I woke in the Birch forest. There was a buzzing in my mind, like a gravitational pull. I groaned, lifting my head. Ears pricked forward, I tried to get my bearings. The sun was blazing down onto my back. I wasn’t in the shade – I was out in the open. A moment of panic swept me up, onto my feet. That’s when I realized that I wasn’t alone. There was a deer standing nearby. Watching. I froze, frightened. As the panic began to ebb away, I slowly began to recognize the deer’s scent. It was the deer I had laid next to, in the blueberry bowl. The deer I had followed to the ruins. I relaxed, lifting my head a little. Fumbling for words, I merely stood where I was, trying to find something intelligent to say. Before I could find anything, he bolted. I was disparaged.

”W-wait,” I called, more confused and hurt than anything. I listened to his footsteps fade, before following after him. I ran through the sea of grass, ignoring the tickle of the foliage against my belly. I may be small and slender, for a deer – but I know how to run, when I need to. My parents were mortal; running was their only defense mechanism. And I inherited their break-neck gallop.

After a while, the stag came to a stop. I carefully slunk to the protection of a tree, trying to hide myself from view. He turned toward me, I shrank back. He considered me for a while; I could feel his eyes on me. I waited with my head bowed, wondering what he would do next. Then he carefully began to creep toward me, the halting sound of his steps bringing relief to my buzzing mind. I carefully left the safety of my hiding place. We crept toward each other at a pace which would have been quite painful for any ordinary deer. Finally, I came to stand beside a young birchwood. The stag came to a stop, as well. We waited there for a moment – I catching my breath and trying to slow my pounding heart. He, no doubt, keeping a wary eye on me. Then, bravely, I stepped away from my comfort, and continued toward him.



I curtsied, he bowed. I stepped toward him, breathing in his musky scent, and he followed suit. The pointed beaks of our masks collided. I smiled. It’d been a long time since anyone except Seth had made me smile.



A strange feeling came over me, then. Like a click. Not an audible sound, but a sigh from my spirit. I turned my head a little, feeling frightened and confused. My ears flickered before pulling back against my feathered ruff in a nervous fashion. One more careful step forward; and I froze. A burst of birds erupted from the long grass between us, their fluttering wings shattering the silence like a bullet through glass. I could feel the little birds circling us, near our legs. And then they were gone, the soft whisper of their wings echoing into the distance.

All that was left, was silence.

I swallowed.

What was I supposed to do, now? What to say? Up until this point, I have only encountered deer who were more outgoing than I. It was never up to me to decide what to do. I was always the follower, the meek and humble doe who slunk like a shadow at the end of the herd. Now I found myself in the ghastliest of situations. My mind raced. I tried to recall what the polite thing would be to do. I curtsied again. No, no, not that again. The stag probably thought I was loony. At this point, I wasn't willing to discount the possibility. I was at a loss; fully understanding, now, how meager my social skills truly were. How long had I been standing there? Like a dumb little fawn, terror-struck and bewildered. I backed away. My mind continued to whirl and race, and it wouldn't stop -- GODS, if I could just have a minute to think!

My legs quivered, my lip trembled, my eyes stung with tears. "I-I... sorry," I muttered, my brows knotted to convey the utter remorse I then felt. And with that, I gave in to the worst of my temptations; I ran. I ran hard and fast, but not for long. I didn't get far before shame overtook me. I lowered my head in grief, mourning my pathetic lack of amiability. Then my legs buckled, and I collapsed onto my belly, beneath the shade of an old pine tree. My sweet safety; I always did find comfort in trees.

That's when I heard him, stepping toward me. I closed me eyes, my heart beating wildly in my chest. He missed me by a few yards -- it probably wasn't easy to spot me in the sea grass. I turned my head away, expecting him to laugh at me, scoff, to be angry at me for wasting his time. Or at the very least, to run on, and leave me to wallow in my own wretched loneliness. But he remained standing there, ever silent and stoic. And each silent moment brought comfort to me. I like the quiet; it does soothe me. Eventually, he crept close enough for me to decide that he wasn't going to be leaving any time soon. I carefully rose to my feet, determined to avoid his steady gaze. He bowed to me, and a little smile flickered on my usually impassive face. I turned to him and curtsied, my smile growing a bit wider. No... No, he wasn't like the others. He wasn't judging me, treating me like a helpless infant.

It was almost as if...

He understood.

And then he was running again. Tearing through the grass as if the world was on fire. It would have been easy to keep up with him; but that feeling of self-disdain still hung over me like a cloud. He eventually came to lay in the blueberry bowl, and I slowed to a tip-toeing pace. I crept up from behind him, drowning in the sweet scent of the blueberry field; smiling to myself for a reason that I still can't determine. I came beside him, expecting him to get up and run, once again. When he didn't, I felt my merry smile grow further still. My legs folded, and I laid down beside him.

There, we laid. We laid together until he fell asleep and disappeared, lost in a haze of purplish smoke.



That's when Fenkovan came trotting up. I rose to my feet, listening as he tip-toed carefully in my direction. I bit my lip, grinning coyly at him. Daring him to come closer. After my little rendezvous with Chen, I was feeling giddy and ready for anything. He quickened his pace, and I trotted toward him.



After an affectionate greeting, that awkwardness returned. My smile faded, my previous feelings of eagerness began to subside, and I was again faced with a rather gruesome situation. What was I expected to do, now? I tried to engage Fenkovan in various celebratory activities – hopping in circles, for the most part – but he didn’t seem interested. Eventually, much to my relief, he soon took charge, and lead me away from the blueberry bowl.



I followed him for quite some time; he was looking for someone, as far as I could tell. After quite some time, he finally found whomever it was that he was looking for. Fenk bolted for the pond, and I trailed along behind.

When we broke from the safe shelter of the trees, I began to feel a little ill at ease. There were a lot of deer hanging around the pond, then. Though I knew one or two of the deer, I still preferred to solitude of the forest to the bustle of the pond. I tried my best to stick around, but I fled for the forest before long.



I nestled against a nearby tree, listening to the deer carry on about their business near the pond. That’s when I noticed a change in Fenk’s spirit. He seemed… crestfallen. I rose to my feet, brows knotted. Did he really care that I was missing? I inched forward, testing the waters. After a moment, I recognized the doe who stood beside Fenkovan – Kailani. I smiled. Fenk and Kailani were broken away from the main group, so I trotted over to greet them. Much to my relief, no harm came to me. In fact, I found myself having a rather agreeable time.

After a quick slumber near the pond, I awoke to find myself utterly alone. I stretched my weary legs, suddenly reminded of the pursuit I had partaken in, only hours earlier. First, of the large-antlered like-spirited buck. And then, of Fenkovan. I was exhausted. Nevertheless, I was feeling a little less antisocial than usual, and I decided to try and locate some other deer. I headed for the playground.

When I arrived, I noticed Kailani, twenty-one, and Walter. I laid nearby, while they went about their business. Kailani tried, for some time, to coax me over to play with her. It took a while for her to convince me, but she eventually did. I went and climbed up onto the rocks, my legs quivering with exhaustion. She called me up onto one of the tallest rocks – the rock which I usually avoid for obvious reasons. It took me a while, but I eventually figured out how to get up onto the rock. I stood, shaking with terror, probably twenty feet above solid ground. Kailani understood. She took the liberty of showing me exactly where the edges were, so that I wouldn’t fall. I nodded, thanking her, and felt much better.

After a while, we came to notice that Walter was in a distress over twenty-one, who was fast asleep. He cried for her, over and over, but she never stirred. I watched, not wanting to impede on his privacy, but curious and sad for him at the same time.



I wanted to comfort him, but I was still a bit nervous around the old stag. Only when my friend, Kallie, ventured into the scene, did I even approach the rock upon which Walter stood. I was glad to see Kallie; but Walter wasn’t as happy to see her as I was. He lowered his antlers at her, bellowing in her face. I tried to get between them, trembling with fear. It isn’t like me to get into tussels with other deer; but Kallie is a young and sweet deer, and I wasn’t about to see her torn to bits because Walter wasn’t having a good day. Walter turned away, and Kallie backed down. I sighed with relief.



After a while, Uio showed up. I was ecstatic to see him, and I tried my best to convey this. Kailani, Uio, Kallie, and I all stayed together as a group for a while. After another echange with Walter, however, Kallie bolted. I followed her, worried that she was feeling rejected. I met up with her at the pond and tried to comfort her; which, I think, she appreciated. Uio and Kailani came following, not long after.



I played for a while, but my anxiety was slowly creeping up on me, once again. When I made certain that Kallie was feeling better about herself, I slunk away for the bridge, seeking solitude. I hadn’t laid there long, before I was startled by the arrival of another deer. At first, I thought one of my friends had followed me, trying to coax me back toward the group. Not all of my friends can accept my longing for solitude, after all. But it only took a moment for me to recognize who had approached me. It was Walter.



I rose to my feet, hoping I wasn’t due for some sort of angry lecture. But Walter wasn’t interested in making me feel bad. In fact… it seemed that he was trying to comfort me. I crept toward him, careful to watch my footing on the slippery bridge. When I reached the grass, I lifted my head and gave him an appreciative nuzzle. After a moment, he invited me to follow him. I nodded, curious as to where he would lead me. He took me to the crying idol, where he gathered some red poppies – my favorite foliage of the forest – into his antlers. I grinned. He bowed to me, and I curtsied politely in return. And then, he was gone. I stood, listening to the sound of his hooves blend into the silence, until I couldn’t hear anything, anymore.



That’s when Uio and Kailani came galloping up, wondering where in the world I had gone. I laughed, suddenly feeling as if the world had gotten a lot brighter. I spent the rest of the day fooling around with Uio and Kailani, having a wonderful time.

As I fell asleep beside the crying idol, listening to the gentle roar of the water, I had to smile. Today, had been a truly wonderful day.


Love,
Lemon