The 24th was spent frolicking around with my two beloved friends, Seth and the Phantom. We wandered through the forest for quite some time, enjoying each other’s company more than anything. That uneasy feeling in me had still been there, tormenting me. I wanted to hide from every stranger who looked my way; something I’m sure they didn’t appreciate.

You know what really made my day, though? Seth and the Phantom getting along the way they do, that’s what. It just makes me so happy. Happier than I should be, really. But… I can’t help it. Seth and the Phantom are my two very dearest of friends. When my world is crashing down, I know I can count on one or the other to bring me up, again. Seth by bringing me light and making me laugh; the Phantom by comforting me and taking me away from all of the pain in the world, to a place where we can be alone. A good place.



And to know that both stags can at the very least tolerate each other, is more than I could ever ask for.



That night, I discovered that it was Faris’ stagday. Though I had only met the buck once, I had come to like him almost instantly. I had been having a sulky day as usual, laying alone on the bridge. Faris came and laid next to me for quite some time, keeping me company in the cold. Even when I fell asleep, he remained, ever watchful. When I finally did awaken, he followed me around for a while – to dance, and then to curl up in the warmth of the old oak.

I joined Faris’ party, and was surprised to find myself quite at ease. My feelings of timidity had evidently vanished. After we engaged ourselves in some line-dancing, simultaneous rearing, and then running around like fools, we does settled down to watch Faris and another stag spar.





On the 25th, I thought I saw her. In the forest. Calanthe. It’s not that I don’t like her; I do. But, I… Well, she and Seth were very close, not so long ago. Very close. Gods, he was crazy about her. I used to see them curled up next to each other, all of the time. And I don’t know why, but I could have sworn she was in the forest.

I woke near the Twin God’s statue, having fallen asleep there after my daily prayer. And I could smell her scent nearby; that same exact scent. And I could feel the same hum of her pictogram. I wanted to go up and say hello, to be civil and friendly. But Seth was in the forest, too. So I just stood there like a dumb little girl, my heart thumping like mad. Was this it? Had I… Had I missed my chance? Was Seth going to come sweep her off her feet once again, and leave me in the dirt? I stood there with my lips parted; my eyes stinging with tears; my little ears pressed back against the soft feathers of my headdress, which suddenly seemed so ridiculous and gaudy.

I shook myself to my senses. No, wait… Somehow, her scent was different. Different pelt, different mask, yes. But there was something else, too. The deer I sensed was… male. I blinked. It wasn’t Calanthe. Sadness and relief swept over me. I missed the doe dearly; we had spent quite a bit of good time together, when I had been a mere fawn. I remember wishing, one merry day, that she would think of me as her little daughter. But on the other hand…

I turned my head, ears pricking forward. Right, Seth.

I don’t like feeling this way. I never wanted to, you know. I was never supposed to. I was supposed to just… try to fit in. That’s all…

I turned and trotted away, away from the non-Calanthe, away from my beloved idols, toward the one deer who has always brought light to my darkened life. Yet, why did my feet seem to move so slowly? Why did my legs itch to turn and run? Maybe I just wanted some time to be alone, to think things over. Or maybe it was just that same old anxiety-curse coming to haunt me, once again. Whatever the case, it didn’t matter. I’ve been learning, slowly, how to ignore my body and mind. My spirit is strong. And even if my whole body wanted to turn tail and run, I didn’t stop. I ran until I reached a rise in the grass near the pond. I came to a stop, gazing down on a rather peculiar site. There were… two Seths.



Up until this point, my face had remained stoic and expressionless, as usual. But knowing that Seth was down there, being his usual goofy self… I just had to grin. I trotted down to meet him, taking care to nuzzle both Seths. We played for a while; it wasn’t long before we ran into another set of twins!



After a while, Seth’s ‘twin’ decided to say adieu, and our play took a more solemn turn. I was still a bit wary of the non-Calanthe, haunting the forest nearby. I was waiting for Seth to notice her pictogram, at any moment – to leap up and gallop toward her. I know he said he was fine without her. But deer have a funny way of changing their minds, sometimes. Much to my relief, he never did make even the slightest move in her direction. The self-pitying side of my says it’s because he didn’t notice her there. After all, why pass up the company of a healthy, beautiful doe for that of a… an antisocial, blind hag. I can’t imagine it.



Seth and I fell asleep after a while. When I awoke, I noticed him nearby, still playing with his own twin. I went over to meet him, but he didn’t seem interested in playing. ’It’s alright,’ I thought sincerely, without an ounce of self-pity. I retired to the bridge, where I watched his (their?) antics from a distance. When both Seths had gone, I headed off for the playground.

Now, I have mentioned that the playground isn’t an easy place for me to navigate. As a fawn, I absolutely hated the place. I think the phantom was the one who finally convinced me to come near the place. I’m always afraid of slipping or misplacing one of my hooves. One fall, and it’s all over for me. But I’ve slowly begun to get my bearings around the place – I can traipse all over the playground, so long as I’m careful.

Besides, I like laying at the lip of the tallest rock, allowing the little birds to gather around me and nestle in my feathers.

Seth found me there, laying demurely at the rock’s edge. I was glad to see him! And even better; it wasn’t long before my old friend Seed had joined us! It has truly been ages since I’ve seen dearest Seed awake. In fact, I’m sure it’s safe to say that the last time I’d seen him, I was still a little fawn.



Seed, Seth, and I all romped around on the rocks, for a while. I think I have begun to grow quite fond of the place, after all. The birds seem to enjoy it, anyway.



The next day, I awoke feeling… strange. That dull ache of timidity had completely gone. The fear in my mind had vanished utterly. I was left a nearly normal doe; ready to rub shoulders with the rest of the forest population.

I awoke near the pond, smiling to myself. It was going to be a good day, I could already tell. Nearby, I sensed a rather large gathering of deer. The perfect opportunity for me to practice my newly found social skills. Gods knew how long this spark of confidence would last; I needed to act quickly. Traipsing over to where the other deer had gathered, I suddenly recognized a very nerve-racking scent. Walter. I shivered, but I wasn’t going to let his presence spoil a good day. I puffed out my narrow chest, added a little swing to my step, and waltzed right up to the old demon. I gave him my sweetest curtsy, silenty praying to the Gods that I wouldn’t be met by a face-full of antlers for being so brash. Much to my surprise, I wasn’t. In fact, Walter proved to be a rather… charming deer. At least, at first.



Envigored by my sudden burst of confidence, I pranced around with the other deer. No longer was I sulking about with my shoulders slouched and my head hung low. No, now I could kick my heels up and swing my hips with pride. Even if this sudden burst of energy was only temporary, I was proud of myself.



My good friend Darcy was there, as well – though he seemed rather nervous, and preferred to hang back toward the rear of the group. I think Walter’s presence may have put him off, a bit. Seed was there, and twenty-one. I am quite fond of 21; I’ve always looked up to her. She always seems so demure and benevolent.

At any rate; Seed, Walter, and 21 soon split off from the original group, to be nearer to the pond. I, at first, hung back. I didn’t want to push my luck; but I suddenly found myself alone in a group of strangers – something which I didn’t much appreciate. I couldn’t find Darcy again, and I was beginning to feel old ghosts returning to haunt me. I trotted toward the three departed, my steps suddenly much more careful. 21 was the first to greet me; and she did so warmly. They had all shed their sets in favor of nakedness. I didn’t join them at first; but after a bit, I began to loosen up, and dove into the pond, as well. Throwing my head out of that water, feeling nothing but sunlight and warm water against my pelt… it really felt wonderful. Sometimes it’s nice to shed all the extra weight of magic.

The four of us eventually ventured into the center of the pond, where we all laid for quite some time. 21 fell asleep there, she never did stir.



After that, I went and joined Rowan and Darcy, who stood near the pond’s edge. Her appeared after a little while, and I was elated! I had heard about Her; but I’d never actually met her. Unfortunately, she caught me celebrating her arrival in a rather curious way (I, er, sat on her), and I think it put her off, a bit. I never did get close enough to say hello, but I didn’t mind.



Then, all of the sudden, Walter and Darcy were locking antlers. I waited a bit, trying to decide if I should stick around and help, or if I should give in to my sudden fearful emotions. I was saddened to see them fighting; I truly do hate seeing deer quarrel. After a bit, I simply couldn’t take much more. I retreated to a nearby tree, with my tail tucked in shame. What a useless wretch am I; I can’t even handle a harmless squabble. Seed joined me, either wondering what the matter was with me, or equally as disheartened by the sight before us. I waited until Darcy and Rowan had backed down from Walter before returning. There, Seed followed Walter back to the pond, and I followed Darcy and Rowan. I wasn’t able to see Seed again, until he had already said his goodbyes and was on his way out of the forest.

I wish all deer would get along.

Rowan and I spotted Her again, and we both went off to follow her, with Darcy in tow. She didn’t seem all too keen to see me, so I laid near a tree while she and Rowan interacted. Darcy hung around nearby, no doubt feeling as unnecessary as I.



After a while, Her trotted back to the pond; where I spotted Seed vanishing into a haze of purple smoke. I was disheartened to see that Seed had gone, and when I turned back to Darcy and Rowan, I saw that Her had fallen asleep, as well. I think that’s about when I spotted a little fawn, trotting merrily by. I followed him curiously, hoping to make a friend. He seemed frightened of me, at first. When Rowan and Darcy joined me, he bolted. I smiled, knowing exactly how the little fawn felt. We all followed him for a bit, convincing him that none of us meant any harm. After a while, he seemed to understand.



After playing with the little fawn for quite some time, I began to grow weary. I said goodbye to Rowan (Darcy had fallen asleep, by then), and curled up. I listened to the water lapping at the pond shore, and smiled. Yes, it had been a good day, after all.

Lemon