Love.

---

How I crave its luring scent. The way it strokes my heart strings and tempts my lips to smile. Knowledge of the feeling of love makes me forget about reality.

But I know that love is something I will never be allowed to have. My curse brings with it the fear of being a burden. I cannot allow myself to be loved. It will only bring them suffering.

So why does my heart still flutter at the sound of his name, and the sight of his set...?

---

How I loathe its putrid scent. The way it slices my heart strings and takes away my smile. Knowledge of reality makes me forget about the feeling of love.

And I know that love is something I can never allow myself to have. My taint brings with it the fear of losing myself. I cannot allow myself to love another. It will only bring me ignorance.

So why does my heart still beat despite my truest of taint, is it because of the flower fae...?

And so I decide
With a rose and a doubt
To give up all hope
And to throw myself out

And so I collide
All in all gone for good
That my heart shall depart
Where my crush, he once stood

Chismeree, Chismerah
I feel left, I feel right
I must be long forgotten...
Crushed, my heart says good night.

---

;-; It's a bit cryptic, but...basically, Anzel is going to try and give up her crush on you-know-who...her low self-esteem has assured her that he never liked her anyways.

Slow-walking eternally. I swear. I love playing Nurra. She's so adorable and sweet and cute.

But my fingers are falling asleep. SLOW-WALKING IS EVIL. ;_;

x3

I feel a slight torn as I depart, wings heavy with choked words. My hands, grasping at the breath that may have once been taken in by her, but always fanning them away without a simple allowance.

I feel my form of the darkest brown bat, faded grey...fading as my hairs. Slowly I return to my form of the tan male deer creature, antlers heavy with pumping blood, front hooves aching to be connected with the back once more.

I begin to run.

And though this forest is eternal, I needn't worry about running into fae creature once again; for my wings, my pulse, all seperate from me as I run...and yet, they connect.

The blood running through my veins feels fresher, more alive, but more afraid. And I cannot stop to wonder as to why I can never be the stag in the eyes of another...because I already know I am a half-breed, neither vampire nor deer...

And I am a ghost. Plain and simple.

And so, with haste...

I feed.

Can anyone see me in the forest at -all-? I can't really ask anyone anywhere else :/ Please let me know ;-;

Emiva the doe
Cladden in the wooden brown
Mahogany heart

Dusting over smooth
For a life can change so soon
Must the eye adapt

Tranceless walking fore
Steps will syncronize her way
Follow with desire

Gentle meant the fae
Guiding us and guiding all
To a better day

---

Nope, they don't make any sense really...I just let my index fingers tap the letters out randomly :3

A plainly fae wanders in, with purple floras dangling from each antler. She is smiling softly, sadly, as though she is hiding something. Her eyes glance around at the wooded terrain around her.

Clearing here throat, she speaks, "Hello, is anyone there?...it's Anzel."

(rated DM for drama)

---

Delicacies of the life
Harsh travesties known to death
See me, my ways...are of strife
Force me to breathe everbreath

Daylilies bloom, wilt, and die
Why can this not be my way?
No matter how much I will cry
I will never have the last say

Buzzing of bugs, fluster of trees
Songs of the birds o'er my head
Every day brings more desperate pleas
Every day notches lesser of dead

---

I have remained unseen within the forest realms for many a day, at least...to them. I have seen them, but my troddings have gone unnoticed.

Every day, I fade a little further away, a little further towards the joys of pessimism...

There is no light in my life anymore.

---

(i got firefox, and now i have to put the coding around every separate paragraph...and it's driving me insane)

Aren't mood swings fun?

SO VERY FUN INDEED, YESH THEY ARE.

I'm so angry right now. I want to destroy the world with my mighty fists of fistiness. RAHAHAHAHA.

And I want to destroy this stupid person who is killing their cats by being stupid. Neutering an old male cat WON'T KILL THEM. You shouldn't own cats. GIVE ME YOUR CATS. Stop being so ignorant. Flea bomb your house, or give your cats and remaining kitten away before they, too, die. The shelter won't kill them, YOU will. GAH.

x3

Hehehe. Mwahaha. Mood swings are fun, no? *faints*

(rated DM for drama/possible drama/whatever)

---

Tainted by the middlenight, I sit and wait in the silence that is the bird twitterings aloft.

The eyes peer down on me, despite the clouds covering up what little there is of the sky in this pathetic world that I live in. I digress.

The leaf nibbles are pointless in my never-hungering stomach, acidic and never-changing, ever-rumbling in another world afar from my perceptions of this truest time I do know not. As the final bell springs forward and my heart lurches, I know that I must and I musn't go on in this future afar ahead of me. But the blades of grass twinkle in the everlasting light that is poured upon me, down and down upon my umbrella of curse that prevents me from entering the true realm which I cherish and remember with softly broken white memories that never existed in the first place; and I rest, now here forever in eternity and beyond.

For the wind.

For the denial.

Four and four, the months go on and symphonic chatterings string around my ears and 'tennae like twitterings of lonely sane doves of the other forgotten forest of which I do not roam; the realm, the broken dreams of withering lives and fading promises, and hearts flowing into streams of everlasting life and death for which I am everly grateful and hating of...and on.

Twisting me forever towards the tainted blood of my youthful blissèd cheer and withered thoughts beknownst; I stand here.

White womb; claim me.