(i'm feeling 'ok' now, so don't mind this entry...)

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I...I thought I was in the clear..my moods normally stabalize after my period starts...but I...I fell into a fit of depression after my boyfriend left MSN...(he lives in brazil...no way to get to him...)...I tried to call him...even though I was scared to death that he'd be angry....b..but....his cell phone is recharging...I can't get through...

I'm crying my eyes out...I'm...I'm scared I'll do something I shouldn't...I'm really scared...I need help...please...I need to cheer up...I need someone...anyone...

I'm all alone here >_<;........

(i'm sorry if i'm scaring anyone...but i have no one else to ask for help from...i...i just need help...to feel better...i need to stop crying...)

It's 2:27 AM...I have no one else to turn to >_<;..........

I need someone to talk to....I feel really alone.............

Why doesn't anyone care >_<;.......

If you don't like reading about fictional death or cruelty (it's honestly not that detailed, but i did write that some things died, and one caused them death. no blood or anything), then don't read. But it's really not that bad.




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The idol's tears poured out eternally, into a stream of shimmering bliss and sadness. Anzel dipped her head to the water and took a sip. The warmth pelted her fur with a sensation of lethargy.

[/i]"I suppose a nap would't hurt. Do you think it would, old chap?" Anzel giggled to herself, staring at the Crying Idol. The fountain poured more and more. "I'll take that as a yes."

With a soft smile, Anzel layed down in the posies, the dew wetting her pelt, the tears splashing her ears. Her head settled upon the warmth of her pelt, and she sank down into a world of dreams...

Or so she thought...

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[i]The flames.

They licked the cave like demon's breath, seeping in and smothering all with a smoke so tenderly vicious, so chokingly vile, that waking was despised, yet desired.

The wolves, coats black as night, flickering of the tendrils of flames that bestowed light upon them, ran. Footsteps fleeing out of the deathtrap that was the cave, they found themselves encircled by a wall of fire. Eyes glowed like nightmares, but not nightmares of children.

They were nightmares of wolves.

Higher, higher still, the blaze climbed up trees, ripping leaves from their branches, kissing them a permanent good night. Yips, cries, chaos, the wolves frenzied.

"Golden Light!" screamed a masculine voice, the alpha. His eyes were filled with terror for solely his pack, not for his own singed pelt. "Watch out!" [i]his screams were unheard, for the demons breathed louder, every breath heavy and full of childish, sinful delight.

(since not a single person replied to my last diary entry ;-;...i was really sad, but nobody cared)

I'm going through some personal troubles, so if I seem angry or sad, it's because of that. If you've seen my topic in the Life forum, you know -one- of them.

Good news is that...if I clean my room this weekend, and I save up my allowance for a month...

My dad is going to pay half of what I need to get a Video Card for my computer.

Thanks to Path to Home on the forums, I was able to troubleshoot my general problems.

1. I need a good video card
2. My computer's age (not too big of a problem, it's only 3 or 4 years old)

Now, this weekend I'm going to do some computer surgery to find out what video card slot thing I have, and Path will help me with the rest. In a month, it's possible that I'll be able to play the game...like everyone else!...

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The bad news: It's summer. The temperature is causing my computer to overheat easily, so I'm not going to be able to even open TEF much. I just tried a second ago, and my computer is still humming and purring.

I won't leave the community, unless people don't want me around...*hides*

Anzel is going to miss the forest dreadfully, even if she never saw deer there. ;-;

Anzel is depressed today.

Her human is nearing her days of red lune. Poor human.



Anzel feels lonely.

Anzel is a waterfall mistress.

Anzel has discovered a Posirian Flutterbee. (bottom right corner)

For the first time in two days, I was able to get a few pictos to spread.

True, they're mainly my own (lol), but I can also see the Crybaby picto (my nickname for a picto i often load)...

If you see me, tell me :3

Events for today:

I fell asleep, and...entered the Spirit Realm. Oddly, two sleeping deer randomly flashed on the screen, up near the top, and they moved around...I woke up, and the pictos (some) had spread.

I ran over to one picto I recognized as being one I've seen before. I don't know who it is, but I call them Crybaby (they could be a deerless picto like Hangman, who knows?)...this time, Crybaby was a fawn.

(by the way, i fell asleep again and the fawn awoke, so...i'm curious, anyone know who the fawn was that i was sleeping by?)

(i see them on the live map! theyy're called disdain...that's all i know)



Then, I ran off to the Ruins, and found 3 deer (one nameless, one clone, one with a picto). I recognized one (not who they were, just their picto), and took a screenie. Yet again, I'm not sure if this deer exists or if they're like Hangman.



Anyways, I ran off to rest by Crybaby (cute little fawn, hehe), and saw another picto (top left corner)...went near, and...I saw it behind the Ruins thing...it was in the point of origin. Joyous.

Oh yes, and the picto in the top right corner is the picto of the picto cluster that I normally see that stood out when I neared the Ruins.



I really wish I could destroy this glitch <<; I figured out a way to get a new computer, but it will NEVER happen...

If I could get my parents to stop smoking for a month or two, we could probably save up enough money for a new computer...

They're chainsmokers...*sighs*...it will never happen...

Okay...as you know, I can't receive spelldata from anyone else by traditional means (you can ask anyone who has somehow seen me in the forest...casted spells won't work on me because i can't see them, and vice-versa)...

Would anyone be willing to make up a spell data file that they could send me? I know what antlers/pelts/masks I want most...

I -do- have a spell data file, but it lacks a few pelts/antlers I want (magpie pelt and dragon antlers...)...

If anyone's willing to help me out, tell me...if nobody is, I won't bother posting a list of the ones I want.

Don't think I'm cheating, I'd get the spells a normal way if it was possible ;-;

*hides*

I see a few pictos, mostly clones, but something must be agreeing with my game...because I saw a deer on the rocks move to another area (i left them, and then found them again in a different area)

Right now, I'm bored and dancing with a random deer.

EDIT: AWWWWWW....;_; I minimized TEF by accident...*feels sad*

But, I saw SarieBarie in the forest by the pond.

EDIT 2: *anzel giggles* I found a -real- ghost deer (a phase 2 deer). But, alas...at the moment, I've only been able to get 2 deer total to show...and neither have pictos ;-;

Anzel is being a bad deer.

Hehehehehehehehehehe...

If you see her, then yes, I did sneeze her key antlers off, and now she has a real deer mask. It's only temporary. Oh, and can you tell me if -you- can see my pelt? If not, then that's what I figured, heh.

*evil grin* ^^; I wanna post screenies, but I'm not sure if I'm allowed to show screenies of everything I'm glitching up...(i don't wanna get in trouble or anything o.o; )

Me: *pokes anzel's head* Why are you tempting my curiosity?

Anzel: Because you -know- you -want- to...! Come on! You LOVE to glitch!

Me: Bad Anzel ;P

Anzel: Hey people! Look at MEEE!



Me: *rolls eyes*

Anzel: Oh, and...I is a goat?



Me: *sweatdrop* Sluggs, you're a bad influence on me, you peak my curiosity and...yeah :3 *runs off to experiment*

I've nothing to do but experiment, heh.

Pictos spread, I go 'omg' because I see TONS of them...I see Esll's picto, I go 'YAY'...

I want to get to them fast...try to leap over the pond...and...and...

I FELL IN.

-_-

*puts set back on and grumbles*

I beg that I'm able to get the pictos to spread again <<; I even saw Sluggs' picto.