Off topic; No where to go

chiakaitsuki's picture
I really never wanted to post anything like this on this site, but I feel like I don't have many people to talk to. Not because they don't care, but because it's all a burden. No one has to read this, if you are then I am grateful, its mostly so that I feel like I've talked to someone about what I feel.

I feel lonely I guess. I've been dating a guy for about 11 months now, he's my first real boyfriend. And I spend more time on here than I see him in a week. I sort of feel like he doesn't want to try for this relationship. But then I stop and think to myself; 22 years, and someone finally gave a monster like you a chance. No one else will ever try to love you. To understand that I guess you'd have to know a little about me. I'm not fishing for pity or anything like that, I'll admit, I have some emotional problems. Mainly from how I was treated for most of my life. When I was younger I hated everyone. Humans in general were a waste and were nothing but cruel. For a long time I was filled with that rage and hate; which is why I call myself a monster. I go to church, and I know that it's not my place but I feel that I cannot redeem myself for all the hatred I felt growing up. I wanted them to all disappear, save for my grandparents

Sorry, I started to ramble there. And I probably will here too.

Emotions like love are almost heartbreaking for me sometimes. I get too attached and expect too much. I wait for people for more than an hour on a regular basis, I've been backstabbed I don't know how many times, but I keep trying. There are times where I wish I had never been born. Many times, I haven't affected anyone so much as that I will be sorely missed. I think in those times, I'm tired of fighting. Not necessarily in a physical state, but an emotional and mental one. My youth consisted of verbal and emotional abuse, I've had to fight for what little respect I have. Then I feel that most just throw it in my face and mock me. On the mental plane, I can't stop these negative thoughts sometimes. No matter how hard I try, they keep piling up and weigh me down. I don't like to whine all the time. I usually keep it in and carry on. But I'm not as strong and detached as I like to pretend to be.

It's kind of odd, I've told strangers more of my feelings than some of my friends.

If you've read this far, thank-you. I truely mean it. I'm just...tired.
quadraptor's picture

You know, I've said some of

You know, I've said some of the same exact things myself. We all go through this kind of situation where we feel like we're just the worst. Different scenarios but the same sort of feeling regardless. I will admit I've never been in a relationship, but I have gone through anxiety and depression, and it is just not fun at all.

Coming from someone who has gone through this before, please take my advice - Learn to love and accept yourself exactly as you are! I know it's tough but people's opinions shouldn't push you into feeling the way you do. I used to feel just awful about myself because I see so many people more successful than I am, but after slowing down and not worrying about them, I learned I have many strengths that they don't have.

It's good to speak your mind too. When you hold things back it's just like acid, it burns you from the inside out. Having someone to talk to can be very relaxing and getting feedback is a good start. I admit I've vented on here much more than I should have, but after a while I got so much good advice and so much love from this place that I'm a different person. I also wanted to mention another site that I've gone to before - Depression Tribe. They're people going through the same sort of thing and it's a great community to just vent to.

And really, if you need someone to talk to, I'm more than happy to listen. I really enjoy trying to help out the best I can. If you've got Skype you're welcome to contact me at christopher.pocase and I'll gladly help you in any way I can. Just don't give up on yourself and your dreams.

Whenever I need to calm down, my favorite thing to do is to get a nice hot bath with bath salts or bubble bath. It always relaxes me and calms my nerves. I highly recommend it if it will help you as well.


*nuzzles* Stay strong alright? You'll get through this
Staff's picture

I feel the exact same way you

I feel the exact same way you do. Just know I'll always be here if you wanna talk. And just know that you're never alone, no matter how much it feels like you are. <3

Siggy by Shey

FeintHearted's picture

I can relate to so much here

I can relate to so much here that I felt kinda compelled to say something. I won't say much though, as you said, you aren't fishing for pity.

I really know the feeling though. I'm 21 now and have never been in a relationship. Had an offer once but I pushed him away thinking there must be something wrong with him for being the only person to ever show any interest in me.

Other than my writing, the only thing that ever makes me feel any better about it is knowing that there are other people out there going through and surviving these same situations.

That's all, I hope getting all that off your chest made you feel better at least.
Aivilo's picture

I've been awake way too long

I've been awake way too long with way too little sleep to say anything profound, but please know that someone bothered to read the whole thing and sincerely hopes that things get better for you. You aren't a monster, and even if you think this one guy might be the only guy in the whole world who will give you a chance, he isn't. If you aren't happy with him, don't convince yourself that you're trapped there forever because you have no other option. Bring up your concerns with him; I've been in relationships which crumbled primarily because someone had a problem and didn't tell the other, and it hurts to wonder why the other person couldn't tell you until it was too late and he didn't want to try any more. If the relationship is worth having, you two should be able to communicate freely. Who knows, you two might be able to work it out and be that much stronger for it. And if not, there are other guys out there, I promise!
Keep your chin up ♥

With a relationship like

With a relationship like that, with how he is treating you, it is best to move on. He is not worth your time. And hey, I'm 20 and went on my first date this weekend (though it was rather lame lol). You're just late bloomer, and there's nothing wrong with that. And just because your 22 doesn't mean no one wants you, it means you haven't found them yet, and don't worry you will. Smiling
And I know at times you feel the way you do, but I can tell you're a strong person, and you keep going. Don't ever give up, ever. You are strong. Smiling
chiakaitsuki's picture

@quadraptor Thank-you very

@quadraptor Thank-you very much for your encouragement. I really do appreciate it. I do have skype but I've never used it; my username is xbulletloverx. I'm proud to say that I swallowed my fear and anxiety, to tell him how I was feeling about the situation. And the result was positive. I thank-you for your encouragement and support. I will keep the Depression Tribe in mind, when things seem to be going bad. Even if their going well, maybe I can help someone too.

*nuzzles back* I will, and thank-you again for your concern. =]
(>^^)>
chiakaitsuki's picture

@Staff Thank-you for your

@Staff Thank-you for your support, and the same goes to you. =] If you need someone to talk to feel free to talk to me. I'm more than happy to listen and support you.
(>^^)>
chiakaitsuki's picture

@FeintHearted I know how you

@FeintHearted I know how you feel about there being something wrong with someone who shows an interest in you. But your worth it, you're a survivor too. =] <3 You'll make it and come out of your situations for the better.
(>^^)>
chiakaitsuki's picture

@Aivilo Thank-you for reading

@Aivilo Thank-you for reading my post. It really felt good to get it all off of my chest, and to know that some people read it. It really did help me. I took your advice and brought it up to him, it was hard I'll admit since I'm not good at relationships, but the results were positive. Thank-you very much. <3
(>^^)>
keepspeeps's picture

You're lucky to see him each

You're lucky to see him each week.. That's more than I spend with my long-term boyfriend - his work is demanding.
Keeps loves Fay.
chiakaitsuki's picture

@NikaGika Congrats on the

@NikaGika Congrats on the date (even if it was lame lol) There are bad points to the relationship I'll admit, but there are good points too. I also tend to get really emotionally invested in people =/ But thank-you very much for your encouragement. I promise that I won't give up, even if the temptation is there. <3 Thank-you very much.
(>^^)>
chiakaitsuki's picture

@Keepspeeps Awww =[ I'll

@Keepspeeps Awww =[ I'll admit there are lucky points to my relationship. I think that my other life issues coupled with that are just weighing kind of heavy on me right now. =/ I hope that things will change (positively) and you'll get to see him more.
(>^^)>
Aegle's picture

I just got finished with a


I just got finished with a relationship like the one you described. It went on for two and half years before I had to leave the state and he left me the night before I got on the plane. His excuse, I was never a priority in his life and never would be, and that I needed mental help because I wanted to believe I was.
I gave up too much during that relationship and got nothing in return. He wasn't willing to actually try, but I stayed due to the same feelings you have. I let myself get so broken down from that relationship, I still haven't completely found myself again.

I believe if your already doubting the relationship, get out. From personal experience, it won't get better. You'll only become more harden to him not trying and it will eat you apart. I feel the same way you do a lot, but I've now been away from that relationship for 8 months and I'm becoming more comfortable.

This is what I always tell myself, even if you do end up alone the rest of your life, at least you can love yourself. And I make a effort to love myself.

I'm here if you ever need to talk! <3
My skype is: aegleee

-I hope that wasn't a useless rambling-
chiakaitsuki's picture

It's ok to ramble. =] And

It's ok to ramble. =] And that was really really cruel of him to say. You deserve to be treated so much better. Thank-you for your advice, I really do appreciate it. <3 I hope that things get better in your situation too and that you find yourself again, and eventually someone who deserves you. =]
(>^^)>