Hey guys! Lieka brought it to my attention on Deviantart that I never posted my "goodbye" post.

Those of you who know me know that I have recently been disappearing off and on for quite some time. Unfortunately, this time I'll be leaving the community for good. I'm so sorry if my disappearance has worried anyone, or hurt anyone's feelings.

I'm not making excuses with this post, I just want you guys to understand why I won't be around. I figure I owe you at least that much. (:

Friends of mine know that I've been struggling with anxiety for many years, and recently the stress has gone through the roof. The Endless Forest was, at first, a place where I could come and relax. But as my character grew, the drama kept increasing, and it became stressful simply playing the actual game. This sounds bad, but it isn't meant that way. Drama is good, I've always said that. But I'm at a point in my life where stress is so high that I can't deal with any more. So roleplaying isn't for me, right now -- and not just at TEF, but everywhere I used to roleplay. I get too intwined with my characters, and I can't take it.

Please understand that it isn't you guys at fault. I really want to stress that part. Basically, I have a disorder which causes my brain overreact to every tiny amount of stress. Things which most people don't bat an eyelash at. It gets so bad sometimes that I actually feel the physical effects. For a few years, up until last June, it was difficult for me to even leave the house. That's under normal circumstances.

Yup, here we go again. There probably won't be as many this time.

(Psst... Click "Read More"!)

Warning: This is very cold, neglectful, and evil. You have been warned.

[=10]Kaoori laid on her side in the grove and watched her new child taking it's first steps. It was funny, five months ago she looked forward to this moment with hope and desire. The moment she would finally become a mother and bring life into the world.

And yet, as she looked upon the clumsy disproportionate creature before her wobbling to stand and falling repeatedly she could only feel shame. She had known Wesker had his bad hair days also, but she had been hopeful that his least desirable physical traits would spare her future child. The tiny fawn turned it's head to face it's mother with adoration and let out a muffled "mrrrrrrr". Not an adorable moo. Not a cute maww. a Mrr. She felt disgusted and looked away.

Wesker had left to find food for his new family and she was left alone to babysit that..thing. She had never thought herself shallow, but as the crippled child took it's first tentative steps towards her she could not have moved faster to recoil from it's presence.

"Mrrrr?" It stared at her with those large firey eyes and opened it's gaping jaw questioningly. "Mrrrmrrr?"

Kaoori reared violently and screamed in protest. "Get away! Get away you s-sick..you Get!" Shame. Fear. Desperation.

Another clumsy step and pleading call. "Mrrrr...?"

Wesker would return soon. He would make it better. He would take this..their son away and she could have time alone. She froze as she felt a wetness slide across her forleg and stared down at the protruding tongue of her godsforsaken child.

It was an impulse.
She couldn't explain it to Wesker when he returned.
She said it was an accident.
....
She said that she did not see their child.
That she had thought he were a snake in her confusion.
...
And yet she knew better.

Amadahy

She'd seen it, just laying there, abandoned. White, perfectly rounded and oval...covered in mud. That wasn't right, was it? Not if that was what she thought it was.

Amadahy blinked at the azure waters, making sure of what she saw. It couldn't be. Not his...
His.
She'd heard the rumors...chosen not to believe them. It couldn't happen, not to him.
It did.
The mask was undeniable proof, sitting abandoned at the bottom of the pond, like a child's abandoned toy. So far down...
Maybe she could reach it. Maybe when she did, she'd see that it wasn't his. It'd just be another abandoned mask. Not Furfur's.

The doe stood at the edge of the pond, readying herself to jump. She would swim to the bottom, dredge up whatever was there. She would grasp it, pull it to the surface, find that it wasn't his.

She jumped.

The water parted in little ripples around the small doe, sealing her beneath its clear surface. Ama dove, deeper down, searching through the disturbed mud floating in the water.
There.
Suddenly, the water was choking, pulling her down.
Drowning...
Just inches before the mask. Only inches.
She propelled herself upwards, bursting the surface and landing face-first on the bank, breathing heavily. Slowly, she stood, covered in mud, and turned to face the pond again.
It was his.

[Alec & Kita: Hope you don't mind that she tried to retrieve the mask. >.<]

This is a continuation of amare-et-sapere-vix-deo-conceditur
If you are just getting in now see here for the full story links Story Collection

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[=Sylfaen][=13]Kita stare at the stag she followed behind, mind whirling with what he had just said. Seshi. He had called himself Seshi, but that couldn't be. Seshi had died, he had died and become her Furfur. She supposed he might have had the same name, but she had never met another who had the name of someone else. She frowned, troubled.

She looked ahead as they walked, making their way up to the twin gods statues. She slowed, "Can we stop here for one moment?" she wanted to pray to them for Furfur's safety. She didn't know where he had gone, but she could hope that he was safe and he would come back to her soon.

"Of course, look! I am as strong and mighty as the gods!" He posed beside the statue and gave her a smirk as he watched her.

Kita looked over toward him, rolling her eyes and sighing shaking her head "Oh ya, so big and manly" she turned to go, hoping that they walk was over so she could get back to trying to figure out how to get His mask from the pond.

"Hey, hey! Our walk wasn't done yet, I have stuff to show you still," he gave a grin and trotted before her, cutting off her path back to the lake. She had just wanted to go to find some to help her, someone who could go into the pond and retrieve His mask for her.

Kita sighed and shook her head slightly. She looked at him with her head partly lowered and blew out a breath as she gave in.

[=10]There was a swell in the dark; a swell of cobalt blue, swept with stars. A round eye turns toward the sky, black with laces of spots, unnervingly violet, before turning back down onto the shuddering surface of the Pond. The hind smiled ruefully, while the others slept, their chests rising and deepening with each breath of sweet air that they took, complacent in their unconsciousness, placid. She stepped among them, a grace in the dark, a naïve and otherworldly grace like no other. The pond shone in her wake, silver and glorious. How could something be more glorious than she? The thought pestered her for a few seconds before she mildly answered to herself; it wasn’t. It just appeared to be, for she knew that all were always less than she, in value and in appearance. She was beautiful, motherly, kindly, lovely, spirited, pleasant, admirable, gallant, a perfect spirit. As she did often say so herself.

There was a fawn sleeping down by the edge of the pond, shuddering whenever a breeze passed over, disturbingly cool. Kaoori watched with an interest that prickled—such gorgeous interest!—at the little being, so fragile and easily broken. Very easily broken, as it was. Ears flicked. The child was freezing, obvious to her eyes, but she made no move to comfort it. She was simply too good! Although restless in this night, she did not have time for such unimportant matters. She did not even know the creature. It coughed, hacking and sputtering, waking up from its light doze, staring around with frightened eyes. “Mum?” it questioned, hollowly, staring at the blue hind with a stare that could terrify the dead. Lavender eyes, like cold doll’s eyes, stared back into brown irises. “No,” she said simply, and the fawn swallowed, a cold sweat running from it’s forehead.

“Where is s-she?” it asked, sounding afraid as the doe stepped closer, her antlers sleek and black and imposing in the shade.

The forest that evening was dark, silent and foggy. Tsuki no nai yoru- a night without the moon. To these three small deer, it was an odd and dangerous night to travel. Wolves howled in the distance as a stag, doe and tiny fawn huddled on the edge of a thicket, looking ready to bolt at any minute.
The stag sniffed the air and paced impatiently. “We said we’d drop her off here and go. I don’t want to be here any longer than we have to be. This forest is not normal.. It never has been and I want no part of it.”
He snorted, stomping his hoof, and the young fawn darted underneath its mother. The doe looked down at the fawn with a hint of concern which slowly faded the more she looked at it.
“You’ve.. Never been normal, Kaori.. You’ll fit in better here. Your strange looks, markings..the color of your fur. They all stand out too much, bring the bears and the wolves to us too easily. I thought perhaps you were a gift of the Kami, being so special.. But..”
The doe’s voice trailed off as she looked up to her mate. “Takashi. We should at least stay with her until she sleeps. She will only follow.”
The tiny fawn had lay down underneath her mother. She did not understand much of what they were saying , or why they were here on such a night.
“You’d best hope she fall asleep quickly, Sayako. I am not waiting around all night. The wolves are getting closer. They’ve followed us here, and they know there is a fawn with us. They’re waiting for it to come back outside of this forest”, Takashi huffed, shaking his head and snorting, before he lay down in the grass. Sayako lay beside the fawn, who quickly moved closer to her mother, seeking warmth and comfort. She found little comfort, but the warmth was enough. Her eyes drooped as she became drowsy, and soon enough the world faded into silence and darkness.


Morning came, burning away the fog.

Been wanting to write something for him and couldn't think of what exactly so just let whatever come out through writing. It's just a snippet, something to help develope Rakkaus. Also, warning that it starts off dark and gore-ish, as a heads up. Hopefully it's not too dark but can show you what his past life was like and how much a difference being in the Forest is for him. I hope you enjoy! <3

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The battlefield reeked of death and the winged carrion seekers flew overhead, circling scavengers. Keepers of the souls, ready to take the dead to the next realm –whatever and wherever that might be. He could remember the detail of the carnage, of the dead littering the ground. But there was no noise and no movement but of the soul eaters in the sky.

It was like he was there, but not there. An observer who could not affect the moment frozen before him.

He could see the frozen faces of comrades and enemies alike, strewn about and riddled with holes and bathing the earth beneath them with blood. Sacrifices to the Mor-Ríoghain. To the whims of a king. Wasted lives.

As much as he wanted to walk away from the pain and failure he felt at this great loss, he couldn’t. He was pulled here often, to see what had been left behind. The carnage that he had been a part of. Found himself here, in this place, in his dreams and nightmares. It was were he went when he slept, to this blood soaked world and in a body he no longer possessed but was eerily familiar with.

He had a name, but he could not recall it.

Tall for his kind, his ancestors had been warriors and thus why he was one as well. Pale skinned and azure eyes that were dark like the night sky. Hair that was soaked with sweat and blood, black at the roots and fading out into silver tips. Whenever he dared to glance down, there’d be blood splattered upon his hands and forearms. Blood not his own, or so he assumes.

Gonna take three trades, please and thanks. If you like my art, go ahead and ask. I think I'll just be linearting them and putting the lineart in color, with a flat background. However, this will prompt me to pay attention to detail. :3 In exchange, I would like one of my four deer, in any fashion you like. I'll do human or deer.

1. ArrowDoe - Africa
2. Trigger - Tails
3.