A Persistent [Balthamos] Memory

GuardianGhost's picture




'Hover' css ahead.
Warning: may contain mature/disturbing language or themes.
Any kind of interaction is welcome.
Email:
Skype: dustdeluge
On somekind of break, probably will be active again on the end of September c:






Updates
" ... "

...

Physical Health : 80%
Mental Health : 90%

Traits
Name : Sean Grieg (forgotten)
Known as : Balthamos, 'Mos
Title : The Guardian Ghost
Gender : Male Fawn
Age : Ageless
Species : Tef deer / Ghostly Presence
Orientation : Panromantic
Voice : Childlike, not clearly masculine
Size : #23
Scent of dust and musty smell
Candles, Crying mask, Zombie pelt, Mini spell

Ex Guardian Angel Tends to 'watch over' the others, the more he feels closed to someone, the stronger this instinct becomes. Moreover, he's still influenced by his old code, which, for example, pushes him to tell (nearly) always the truth or to get very angry at crystal clear injustices. He's no fanatic, anyway. - Cradle Has elected to his home a little tomb at the graveyard, which looks like a cradle to him. Dislikes unknow creatures taking this place. - Animate He's like a breathing living creature, with a beating heart, and his body, as solid, can be damaged. Nevertheless he's ice-cold to the touch. - Paranoid Suffers of persecutory delusions. He's sure that "They" are on his trail and will find him even in the forest. Even if he's unlikely to consider a forest creature as one of They, he will be deeply upset by deers that seems to stalk or spy him.
- Water Due to his previous life experiences, he 's terribly scared of the pond and suspicious of the water in general. The snow is ok since it doesn't melt on his cold pelt, but the rain causes him to flee in search of a refuge. - Soul Washer Punished with a contrapasso that resembles his sin: as he tried to purify a soul recurring to an easy way, so he must do to all the souls which asks his services. The purification consists in the forget of specific memories, that the Guardian Ghost will remember instead of the "washed" soul. - Diet Since he 's partially ghost, he actually doesn't need to eat or drink anything. In spite of that, he's fascinated by the view of eating creatures and by any kind of sweet food. Instead he finds the process of drinking quite distrurbing.

- Obliging, always extremely respectful of everyone and well-mannered, is used to refer to others calling them "Miss" or "Mr".
- Clingy, has a constant feel of cold, so he's attracted the nearest possible to other living creatures. But this doesn't mean he dislikes cold creatures.
- Submissive, hates having arguments with others and will always search for a diplomatic way in order to solve problems.
- Patient and, if not stimulated, extremely quiet, since has no real time perception.
- Lives in the constant fear of being abandoned by everyone, a thing that considers inescapable.
- Poor fighter. In spite of his strong will, he has no clue on how to fight properly, lacks in physical strenght and has no antlers neither any kind of offensive "weapons". A ridiculously easy pray.
- Owner of Cypher's tie clip (a gift by Migisi), kept in "his" cradle.


Relations

Trusts
Migisi, Leviathann (gone), Cypher (gone), Nat-Nat

Acquaintances
Illrose, Crucio, Saburo, Alain, Djinn, Bright Eyes (awe), Herla, Harley, Umay (awe), Greitai, Ravly, Berlioz

New Encounters
Kody, Beren, Morikiah, Shineri, Gehirn (awe), Sho, Sonne, Momo, Vladimir, Neveah, Rumia

Fears
Tullus, The Warlock (deceased), Geography, Tieff (deeply unsure), Sianna, Tikwid, Ariel, Jack (gone)


Other

Writings
By me (x,x,x,x) - By Quadraptor (x)

Art
By me (x,x,x) - By Chickenwhite (x) - By Kohva (x,x) - By Cicadia (x)
By Pegasicorn (x) - By Meadow (x) - By HellsBells (x) - By Mouchette (x)





Upper art by HellsBells.
Credit to Unplugged and Shamiya's awesome CSS blogs.
Balthamos belongs to me, he is an original idea, always IC and does not represent the player.

I feel so guilty. For real.

I feel so guilty. For real. Didn't want to destroy your inspiration or steal your idea or anything. ;;;;;__;;;;;

...
Omg, a new page. D8 NOW I'M STEALING IT, TOO. ;;;_;;;
*headshot*
GuardianGhost's picture

Pfff you're so silly, it's

Pfff you're so silly, it's nothing, believe me.
It's just that it has been a real surprise! xD A good one, anyway.
But I'd like to know. Would you prefer me to draw which one of your deers?
siggy by Pegasicorn

I'll try to calm down now...

I'll try to calm down now... ._.; It's just that I know how terrible it is to get motivation to finish a picture destroyed by another picture with same theme so that's why I feel so bad about this now. I didn't know that you were going to draw a picture of the trio, too.
Oh, if you really want to draw one of my deer, feel free to choose which one. ;w; I'm super bad with making decisions. And I like surprises... <3

why am I not tracking this.

why am I not tracking this. |:
GuardianGhost's picture

Thank you MoonlitStar! :3

Thank you MoonlitStar! :3
siggy by Pegasicorn
cicadia's picture

It seems like just yesterday

It seems like just yesterday he was scared of bright. ♥ Ilubhimmm.
GuardianGhost's picture

Ahah it's true! Now he has

Ahah it's true!
Now he has an huge respect for him.
And loves him as a black blanket of feathers <3
siggy by Pegasicorn
cicadia's picture

" ... Maybe ... Maybe you are

" ... Maybe ... Maybe you are the only one which makes me feel really protected, Mr. Bright ... You will keep Tieff away, yes?"


"Of course, smallthing...of course..." His voice was gentle, even as he wound claws that rivaled the fawn's ribs in size around him.
"He will see to it...that smallthing is kept safe..."
GuardianGhost's picture

(May I say that the color you

(May I say that the color you use for Bright's speech is awesome? xD )

Balthamos was feeling like an humble sevant of the huge creature, and gazed in awe at it.
" Yes ... I humbly thank you, Mr. ... Such small I am ... May I ask ... Are you a God, Mr. Bright ? Usually powerful Gods do not notice weak things like me ... " He whispered, still a bit tense.
siggy by Pegasicorn
cicadia's picture

(xD Why thank you. I actually

(xD Why thank you. I actually just threw it together before that post...)

This question...earned him a thoughtful pause. Then, a chuckle. "Mayhaps he is..." A claw lifted and touched to the fawn's chin. "Kek, but...only by comparison...Smallthing, you are god in...in your own right, too...mayhaps, god to the birds, the insects...?" Again, he laughed gently.
GuardianGhost's picture

The ghostly fawn, curious,

The ghostly fawn, curious, was hanging on the creature's every word. When a claw touched his cold chin he started lightly, but made his best not to look a coward. Without understanding completely why his protector was laughing, he made a little smile. The reply arrived, trembling " Comparison you say ... I saw many powefrul being in my ... Life ... But only few of them could be comparable to you ... So you should be at least demigod, Mr. Bright. About me ... Me ... I am not comparable. I am quite ... Unique, and so alone ... I am sure you understand, Mr. Bright. I have no power on birds, neither on insects ... Only on memories. " He ended the sentence with a melancholy sigh.
siggy by Pegasicorn

"Miss Sax ... Wherever you

"Miss Sax ... Wherever you go, things goes wrong ... Why do not you stay away?"

I could not have worded that more perfectly. :'D
GuardianGhost's picture

LOL It's so nice having a

LOL
It's so nice having a trouble maker like Sax around!
Everytime I spot her picto I think 'Let's see what's going to happen this time...' xD
siggy by Pegasicorn

LOL :'D The thing is, half

LOL :'D The thing is, half the time she doesn't even mean it! Like today, she was just playing with Maeve and then BAAAAM Bright's attacking her D8" Bad luck. Bad luck follows her around.
GuardianGhost's picture

Ahahaha poor Sax! Well, at

Ahahaha poor Sax!
Well, at least playing her it's not boring! xD
siggy by Pegasicorn
Kumiko's picture

I think MSN died again.

I think MSN died again.
Kumiko's picture

It died again.... D=

It died again.... D=
cicadia's picture

;; Whyyy is he so cute.

;; Whyyy is he so cute. *pinchypinchy cheeks* I should add your msn or something.
Also, bright's feeling pretty drained, he's probably gonna relocate to somewhere that's not out in the open in a minute while I'm in class. Mos is welcomed to follow. ♥
GuardianGhost's picture

Cuteness is Mos' only weapon

Cuteness is Mos' only weapon against the monstrous creatures in the forest xD
You're really welcome to add me c:
And I'm sorry, but I have to log out right now ç_ç
siggy by Pegasicorn

Tracking. (8

Tracking. (8
GuardianGhost's picture

Thank you! c:

Thank you! c:
siggy by Pegasicorn
cicadia's picture

(._.; Apparently something's

(._.; Apparently something's wrong with msn. Here's my post.)


His black head lifted, small ears trying to perk, but only managing a twitch. He was still adjusting to this body, after all. "Hehe...think...something happened? Nono, sweet thing, jus'...jus need a change...need t-to be small..." Another giggle, before he shoved his head into the fawn's chest excitedly. "Heh, s-see, no big d-deal..."


Kumiko's picture

Where did lil' Mos go? ;_;

Where did lil' Mos go? ;_;
GuardianGhost's picture

Cicadia, Kumiko: Sorry guys

Cicadia, Kumiko:
Sorry guys it was raining hard and I had a blackout here! ç_ç
I stared at the empty screen with D: on my face for quite a long while...
siggy by Pegasicorn
cicadia's picture

Omg. ;; I figured it was

Omg. ;; I figured it was something like that, since he disappeared ingame so suddenly too. Glad to have you back.
cicadia's picture

He loomed over the cradle.

He loomed over the cradle.

A while now, he had stood here. Simply watching, taking note of the various spots of broken skin and quills that erupted from where they shouldn't. Taking inventory. He had seen this so many times before, it couldn't possibly surprise him. It did, however, make him angry. This was a child...

Still, his rage-induced shaking was repressed to a degree. It had to be, if he wanted to be this close. The last thing he wanted was to hurt 'his' smallthing even more...

Claws longer than the ghost fawn's ribs tightened their grip briefly on the edge of the headstone. Then, coming to a conclusion, they broke away, drifted towards his head. An unnatural gentleness was used to stroke the back of his skull. Not so much to wake him, but to offer some form of comfort if he was indeed awake.

Sax is displeased to see Mos

Sax is displeased to see Mos like this >>
GuardianGhost's picture

('his' smallthing? ç_ç ) As

('his' smallthing? ç_ç )

As the claw touched the back of the skull, some spasms ran through the fawn's body. The muscles kept contracting for a while, probably because of the pain.
" Who is there ... ? ... I did not wanted to ... I am so sorry, please do not hurt me ... " He whispered, without opening his eyes. Because, he was sure that if he opened them, she'd be there, in front of him. Waiting for him. Waiting for him to follow her away, away from his new home. He snuggled down even more in fetal position, like he was trying to remain close to his 'cradle'.

[E]: MoonlitStar: Awww, it's kind by her! I was just wondering what she was doing around him xD
siggy by Pegasicorn
cicadia's picture

(aw Mos. ;; ) The creature's

(aw Mos. ;; )

The creature's talons snapped away suddenly the moment the child moved. But once he became still again, they began to drift back. "Hush, sweet one..." Was rasped slowly, very close to the side of his head. Using his 'palm', he stroked back the fawn's ears using all the care he possessed. "...it is him...only him...the bird..." The more he spoke, the more each word sounded like a piece of a lullaby.
Laiia's picture

The Ghost was searching for

The Ghost was searching for Balthamos, feeling something was wrong with him. She didn't see him for some days now. It wasn't really normal, as she was used to meet him frequently. With a worried face, she called : Balthamos... ? Balthamos, where are you ? . Did They took him ? No, no... It wasn't possible. Nat-Nat rejected this thought from her mind. Though, the idea was still there. So, she called for the little ghost, again. Mos' ? Are you here ? Answer if you are... Please...

Avatar & signature by Shimmyshimmy. ♥
GuardianGhost's picture

Cicadia: Hearing the

Cicadia:

Hearing the familiar rasping voice relieved greatly the little ghost.
" Is that you, Mr. Bright ? It is so nice... It is so nice to have you here Mr. ... But I feel... Such a pain... Why is that ? Am I going to die, Mr. Bright ? " He asked with trembling voice. He felt safe knowing that the huge bird was near. He relaxed lightly his body, trying to bring back to normal his quick and anxious breath.
" Because if I am going to die, I want that it will be you bringing me to the Hell ... " He ended.


Laiia:

The ghost heard the doe's voice like it was coming from an huge distance... Maybe another dimension. Maybe he was already dead and unreachable. Nat ! he thought, but nothing came out from his cyanotic lips. He tried to move, but the pain was too much sharp. Balthamos opened the mouth one more time, and a long, bloodcurdling moan went out.
Is this my voice ?
siggy by Pegasicorn
Laiia's picture

Nat-Nat stopped. It seemed

Nat-Nat stopped. It seemed like she heard a strange song. Maybe a voice. She looked around. Maybe was it her voices, in her head ? No... It couldn't be. These voices were too present. The song she heard came from far away. So, she called again : Mos' ! Is it you ?!
She bited her lips, feeling bad, very bad, now. She turned around like an insane doe, then sniffed around her, trying to smell Balthamos. Balthamos, if it's you, tell it to me... She tried, desesperate and lost.

Avatar & signature by Shimmyshimmy. ♥
GuardianGhost's picture

Laiia: The doe was near, he

Laiia:

The doe was near, he could feel her in the air. He'd like to get up and run to her, but the body didn't obey to him. There was a desperate tone in her voice, and maybe it was her voice which gave him the strenght to try it again.
" Miss ... ! "
The quiet, almost imperceptible whisper get lost throught the graveyard's cold tombs.
siggy by Pegasicorn
Laiia's picture

Nat-Nat finally noticed it.

Nat-Nat finally noticed it. Balthamos body. Here, throught the graveyard's tombs, innocent. Why didn't she think to this place before ? Balthamos loved this cradle. She immediately ran to it. Balthamos... What happened ? Who dared ?! she asked, noticing Balthamos' wounds. His voice sounded pretty little. She felt some furious in her. If she found the one who did this to Balthamos... Though, she cleaned the fawn's wound, motherly, as best as she could.

Avatar & signature by Shimmyshimmy. ♥
GuardianGhost's picture

" Miss Nat-Nat ... " He said,

" Miss Nat-Nat ... "
He said, simply. The questions. The two questions made the ghost feeling more conscious and more desperate. But how, how to reply? How to find the will, the strenght...
" She ... Changed ... It was ... It is ... My fault ... Sorry ... "
He kept his eyes closed, even when the doe cleaned some of his wounds: that action was painful to Balthamos, but he tried to make his best not to show it. But she was here, and it was enough to reassure him.
siggy by Pegasicorn
Laiia's picture

Nat-Nat slightly growled.

Nat-Nat slightly growled. Hearing Balthamos' words was too hard for her. It isn't your fault, Balthamos. This brat will have to pay for what she did to you. I promise it. She will pay. She licked his head, then asked, again : How does she look like... ?
She knew Balthamos wouldn't tell her, but she asked, anyway. She knew what feeling it was... Being attacked, destroyed, by someone you loved, you cared for.

Avatar & signature by Shimmyshimmy. ♥
GuardianGhost's picture

" She ... Ariel ... is not a

" She ... Ariel ... is not a brat Miss ... She is a ... She is ... A ... Demon. "
The last word was the hardest that the ghost ever said. But only the thought of Nat-Nat facing Ariel, fighting with her, getting hurt like him, suffering like him... It was unacceptable.
" No Miss... No... Please... She is dangerous... I do not want you to meet her ! " He added, desperate.
siggy by Pegasicorn
Laiia's picture

Nat-Nat's ears picked up. A

Nat-Nat's ears picked up. A demon. A demon, like her.
I am very dangerous too, Balthamos. she just said. She looked at him. He was so hurted, so destroyed... The Ghost could feel the pain and the anger in her own body. She lick Balthamos' head. Ariel, mh... she said the name to remember it. She won't forget it, she knew it. Balthamos, I want you to stay safe, here, if I go to see Ariel. And if she comes to you... Ask for me. I'll be there. She looked around.

Avatar & signature by Shimmyshimmy. ♥
Kumiko's picture

He heard it all through the

He heard it all through the withered grapevines of the Forest. Heard rumors passed from stranger to stranger, friend to friend...Though as the grave news of Balthamos' deadly encounter reached the clothed-stag, his heart instantly dropped. Adrenaline rushed though Cypher as he ran. From the far end near the edge of the birch forest to the crumbling Ruins resting in the distance. Heart racing as he slowed his pace, the "cradle" and ghostly fawn came into view. Chest heaving while he approached the slumbering fawn. Wide, fearful eyes looking over the small creatures body. Examining the deep wounds and cuts beneath the fur.

"Dear Mos..." Cypher's voice was low. Soft in tone as he spoke, "Answer me...For the love of the gods, wake up!" Panic shook within his vocal cords as he dropped to the ground beside the cradle's side. Loosening his tie to prepare it as a bandage.
cicadia's picture

[sorry about yesterday.

[sorry about yesterday. ;_;]

Wicked child, plucking his heartstrings like that... He pressed in closer, positioned himself over him and draped his wings as to encase the ghostly fawn in feathers and body heat. The claws at his head slipped down, traced the lines of his neck, shoulders, and back until they came to the quills that jutted from his skin. They stopped there, unsure of what to do.

"Were smallthing to die...he would not take him to this hell, but keep him by his own side instead." Slight pain, as he pinched the quill, tested it. "But you will not...not die, darling thing. Not now, not from this, no..."
GuardianGhost's picture

Kumiko: Closed eyes. Only

Kumiko:

Closed eyes. Only the deep darkness around him, and nothing more. There was something reassuring in the darkness... It was not her. Cold. It was much colder than usual, like the tiny part of life that was used to animate the ghostly body was now leaving it. How much time passed? Balthamos couldn't tell it.
But then came a voice, a familiar one, from an huge distance.
" Who is there ... ? Is that you, Mr. Cypher ... ? "
He whispered, unsecure. Maybe it was just another allucination. But he had asked, he had actually asked to the Unnamed fawn to search for Cypher... Right? Where were him now, by the way? Trembling, he waited for an answer, without letting enter too much hope in his heart.


Cicadia:
(No problem c: )

The fawn heard the giant bird moving around him. Then, he felt some gentle feathers brushing on his cold body, tickling it lighly. The warmth radiating from the black creature relieved him greatly, allowing him to relax his tense muscles. The ghost followed mentally the long claw running on his back, which gave him some shivers.
" Not the Hell ... But by your own side, Mr. Bright ... "
He repeated, like it was somekind of ritual formula. As the creature touched the quill, Balthamos' eyes moved feverishly behind the eyelid, and he shut tightly the jaw.
" The pain ... Do you have power on the pain, Mighty Bright ? Could you ... Make it stop ? " He implored.
siggy by Pegasicorn
cicadia's picture

"No." The answer was quick,

"No." The answer was quick, but not cold. It was given in the form of a hot breath over the fawn's neck. "But he will find one, yea? He will...find one, find things to help..." Slowly, his touch began to recede.

"He will sleep now. The bird will not go far. Sleep. He will search, and return successful..."

Kumiko's picture

The voice was low; a silent

The voice was low; a silent whisper almost lost to the wind, but his ears were trained to catch such noises - the pleas and cries of ghosts. He heard them many times before when on during his years on the force. Cypher's ears twitched, straining to catch the words. The fawn seemed so close, yet so far away...

"Ssshhh..." the deep, rich hush trickled through his thin lips. Hushing distressed fawn in attempts to comfort him. "I am here, dear Mos...Right here. Follow my voice." All signs of the stag's calm charm had disappeared. Stripped of the his majestic image, Cypher stood nervously beside the cradle. Eyes wide with panic while he anxiously shook. He had witnessed many 'possessions' in his time; had been the 'hero' to expel the demon from the body, but now, he was a victim.

Watching as the small fawn laid motionless, lost within his own personal hell, tore the clothed-stag in half. He lowered himself, placing himself next to Balthamos as he lifted a foreleg over his small frame. Resting his head upon the fawn's back, "Come back to us, dear Mos. Come back to me..."
GuardianGhost's picture

Kumiko: It was him! He asked

Kumiko:

It was him! He asked about, and now he was here! His special, tortured soul was here: Cypher.
He actually attempted to follow his voice, and with the consciuosness came the physical pain as well. The poppy seeds that Bright Eyes gave him were still working against the pain, but kept making his thoughts slow.
" Mr. Cypher ... It is so nice having you here ... I am so sorry ... "
He whispered, still keeping the eyes closed. He felt something touching his back, near hers quills, which were still in his body. It wasn't an agressive thouch anyway, but kind and heartfelt. Maybe the white stag was worried because of him? This thought saddened the ghost.
" Mr. Cypher ... I am here ... I refused to go away ... I dreamt about a different world ... One without pain, Mr . I wish a world were the sun never goes down, and where there are neither living nor ghosts. Where I do not need to watch my back, and where I can hug everyone, simply with a single movement... But now ... Now my arms are too much short ... Too much short... "
He ended. Maybe it was the effect of the seeds, but the wods sounded sincere and less axious than before.
siggy by Pegasicorn
Kumiko's picture

(Sorry about disappearing

(Sorry about disappearing last night; something personal came up.)

The thin quills lined the fawn's back. Piercing through the fur and thin skin right into the muscles and fat lining the bones. Cypher cringed as the sight. Brows pulling together above his concerned eyes as he carefully hovered his foreleg over Balthamos. Trying to offer a comforting touch without disturbing the pin needles.

"You have no reason to apologize, dear Mos," he attempted to mask his worry with a forcing his voice to be firm. Trying desperately to be strong in the pair's moment of weakness. "Who did this...? What happened and what can be done to stop it?"
GuardianGhost's picture

Kumiko: The stag's touch was

Kumiko:

The stag's touch was comforting, and the ghost let out another huge sigh.
" If ... If you say so ... But it is my fault ... "
He said again, mortified. Cypher's voice sounded odd to him, and Balthamos was going to spent some nice words to make him feeling better, but the following questions anguished him. His reply was rambling and filled with fear.
" She ... She did it ... She is unstoppable. She came here to spread the sorrow ... And the pain ... Mr. Cypher ... Could you stop my pain ? Please ... It hurts so much ... "
Slipped out of his trembling mouth. He hoped that the white stag could actually help him.
siggy by Pegasicorn
Mis's picture

Aw? How come Balthamos is so

Aw? How come Balthamos is so uneasy about Gehirn and Herla? XD Or maybe just Gehirn, or.. I don't know. Also Hi!
GuardianGhost's picture

Hi you! c: Well, in general

Hi you! c:
Well, in general he feels uneasy with couples, and at the moment is super senstive because of the rain, which scares him greatly.
I'm sorry for the misunderstanding, it's hard to communicate feelings like this in the forest.
siggy by Pegasicorn
Mis's picture

Oh it wasn't a

Oh it wasn't a misunderstanding! I was just curious, he seemed okay with them before XD It's alright, he's welcome to sit with them! "Couple" or not, that has never been a problem for them..
GuardianGhost's picture

It's nice to hear that. He

It's nice to hear that.
He just tends to feel in the way during moments like this xD
siggy by Pegasicorn