In real life, not on TEF xD

I live out in an area where the nearest town is about ten miles away or whatever. So it's pretty isolated and there's not much out here to scare off the wildlife.

Anyways, it was really foggy and I was trying to get into town to pick up some treats for tonight, since I'm focusing on a cosplay and need the sugar to keep me awake, and about a couple minutes into my drive, I saw one doe cross in front of me and head into the field. She was absolutely beautiful (and smarter than most deer, since a lot of them just stand in the road and you have to wait forever for them to move), but I think she may be the one I saw crossing the street with her fawn earlier (sometime in the late summer).

Anyways, there's my topic for the night!

Not directed at anyone, obviously! Just, I need to put the pen to paper, so to speak.

Really, this is for me. Nobody else has to view this, nobody has to comment (though I won't PREVENT them, I'm just typing this for myself).

So one thing about myself that I really consider a bit...challenging...is the fact that I'm transgender. FtM, binding, short hair, all that jazz. Won't get too into that.

Anyways, there's one thing that, each month, really messes with me. Emotionally and mentally. One of the symptoms? Cramps. And I'll be the first to say: they are BAD. Seriously the worst things in the world. On a scale of 1-10 in pain, it'd be at least 7, if not more most of the time. But today? They were the WORST I've ever experienced. As if low self esteem, struggling with dysphoria, and shame wasn't enough. Now I have plenty of physical pain that practically makes me incapable of walking, let alone anything else.

Best part is? I know it'll get worse. That saying, you know, the one where they say "it gets worse before it gets better"? Yeah, it applies here. Tomorrow's going to be fun. Even more so because I have to DRIVE to the college, sit through a 1 hour 45 minute class that isn't purely lecture, but I have to PARTICIPATE, and then drive the 20 minute way back. Overall? I'll be an emotional wreck by morning, not that I'm not already-- the agony is so great I can barely move, and I burst into tears more than not.

Anyways. That probably helped me a little. Just a little, but every part counts, I suppose.

If it wasn't so late, I'd derp around as a deer. But I need rest (not that I'll be able to sleep ) because tomorrow is a full day of agony and emotional roller coasters.

So, let me begin by saying it's really nice to meet all of you!

Anyways, here's a cool little origin story to introduce myself. I recently joined, (AKA: yesterday), and at first, I must admit I was hesitant. I usually don't go for multiplayer-type games, and at the time of seeing this gem, did not understand the full concept involved. I was surfing the web just looking for any possible games similar in some way to an old game I adored, WolfQuest, that has, sadly, seemed to slowly chip away into nothing. After a while of searching, I came upon TEF. The graphics, from what I saw at first, looked absolutely intriguing. Though the faces of the deer were, admittedly, a bit odd to me at the time, I overlooked it in order to test out the gameplay. Lo and behold, however, my poor laptop is definitely not up to requirements! However, at this point in time, the gameplay and ideals of the experience had caught me enough that I jumped on our higher-powered desktop to find out just what this game had in store!

I began with testing it out, making sure it ran smoothly on the desktop (it was definitely fine), then, curious about just what the multiplayer might hold, I signed up. I thought it'd be one of those stereotypical multiplayer MMORPGs that used a chat-based system where often trolls would pop up and annoy everyone around. Much to my surprise, I found no such chat. Instead, I found plenty of little fawns and stags prancing around in the wild, interacting with a language I had yet to learn (and still only vaguely understand after a couple hours of gameplay). Well, I was hooked, to say the least! I wanted to learn about these new friends-- or perhaps uneasy allies, even-- and learn their strange ways. After a bit of fiddling with the controls, I found myself in play-fighting matches between other fawns, curious sniffing of the larger, much more unique adults, and even prancing around, merely watching what the others did and slowly learning.