I woke in the Birch forest. There was a buzzing in my mind, like a gravitational pull. I groaned, lifting my head. Ears pricked forward, I tried to get my bearings. The sun was blazing down onto my back. I wasn’t in the shade – I was out in the open. A moment of panic swept me up, onto my feet. That’s when I realized that I wasn’t alone. There was a deer standing nearby. Watching. I froze, frightened. As the panic began to ebb away, I slowly began to recognize the deer’s scent. It was the deer I had laid next to, in the blueberry bowl. The deer I had followed to the ruins. I relaxed, lifting my head a little. Fumbling for words, I merely stood where I was, trying to find something intelligent to say. Before I could find anything, he bolted. I was disparaged.

”W-wait,” I called, more confused and hurt than anything. I listened to his footsteps fade, before following after him. I ran through the sea of grass, ignoring the tickle of the foliage against my belly. I may be small and slender, for a deer – but I know how to run, when I need to. My parents were mortal; running was their only defense mechanism. And I inherited their break-neck gallop.

I wasn't going to do this, but after playing the Sims for the first time in aaaages, and after creating a sim version of Lemon, I decided to join the bandwagon. I apologize for spamming with this worthless post. xD

I may add more to this later, or I may just let this post rot. We'll see. <3


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For physical appearance, consider the famous painting by Villers. (image courtesy of Wikipedia)

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* Is around 17 years old
* Named Lilly Madison Baroque (Lemon was just too crazy a name for the 1800s)
* Born on a farm in Maryland in the 1800s (no set year for the purpose of roleplay; may also be modern if needed).
* Her father murdered her mother in cold blood, and was arrested.
* Sent to live in an orphanage until she turned 17.
* Went blind at the age of 6.
* Usually wears fairly plain dresses, and a peacock-paisley headscarf. In place of the scarf, she may wear a peacock feather tucked into her hair (when it's fashioned), or a brooch with a peacock on it.
* Has long, pale, wavy blonde hair and extremely pale blue eyes. Her skin is very fair and white.
* Owns a pet raven named 'Robert Fairchild', or 'Robby'.
* Is a very serious and solemn girl, and can be a bit sarcastic.
* Has severe social anxiety, and prefers to be alone. If she can, she will hide from strangers.
* Very artistic, and is a talented pianist.

The 24th was spent frolicking around with my two beloved friends, Seth and the Phantom. We wandered through the forest for quite some time, enjoying each other’s company more than anything. That uneasy feeling in me had still been there, tormenting me. I wanted to hide from every stranger who looked my way; something I’m sure they didn’t appreciate.

You know what really made my day, though? Seth and the Phantom getting along the way they do, that’s what. It just makes me so happy. Happier than I should be, really. But… I can’t help it. Seth and the Phantom are my two very dearest of friends. When my world is crashing down, I know I can count on one or the other to bring me up, again. Seth by bringing me light and making me laugh; the Phantom by comforting me and taking me away from all of the pain in the world, to a place where we can be alone. A good place.



And to know that both stags can at the very least tolerate each other, is more than I could ever ask for.



That night, I discovered that it was Faris’ stagday. Though I had only met the buck once, I had come to like him almost instantly. I had been having a sulky day as usual, laying alone on the bridge. Faris came and laid next to me for quite some time, keeping me company in the cold. Even when I fell asleep, he remained, ever watchful. When I finally did awaken, he followed me around for a while – to dance, and then to curl up in the warmth of the old oak.

I’ve been laying low for the past couple of days. Not because I had more important things to do than traipse through the forest, but because I’ve been hit by a wave of timidity. That’s how it works; sometimes I can go for weeks without feeling the urge to hide, sometimes months. Sometimes the urge to hide from the rest of deerkind is so overwhelming that I am forced to keep to the shadows for days, lurking around the forest like a ghost. That’s how I’ve been feeling for the past couple of days – though the fact that most familiar faces have more or less disappeared from the forest doesn't really help. Even Seth has been missing, lately. I dearly miss his company, but I understand that he can’t be here all of the time. The last time I saw him, though.. he wasn’t himself. He was like a shell of himself. It worried me.

I have been neglecting my rituals for a while; I think the last time I did them, I was still a fawn. I’ve just been so overwhelmed with excitement over growing up that I’ve kind of pushed my spiritual half aside. I don’t believe I’ve ever mention my rituals, have I? Well, the most obvious ritual I have is praying. This morning ritual is very important to me, and I try to pray to the twin Gods every day; although it is difficult for me to pray when there are many other deer around. After I’ve finished my prayer – a chant the forest spirits taught me while I was very young – I gently kiss the two stones to either side of the statues; reminiscent of kissing the feet of Gods.



I have other rituals, but I don’t want to bore you with all of that. Perhaps I will tell you about the other ‘peculiar’ things I engage myself in, in a later journal.

I saw them! I saw the twins of dance! Well, I didn’t see them, but I met them! Well, I was too shy to actually approach them, but… well, you get the idea. I caught the tail end of one of their performances; I was overjoyed! One of my wishes was to see the twins in action. And even though I couldn’t see what they were up to, I’ve become rather talented at perceiving actions by listening. It’s important for me to have this skill; otherwise, I’d never know the difference between someone bowing to me, and someone lowering their antlers at me. Luckily, I’m equipped with a very vivid imagination; so I had a blast listening to the twins sing and dance.

After they left, I frolicked around with some fawns who had been watching. We probably looked ridiculous, but what do I care? I was having too much fun to care.



After that, I met a rather peculiar fellow at the playground. I was curious about him, but I was feeling rather timid. I cautiously stepped toward him, trying to keep myself from bolting. It would have been so easy to just jump down off of those rocks and gallop off; but lately I’ve been making a determined effort to be more friendly. I don’t know if anyone has noticed, but I really am trying. I don’t like to hurt the feelings of deer who try to approach me. Though it’s difficult and though it exhausts me, I have been trying to be a more social doe. So I carefully inched toward this unknown buck; something I very rarely do. I do not approach unknown males, when I’m alone. If I’m in the company of others – preferably under the watchful gaze of a familiar stag – then I will usually feel safe enough to say hello. But when I’m alone…

Last night, I ran into Rowan, and we decided to go matchy.



I actually quite liked the way the peacock feathers felt, laying softly against my neck. But I don’t know; I’d love to hear the opinion of you other deer. Since I obviously can’t see myself, which looks better? Oh, I’m being vain. I’m sure no one really cares which antlers I wear. Maybe I’ll just stick with the peacock feathers. I’ve been wearing them ever since running into her last night, but I still have the doe antlers available, just in case.

This morning, I awoke to find the phantom nearby. I ran to him, hoping he wouldn’t be frightened away by my, erm, new shape. Much to my relief, he was quite happy to see me. Our greeting was warm and affectionate; and I couldn’t help but marvel at how far we have come. It seems like only yesterday that I was watching him peek at me from behind a tree, not daring to get too close. Has it really been that long, since I first got close enough to touch him, tip-toeing tentatively toward him until I was close enough to reach out and nuzzle him? And now, here we are. I’m no longer a fawn, and he has come a long way from the deer I used to know.

It wasn’t long before Seth showed up, as well. I was overjoyed to see him, and he seemed surprised to see me. It took me a moment to remember my antlers; that the last time he saw me, I wasn’t quite as… colorful. Rowan was around, as well. Though she didn’t stick to our little group, I did hear her bounding by, every once in a while. She’s such a playful doe – she’s a good friend to have.

* sorry for bumping; just fixing a pretty ugly error. xc

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It’s been a while since I last wrote. I think it’s all of the excitement. You see, I am now all grown up. And just like that, I feel that a lot of my problems have been solved. Perhaps not permanently, but all of the sudden, I just feel magnificent. I’ve spent the last twenty-four hours prancing around with friends, feeling on top of the world. All of the sudden, strangers don’t seem quite as threatening as they once did – perhaps because they no longer loom over the top of me. Granted, I am still rather small for a deer; but I’m not nearly as small now, as I was before.

I get that from my mom, I think. Being small, that is. I can’t remember her that well, but she’s always there in my dreams. She’s so gentle, small, sweet. Sometimes I hear her lifeless voice; sometimes I see her half-rotten body chasing after me; and sometimes I can only feel her laying beside me, keeping me warm and safe. Sometimes, if I wake up alone, I have a moment of panic. I want to cry out for her, frightened at being so alone. Then I remember; I’ve always been alone. And I stay quiet.

The other day, I bumped into Seth, and he turned into a fawn! I feel much more at ease around him when he’s my size. It’s lucky I can no longer see, or I would be terrified of Seth. He has those huge antlers, you see – and it can be pretty intimidating to stand beneath them.

In lieu of Lemon's growing up, I thought I'd post this "Then and Now" quiz. <3 It's a mutation of the deer meme that was going around, not long ago. :3

"Then" is how Lemon would have answered the questions as a fawn. "Now" is how Lemon would answer these questions now, as an adult! <33

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Who are you?
THEN: My name's Lemon. I don't have a title yet; I doubt I ever will. So just call me Lemon, or Lem.
NOW: I'm Lemon.

Do you have any brothers or sisters?
THEN: I don't think so; I don't know my parents.
NOW: If I do, I no longer consider them to be blood relatives. That part of my life is over with; and since I don't have any adoptive parents in the endless forest, I think it's safe to say that I don't have any siblings.

Do you have a mate?
THEN: Oh no, nonono. -blush- No.
NOW: ...Oh, er, well, no. But I'm a true romantic, and... if the Gods are smiling down on me, it will happen... _soon.

Do you have any kids?
THEN: No, that would be pretty odd. I'm just a fawn!
NOW: Unfortunately, no. Because the forest spirits brought me to the Endless Forest rather than allowing me to die, I cheated death. Because of this, I was forced to relinquish a few things in life. Not only have I lost my sight, my supple frame, my memories of my former mortal life, and my happy childhood, but I have also lost my fertility. Although I love fawns, and will probably 'adopt' a few in my time, I'll never be able to have a fawn of my own.

What is your favorite food?
THEN: Flowers. The purple ones especially. The pink flowers are my favorite, but they don't taste as sweet as they look.
NOW: I'm rather fond of nibbling on young saplings. I also like the taste of the grass in the birch forest -- it has a melt-in-your mouth quality that can't be found elsewhere.

Have you ever killed anyone?
THEN: Oh no, I'd never!
NOW: What kind of question is that; of course not.

8DDD

Lemon has finally grown up!

So today will officially be her doe-day! 8D

Come join her in the forest, she'll be there for a while, celebrating! <333333!

Ooc: I wanted to do a journal about the 15th, because Lemon had tons of fun. <333 But I may just submit my favorite screenies of that day, rather than a full journal, since I don’t actually have much to say. xD Just silliness to report, really.]

~&&~

I awoke again, this morning, with those same feelings. The same feelings that have been bothering me for the past few days; that hazy anxiousness, that feeling of remorse and agony and love and inexplicable sadness. For a long time, I simply lay where I had awoken, my eyes heavy with sleep. It takes a while for me to get my bearings, after I awaken – to sink into the world around me. It takes a while for me to understand where I am. It’s not easy being blind in an endless forest; I’ve gotten lost more than my share of times. And I fear that will never change. Some mornings, I will wake up completely and utterly lost. This was one of those mornings.

After quite some time, I heard tiny footsteps approaching. I held perfectly still, breath baited, hoping the fawn would pass me by, bored with my unwillingness to join him in his games. Naturally, the desire to socialize was simply too strong for the little one, and he insisted on trotting right up to me. He bowed. I turned my head toward him, though it did not a bit of good. Sometimes I wonder why I keep these habits about me; why I pretend like I can see. Why do I turn my head to inspect things? I have no eyes with which to see, it’s not as if turning my head does any bit of good. But I suppose it’s just one of those things we deer do, without really having a reason for doing it.