Yer know I messed up
Yerp I know i typed stupid things

U wana know why?

1) Im stressed, Works hard, I have to work with idiots who make my work load double as they cant do the simplest job right , yet they get paid more than me.

2) A member of my familys seriously ill and im worried sick for him. my familys stressed out over it.

3) My Bro's gone in the army. I fear for him

4) The government copany i work fors up for review and with high unemplyment levals I dont know how i will earn enough to live Irefuse to go on benifits and take from the government

5) I need a house to live in if i lose my job i cant get one.

6)I'm going to be doing a degree soon and really need to pass it. I may also be doing a apprentiship course

So im sorry I have cause offence I have caused.

This is directed toward everyone who was involved in the "Top 10 Heroes/Top 10 Villains" blog postings the other day, whether you posted on the blog or simply read what was going on.

What happened the other day was a mistake. I was reading a copy of Gameinformer magazine, that had video game top 10 lists, and it sparked the idea of voting for the top 10 heroes and villains from the Endless Forest. I wanted to draw a "heroes vs villains" artwork similar to this. But while I had started to work on this and get some support, someone decided to use the 'villains' blog to attack those who they had a personal qualm with. I understand that the deer in question isn't villainous, and I understand that what I did only made things worse. Things got out of hand real quick, and things were said that were simply unnecessary.

The blogs were taken down the following day, and I attempted to work with the information I had been given by writing a story instead of doing the fanart. I admit I did not understand Akuji's character well enough, and when Dag explained that the story I had written wasn't up to par, I removed it.

Since the incident occurred, I have felt nothing but grief. I began to question why I said and did the things that happened, and have felt both physically and mentally drained. What started as an idea to further my artwork turned into senseless drama. And for whatever reason, I stepped out of my comfort zone and tried to be more assertive with the situation. It was me spreading my wings for the first time. Now I understand it simply wasn't the right time to do so.

Therefore this is an apology to you as a community. I never meant to hurt anyone, and I never meant for the lists to be used as an attack. It could have been handled better.

.Moon.

The ground melted around his cloven hooves. The wind howled over his ears, he scowled at the gods. They cursed him! They betrayed him.

The glitter of the pond ahead, a ligfht in the darkness of the forest, a midpoint for travelers or lost fawns. This night of nights, the hallowed tree's sung no sweet tune to his ears, nor did his pictogram glow brightly for all to see. His mission was dark as the showdow that loomed below his body.

The firefly's that lived around the pond's graceful willow tree's, they were gone. The koi fish that danced so gracefully through the clear water's of the pond, gone. Sleeping calmly. Only the Gods knew truely what thoughts this stag had. His plot for this night.

Passing the tall birch tree's, snoring of many deer could be heard, they slept peacefully, their dreams filled with magic, not shadowed by nightmares. Leeon's head was only full on a thought, a simple thought.

Only a few months ago did he betray himself, the God's betrayed him, he stood up against the Demon Gazelle. He was punished. Blood was shed on that great stone bridge, a place where no evil could swallow. His blood now matted in with the moss that grew there. His mind was eveloped with a thought

His hooves reached the muddy edge, the pond glitter with a perfect picture of the moon. Leeon's eyes welled at the sight. He was born under this moon, the moon was his friend, his family. Everything. To see what he was doing, he could not stand it.

Stepping back, he waited until clouds covered the moon, the eyes of the Gods were no long upon his pelt. Walking back to the edge, he eyes for a certain somthing. There, a broken tree, it's splinttered trunk still firmly planted in the water.

Arriving where he began, by the shallow waters, did he fall.

With a gazing eye to the water, Xiar moved forward to the pond he had normaly called home. Now a young stag, he was returning home from travels deeper into the forest. The young male continueing to search for anwsers behind his missing parents though now at the age of 1 and a half he fears the worst. Hunters, was a concept he was becoming more and more aware of. This, was the thought that a pproched him as he walked into the cool water of the pond for a drink. Longated ears moving and swerving to detect each sound brought to them. Xair's heart was heavy with worry now, even though being 'home' again made him happy.
What was he to do now, he wondered feeling the cool movements against sore hooves. The stag knew he would have to find a herd or something soon, though a lone deer is more difficult to spot, it becomes sarrowful wandering alone. Such meanings becomeing strong in the young male as he walked past the willow trees and watched the leaves sway at his passing as if they remembered him as he did them. With a snort he passed the bridge listening to the bays and snorts of other stags near by, taking a risk Xiar wandered to great a few of them. Welcomeing, was how he found them, and was pleased by it as he enjoyed their compainy for a short while before moving onward again. Solo might get old, but for now it was what the male knew, and it might take a while for him to get used to others being so close again...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Glad to be back everyone ^^ finaly got round to reinstalling TEF. T^T my lil Xiar is all grown up! <3

my death waits on a crystal string
hangs from the branches above my head
sweeps overhead in the streets, in the night
time to go home where it's safe

my death lingers in the heart of the sea
pulls at my feet as I reach for the shore
silver flash past tired eyes in the light
nothing to fear after all

my death is a serpent that crawls on its side
a rat too afraid to appear to the world
the burning bush that lingers in dreams
invisible angel and cotton field murder

my death is demonic, it feeds in the dark
it plagues every thought and burns me alive
drowns me in quicksand and keeps the lights out
my death is much more than a nightmare

.