*sighs*...(real life..meh...)

Anzel's picture
I don't know many people on the community site, so I don't really wanna post there...but if I seem kind-of depressed or anything for a while, this is why...it's a long story, so if you don't want to read, you don't have to.

I'm not asking for any pity. I'm just asking you not to anger at my mood. I'm feeling disappointment, resentment, and a questioning of why I still trusted her this one last time after everything...and knowing she's lost my trust completely. She doesn't deserve the benefit of the doubt.

---

My mom nearly died today...

She got drunk at work. I could hear it in her voice. But no, I gave her the benefit of the doubt. I simply asked her to pick up my allergy medicine from Wal-Mart, and said bye. She works somewhere that's about 8 or 9 minutes from here.

At 6:43 PM, 13 minutes after she was supposed to have gotten out of work, I heard this sound.

Kaplop, kaplop, kaplop. Over and over again, down the road. I couldn't see the road, because it's up on a hill that's beyond our creek and a bunch of trees, making it invisible to us during the summer.

I giggled, thinking it was someone with a junk car. I walked out of the den and saw my dad staring out the window.

I said, "Some junk car, huh?"

He said, "It's mom...she's the only person I know who would drive with flat tires."

I thought: Wait...that's what flat tires sound like? What a strange sound.

My dad walked down our driveway until he got to the little bridge over the creek, and...he suddenly put his hand to his head, shook his head, and started to walk back.

My hopes that it wasn't mom...yeah. They were smashed. I wondered why she didn't fill up the tires on her way home, why she didn't get the meds. Because if she had, she would have been at least 16 or 17 minutes late.

I saw her slowly drive in. My dad walked up and stared at her in the car. She just sat there. Then he came in, apparently helping her walk, as I heard.

He then came in and said, "She smashed the car in a drunk driving accident...she doesn't even remember hitting anything...she could have hit a car, maybe even a person!!!"

I didn't know what to say. He went in and talked to her, and I went outside and looked at the car.

The right tires, both, were in shreds. I never knew there was cloth inside of tires. And there are strange springy wires inside?

There was a scraped dent on the side, a little light bulb thing poking through the metal. It didn't look like she had hit a person. The tires had grass embedded in them, I assumed she simply hit something, not someone.

I told my mom's best friend, and then my dad told me I had to come with him to bring my mom to her brother's place. He gathered up some stuff, and told me he would be a bit, he had to help my mom.

She had tried to go to the bathroom, and had fallen off, and couldn't get up. Honestly.

He had to put her pants back on for her. I waited in the car. I heard him say, "You hit something," over and over again to her because she didn't know what happened, and she slurred out, "No I didn't!!!"...he put her in the car, and she sobbed a bit.

My dad was near crying. We had to make sure she wouldn't try to escape. I knew she wouldn't. Yes, she was suicidal, most likely.

But she was passed out and snoring. And, like Mrs. Horton said, when a person passes out after drinking alcohol, you can't just wake them up...

*sighs*...We took her to her brother's...she woke up, my dad took her to my grandpa's place, which was right next door. She cried, stumbled, fell a few times...

She kept saying, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." I really didn't want to talk to her. She wasn't sober, I wanted to leave...

On the way home...I noticed.

The scraping started right after the bridge. Not our bridge, but the bridge on the main road that ours branches off from. We still don't know how she damaged the tires so horribly, but we know where the dent came from.

The scrapes (from the tire rims) swerved back and forth down the road, until we came to our newly paved road. (well, it was paved a year or two ago)

There was a long, deep black line down the road a ways.

Apparently, the transmission was shot. The car was unfixable.

And when we finally got down our driveway and got out of the car, my dad could smell that apparently she punctured/broke the gas line or something as well. That car is just...junk. It's scrap metal. >_<;

My dad just came home from going to talk to a friend...apparently, a corner is missing off of the bridge. If you see it, you know why.

*sighs*...

I wouldn't mind comments from any of you letting me know you read this...

---

Again, I don't want pity. I just want people to know why I'm acting like this. Oh, and don't pity my mom. She doesn't deserve it after all of these years.

I am really terribly sorry

I am really terribly sorry for you friend. I can't imagine. I am so sorry. Things will get better. 'God tests those who can be burdend.' I have had two terrible summers myself, and that quote is the only ting that seems to give me comfort.
Kumiko's picture

I would feel that way too

I would feel that way too and I'm sure everyone will understand why you are the way you are right now.

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Fan art done by Vesper.

Biography
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Anzel's picture

No religious stuff,

No religious stuff, please...I'm agnostic...religious stuff kind-of bothers me after a while, sorry...
toboe's picture

This isn't really meant as

This isn't really meant as pity, but I am so sorry. I'm really glad your mother is okay though! I am also glad that she didn't hit a person. My friend was driving once, and he hit a woman who stepped ot of the woods into the road. She crashed through the windshield but died instantly. The person driving wasn't drunk, the pedestrian was.

/end rambles

Anyways, if you're ever in need of my comfort, I'll always be here. : D

Anzel's picture

...*giggles*

...*giggles* XDDDDD;;;

Sorry, meep. I couldn't help it, it's the irony. And laughing helps my mind get off of things.

But yeah, I'm glad she didn't hit someone, too. Her dad called on the phone and said that she thinks that the crash happened a few years ago.

Yeeeaaah...:/

*sighs*...of course, my mood dies soon after. Oh well.

Ah! I'm sorry! I hate it

Ah! I'm sorry! I hate it when peole do that! I'm sowwie... I was afraid that would go bad. I coudnt think of anythig elseto say...=( Forgive me I wont do it again!
fayne's picture

I can't say anything without

I can't say anything without sounding pitying. I'm here for you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Moods
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Bios
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Understand us
Anzel's picture

I just meant, I don't really

I just meant, I don't really want any gift art or anything special to cheer me up or anything, I'd kind-of prefer just to let the depression run its course.

I can still do the pic you

I can still do the pic you requested right?
Anzel's picture

Yeah, that's unrelated to

Yeah, that's unrelated to this, lol.

Thats what I thought, just

Thats what I thought, just wanted to make sure. I've already stepped on your toes! *backs up* lol.
Anzel's picture

No, I wasn't angry about it,

No, I wasn't angry about it, I was just saying that I'm not particularly religious, lol.

I understand, I just know

I understand, I just know how some people get I just don't want to-you know... Ima stop now! Goodnight! Hope you feel better soon!!
Her's picture

[hug]

[hug]

*hugs* Anzel.. You are a

*hugs* Anzel.. You are a beautiful person and i wish you all the best for whatever happens in life, because we will always be here for you! I admire how you still play and are on the community site everytime i see you post! *hugs again xD*
Anzel's picture

At least this place is nice,

At least this place is nice, meep...I posted this in the Wajas rant forum, and begged not to be yelled at...so they accused me and my dad of hiding a criminal and said he'd go to jail...*sighs*...Wajas rant forum = not kind...

*wishes for rosy pink forest dawn*

Wahaha...I shouldn't be up this early.

Ironically enough, it's not from being unable to sleep. It's from sneezing caused by my mom having never picked up my allergy medicine that I'm awake. Lol, irony...
Snowrift's picture

You dont really know me well

You dont really know me well around here, but i hope that we could become friends someday. I'm really sorry about your mom. I know what its like to feel like the world is turning on you. Nothing serious like your mom, i just feel like an outcast here, becouse no one knows me. I hope your mom recovers soon! Smiling
Emiva's picture

Oh Anzel... I'm so sorry.

Oh Anzel... I'm so sorry. You have a right to feel the way you feel now. Remember that lots of us might have been through what you have... and you are not alone. Yes, TEF is a wonderful community. I'm happy your mother wasn't killed.



~~~

Ah, Anzel <3 I've been

Ah, Anzel <3 Sad I've been through the issue of losing trust in my mother. Didn't help that she died a few days later.

I understand how you're feeling, and I'm glad that your mum didn't get killed. Hopefully things will work out someday. (God, I sound so corny and cheesy).

Smiling You know I'm always here if you need someone to talk to.

-- Dannii <3