Saved, yet again, by Zombies...
10 . 03 . 14
10 . 03 . 14
WILL THIS EVER BE UPDATED AGAIN?
Last update Rossamund was still dead ffs.
The first time.
Fuuuuck.
Little self-reminder/MOTIVATION to at least go and try to archive as many RPs as possible before Skype deletes them so I can actually remember what happened when I do get around to it.
STILL LOVE YOU, CRAZYBITCH. I'M SORRY.
least you get a bio tho
Doing everything in her power to keep her presence in the Forest lightly-felt and difficult to trace, but inevitably brought out of her seclusion on a few noteworthy occasions.
Reunited with Castallion when she first caught scent of the buck, glad to see he was in as great as shape as ever (and just as colorful in personality as appearance). Tended as much to Rossamund as she could, finding the boy needed counseling through an admittedly difficult chapter of his time in the forest. Tried to work with him on fighting in his ghost form and encountered a hostile June during one their sessions. Spoke with the Rabbit and attempted to diffuse a little of the ire she understandably felt for both of them, succeeding on a few small points she felt. Vowed to take advantage of what communication had been established to try to follow through on it in the future, and from that could only strongly advise Rossamund on how to handle interactions if he valued having a chance of a relationship with his "sister." (It seemed he had been stalking a few of her friends. No idea where he learned that kind of behavior...)
More than the "physical" however, being relegated to this form had the Myling contending with heavily emotional turmoil. Did her best to offer her support where she could through these dark times, not minding when he came to visit her and Indi although made it clear after an encounter with Rohit that he understood both children were to be protected at all costs. Didn't feel she had to say more than that, and Rossamund appeared uplifted by her mentioning that she considered him like family. Less enthused about received the title of Aunt, but it was neither the place nor time.
Speaking of confusing familial ties, had been making gradual progress in her relationship with Indi's son, still finding it imperative to get him on accepting terms with her before approaching Abhiri. Starting to consider it wise that Rohit learn to spar, as he's a quiet, serious little thing with a lot of pent-up energy, and she frankly thinks he could use the outlet. He'd (unfortunately) seen his first fight not too long ago, despite her and Indi's attempts to keep him out of it knows he saw far more than he should have. Attempted to egg him on a few times on a lazy evening at the Playground, under Indi's approval of course, and probably only succeeded in cementing her Weirdo image. Though was able to deadpan though her joy in causing him some adorable frustration in the process of trying to get him to wrestle.
Ended up laying off him finally, and he'd retreat back to his mother on the boulders glaring at her as if she was the single greatest source of evil on this planet. Joked with Indi a few times about how much he seemed to take after his mother and just kind of gets this look back that made her question if the Sangai also noticed a certain
other resemblance the children bore... maybe JM wasn't going crazy after all.
One of the most significant recent occurrences to memory was no doubt Rossamund's safe and eventual return to life, after a long and frustrating journey. Saw to it that he was fed and accompanied for the first few days of his recovery, incidentally using up each of the rabbits she had asked him to kill just days prior, when food hadn't been of interest to him but was to her for a project. Didn't find out how it had happened, not finding the timing right then and also not having seen much of the Myling since that week, though hearing whispers here and there of some of his exploits, for better or for worse.
Caught Rohit and Abhiri out running around one night without Indi's usual constant supervision and got just close enough to keep an eye on them without alerting them to her presence. Indi showed up in no time, so she relaxed and fell into her own thoughts as the family played. Completely caught off guard when the trio came and took Red Hill by storm in a confusing game of
Zombies, no doubt initiated by Rohit, and ended up getting involved in it whether she wanted to or not. Somehow had been promoted from "Evil Zombie" to "Zombie Hunter" in the little guy's eyes, which while it sounded like an improvement at the time, Jokerman quickly realized still made her the antagonist in the little game. Though she fought back, was quickly outnumbered, mobbed, and infected to his seeming delight before Abhiri tired out. Rohit still looked at her like she was nuts when she rubbed the trees afterward, in an attempt to get him to play a little more. Would have to try more drastic measures later, but for the time just took it in stride and settled near the group tentatively. Heart all but seized when the smallest of the trio wandered over and ended climbing onto her back and falling asleep there. A whole myriad of fears put to rest by seeming to get Abhiri's stamp of approval and Rohit's growing tolerance. Didn't say anything to Indi at the time but knows it meant as much to her, too.
Her time and visits with Indi had been occupying the majority of her mind in one way or another, either working during the day on small schemes and building contacts with deer relevant to those schemes, visiting the family in the evening or stealing moments alone with Indi during the night. Hadn't been sticking her nose into much else that was arguably not her business, at least not in any obvious way. And while things were definitely much improved from where they started, the last thing she wanted was to any way encroach on the Topaz's time with her recently reunited family, or to be perceived by an intruding force by either of them. Found Indi by the flower patch near the river alone tonight and gladly took the opportunity to spend some time with the mother.
It wasn't too long before they were being watched. Waited to see if the other (Indigo) would approach on his own, but aware that her own companion was a little less comfortable with the bird's approach (Player assumes Indi felt tacky being caught wearing the same name so embarrassing) and went to deal with it head-on, as was the Sangai's way. Watched this as well though eventually interfered just to make it clear to the newcomer they weren't going to be chasing him, giving him the chance to come closer if he wanted. Could remember every one of her run-ins with Morioch since returning to the Forest and they were intentionally few and far between, but had seen enough of his small bird companion to make a few conclusions about his presence. Knew it was likely that nothing more than simple curiosity that had spurred the visit, though there was a few other possibilities too.
With this thought, plopped herself on the ground, intending to see how the rest would play out. Laid her head on her forelegs and watched with half-lidded interest as she waited for him to either come closer or Morioch to show up, standing enthusiastically when the older male came by. Took the opportunity to observe his behavior and appearance, nothing more than a sniff to his small companion which caused a small stir of amusement in the Kudu as he took off again. Watched the littler one leave, regretting that she hadn't been able to exchange greetings but time enough for that later. Maybe. Whatever it was, it was still better than Xetkal, and she resumed her earlier stance that there was no need for her to get involved.
Aware as they settled back down that Indi was still tense. Assumed her own omniscient Jokerman way what it was about without even asking, leaned close and quietly launched into the best reassurances and promises she could give her friend. Was cut off with Indi's words of knowing, and complete trust in her, and that was enough. In a moment of intimacy responded with the only thing better than that that she could think of which brought the doe pressing closer, things instantly seeming a lot simpler and a lot more complicated in that action. Shut out the world and lingered in each other's companies for as long as possible before Indi had to return to the kids.
Left as well, figuring the twilight hours would be the best time to do this. Despite Rossamund having promised to replenish the rabbit supply, had taken it upon herself to kill, cure, and preserve a variety of small vermin carcasses over the weeks following his return. Gathered them now and went off to the Birch to speak to a contact she'd made there, wanting to pursue a little whim.
It's good to see you both.
...We'll have to do something about that maternally-instilled sense of virtue.
Keeping close at Indi's family's heels should the need for aid ever surface; apart from that, busying herself with other things.
Many visits from Rossamund, to her relief. The Myling was doing a good job of checking in and putting her mind at ease. Watching his appearance shift from avian to vulpine to, at times, something like his original form. Which is at once heart-rendingly gratifying and more than a little bit amusing when he couldn't seem to perfect the hue.
Helped him work on his coloration this afternoon, the process being long and consisting of much trial and error and doubtless lots of effort from the Ghost. Eventually he got it right and their efforts were rewarded. Definitely didn't fall into the pond at any point. Settled into a mood for a moment and took note of the little Ghost sneaking off. Equally curious of where he was going as she was what he would do off on his own, and opted to explore the latter today. Feigned slumber and waited. The thought process being "He can't get hurt... right?"
Wrong. The Myling came back a short while later and settled back next to her. Could sense something was off and kept her mouth shut, just eyed him thoughtfully. At last he started spilling. Questioned him on it a little bit about his participation in a fight, as much interested in his ability to be hurt as the source of his injury. It seemed to be another hallmark of him gaining aptitude in this form.
Joined by Ciel and Neela as well, greeted the pair somewhat briskly as Neela was being adorable and shy and what was Jo supposed to do with [i]that? Felt bad; she really needed to work on how she approach fawns, little girls in particular, but that thought was intermingled with the one that most kids start crying when she looks at them, and more lately have thought that she was going to eat their brains. Didn't want to do that to Ciel's family, and entertained other ideas, all of which consisted of staying seated for now.
Resumed talking with Rossamund, though noted his change in behavior with the pair's arrival. Found out about... something. Unsure. Ushered him a bit closer to Neela, perplexed at both their behaviors when she found out they were supposed to be friends. Also barked out some orders for any future 'incidents' with protecting others. Trying to work with him as it was evident the buck's code of honor was a part of him, and there was no use trying to pretend it couldn't get him hurt anymore.[/i]
...He has my ears.
Visited the Sangai's homeworld in projected vessels and succeeded in establishing her children's souls' connections with the Forest. Concluded the long and arduous 'adventure' and returned to the Forest approximately a month ago, where they immediately set about trying to find the youths, both unsure and nervous that it hadn't worked out after all, or knowing if they would be able to recognize either fawn. Eventually mother and children were happily reunited, though it was clear it would take time and effort for things to settle down. Understanding of this, backed off immediately so as not to make the transition any rougher, even though falling back into old habits of withdrawing was the last thing she wanted right now.
Has busied herself with relearning the Forest. The first order of business being to touch bases with Henna. Accepted her sister's scolding for her lengthy absence (with no way of contacting) and insisted on learning of recent news. All worse fears seemingly came to light. Heartbroken to hear of Rossamund's passing, all the anger she felt directed purely at herself and even saddened that she had put Henna in this place. Made a sort of peace with it a few weeks later, however. Found a way to keep in touch with the boy's spirit and has not given up on finding a proper conclusion to these events. Treasures his attempts to make contact with her and does everything she can to increase the frequency of his visits.
A few other small visits here and there with others. Sat with Ciel at one point and was grateful as ever for his presence in her life, however little their paths may cross. But for the most part, drifted through the Forest like a ghost. Embracing the solitude and spending much time seemingly wrapped up in her thoughts near the riverbed, hardly moving to acknowledge the glances from certain passers-by; wisened up to a few less-friendly individuals in this way, though hasn't acted on it yet. Uncertain if she will. Also been crashing at the Topaz's home when she wasn't there, for a change of scenery. Sentimental like that. Found by Israel one afternoon in her favorite spot, and filled in on his recent travels. Unsure of how to receive the buck now that he's older, and treading carefully but firmly. Intends to learn more about him in light of Indi's relationship with her adopted son.
Rarely sees the Sangai after helping her to reunite with Rohit and Abhiri. Missing Indi like crazy after the events of the past months, which was expected and only natural. Using the time wisely, making preparations. Beginning to take small steps towards encountering the trio and familiarizing them with her presence, particularly Rohit, who already has a negative impression of her. Reassured by Indi that the boy has always been the cautious type. More endeared than anything with being able to see so much of his mother in the fawn. Happy to have them all here, and Indi so obviously happy.
Thoughts and perceptions challenged, even more than she thought they would be, by the two perplexing, spirited little creatures now in both their lives. Trying to do her best to give the newly-reunited family time to adjust, but acutely aware of certain aspects that are incredibly familiar. Keeping these thoughts to herself for the time being as she really isn't sure what it all means, though muses on it a lot in her spare time. Already charmed by and devoted to the fawns in mind, it seems.
"What...? Are you talking
(new page)
"When we would find Eraline
(LOL yay! as Xet kills me again.)
"Well at least you agree, a
"If I'd promised to be your
( T_T )
"It's not about promising to
Jokerman didn't get it. She
"DON'T SLIP UP! This isn't a choice. Don't fail Eraline. I may make a piss poor friend, but if there is ever something you need, for Eraline's sake, don't pretend like you are alone. I will help you. So many deer, are here to help you. There are no excuses, Xetkal, do you hear me? "
Despite knowing what this was
"You stay away from Eraline", his tone drops, dark and full of agitation. "You are impossible. Putting on this facade, coming off as a big bi--- meanie, but you know what? You're not. You're the type of deer that holds everything inside then projects it through cruel, stinging words. I won't have it anymore. I'm not going to let you beat me down anymore, and I'm certainly not going to give you the chance to whiplash Eraline with this crap. Stay away". He thought he could see right through her at this point. "I wont let you verbally abuse me anymore!".
"Bitch. Say I'm a bitch. Why
"Back down, because I'm thinking if you can't even own up to something you've done in the past you definitely don't have the balls to make me to do anything!"
(Shoot, totally didn't see this till now. x_x I must have updated her bio and missed your 'new comment' alert thing. Sorrysorry.)
Oh how he wanted to call her
When the doe stomped closer he seemed unwavering, tensing and tightening muscles, locked in place. He wouldn't bow down to her, not anymore. He wasn't going to be weak... especially not for this one. "I already owned up to it. I know I messed up and I'm paying for it. Either way, if Eraline wants a failure that's her choice. I gave her a chance to find a better parent. Just keep in mind what I said. Go near Eraline, screw it up, go ahead... I'll be waiting".
(It's okay, it happens!)
(No subject)
^DENIED
"You better not say anything
When he didn't flinch away she just gave another, less intelligible growl and walked past him, aiming to shove her shoulder hard into his as she passed. "Shut your mouth before you prevent me from having any respect I could ever develop for you as her guardian. Unlike you, I hope you don't mess up again."
(LMFAO.)
"Because my mission in life
At her growl he just sighs, shaking his head. He wasn't going to even try and match her frustration. Though when the hind moved to walk passed him, he would slightly lose his balance as she threw her shoulder into his, which elicited a deep groan of dissatisfaction. "She doesn't need a guardian, I am all she needs". Xet would turn to face the passing doe now. "Don't doubt what I'm capable of. Just because I don't engage in fights where I have no idea whats going on doesn't mean I wouldn't stomp a deer for my daughter". Would he really? It was uncertain... perhaps he was only trying to intimidate the doe, or at the very least, be convincing enough. Should she have nothing to respond with the stag would take his leave in the opposite direction.
(crappy one-liner
"Jo, tell me...I need to know what happened between you and my father that day at the playground. What did you say to him?"
Given the day she's had, it
It had taken courage to even
"'Bad'?" The word is spoken
The word is spoken through gritted teeth, and Jokerman casts one surly glare in the direction of the stag's back before she returns her attention to Eraline in full. He hadn't said anything, so he must have done something. She clenches her jaw tight before forcing it to relax. She'd do anything for this kid, she was not going to sabotage what was probably her most important relationship. She was going to help her however she could.
"I told him he needed to honor his commitment to you as your father, and to face what he's done to you before, not defend it. That I wasn't going to be a problem for him if he did that, that lots of us were there to help you guys. I wasn't nice and friendly about it, so if there's something specific..."
She lets the thought trail off, eyeing the younger doe, she lowers her voice conspiratorially, softening it in a struggle for gentler phrasing. "Eraline, you can tell me what happened... please. I won't get angry, I just want to make this easier for you."
"It can't always be easy, Jo.
"This needs to stop, Jo. This animosity toward him for the things he did once. He is constantly second guessing himself. Constantly fighting the urge to run from me because 'he isn't good enough.' I have already forgiven him for the past - but it isn't enough anymore. My word isn't enough. And it's hurting him, knowing that the only people he surrounds himself with...have no faith in his abilities. It's hurting...us."
The green doe bites the inside of her lip, knowing she has already said too much, and turns her head to the water after a moment, her mind buzzing all too sweetly against what will soon be a crash. "I saw the way he shrunk from you. I don't know why but it had never been like that before that day at the playground. Jo...I do not want to be the one to come between my father's friendships. But I fear I've done that already, and I can't bear to know I am taking something from him. Something that was once so dear to him."
(Ugh, I'm sorry again,
"Xetkal doesn't trust me anymore. I don't blame him for it, and I can be civil, if that's what you want. I hope it helps, even. You need to know that I don't hate him for his one mistake, and what came of it was not your fault, and is not going to be completely in your control, so don't worry about it more than you have to. I was there that night. I stood with him when he watched you just like I did for you... I'm not judging his weakness, or you for loving him. I want to see a happy daughter with her father. I felt like he'd be great father. He probably is."
The red hued doe meets the adolescent's eyes as she says this, pushing aside, for the time being, any observations she makes as to Eraline's condition. Jokerman, too, is speaking with an unprecedented amount of clarity, although she certainly isn't sure of her place in this family or if she should even be speaking as if she is part of it. Certain things just aren't relevant right now.
"But he defends it. He acted like what he did was right. If after all this time he's been at your side, he's been thinking that his previous choice was...some virtuous sacrifice, it means he could do it again. How am I supposed to trust him after he did something you yourself admit he might do to you again tomorrow? Someone whose first instinct would be to--run and desert you, rather than seek help from any of us... I know, Eraline--you're very forgiving without sacrificing yourself or your dignity. You're a beautiful, tough little girl and I want to respect your choices, but my standards are so much higher for you here--if I or any of us can prevent that from happening to you guys again, we would. If I couldn't do that, I wouldn't know why I was here."
"Don't call me
"Don't call me Clementine."
ahahaha ._.
OMGfknlkgn. LMAO. OK. I'm
OK. I'm not saying her name IS Clementine, but if it was, she'd definitely be making that face.
...Seriously, Cassie, that's gorgeous. I hope you keep up this drawing thing you've been doing lately; just like what your writing, I love how you interpret characters.
*Got not only writing but also a picture from Cassie. B)*
There's a Jo behind a tree.
-pokes it-
I'm the deer with the orca pelt, zombie antlers and zombie mask. |D
ROFL omg. I'm so glad to see
Heh, sorry if JM was doing something funny a minute ago--it's always disconcerting when you look at your forest and your deer's just standing there. xD
-munches on Jo- This'd be my
This'd be my OOC. ^^ /no will to play characters currently T_T
I FINALLY MET JO. \o/
And fff, lol. She has a mind of her own. |D
Ugh, I can understand that.
LOL Jo is just confused by all these friendly deer right now. This is so nice though.
Awww. ;; Quill just fell to
Confused?
TIME TO SIT ON HER.
Dog piiiiiile.
C<
I love just hanging around with people. x'D
LMFAOOOO.
Mask time too. I think I just
I think I just found my new favorite deer to prank.
Kekeke.
I sense many peacockings for many people in the future.
ROFL. Yeah, JM kind of lives
There is little she wants to
There, she retreats, resigns herself to adulthood - and yet somehow remains little under Jokerman's cool and logical magnificence. It's easier this way, for now at least, and there need not be words for it.
The big picture over details.
Eraline has a big enough heart for everyone; Jokerman doesn't know how she does it, when some days she doubts if hers is big enough for one person.
Let alone a family. Eraline's family, and her family, to some extent. She's loathe to count herself among them, always has been, but she can't deny she understands so well Eraline's desire to protect a fawn, of all things, from harm. If she thought about it, it was commendable for Era to put so much effort into protecting children when she was practically one herself, but she couldn't think about it that way. There was only the anger, the nagging fear that Eraline was so willing to sacrifice herself for those she loves, that she might lose her to it.
But that was standard warning for why you shouldn't be so close to something so important, and Jokerman knew she'd accepted that risk long ago. The fact is that Eraline isn't a child anymore. And so she lets go, a little more, as she does with Henna; it isn't trust, yet, but the confidence that things will work out in their own way. The realigning of priorities. Keeping her leg still beneath her charge's chin, Jo turns into the tree trunk beside her and leans forward until her head rests firmly atop Era's shoulder, and contemplates a fresh scar there.
Track~ Gorgeous css in here.
When everything had settled,
But she had her chance now, to say what needed to be said. Even if there were things she felt like she could yell at Jo for, but she missed her friend too much. Besides, she knew that she was the one who had done wrong...not Jo. She couldn't do any wrong, her intentions were always clear and noble. And Henna was beginning to wonder if Era would be better off under Jo's careful guide instead, that maybe she should step out of the picture. Let Jo take the lead alone and she'd watch from a distance, ready to be there if she was needed.
"I'm sorry. I'm not proud of the things I do sometimes, I'm not like you..always so controlled. I try to be, believe me. I wish I was more like you."
( you can reply to this whenever you want, no rush~ )
adorable art by Tuoho! ♥
Petite - gfbfgbjl thank
JD -
Jokerman was on edge from the beginning. Before the stranger, before Darcy and Reed and others threatening at their safety, there was Henna, hesitant to approach her. It had hurt her worse than she'd thought possible even though she was so angry and there was nothing she could think of to say to make things any better at all. So she says nothing for a long time, possibly forever, hoping it's enough that she's just managed to somehow get Henna to sit with her at the stupid tree. She's surprised, maybe even impressed, when Henna finds it in herself to talk. The sound of her friend--one of many jumbled thoughts in her brain right now was that Henna would always be her friend--speaking to her, at last, causes her to jump, and the things she says promptly makes her feel like it was into a pit of quicksand.
"I'm not controlled, Henna. I'm just scared to death that something I do is going to cause me to lose you or Era." It used to be that that confession alone--having priorities--having everything hinge on just a few--would have been enough to shame Jokerman. But it wasn't what she'd regret now. Instead she was wondering why she could hold her temper around deer twice her size if she thought it'd keep Eraline or Henna safe, but she couldn't hold it around Henna when the risk was the same. She should have... what should she have done? Goddamn, she was so bad at this family stuff. "And I nearly did that just now. Again. So I'm no prouder of what I've done. You don't seem to be angry at me, but I'd deserve it... at the very least, you don't have to apologize to me." She couldn't speak to Henna so she let her head fall to the ground instead, throwing herself into the dirt with conviction, defeated before she even began. She didn't know what to say, just knew that she'd seen Henna hang back all day today, quiet, hesitant, and watchful, and she didn't want to be mad at her friend anymore.
"How do you do it? Don't you ever get mad at me?"
(OR I COULD MAKE A REALLY RAMBLY POST WITH MY NORMAL SIZED FONT+ITALICS LATER THE SAME NIGHT sob)
( FFFFF you're craaazy!!
Henna frowned, hearing her friend reply followed by the scraping sounds of dirt as Jokerman rested her head. Henna's ears twitched and the urge to look at Jo was nearly too strong to resist but she still couldn't do it, not yet. She sighed and shook her head, "More controlled than I ever will be...when it comes to you and Era, I forget myself - I forget logic and common sense." she murmured. She leaned against the tree then, putting all her weight into it as if it was the only thing keeping her from falling onto the ground in defeat as well.
"I was mad at you... but it's not worth it, I've almost lost you once and I don't think I could live with myself if it happened again." she replied, her eyes finding something to look at in the distance, nothing in particular...just a shape, anything to keep her gaze else where. Her voice lowered then, barely any louder than a whisper. "I am sorry. I still have a lot to learn from you, Jo." And it was true, Henna held so much admiration and respect for her friend, her sister that, like now, she felt as if she was the young one along side Eraline. She felt so naive and reckless beneath Jo's stare and it was frustrating.
adorable art by Tuoho! ♥
"You forget to take a step
"I have a lot to learn from you too. All I can teach you is how important you are to us, how much sway you have... if something involves you, it involves me... and it involves Era, though I wish it didn't, the truth is she listens to us far more than I would expect a kid her age to. I hope the day never comes where we accidentally force her to do something that we really don't want her to do." Jo wasn't sure when she had shut her eyelids exactly but when she finally opened them they still felt heavy, and she focused dully on Eraline and Phaios sitting at the next tree, holding her breath. Unsure what else to say. And, please, yell at me some time?
She was finally begining to
Henna sighed quietly with a subtle nod, "I agree." she said softly. And then she was silent but only momentarily as she turned her head around the base of the tree, nose pointed as much as it could in Jo's direction. "I promise I will try harder to be..better at this, for you and especially Eraline. And I trust you will help keep me in line if I start to stray.." She finally looked up at Jokerman with some difficulty. Her eyes wandering the points and curves of the other's mask, always so stoic and bare - she wondered what her true expression was right now. Was she just as relieved? Was there any lingering disappointment behind those dark holes? Skepticism, perhaps? Henna didn't really want to know, she could only hope things would get better.
adorable art by Tuoho! ♥
(No subject)
Tracking and also, do you
(omg jd i'm so sorry i
YES! My msn is gray.brit (at) hotmail.com, add away! Let me know when you've added because of MSN weirdness... ♥ excited now. won't be on much today sadly though
AND THANK YOU for tracking and bumping one of my less hideous bios >>
Added, and might I just say
You're welcome. XD
Edit: Also feeling more stupid for not adding my own e-mail here - kagome_sacred(at)hotmail(dot)ca
♥ so happy to have her
so happy to have her around again. ; u ;
adorable art by Tuoho! ♥
I'm so glad to have her back
best bitch. ♥
adorable art by Tuoho! ♥
I really like Jokerman, even
Okami - That's how I feel
Someone likes you, Jo!
retrack~
PFFFF Brit ;u;
whyaminottrackingthisyet