ending, a brighter good shows up on the horizon.

Wish me luck!

Edmund

You are a sweet little deer c:

Whatever you celebrate, I hope it's happy and filled only with the best memories.

Thank you, TEF, for a good year!

-Ocean

December 24, 2009
She walked out of the hallway wearing scrabby jeans and a loose fitting long sleeve shirt. Her bare feet stood there. Her hair was half done and her face was young and alive yet distant. She slouched out to the living room. Sun poured through the large windows. She made her way to the back door and on her way picked up a water bottle for the fridge. Opening the door to the back patio she was greeted by the sound of birds. It was a good thing she didn't live in the city. She enjoyed being alone in this rural place. She shoved her hand beneath the brown couch cushion and pulled out a packet of cigarettes. Why she hid them no one knew, its not like anyone would have cared. She opened the small green and white box and only 3 remained. "Shit." she said to herself quietly. She had been meaning to quit for some time but, due to the frequent circumstances who could blame her. She lite one up and laid back into the soft couch. The sun beat down on her face if you didn't know better you would think it was spring. You'd never guess tomorrow was Christmas, not from her expression or the weathers alike. This was her life and all her days seemed to follow the one before it. But she wasn't complaining, she'd be unhappy if it was any different. She closed her eyes and hummed along to some random music she'd been listening to the night before.


Trying out Aegle's human form. ^^' Enjoy? I'm getting scared by how much she is like me... |D -brick'd-

I'm going to restart my computer altogether, meaning I'll loose all the crap i don't need and have loads of space left (8
The trouble is, I'd rather not loose the spelldata I have stored, so if someone could please give me their email address and offer to help, I'd love it if you could save them (8

Thankyou<3