"I only live to see them live..." ~Emdeaur's Biography~ //OLD BIO NOT UPDATED

E•M•D•E•A•U•R


(please view on a widescreen monitor and with Internet Explorer)


So this is an old biography. New one IS HERE. This one's not updated anymore, but I can't bear to destroy it. So. There's that. ♥















E•M•D•E•A•U•R



is;

-non gender-specific: predominantly male, assumed either
-a romantic
-a terrible grudge-holder
-hazel-eyed
-hermapherodidic (functional male/female contents)
-pansexual
-finds males more physically attractive and females more mentally/emotionally interesting
-adapts well to situations
-can be vengeful
-craves affection and touch
-cannot handle stress well; runs off when overwhelmed
-rarely dominant, but hardly over-submissive
-antlers grow at a constant rate; they do not shed
-antlers are light, do not hold up well in combat
-slightly taller than a 'TEF deer'
-short, fine fur, longer, straight hair over hackles and neck
-viciously protective over anyone he considers 'friend'
-easily jealous
-a poet
-more intelligent than he looks
-claims twin intertwinned birch trees as 'his'
-posessive over the top of the cage in the ruins
-variable, playful, stoic, a watcher, calculating, kind
-combat strategy is mostly will and movement over power
-obsessive nuzzler
-has no defined 'set'
-sometimes a stalker
-claims and makes 'pets' and 'posessions' out of others sometimes



beliefs;

-wordless apologies
-simplistic beauty
-the meaning of names
-loyalty unto death
-fighting for others, not self
-twin gods
-love: all powers of and the strength of those that have





adores;

-does, stags
-colors
-night-time, snow, fog, sunshine
-family, friends, those he loves
-orange
-playful spars
-watching, observing
-snuggling
-the world
-the beauty of the unknown

abhors;

-unnecessary fights
-company when not wanted
-letting others down
-helplessness
-rain
-large crowds
-'sides' in a fight




fears;

-attacks
-being lost
-defenselessness
-losing sight
-forgetting
-stand-offs
-being rushed at
-large crowds




origin;


brought into this world, i was.

given life by my mother, who was not of this forest.
i do not remember her much, but my father, who is called Basil, is of this forest.
my father and i came upon this land by an unknown event.

did we die? is this our heaven?

have we failed at our tasks? is this our prison?

...i will never know.

my father and i are not close; we do not share internal dreams or tell each other stories. we are two different breathing things, alike by only chromosomes. we share blood, not mind.

i set out to build myself my own family. and so i did.

my mother, then, by another unknown event, arrived into this forest. and who am i, her only son, to not welcome her 'home'?

i didn't know what to think.

it was as if everyone was back together again. everyone is back where they belong.

everyone has their place, now.

and nothing makes sense anymore.






i would follow you to battle and die for your cause;

Evania - beloved/"Never." (deceased)
Evelys - biological daughter/adores
Capulet - biological son/adores
Basil - biological father/alike in blood, not mind
Miarza - biological mother/honors/respects/loves/unsure
Exit - sister/loves/raised her from fawnhood/extremely protective of
Jorogumo - sister/respects/adores
Ji - niece/loves/playmate
Bénézet - nephew/adores/protective of/playmate
Flail - sister/loves/protective of
Demon - brother/loves/bit of a boycrush
Aleumdaun Misang - sister/adores/protective of
Jax - brother/loves/secret lover
Caden - nephew/protective of/loves
Kasmir - niece/loves
Hexane - nephew/loves
Aamori - niece/loves
Euriea - niece/loves
Dajhi - loves/doesn't get to see often because of Lucian/good friend
Gustiro - unquestioned love/indebted to/a posession of
Misaki - adores/posession/his
Darlene - pet/posession/loves and trusts/good friend (deceased)


i would hear your cry and be at your side;

Lilly - likes/friend
Moonrose - likes/friend
Phoenix - likes/friend
Mikhail - loves/fears it isn't mutual
Spirituelle - adores/good friend
Angel - likes/friend
Mikaela - likes/friend/doesn't see often
Spirit - likes/friend
Buttons - adores/protects/good friend
Oriole - likes/protects/friend
Shineri - likes/good friend
Copolymer - likes/friend
Vitality - likes/friend
Vodun - likes/friend
Lucy - likes/friend
Umay - likes/friend
Vala - likes/friend
Domingo - curious of/unsure of motives/likes regardless
Mr. Zombie - cuddlebuddy/another posession/adores
Kody - likes/friend
Crucio - ?



i cower in your presence, tremble at your words;

Lucian - fears/hates/will run from
Cadaver - unreasonably terrified of/avoids at all cost


forgiveness doesn't always exist;

Jade - dislikes/ignores
Visil - hates/fears
Leviathann - dislikes

there aren't always words for what i worry for;

Daikon - unsure
Illrose - unsure/dislikes
Dinah Moon - unsure/likes
Gehirn - acquaintance/likes
Saosin - respects/likes
Bae - unsure/likes/curious of
Sianna - unsure





•first loves•

my strength • my love • my life • my strength • my hope • my love • my life • my strength • my hope • my love
my life • my strength • my hope • my love • my life • SkyAngel • my strength • my hope • my love • my life

...someone told me once
that true love only happens twice.

the first once is forever...
the second is to fill the empty space.

i will never find a second.
i will never stop willing her home.

because i love you more
than i ever should.


•second chances•

...i thought i had everything figured out
i knew it, i knew it-
i thought i was cursed.
i thought i was never allowed to have what i wanted

but then there was you.
unassuming, unannounced...
you walked into my life,
and played it like a song

that's when i realized;
it's not that i'm cursed,
but that instead of getting what i thought i wanted
i got the only thing i'll ever need:

...


...you.

Emdeaur Evania

"Forever and for always.
...forevermore."

•acceptance•





...

...i was wrong all along, wasn't i?






WHOO COMMENT ^100!!! And

WHOO COMMENT ^100!!!

And 101! xDDD


AND AND AND OMG PAGE 3.
shaku's picture

CONGRATS! And awww. Well I'm

CONGRATS!

And awww. Well I'm beside myself that she's a girl. Vodun has no opinion either way, but I'm sure once he gets used to her he'll be pleased if she lets him give her poppies ♥

"Flowahs from Uncle

"Flowahs from Uncle Vo-Vo!"

/brick'd
shaku's picture

ROFLL. Knowing him, he'll

ROFLL. Knowing him, he'll probably do it all sneaky so that he doesn't have to deal with the reaction XD So her head will just feel itchy while she sleeps? Flower-scented dreams? Hahaha~

D'aww~ That's cute.

D'aww~ That's cute. Flower-scented dreams.

Beats some of the dream I've had before. All of my bad dreams involve elevators. >.>'' Elevators that just...go wrong. Although it's funny because in real life I don't have a problem with elevators or anything. <8D

/random
shaku's picture

Oh wow, that's interesting...

Oh wow, that's interesting... I used to have dreams where I was getting chased D: Now I'm pretty good about facing whatever's chasing me...... and beating it to a pulp. Zombies are a recurring theme. Giant geckos, too. I think elevators are a pretty logical thing to have nightmares about >>

I'm glad you commented back

I'm glad you commented back because I was beginning to worry I had scared you off by telling you I have weird elevator dreams. >.>

BUT YEAH. Giant geckos sound like lots of fun, actually. As long as they're not trying to nom your face off, y'know? xDDD I can never run from stuff in dreams, though. It's like...legs don't work. Lol. And even though enemies seem like they're getting closer, they never actually reach me, which is good. xDD
shaku's picture

Lol noooo! Haha~ Sometimes

Lol noooo! Haha~ Sometimes I'm just slow replying |D ♥

Woaahh, that's really scary D: Being unable to run. How interesting. Have you ever looked up what that might mean? Like, dream meanings? I think some dream meaning stuff is full of it, but other stuff is really fascinating XD

I haven't looked up dream

I haven't looked up dream meanings before, actually. I shall go do that. <8D -slinks off to the wonderful chasm of google-
Corell's picture

Track =D

Track =D
Salome's picture

-don't know whether I track

-don't know whether I track this-

>__<

Corell; Thankyouuu~

Corell; Thankyouuu~ ♥

Shutzzzz; Haha it's fine~ Thanks~ <83
shaku's picture

Wetterrrr~ Did you look up

Wetterrrr~ Did you look up your dreams while I was on vacation? >u> What did you find?

Uhm..uhm...yes I did...-opens

Uhm..uhm...yes I did...-opens another tab-

Just let me uhm...remember...my findings...>.>

Edit; Taken from www(dot)dreammoods(dot)com:

"If the elevator is moving upward in an out of control fashion or it crashes through the roof, then it indicates that you are being catapulted to a position of power in which you do not yet know how to deal with. You are afraid of the new responsibilities ahead for you."

^Lol....I'm worried now. xDDD
shaku's picture

Woah yeah, that's kinda

Woah yeah, that's kinda negative XD;; Is that what your elevator is doing? You feel out of control?

The elevators almost always

The elevators almost always go up like...reverse gravity, that the further they travel, the faster they go, until they finally break through the ceiling/roof. Then it falls and I usually don't dream past that. Lol.

Tracking. Really like this

Tracking. Really like this layout. <3

Ffffffff...coming from you

Ffffffff...coming from you who has like...such amazing CSS skills.

Thankyouuuuuuuu~~~~ >w<
shaku's picture

Omggg that's really stressful

Omggg that's really stressful ;A; I think my two elevator dreams were a) a falling elevator and b) an elevator during a tornado, where I stepped out and one of the walls got sucked out underneath my hand.

Elevators are traumatic, man :I I empathize.

What is Emdeur gonna do with

Shocked
What is Emdeur gonna do with that Evania army? XD

Repopulate the

Repopulate the forest.

SmallVas.

You just wait.

XD

XD
Iskalo's picture

Low thunder rumbled through

Low thunder rumbled through the forest. Slow and languid it rolled over the ears of every creature taking refuge under the ancient trees or lurking in the windswept grasses, as the first fat drops of rain began to fall. Steadily the slow drips increased to a dull roar as water poured from the sky. The thick canopy of the forest was next to useless against such an onslaught as the wind contributed it's fury as well, making the trees sway and creak. Many deer fled to the sturdiest of trees or rocky outcrops for shelter. One doe, however, seemed grimly set on her task. She hobbled, on her three legs, onward through the rain. The ferocity of the storm was unparalleled by her determination. Even as her mossy fur was plastered to her body by the wet, or the wind successfully caused her to stumble and fall, she pressed onward, through the birch forest, to a particular pair of trees. The twin plants, even wrapped around each other as they were, swayed and creaked dangerously under the pressing wind. A lone buck sat, stubbornly proud, under the trees, head held high despite the sting of the rain. The green doe gave a relieved sigh at the sight of him, and increased her pace slightly (it was as much as she could manage with the current conditions) and hurried to him. Exhausted, but unwilling to show it, the doe lowered herself to the muddy ground in front of the male and opened her mouth to speak. Her words were whipped away by the wind. Frowning, she leaned in until she was close enough to speak directly into his ear; although the wind was still determined to spite her by doubling it's efforts, causing the buck's long fur to slap her injured muzzle. She winced, but did not recoil. Finally, with her muzzle pressed flat against the stag's she spoke, "Emdeaur. I'm sorry. For everything."
____________________________________
Really long post? Why yes, I guess it is. ♥

-retard face.- ...... -sneaks

-retard face.-
......
-sneaks through.-

DINA, YOU... &hearts; >w

DINA, YOU...

♥ >w<

~

LYDIA. I'M WORKING ON IT. I SWEAR. ;-;
Iskalo's picture

YOU BETTER BE. Or I'll make

YOU BETTER BE.
Or I'll make you watch that weird video again >:C
lol ♥

LOL I'VE SEEN THAT SO MANY

LOL I'VE SEEN THAT SO MANY TIMES

IT'S JUST FULL OF LOL.

For everyone else; . >w<
Iskalo's picture

NOOOO YOU'VE SCARRED THEM ALL

NOOOO YOU'VE SCARRED THEM ALL NOW.
Howdareyou;-;
It will never leave my mind >.>'
Xemi's picture

.. OHLAWD I'VE SEEN

.. OHLAWD I'VE SEEN THIS
AAAAHHHH
GET IT AWAY GET IT AWAY AAUUUFFGGHNNNNAAAAUUGUUHHH

^LOL.

^LOL.
uwharrie's picture

Tracks ^^ &hearts;

Tracks ^^ ♥

Uwharrie; Thankjoo~ Lydia;

Uwharrie; Thankjoo~

Lydia; (OMG YOU'VE BOTHERED ME ABOUT THIS FOR SO LONG ASEBTFOEASUTBOUBF)

~~~

Rain.

Lots of rain.

Emdeaur woke that morning by a single wet drop landing square on his muzzle, and he turned his face up to the sky and scowled at the clouds. As if to curse the stag himself, the skies retched their contents upon the earth, and all over the poor deer below.
The stag lowered his head as the rain covered him, flattening his ears down and scowling at the dirt, which was turning to mud before his eyes. He sighed, pulled himself to his hooves, and trudged across the forest to his trees, his territory. The only place he might feel a bit better.

Sinking into the damp, slimy ground, the stag exhaled deeply and closed his eyes. Horrible. Just horrible.

After a few moments, the wind picked up around him and the rain drove in sheets against the poor buck's hide. He gritted his teeth but didn't move. No. He was too strong for that, wasn't he?

A lone, green figure appeared on the horizon, and a warm burn ran through his spine. Evania...

As the other got closer, he stiffened, every muscle in his body tensed. He thought back to when he playfully ignored the doe for a while, then when she rejected him, when he wouldn't apologize.

...

Shaking the thoughts out of his head, he kept his eyes trained ahead of him as the doe tried to say something while he ignored her. What does she want?

She's...apologizing? For what? You're the bad one...

He flicked his ears, squinted against the wind. The closeness of the doe made his heart race, the smell of her was noticable even through the weather, everything about her caused so many memories to jump into the stag's head.

You're the one who should apologize, and you know that.

He turned his head to the side, met the doe's gaze. His brow furrowed upon seeing the infected cut on her nose. Oh, how he wished he could sit with her, make everything better, make her feel better.

A worried look glazed over his eyes.

"Don't apologize, Evania." He fought with the wind to be heard, but speaking directly into her ear seemed to work.

"I'm the one who should be sorry. And I am. I'm so sorry..."

He looks down at the ground, the small rivers carved into the dirt by the rainwater. He was sorry, he just hoped his words would do justice to how he actually felt.

~~~

Even longer post? I think so~
Iskalo's picture

YAAAYYYYY~! ~~~ The doe

YAAAYYYYY~!
~~~

The doe waits. She was so anxious, too tired of this fight. She just wanted them to be able to spend time together again. She was in too much pain without him.
It seemed like ages that he sat there, unmoving, staring straight ahead into the rain. Her heart was beating so hard, and so fast she thought it may leap from her chest.
Then he glanced at her. Those warm eyes that so often brought comfort, now clouded with pain.
This is it then. He's not going to want me back. The doe closes her eyes, ears falling back, but she refuses to move away. Not until he tells her to.
Then he speaks. Tells her not to apologize. It's no use. The thought crushes her. Had she not needed to keep her face pressed against his to be able to hear him, she would have collapsed. She opened her mouth to speak. To tell him that she was wrong and that she will leave, but he beats her to it. He spoke the words right into her ear, and suddenly all the doe could feel was elation. A stab of relief that numbed her, but only for a moment.
"I hurt so much, Em... I wish I could be strong for you and keep the rain away, but I can't.
I'm so sorry. I love you. I'm so sorry..." She repeats those phrases, voice trailing away, giving in to the wind as she lays her head down in the mud, pressed close against his shoulder.

~~~~
This is crappy! Yaaaaay~
But seriously. :I Sorry this sucks.
Bai now~ ♥

Derp. deleted all of the

Derp. deleted all of the longness to not stretch the page. <33

Oh. His speech color is

Oh. His speech color is #ECD672. x3

-put 'add new comment' instead of reply so you can edit it- xDD

I'll edit this with a reply...one of these days. >.>

AND THANK YOU. B'AWW. -is complimented- >w< ♥
Spirituelle's picture

Your company was comforting

Your company was comforting today, I was presently surprised.
Mmmm.

"It's always a pleasure to

"It's always a pleasure to see you, too.

You've been quiet recently. I haven't seen much of you. You have steered clear of trouble, I presume?"


~

Spirituelle's picture

Accusing me of causing

Accusing me of causing trouble,
is this your impression of me, Emdeaur?


Her tone was light and playful.

"Ah, not accusing you of

"Ah, not accusing you of causing it, perhaps...accusing you of being lulled into it?

It's an easy thing to get into, trouble. Not the easiest to free yourself from."

Bump. But. Guys. Does this

Bump.

But.

Guys. Does this look any better than it did? Did it look better before? -complicated fool-
Kirness's picture

Random track. &hearts;

Random track. ♥
Please call me Lyssa or Kir. n.n

Art by Anjali. ♥

8D &hearts;

8D ♥

I think it looks TRES SEXIER.

I think it looks TRES SEXIER. 8D ♥

OH HAPPY DAY~ Thankyou

OH HAPPY DAY~

Thankyou Dinasaur~ >w<
OkamiLugia's picture

belated track

belated track
Kasmir's picture

Whatwhat I've not tracked

Whatwhat

I've not tracked this? ... /track<3
Kirness's picture

Slowly, the crow approached

Slowly, the crow approached Em, wings ruffling before tucking in tightly to his sides. What brought him to do this, even he wasn't sure. It merely felt right, like something he had to do. He could smell the death in the air and it filled him with remorse, picking up on the dispair from those grieving. But Dismay was drawn to this one right now.

Tandem's pace slowed drastically as he got closer, scanning over the larger male carefully, not wanting to appproach too quickly. The distance was closed with a frown as his feathers ruffled again, looking up at Em with a pained, understanding expression.

"I'm sorry."

That was all he said, touching his beak to the stag's shoulder and giving him a brief nuzzle. He lifted his head again, seeking to make eye contact and deliver a silent message too before turning and moving away again. There was no reason for him to linger.

(Sorry, I know Tan approached Em in forest, but I think I was lagging some, so I figured I'd throw this at you too. I hope you don't mind. n.n;)
Please call me Lyssa or Kir. n.n

Art by Anjali. ♥
Pretzil's picture

Brother.... a single tear

Brother....
a single tear fell as the doe stood a distance from him. He was... empty.
There is a time... when..

There's a time when ...everything has its fall. Brother.... I...
her voice was pained and jagged.
You have always been there for me and my family. You... if it weren't for you, id never be who I am today. I wouldn't have a mate, or had my son or daughters... and.. happy times and unfortunate times... they are all tightly woven together. Brother...

Misang wanted to reach out and hug him until everything was happy again. But.. she was afraid.
Afraid of..

Something that did not exist.

Sobs. Soft and hollow sobs. Each tear that fell, each tear that stained her face.. she wanted to hide them.

I believe in you......


Brother...
thelittleraven's picture

"Sorry, Em." She barely knew

"Sorry, Em."

She barely knew him, but a friend of Gusitro was a friend of hers, and this was a troubling time for all. Shyly but sympathetically, Ryff nuzzled his shoulder and moved off to find the others. She would return.



Bleh sorry for the useless post. ;;

^Both of you, I read your

^Both of you, I read your posts, I did. Sorry for no responses. Thank you both. ♥