Waving through a window; personal

Sybilline's picture


18.02.2024.

Belated happy 2024 to everyone. Still alive here but still with tons of health issues. Currently in the process of setting up a bigger cage and getting a friend for my budgie Olly - he's been with us for more than half a year now, learned to talk, would sleep and perch on our hands and shoulders, but still won't let me cut his nails without throwing a tantrum, sigh.


Giving me the side eye like the true boss of the house he is


20.05.2023.

Not doing well. I'm losing weight, have troubles breathing, my body shakes from the most minor physical activity possible, I'm constantly scared, in pain, there is not a single that I don't just exist in pure suffering. I dread going to sleep from all the nightmares and dread waking up to another day of suffering. I don't have any support irl from any doctor, and I'm sick and tired of all the guilt and feeling like a burden to my parents and everyone that knows me. Whatever this is, it feels like I won't get alive out if it. Hopefully I'm wrong.

22.09.2022.

It's been 6 years since I joined this community. Damn, time flies. I don't know if anyone even remembers me anymore but yeah. I'm not dead yet, sadly perhaps. My life has been progressively going downhill, I got diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome and tons of other shit is making me pretty much stuck to the bed, I've never been this depressed and anxious. Meds seem not to be helping me anymore either.
I miss this place. I miss when I was younger and healthy, not in pain everyday.
To the people who read this, I hope you all are alive and well.

13.03.2021.

Oh wow, it's been a long time since I updated this. Life has been rough, after 2 years of therapy I got diagnosed with depression a few months ago, my anxiety is back and it has brought me various new physical symptoms that I never felt before and it's feeding into my hypochondria. I also broke up with my boyfriend, which is probably the main reason I fell into this shithole again. I got new meds sooo, we'll see if they will help or I'm gonna drop dead. I hope you all are okay and safe, I know I basically stopped talking to everyone on discord ever since I moved on to another game, but I still think about this place from time to time. Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and relive some memories, those were good days.

16.07.2020.

I'm most likely not coming back here.

23.09.2019.


My heart has joined the Thousand...

Not even a month after being through a surgery to have a tumor removed, my old floof passed away from unknown reasons on 18.09.
Hope there is a lot of dandelions here, wherever you are.
HeartClock's picture

~NINJA TRACK~♥ Don't

~NINJA TRACK~♥

Don't worry about it, take your time. You know where to find me if you need anything.
Sig by Lathyrus. ♥
Sybilline's picture

Thank you, it means a lot

Thank you, it means a lot ❤
sig by AceAshling, icon by HeartClock

♥

.
Wyldflower's picture

No need to apologize about

No need to apologize about feeling anxious, take care <3
A track for you ♥

By Draak ♥

Do what you gotta do, friend!

Do what you gotta do, friend! <3
Sybilline's picture

Thank you guys!

Thank you guys!
Pink Happy Heart
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tossercook's picture

AHH I was gone when this was

AHH I was gone when this was posted, a late and loving track!

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Personal/Character Hub
ShrinkingRose's picture

Oh, yeah!

Oh, yeah!
Sybilline's picture

tossercook: Shrinking:

tossercook:
Shrinking:
sig by AceAshling, icon by HeartClock

Hnng, track for you!

Hnng, track for you!
Sybilline's picture

Thank you! &#10084

Thank you! ❤
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Starling's picture

Hi

Hi <3
Sybilline's picture

Hello to you too! ^^ Nice to

Hello to you too! ^^ Nice to see you here ❤
I so need to make Jonquil a bio soon
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Starling's picture

Yes, you do! Ah... it must

Yes, you do!

Ah... it must be really frustrating not being able to get some answers. I hope that tomorrow will help you. Sending positive vibes your way. <3
Sybilline's picture

I agree, she really deserves

I agree, she really deserves a bio after all this time.
And thank you ❤ I really want to hope this will work out. The talk therapy that I went to last time didn't help me at all, so I guess it's time to consider asking for the pills now. I know they would help me a lot, but I'm also so afraid of them :c
Just gotta wait and see what my new therapist will have to say once we get to talk about it.
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whiskeybeast's picture

:alert: \ who said something

:alert: \ who said something about the jonquil's biography?

yes, finally.
i did my waiting! twelve years of it, in azkaban!
Sybilline's picture

LOL! Well hopefully it won't

LOL! Well hopefully it won't take 12 years for real, considering how much I procrastinate everything xD
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I'm happy to hear that you

I'm happy to hear that you are feeling better now, Have been thinking about you ♥
Sybilline's picture

Heyy thank you &#10084

Heyy thank you ❤ hopefully it'll get even better from this point on ^^
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Starling's picture

I am so relieved for you that

I am so relieved for you that you are noticing a difference. Fingers crossed it's all up from here <3
Sybilline's picture

I really hope so too! Thank

I really hope so too! Thank you ❤
sig by AceAshling, icon by HeartClock
Jayternator's picture

Hey there. I know that exact

Hey there. I know that exact feeling of struggling to pull off something many take for granted, having to struggle with mental health myself. I'm sorry to hear you had to deal with that, I've had my fair share of anxiety too. Glad to hear you're feeling better though. Keep going, wishing you the best. ♥
Sybilline's picture

As much as it feels bad to

As much as it feels bad to know that someone is dealing with similar problems, it's also comforting to have people understand what you are going through. Sadly, sometimes it seems that no one else truly understands your struggles but the people who have experienced them too. Thank you for the words of support, they really do mean a lot to me ❤
sig by AceAshling, icon by HeartClock
Jayternator's picture

You took the words right out

You took the words right out of my mouth. It's sad people have to struggle like that, but at the same time comforting to know I'm not completely alone in this... And I gotta agree with that too. I feel many don't really understand what's life like this like. They'll speak of it as if you could simply not have the anxiety, as if it could be helped. Well if it were this easy, I'm sure there wouldn't be this many people suffering because of it. :I
Hang in there. ♥
Sybilline's picture

I feel the same way too, the

I feel the same way too, the lack of empathy that a lot of people show when they hear about anxiety (or any other mental disorder) really concerns me. And what concerns me even more is that even more people think it's something that everyone can fight off without a therapy. They act like antidepressants are a monster which eats people's brains, (because, as they like to say "those are unnatural chemicals and you shouldn't be taking them") but at the same time have no problem taking any other medications - which are as unnatural as my antidepressants are, lol. Heh, I guess I'll never get the logic that some people use.
You too ❤
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Wishing you happy holidays

Wishing you happy holidays dear Sybilline ♥
Sybilline's picture

Happy holidays to you too

Happy holidays to you too Hauta! ^-^ ❤
sig by AceAshling, icon by HeartClock
Pink's picture

Hi Sybilline, this needs

Hi Sybilline,
this needs absolutely a track from/by me!
I´m sorry that I had not enough time to play with you the last days.
But I hope we met soon in TEF and get crazy a little bit. Eye

And I wish you a merry christmas and a wonderful new year (with many funny moments in TEF).


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Sybilline's picture

Ah hello there Pink ^-^ it's

Ah hello there Pink ^-^ it's alright, I haven't been very active in tef lately either, but I too hope we'll meet sometime soon and have a lot of fun!
And thank you, happy holidays to you too my friend ❤
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Vala 's picture

&hearts;

" ~ Lady in Red ~ "

♥ ♥

January babies are the best

January babies are the best -winks loudly-
Hope it was a good one for you!
wyldflower's picture

Happy belated birthday you

Happy belated birthday you <3
HeartClock's picture

Happy birthday! &hearts;

Happy birthday!
Sig by Lathyrus. ♥
Sybilline's picture

Vala: &#10084 Fishy: Hehe yes

Vala: ❤
Fishy: Hehe yes we are *winks back*
I haven't celebrated my bday properly in years now, but I got to spend some nice time with my family which is honestly all I currently need in my life.
Wyldflower, HeartClock; Thank you guys ❤
sig by AceAshling, icon by HeartClock
wyldflower's picture

I was dying in the heat in

I was dying in the heat in Bosnia so I can only imagine how bad it must have been at the coast. Good to hear you enjoyed your time in Croatia though!

I'm so glad we got to meet too, I can't explain how happy I was when you suggested we meet up <3 And seriously, your English was perfect so don't worry about that.
I'll be waiting patiently for you to come visit the UK ;D ♥
Sybilline's picture

It's a bit more bearable when

It's a bit more bearable when you have a sea in front of you :')
shh I know it sucked, but thank u
Gonna make sure I get enough money for my own private plane too so I don't get stuck who-knows-where on my way there xD
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Jayternator's picture

o/ I've been to Makarska

o/ I've been to Makarska several times in the past few years!
Always wrecked by the heat too. Burned as well, despite plastering myself in SPF 30 sunscreen 'till I was white, lmao. Good to know I'm not the only one haha, especially since you come from a warmer country than me.

And yeah crowds can be a bit of a problem there, especially at night and right at the coast... Wasn't pleasant getting constantly brushed against, I did enjoy my holidays though. I think it's a very beautiful place.

Glad to hear you still enjoyed it!
Sybilline's picture

That is so reletable, except

That is so reletable, except that I even use SPF 50 and STILL burn. Seems the sun really hates me :')
Wish I could live by the coast, but somewhere quieter.
I'm glad you liked it too, tho tbh I do get a bit confused of what foreign tourists find so nice about Balkan countries in general, since it all seems so ordinary to me haha.

Also, glad to see you are still here, I was wondering where you vanished. I haven't been in-game for quite some time now either, but feel free to join me whenever u see me <3
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Jayternator's picture

Eh, considering I've been

Eh, considering I've been absolutely covered and still managed to get burned so badly I could barely sleep, I doubt 50 would do much better for me. :') I also noticed that just letting sunlight fall on me burned, as soon as I arrived there, it was that much stronger than what I'm used to.

My guess is they're probably prettier than the tourists' own homes, lmao. I come from a bleak industrial city myself so I really enjoyed the clean streets & air (which also smelled amazing thanks to the ocean), the clear weather, decorative plants everywhere and the overall vibrancy and colorfulness of the area. The mountain range especially, so beautiful to look at from sea level as its tips disappeared behind the clouds...

Thanks <3 Haven't been active here lately but I'm definitely alive and kicking. Feel free to contact me offsite anytime if you'd like to actually!
ShrinkingRose's picture

I'm sorry for your loss, Syb.

I'm sorry for your loss, Syb.
Sybilline's picture

Shrinky:

Shrinky:
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Kaoori's picture

I lost my kitty a couple of

I lost my kitty a couple of months ago. I know how hard it can be. I'm so sorry.
riddledrhyme's picture

So sorry for your loss, they

So sorry for your loss, they were absolutely gorgeous <33
HeartClock's picture

Sorry about your loss... Wish

Sorry about your loss...
Wish I had something else to say but I don't think anything I would say would help anyway. I don't wanna repeat things that you most likely already know.
Sig by Lathyrus. ♥
Sybilline's picture

Thank you all, no matter how

Thank you all, no matter how many times a person goes through losing a pet, no matter how much you think you will be ready for it when it happens, you never are.
I'm sorry to hear about your kitty too Kaoo, let's hope they are both in a better place now..
sig by AceAshling, icon by HeartClock
tossercook's picture

all my love and luck to you,

all my love and luck to you, that is a painful experience and I am here if you need me <3

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Personal/Character Hub
Pink's picture

Hi Sybilline, we dont met for

Hi Sybilline,
we dont met for a long while and I was asking myself what happend.
you will leave? only this community or TEF too?
Does that mean, no longer funny times in TEF with Jonquil?
Oh no, Cu will be very sad to hear that (and me too) Sad
siggi by Sybilline
Sybilline's picture

Hey Pink.. yeah sadly, due to

Hey Pink.. yeah sadly, due to personal reasons I'm probably not going to be playing tef anymore. I will still lurk around the community here and there, but that's about it. I'm sorry if I worried you by suddenly disappearing, and I will miss you and Cu too, you have always been a good company. I might come back one day, but no promises.
Take care <3
sig by AceAshling, icon by HeartClock
Pink's picture

Hi Sybilline. Cu and me are

Hi Sybilline.
Cu and me are remembering you very well. we had so much fun in the forest.
your deer was such a nice little fellow.
I´m so sorry for you pain, this sounds not very good for you. Especially if you can´t do much
to feel better or to do something against it.
try to send you some positive vibes!!!
siggi by Sybilline
Urschanabi's picture

Hey, Sybilline! Of course we

Hey, Sybilline!
Of course we remember you and your lovely Jonquil. Been missing you too.
So sorry to hear you're not feeling well, sending you urgent deer nuzzles!

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