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Awareness, as always with me, dawns with a certain geological slowness. Sometimes things cannot be communicated but for the whispering of leaves. Perhaps some things are better off that way, tragedies better left to be slowly eroded away, like the shore before the tide. Perhaps. I'm still not entirely sure I understand it -- and even then, I'm not sure I know what "it" is: do I mean the death of the fawn (not one I knew, nor an event I saw, but the weight of which hits me and makes me long either for ignorance or knowledge, though I'm not sure I'd be happy with either), the reactions to it, or the reasons behind it, spiraling in foaming madness? Or is it something more -- less what it was, something that touches me only periferially, some great sad thing in the shape of a death-pale fawn, and more what it means....

What does it mean to be endless? I thought I knew once. I thought it meant being, like a stone or a drop of water, unchanging and everlasting. And then I thought it was to be like the night sky, so without end that no heart can hold it. I've watched some of the more volitile reactions to this that I've seen, full of rage that seems oddly alien in the rain. I, like many, have seen that poor little shade and, at last, knew it for what it was and is. I offered it my apologies, for what little they were worth, and a nuzzle or two. I looked into those pale, sad eyes and I knew something: I knew what endlessness is.

To be endless is to be the prayer of the blush of summer; To be endless is to be a lie told by the most ephemeral of flowers; To be endless in not even to be the darkness before life or after it, those great caves in which this moment is but a small reprieve of fresh air and light. To be endless is to have never been at all. The only thing that is endless is endlessness itself. Not our forest. Not us.

Im linking to play this game soo much . its calm and people are soo nice ^^ I hope u guys like my little fawn too .

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We just got back from b'ham, but we recently found out that my grandfather, who was diagnosed with level 4 paincriatic(sp?) cancer's chemo stopped working. Sure, he can find a new one, but this means he will have to switch every few months and thats simply impossible to do...he probably has about 6 months to live says my mom. I love him to death and I'm not ready for him to go.

.......:The day was ragged, the clouds and their presense overwhelmingly obvious as they sputtered overhead, crossing the sky as fast as the wind could carry them. It was the first thing I saw when I awoke, my body screaming in agony, preventing any sort of attempt to move. My heart was stinging like fire, the pain coming in excruciating waves. I opened my mouth, letting out an exasperated breath, trying to keep the obvious pain within me. The clouds continued to carress the sky, leaving passing shadows to follow them upon the forest floor. I let my eyes wander, trying to get them into some sort of focus. I let out another breath, exhaling before quickly drawing my breath. "What? Does it hurt? Oh poor, sweet Wudiin. Mother is here to care for you." I closed my eyes again, leaning against the cold earth, drowning in the dark grass. "Now, now. My child, your mother only does this for your own good. Poor mother doesn't want his dear son to just wander off doing whatever he pleases. Your mother wants to make sure her son is in control of his actions. What your mother would give for her son to at least have a little more manners in his heart!" I opened my eyes, glancing dreamily across the land. Another typhoon of pain crushed my chest, and I let out a heaving breath, curling into myself. The pounding. Louder. Louder. I bit my lip, listening to the echoing voice in my head, squinting my eyes shut quicker than I had opened them. "You are hiding, poor child? Oh, Wudiin. Stand up, that pain is nothing. I cannot have my son so weak that he lays upon the ground as the world passes him by. Child...." Gathering up all my strength, I left the cold ground, the forces of gravity fighting to push me right back down. It seemed as if hours had past before I managed to stand, and I tried to hold my head high despite the crippling pain in my chest. Louder.

Sorry for my (likely unnoticed) absence; my computer was acting up a lot. and now (in theory) it is better! HUZZAH!

It was supposed to be a relaxing day. A normal day. By the Gods, I cannot shake this feeling. This feeling of death...despair...darkness...

It started out fine. The normal morning routine. Nothing special. Then it all started to slide downhill.

I slipped. I admit it, I slipped. I allowed myself to be taken by those silly adults, dancing with such joy. Fools. How can they, when there is so much pain and sorrow in the forest? So much pain. I tore myself away from them, rejecting their games. Too late, I'd already slipped. I'm supposed to be pure, an example to other dwellers. What will happen if I fall even deeper? What will happen if I make a more grievous mistake?

I ran. I never run, but I couldn't stand it. I fled from them, to the Gods...I needed to beg their forgiveness. Or was I begging my own? But...it didn't work. I couldn't forgive myself. Then a fawn appeared. They brought me back, prayed with me. I was saved by a fawn, his purity. That fawn saved me...from the wrath of the Gods? Or myself...

I was calmer now. The fawn had brought me back. I walked briskly towards the Crying idol, not sure exactly why I was going there. One does not question the pulls of the Forest. Suddenly, there was a fawn in front of me. Another one, quietly curled up against the rain, looking frail and vulnerable. My heart warmed and I sat next to it. "I'll warm you, little child..." I whispered silently in its ear, though it came out as a soft snort. It did not awaken, but warmed up. I lowered my head over it, shielding it with my bulk, frail though I am as well.

_xD You won_'t believe what happened today_. I was going in as Ween because I was feeling a little down but I experienced some things that cheered me up very quickly _{xD .}

Firstly_, Ween went to his favorite place_: The Ruins_. Guess who he met_? Hammy_, the Lost _& Lonely Candle Light_!



But the funny thing was_: You could only see Hammy from one special view point_, he was invisible when you looked from the other site_!


And then_, after a while of going around randomly_, I sat down near The Ruins and my internet connection crashed_. It soon came back_, but when it was there again_, Ween was dancing_! I hadn_'t even used this action before_. And I couldn_'t stop him_! Even not with the sit_-down_-action_, not with any other action_! I could even walk and he was still dancing_! And I didn_'t even hear the dancing music_. But then I had to go anyway_, and I quitted the game_. But Ween was still dancing _xD







Have you ever had stuff like that before_{? ^^}

Name~
Her name is Tearasyn. How I got the name I don't really remember but I like it XD

Pictogram~
I don't know what I see in Tearasyn's pictogram but it reminds me of a mountain and a cloud above it. The line in the center reminds me of a divider. I don't really see much else in it, but it seems like it has a meaning.

Gender~
Female/Doe

Age~
Tearasyn is younger than she seems.

Eye color~
It depends on her mood.
Positive Mood = Blood Red
Negative Mood = Maroon
Mixed Mood = Scarlet

Family~
No family.

Personality~
Tearasyn is a very mixed doe. She appears to be outgoing and carefree and she puts on a smile despite the fact that she doesn't know what she is feeling.

Favorite spots~
Tearasyn doesn't necessarily have a favorite spot in the forest. But she enjoys being where others are not.

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