"I only live to see them live..." ~Emdeaur's Biography~ //OLD BIO NOT UPDATED

E•M•D•E•A•U•R


(please view on a widescreen monitor and with Internet Explorer)


So this is an old biography. New one IS HERE. This one's not updated anymore, but I can't bear to destroy it. So. There's that. ♥















E•M•D•E•A•U•R



is;

-non gender-specific: predominantly male, assumed either
-a romantic
-a terrible grudge-holder
-hazel-eyed
-hermapherodidic (functional male/female contents)
-pansexual
-finds males more physically attractive and females more mentally/emotionally interesting
-adapts well to situations
-can be vengeful
-craves affection and touch
-cannot handle stress well; runs off when overwhelmed
-rarely dominant, but hardly over-submissive
-antlers grow at a constant rate; they do not shed
-antlers are light, do not hold up well in combat
-slightly taller than a 'TEF deer'
-short, fine fur, longer, straight hair over hackles and neck
-viciously protective over anyone he considers 'friend'
-easily jealous
-a poet
-more intelligent than he looks
-claims twin intertwinned birch trees as 'his'
-posessive over the top of the cage in the ruins
-variable, playful, stoic, a watcher, calculating, kind
-combat strategy is mostly will and movement over power
-obsessive nuzzler
-has no defined 'set'
-sometimes a stalker
-claims and makes 'pets' and 'posessions' out of others sometimes



beliefs;

-wordless apologies
-simplistic beauty
-the meaning of names
-loyalty unto death
-fighting for others, not self
-twin gods
-love: all powers of and the strength of those that have





adores;

-does, stags
-colors
-night-time, snow, fog, sunshine
-family, friends, those he loves
-orange
-playful spars
-watching, observing
-snuggling
-the world
-the beauty of the unknown

abhors;

-unnecessary fights
-company when not wanted
-letting others down
-helplessness
-rain
-large crowds
-'sides' in a fight




fears;

-attacks
-being lost
-defenselessness
-losing sight
-forgetting
-stand-offs
-being rushed at
-large crowds




origin;


brought into this world, i was.

given life by my mother, who was not of this forest.
i do not remember her much, but my father, who is called Basil, is of this forest.
my father and i came upon this land by an unknown event.

did we die? is this our heaven?

have we failed at our tasks? is this our prison?

...i will never know.

my father and i are not close; we do not share internal dreams or tell each other stories. we are two different breathing things, alike by only chromosomes. we share blood, not mind.

i set out to build myself my own family. and so i did.

my mother, then, by another unknown event, arrived into this forest. and who am i, her only son, to not welcome her 'home'?

i didn't know what to think.

it was as if everyone was back together again. everyone is back where they belong.

everyone has their place, now.

and nothing makes sense anymore.






i would follow you to battle and die for your cause;

Evania - beloved/"Never." (deceased)
Evelys - biological daughter/adores
Capulet - biological son/adores
Basil - biological father/alike in blood, not mind
Miarza - biological mother/honors/respects/loves/unsure
Exit - sister/loves/raised her from fawnhood/extremely protective of
Jorogumo - sister/respects/adores
Ji - niece/loves/playmate
Bénézet - nephew/adores/protective of/playmate
Flail - sister/loves/protective of
Demon - brother/loves/bit of a boycrush
Aleumdaun Misang - sister/adores/protective of
Jax - brother/loves/secret lover
Caden - nephew/protective of/loves
Kasmir - niece/loves
Hexane - nephew/loves
Aamori - niece/loves
Euriea - niece/loves
Dajhi - loves/doesn't get to see often because of Lucian/good friend
Gustiro - unquestioned love/indebted to/a posession of
Misaki - adores/posession/his
Darlene - pet/posession/loves and trusts/good friend (deceased)


i would hear your cry and be at your side;

Lilly - likes/friend
Moonrose - likes/friend
Phoenix - likes/friend
Mikhail - loves/fears it isn't mutual
Spirituelle - adores/good friend
Angel - likes/friend
Mikaela - likes/friend/doesn't see often
Spirit - likes/friend
Buttons - adores/protects/good friend
Oriole - likes/protects/friend
Shineri - likes/good friend
Copolymer - likes/friend
Vitality - likes/friend
Vodun - likes/friend
Lucy - likes/friend
Umay - likes/friend
Vala - likes/friend
Domingo - curious of/unsure of motives/likes regardless
Mr. Zombie - cuddlebuddy/another posession/adores
Kody - likes/friend
Crucio - ?



i cower in your presence, tremble at your words;

Lucian - fears/hates/will run from
Cadaver - unreasonably terrified of/avoids at all cost


forgiveness doesn't always exist;

Jade - dislikes/ignores
Visil - hates/fears
Leviathann - dislikes

there aren't always words for what i worry for;

Daikon - unsure
Illrose - unsure/dislikes
Dinah Moon - unsure/likes
Gehirn - acquaintance/likes
Saosin - respects/likes
Bae - unsure/likes/curious of
Sianna - unsure





•first loves•

my strength • my love • my life • my strength • my hope • my love • my life • my strength • my hope • my love
my life • my strength • my hope • my love • my life • SkyAngel • my strength • my hope • my love • my life

...someone told me once
that true love only happens twice.

the first once is forever...
the second is to fill the empty space.

i will never find a second.
i will never stop willing her home.

because i love you more
than i ever should.


•second chances•

...i thought i had everything figured out
i knew it, i knew it-
i thought i was cursed.
i thought i was never allowed to have what i wanted

but then there was you.
unassuming, unannounced...
you walked into my life,
and played it like a song

that's when i realized;
it's not that i'm cursed,
but that instead of getting what i thought i wanted
i got the only thing i'll ever need:

...


...you.

Emdeaur Evania

"Forever and for always.
...forevermore."

•acceptance•





...

...i was wrong all along, wasn't i?






Tracking~ you're with my

Tracking~ you're with my honeydew right now xD
Dajhi's picture

I am sorry, I am lagging a

I am sorry, I am lagging a lot, that is why Dajhi is far away from the crowd ):
she wanted to go there though >.>

Aww it's okay. ^^

Aww it's okay. ^^
gglidden's picture

*Track* I remember my

*Track* I remember my character Buttons met Emdeaur when she was with Flail. This was quite a while back. He was wearing the skeleton pelt, big curly antlers, and crying idol mask.
Ring The Bells That Still Can Ring.
Forget Your Perfect Offering.
There Is A Crack In Everything.
That's How The Light Gets In.

(A part of the lyrics of Leonard Cohen's Song "Anthem")

Oh yes yes yes. I remember

Oh yes yes yes. I remember that. 8D Buttons is so cute. <3

And thank you. ^^
gglidden's picture

8D You're most certainly

8D You're most certainly welcome. <3
Ring The Bells That Still Can Ring.
Forget Your Perfect Offering.
There Is A Crack In Everything.
That's How The Light Gets In.

(A part of the lyrics of Leonard Cohen's Song "Anthem")

track

track <3
Dajhi's picture

do you have msn? Can I add

do you have msn? Can I add you?
if you want to add me instead, mine is:


=)

Lolaaaa thank.

Lolaaaa thank. <3

Yes I do. 8D

Mine is

Definitely tracking this c:

Definitely tracking this c:

-wiggles with happy- xDD

-wiggles with happy- xDD
Spirituelle's picture

whatwhat i thought i was

whatwhat i thought i was tracking this.
spirit isn't too much fun just now, i'm multitasking, so she's just sitting. :b

xDD That's okay~

xDD That's okay~ ♥

And thanks~ You and Nirwana's comments are my first once in months. xDDD

-fixed all the broken links

-fixed all the broken links and relationships-

So this was the stag that was

So this was the stag that was with Dajhi, Mikhail and my Banshee. <33
Good to know. (8
<:

Yes, yes it was. 8D

Yes, yes it was. 8D

<3 Good to know, as well.

Had a good time sitting in the rain. It was all cute and whatnot~ x3
Zeekii's picture

Hello there c: *dances*

Hello there c: *dances*

Haiii~

Haiii~ <8D

I thought I had this tracked

I thought I had this tracked but it seems I do not! Track! <3
wocio's picture

Tracking ^^ That's a nice

Tracking ^^

That's a nice bio!
Smiling

Mrrh~~ Thanks~ &hearts;

Mrrh~~ Thanks~ ♥
DEERTH's picture

Tracktracktrack by me as

Tracktracktrack by me as well. Lovely bio. Violet would like to meet Emdeaur. I really like your chars! <3
Call me Deery. Smiling
Dragon Scroll.
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Mrr~~~ Thankyouuu~

Mrr~~~ Thankyouuu~ <3
DEERTH's picture

Naw probla

Naw probla <3 . Lol. A little RP as a start maybe here as well? I am RPing with Exit already in her bio, actually O.o .
Call me Deery. Smiling
Dragon Scroll.
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Fuuu~ RP = good. Go right

Fuuu~ RP = good.

Go right ahead~ ♥
DEERTH's picture

Surey over thar! --- Violet

Surey over thar!

---

Violet walks in The First Forest. She gazes around the wind's breeze and sees a deer. Like she always does, she respects other deer and bows to it. "H-hello, mighty deer. *looks these antlers* Erm... Uh... Sorry, awmn pleasant day in the forest, isn't it?" says Violet carefully. She doesn't want to be disrespectful.
Call me Deery. Smiling
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Emdeaur flicks his ears

Emdeaur flicks his ears lazily. Sitting in a patch of flowers with one leg tucked under his chest, he stands upon noticing the approaching fawn.

He smiles at the creature's greeting. "Mmm...mighty?" He exhales a small laugh. "Hello, little one...how are you?

He sniffs the smaller creature and smiles.



~~~

Gawwsh...so bad at RPing today. <.> Sorry.
DEERTH's picture

The fawn looks at the deer

The fawn looks at the deer little confused and thinks: "I thought mighty... Whatever, I just addressed well..." Then she raises her head and says: "I am well, thank you. Can't complain *tries to smile*... How about you... Uh, kind deer? (In thoughts: I think that's a better address... I am not good at social yet...)" She sniffs the stranger back. She smells a nice scent. It goes to Violet's memory as for remembering.

---

It's okay. I am bad at RPing sometimes too. Like this above Sad... I am not impressed for it. But nevermind. I like your RP Smiling .
Call me Deery. Smiling
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Emdeaur gave a small exhale

Emdeaur gave a small exhale of laughter. "Heh...don't ever let antlers fool you. Too many stags simply have antlers...but not in there head. You know? They...don't think about what they do, so they don't think about how they act."

He nods like someone older than him would. But...maybe he was older. Perhaps time didn't affect him like it did everyone else. Maybe it was being looked into too carefully.

But the stag nods, a nod full of understanding, and one would have to wonder, 'What else is behind those eyes?', but who would know, then? I doubt even the stag himself did.

Emdeaur stretched and shook out his fur. White, at least for now, but in a place where magic alters your chemistry and antlers, fur, hooves grow constantly, and spells alter the makeup of the body itself...there was no telling what color the stag naturally was.

"I am fine, thank you." He smiles at the fawn. "And what is your name, little one?"

DEERTH's picture

Violet looks at the stag.

Violet looks at the stag. "Ohh, so now I see. Those antlers are just for demonstrating honor and beauty, isn't it? But I need to be careful with some stags... Some are just... Bully." Violet moves her ears in a little confused way. She gazes the stag with great respect, as he seems more intelligent than others might be. She watches those true eyes and says to herself: "I see wisdom behind these eyes. That stag must've lived through difficulties... I wonder what they might be... Or is it just my imagination?" Then she listens the question: "And what is your name, little one?" Her ears lower of the question; What was her REAL name? No. No time for pondering the weighty questions. She takes her eyes off a rock after thinking of the question and raises her head, telling the stag fairly: "I don't know my real name. But just call me Violet or Rosie, whatever you please."

---

EDIT: About that little saying of Violet's, she misunderstood some things. She understood your deer's first sentence in a little different way.
Call me Deery. Smiling
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Sorry this is so late....>.

Sorry this is so late....>.<
~

He tilted his head to the side and nodded.

"Ehm...sort of. Some stags...some deer in general...when they have power and can demonstrate it, sometimes they use it the wrong way. Yes, I suppose, like bullying."

Smiling, he returned the fawn's gaze. "Violet. That's a nice name...it's very...delicate. Like an actual flower. It's a very pretty name though."

He thinks about this for a moment. A 'real' name. Did those exist? And if so...did he have one?

"What is this you talk about...a....'real' name. What is that?"



~~

Lol it's okay. I think she's adorable. xDD
DEERTH's picture

It's okay and thanks

It's okay and thanks <3 .

---

Violet listened the stag's first two sentences and says: "Ahh, now I get it!" Then she listens the stag's other sentences about her name. She says after a while of thought: "I didn't know... I have named myself. So others can call me... Something, at least. But I am Violet or Rosie because of the 'flower crowns' I wear on my head. Look at this purple flower crown! Violet flowers are my favourite, there is where my name's come from. Like a symbol, I wear it proudly on my head. And thanks... And... And real name, for me, is that what mother names you. Or father. But I don't remember what they called me... It has cleared itself from my memories." Violet looks at the stag, confused.
Call me Deery. Smiling
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Oh my...long post is long.

Oh my...long post is long. >.< I'm sorry~~~

~
"Oh...I see. What a lovely way to be named. After the very flowers that you wear on your head."

He gives an almost..approving nod to the fawn, and then considers what she says about being named by your parents.

"Mmm...my mother." His face turns almost...stern, while thinking. Trying to remember.

"My mother was...young. She was small...and dark brown like...like the earth." He scratches away the sandy top layer of dirt with his hoof, revealing the richer, earthy dirt below.

"I was with my mother...a few days, at most. Maybe fewer. I don't remember. It's all a blend of memories.

...her voice was smooth. Velvety. Warm to your ears.

She called me 'Emdeaur'. She called me lovely. She called me her son.

...and so I was."


He exhales, flicks his ears, and continues with his story.

"One morning I woke up...here. In this forest. Not the place I was born in. My father was with me. Mother wasn't.

To this day, I don't know where she went or why she didn't go with us. I don't know what happened to her.
...father told me not to worry about her. He told me not to think about her, not to let her cross my mind. Of course, I still thought about her. I still worried about her, and I still asked about her. Almost every day.

Father finally grew tired of me asking him things he didn't know. I wasn't aware of it then, but father was...broken. He was blinded by his love leaving. He was unable to see any beauty or any goodness in anything anymore.

..myself included."


Emdeaur looks up from the ground, his face cold and stern. He takes a few deep breaths and casts a more gentle look at the fawn. "I'm sorry. I don't...I don't talk about this much. I don't think I'm even used to my own feelings about it." Forcing a smile, he wraps up his story quickly.

"Father and I aren't close anymore. I don't even remember if we ever were.

...I ran away, once. I tried running back to my mother, away from this forest I was put in...and it didn't work. 'Endless' is quite literally what this forest is. There are no...physical means to escape it.

So instead I tried changing myself. I called myself 'Rain' instead of Emdeaur. It seemed more...natural. It seemed elemental. It seemed real.
I went out to explore what I could, away from my father...
I made friends, I grew, I fell in love.

And then I lost it all again.

So I shed tears, shed my shame, and shed my false name.

...father greeted me coldly, but...not with as much hatred as before.

...

Sometimes I still wonder if there's a way out of here."


His ears pin forward on his skull, and he eyes Violet. "I'm sorry for talking so much...how about I listen, instead?

...what's your story?"
DEERTH's picture

No problem. I have no

No problem. I have no problems reading long posts. I am quite quick at reading. And sorry, my post is a bit long as well >.< .

---

Violet looked at Emdeaur, listening his story quietly. When she was asked for her story. She was surprised at first, then looking at Emdeaur with a I'm sorry look and then lowering ears. "My story.... My story is a sad one. Sadder than yours," Violet said sadly. She sighs and then tells: "I was born away from here. Somewhere definitely outside these lands. My mother and father had their own territory what to protect. Like a deer territory. Times were hard there, and maybe are even now, as hunters... Wolves, sneak around, looking for food everywhere. My days... The first two months there... Were happy. Mom taught me everything I need to know. She told me a story every eve, we made flower crowns together, just for fun at rest times. I ate milk, but mom soon started to teach me over. To grass, pine cones and mushrooms and the like. My father, well, was a full-of-himself stag. He always walked, head up high, those antlers SO big, watching over the territory and every time I asked or talked, I got short and pushing answers. Enough about my father... For me... He looked very honorable, with a secretary bird pelt and real deer mask and BIG zombie antlers! They made me almost run off every time I saw them... My mother, on the other hand, was gentle and caring, beautiful and sweet. She had a real deer mask as well, but dark real deer pelt with fan antlers. Our ancestors had been lived here, in The Endless Forest. So we were like the The Endless Forest deer. One eve, mom told me a wonderful story. About how to enter The Endless Forest itself. Her mom had told her, that if you follow a shallow stream in that forest, see a stone pedestal, Twin God's carve in a rock behind the pedestal and on the side of it, a sharp rock. How to enter it was like this: You put your left hoof on the pedestal, take it off, cut your right anklet with the sharp rock and drop blood on the pedestal and put both hooves on the pedestal, you get into The Forest. The wound eventually disappears, but appearing in The Forest is rather strange. You feel dizzy, like collapsed just from a hit with a log on your head. The pedestal's blood disappears as well, soon enough. Well, my mom visited there every day, as her mother... Could take her somehow back into our forest. So, there is a way to get out, but my mother didn't tell me. It was probably better to her, that if I once get shelter here, I have to stay here. It was there, where my mom got the mask. Soon enough, a pack of wolves have come to our territory. They killed... Killed my father... And we ran... But soon we got surrounded... Mom died... I ran and went to The Endless Forest as my mom told me. That's how I got here. Alone." she told her story. She felt sad, so sad, from recalling the event that had almost killed herself and made lose her parents. Violet fights with tears.
Call me Deery. Smiling
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Bayleen's picture

(places in a track here, if I

(places in a track here, if I haven't already XD I read all of this and it's so lovely! I love those pictures, very beautiful!)
mainpage

DEERTH - I'm terribly sorry

DEERTH - I'm terribly sorry for the delay. I've run out of muse recently. <.> I'll get back to this, though. I promise. ♥

Bayleen - Why thank ya~ >w<
arrowdoe's picture

I swear I'm like 99.99999%

I swear I'm like 99.99999% positive I've already tracked this- but have an odd looking but likely great tasting fawn-cookie anyway.
shaku's picture

I can always find this so

I can always find this so easily, I hadn't actually bothered to track before now.

I really like how this is set up~ I feel like it conveys a good sense of who Emdeaur is.

Arrow - That cookie..is

Arrow - That cookie..is adorable. ;-; -grabbyhands- xDDD And thanks~

Shakurama - < Yeah. I had to.

Anyway. Thank you much~ It was surprisingly easy, seeing that the only thing that's CSS is the background, and the rest of it is just images and tables. xDD Gotta love them tables.
Thanks so much~ ♥
DEERTH's picture

Bump... Have the mind for

Bump... Have the mind for continuing the RP, yet?
Call me Deery. Smiling
Dragon Scroll.
Avvie by me, siggy by Saosin

Oh oh oh. Yes. By all means.

Oh oh oh. Yes. By all means. I actually forgot it was here. <.< /slapped

I'll edit this in a minute with the reply...

Edit: I apologize so much, Deerth...Muse is giving me a very hard time about this RP. I might be able to think of something later, but I'm a bit lost for words right now. I'm so sorry. >.<
Xemi's picture

*smears face all over bio and

*smears face all over bio and runs* 8D <3

-missed this somehow-

-missed this somehow- xDD

Hai thar~ Thankoo. ♥

...-cleans up smears with Windex- >.>


♥. xD
Xemi's picture

8D &hearts;

8D ♥
mismatched's picture

!~I should've tracked this

!~I should've tracked this days ago D:

Haha, it's okay. &hearts;

Haha, it's okay. ♥ Thanks~

Bump because I updated these

Bump because I updated these relationships, ya. <8|
DEERTH's picture

It's okay. Take as much as

It's okay. Eye

Take as much as time you need, just I was in a RP mood that day.
Call me Deery. Smiling
Dragon Scroll.
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shaku's picture

CONGRATS PAPA &hearts; That

CONGRATS PAPA ♥

That was one exciting birth, haha~ Where'd your little girl take off to?

Shaku; LOL. Papa. xDDDD It

Shaku; LOL. Papa. xDDDD

It was. It was very exciting. And lol, her player had to go for a while. <83