what do you look like ?

The dreamer never-knowing
The dreamer never lies
The dreamer never prospers
With eternal broken eyes

With fractaline geographies
With crystal land and stair
With moon a thousand times a clone
It pays to stop and stare

It melodizes heart strings, oh,
It whispers mind and touch
It cradles her and ferries her
To havens such and such

To plains of love and losing love
To gardens made of life
To lies that scare her half to death
The dreamer sleeps the knife

---

So the songbird dreams of simplicity...so the caged bird dreams of life...

Free from the worries of social encounters...I am also freed from those same things. I shall not knows the pains; nor shall I know the treasures.

Never shall I be desired...ever shall I see desire. Always craving what one cannot have; for time scrapes away at your benefits.

The grass is always greener on the other side, they say...I know it is not. But I know, I -know-...that I would prefer to suffer from knowing...than to be blissfully ignorant...

Ignorance is blissful torture...

---

Not trying to grab pity for my computer problem, I'm fine with that. I'm just depressed right now, and Anzel feels the same.

Poetry is best written with a heavy heart, for the ink bleeds out much more easily <3 (basically, it's easier for me, at least, to write poetry when something is troubling me, or has already troubled me, and i'm recovering)

I'm stunned that I was able to write that. My eyes are kind-of blurry from crying, lol...well, my right eye is. (i deleted that entry, no need to discuss the subject matter x.x )

EDIT: Feeling a little better now, even though my dad will come home anytime now and claim the computer for many hours...*sighs*...

IM SORRY IM JUST IN SUCH A PRODUCTIVE MOOD

hope you can keep up. please people, read chapter 24 of Hanging Flowers first. it turned out really good <3

and now... i present, Fluttering Feathers.

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"What did you say?"

"I.. I said, I'm... pregnant..."

"Again?! I thought this wasn't going to happen!"

"I'm sorry, I.. I didn't know..."

"That's it, Jayla, I can't take this. We could leave the last one, but we can't do it again. Others will start wondering."

"I know... What will we do?"

"We? Hmph, this one is your problem. I can't take care of a fawn. I'm sorry, Jayla. We're through."

***

The doe opened her eyes, her face still wet with tears. Her heart was broken, her strength withered away. She couldn't help but cry after that night, so many weeks ago.

She was starting to show. She felt so ashamed. It was bad enough for it to happen once, but how could she make the same mistake twice? The little fawn growing in her body was created only by carelessness.

Jayla's eyes started to water again, thinking of the last time this happened. Her mate told her to give birth to him, and then leave him. It broke her heart in two when she just left the poor thing. She never wanted to do it, but she was under too much pressure. Her father was sick, and she didn't have time to take care of a fawn.

Now her father was gone. She had all the time in the world. But with no father? How could a fawn grow up without a father? She dwelled on the thought, but was interupted by a little thump in her belly.

The fawn had just started to kick, only occasionally. At least Jayla knew it would be healthy. She sighed. "Well..." she thought out loud, "I guess I'll keep you. At least now I have time to be a mother..."

Okay... I really need to write this so I can feel better. I've been wanting to write all day today. this is one of the most IMPORTANT chapters. a lot of emotion will go into this one. this is the chapter that calls back to all previous chapters! and this is the chapter that will make Skokey take a HUGE step in life!

NOTE: anything in italics are either memories or a dream.
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Skokey spent the next day getting used to his new antlers, but mostly he visited his parents. First, he stopped by the Blue Bowl and found the tree, and went over to the side facing east. He found that lottle grasses were growing, but no signs of blueberries. He smirked, knowing that his mother's grave won't be lost in a sea of blue now.

He sat down, facing away from the slowly rising sun. It was well into the morning, but it was still fairly early. Skokey stared at the grave for several minutes, thinking back on all he said to her. Memories flooded his mind, making tears come to his eyes.

"You couldn't let me know? Why didn't you let me know, back then I didn't know you left me!"

"Sorry? Sorry won't be enough, Mother. It's too late for sorry."

"Why did you leave me?"

"So what? You leave me but you decide to keep her? What made her so special?!"

"Shut up! I already understand! I understand perfectly well!...What I said before means nothing now. Now that I've seen what you think of me. My father, my caregiver, might have been a little more forgiving, but I'm different."

A few tears came down his face as he stared at the barren spot. He sighed, "I'm so sorry, Mother... I wish I could do something... I wish I could just take back everything I said... But you hurt me, Mother... You can't blame me for being angry..."

more to come!

these are my fan arts! I love them and i want to look at them always <3 so I put them all here.

From my ex-mate KONA


from Cato


From Terabetha


Inuyasha1141


Fledermaus


Perplex <3




Perplex and Jadine!
from emiva


tabithaaa


Perplex <3


Remember! I loooove fan art ^^

Ask Meh Anything!

Nevermind! O:

I was mourning by Runs Memorial. I heard the clang of hooves, and i looked all around... But there was no deer insight.... I think it was Run...running.

And im not making this up.... this really happened