This deer remembers nothing of his human life except his own death and the death of his friends, whose names and faces he has also forgotten. Now his best friends are the nameless graves in the cemetery. Saater often wanders near them. But sometimes he gets distracted from his melancholy and plays with the other inhabitants of the forest.

I WISH I COULD'VE SAID GOODBYE... I WISH I COULD HAVE DONE MORE,
JENNIFER IS HURT, AND HIDING IN THE FOREST'S UNTOUCHED SPACES THAT I'LL NEVER SEE, FAR FROM THE GLITZ AND GLAMOUR OF THE SECOND DECADE'S GOLDEN TOUCH, THE PLACE SHE AND I COULD NEVER REACH QUITE JUST ENOUGH.....

THE SPIDER STILL FEEDS OFF THE REMAINS OF A FALLEN CATHEDRAL, LINED WITH FAR TOO MANY GRAVES WITH THE NAMES DEGRADED OVER TIME,
THE SPIDER DOESN'T CARE TO RENEW, FOR HE MOST LIKELY DREAMS OF MORE TO DECORATE.

I LOOK AT THE STATUES WITH MY FACE HOT WITH ANGER, MY TEARS RAIN DOWN MY CHEEKS LIKE BOILING WATER.
I'D GIVE ANYTHING JUST TO SAY GOODBYE TO JENNIFER AND TO MEET THE LOVE OF HER LIFE...
IF ONLY THE SPIDER KNEW THE TRUE LOVE YOU SHARED.

IF ONLY HE DIDN'T DESIRE YOU MARRY A MAN AND HAVE MILLIONS OF LADYBUGS SHARE YOUR SAME FACES AND DEVOUR MORE OF THE LAND THAT BE.
HE DOES NOT CARE WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU, NOR I, JENNIFER. BUT I'LL MISS YOU.

I WILL BE IN SEARCH THROUGH THE RUINS FOR OUR PICTURES WE TOOK TOGETHER OF ALL THE PARTYS IN THE HOTEL LOBBIES WE TOOK... THE PICTURES IN TIMES SQUARE WITH THE KODAK...

I MISS JENNIFER... I SEARCHED THE WHOLE FOREST, WONDERING WHERE SHE COULD'VE GONE, BUT I WENT JUST IN CIRCLES, SHE COULDN'T HAVE GONE, UNLESS UNDERGROUND, UNLESS IN THE AIR, I'M WRITING LETTERS, BEGGING TO THE GODS THAT LAY BEFORE ME WITH THEIR TWO STATUES, NOW LOOKING MORE AND MORE CHIPPED WITH THE DECADE AND A HALF, THEY MAKE HOMES FOR ISPODS AND NOW A STARVING SPIDER, LONGING FOR THE CHANCE TO DRAIN EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THEM, INVADING THEIR CONTROL OF WHERE THEY CAN GO, PLANNING TO MAKE EVERY LITTLE ONE OF THEM, A SPIDER LIKE HIM....

HE TOLD THE ISOPODS THAT THE TWIN GODS ARE HIS SOLE MOTIVATOR, HIS STARVATION IS PURELY FICTICIOUS, I'VE SEEN HIM FEAST ON OTHER SPIDERS, THOUGH HE CLAIMED HE NEVER HAD.
HE WISHES TO BE THE ISOPODS, HE ENVIES THEIR POWER, THE WAY THEY CLIMB, DEVOUR ALL THE DECAY HE LEFT
BEHIND, TAKING ALL HE SPANNED OUT FOR MILES AND MILES THAT REPEAT, OVERLAP, AND BECOME THE SAME PATCHES OF GRASS THAT MAKE UP THE ENDLESS CYCLE THAT IS HIS BRUTALITY.

THE TWIN GODS DO NOTHING...

I WAS ON A TRIP THROUGH THIS WACKY FOREST, IN SEARCH FOR MY BELOVED SWEET LADY JENNIFER BUT SHE'S NOWHERE, NOT EVEN HAVING THE BEST NIGHT OF HER LIFE IN THE LOG WITH THE OTHER BUGS, SHE USED TO BE A WILD GAL, CRAZY GIRL, BUT NOW SHE'S GONE OFF THE RAILS, OFF THE GRID.
SHE WANTED TO BE A COUNTRY GIRL... BUT I NEVER BELIEVED SHE'D LEAVE LIKE THAT. THAT'S TOUGH.



I WENT IN SEARCH AND MET THIS WILD LOOKING GUY WITH ONE EYE AND A MASSIVE FIGURE. HE TOLD ME TO CHECK BACK INTO MY LOCAL FOREST COMMUNE, SCREAM IT OUT, NEWSPAPERS, MISSING POSTERS, SITTING ONTOP OF GRANNYS COASTERS.
SO I WAS SETTING LETTERS AND MET THIS LADY CALLED "PRETTY WOMANS FROM YOUR CITY TONIGHT."
NOW THATS ONE FREAKY TITLE, ALARMING EVEN. I WAS DISTRAUGHT AND BEGGED FOR HER TO HEAR MY PLEAS FOR HELP, JENNIFER KNEW THOSE KINDS OF GALS, SHE WAS A LADY LOVING LADYBUG, SUPER COOL AND FANCY. SHE EVEN LOOKED LIKE JENNIFERS TYPE, WE KEPT SPEAKING ON A TELEGRAPH, BUT THIS LADY DIDN'T SEEM TO LISTEN TO MY CRIES, ALL SHE CARED ABOUT WAS THE REAL NASTY STUFF< THAT FREAKY STUFF, BUT MY TIME WAS LIMITED.
I BEGGED FOR HELP IF SHE KNEW WHERE ACROSS THE PLANET MY FRIEND JENNIFER HAD GONE, TO GO ONTO THE PLANE WITH ME, TO BOOK THE HOTEL, SHE COULD BRING HER GIRLFRIENDS, BUT THIS LADY FREAKED ME OUT A BIT.

TURNS OUT SHE NEEDED 50 GRAND TO HELP VISIT ME TO THE AIRPORT, I SAT THERE WAITING AFTER PAYING HER MOST MY SAVINGS MEANT FOR FINDING JENNIFER. I WAS GONNA PAY THAT FOR JENNIFERS MEDICAL ASSISTENCE, OH JENNIFER. I"M SO SORRY JENNIFER, I KNOW YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE FINE BUT GAL YOU"LL GET YOURSELF CAUGHT IN A FAN.

THIS FREAKY LADY LIED TO ME, SHE GHOSTED ME BEFORE EVEN HALLOWEEN SEASON, LEFT INTO THE AIR, STOLE MY CASH AND NOW SHE"S OFF.
...I"M DOOMED. I STILL DON"T KNOW WHERE JENNIFER IS.... DONT TRUST THOSE LADIES IN YOUR CITY, THEY"LL LIE TO YOU AND BE SUPER NASTY.

JENNIFER... MY BUG... SHE'S MISSING..........
THAT'S NOT DALE, THAT'S ROWDY, I'M IN NEED OF A HOTEL CHURCH BELL DEVINE INTERVENTION.....



JENNIFER COME BACK!!

dance! dance when no one else will!



dance for the eternal stones! dance for their wisdom!

hard lines are my favorite. affronts to nature. how BOLD!

Her eyes swam with confusion, lost in a golden haze of strange symbols and unfamiliar sights, while her nose stung from even stranger smells, her sense of being had been displaced and her mind raced to cling to memories from where she had just been expelled.


My soul. Her consciousness reached for her chest, and her body moved to accommodate once familiar movements, but her now furred knee graced only soft fur where once had been, had ALWAYS been her soul stone.


While her body suddenly ached with a grieving sense of loss, it was also swept away upon her eyes nestling on a golden symbol floating above her, replaced only with confusion at her innate understanding that what she gazed upon was her, her in her entirety, much like her coloured gem that had nestled upon her chest. It was the ever present reflection of herself, her indication, her name, her being.


My soul? But why, why had it shifted? Was she dead? Her head swam as she tried to remember, tried to understand what was happening. No. She could not die, her body would simply be reclaimed by the mother, the moon, to dot the skies as stars in her loving embrace, until she was yet again ready to grace the gifted plane of Astraea with her kin, as a fallen star under the watch of her father the sun.

Astraea. Oh by the three, their mothers rage had warped the realm, punishing her kin -her fathers favoured- for their arrogance.

Fire, she remembered fire, warmth as the juveniles and even elders of the fathers favoured wrecked havoc upon the three's elements.

Nerea; their once clear and pure waters polluted with ash and debris.
Ciel; their guiding winds clouded with smoke and haze.
And Aurelia; the most suffering of all for the fathers favoured antics, their earth burnt, sullied, defiled with flames, cinders and embers.

I was looking over my old blog posts, and I did not like what I saw.

I deleted over 2 pages of stupid blog entries I made that just accelerated the drama that I claimed that I hated.

Granted, it was a long time ago, but it still made me cringe so bad I didn't read most of them, just deleted them. Because nowadays, that's not what I'm about.

For those who knew me back then, please understand that at the time I was living in an household that was not nurturing, or kind, or promoting good mental health, and that's putting it very, very mildly.

To put it bluntly, I was abused for over sixteen years. Even though I went online to try to escape my reality, unfortunately I was not strong enough to keep it from haunting me and it caused my mental and physical health to deteriorate and I became a bitter, angry, vengeful person. I realized that after I finally escaped from the hell I lived in, a little over six years ago. Anyone who wants to know more can inquire, time is mostly healing those wounds and it doesn't really upset me to talk about it.

Otherwise, the slate is wiped clean. I'm done with that life. I'm onto bigger and better things.

I'm planning on a revival of both GoldenWinged and HelioSphere. They're going to look a little different than how they used to. And yes, there is some art in the pipeline

Stay tuned, and again, I'm so glad to be back, I can't wait to meet new friends!