Related to Quad's new outlook on life after
being a tree. Also semi-related to
my recent story as well as
Iugulare's questions to Mr. Sanguine and company.
If you'd like to, you can have your deer reply to Quad in the comments, but it's only if you're up for it.
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"I've had some time to think about all of this.
Where my life is going.
Where it has been.
The successes I've had, though only a few I can think of...
The many failures...the many defeats...
I'm starting to wonder what I have gotten myself into.
I never asked to be the hero, but here I am...
I have suffered and felt horrible pains that I cannot even describe...
I've died...several times...and came back to life in agony...
Each time has taken it's toll on my body, I've started to feel more...tired...
I sometimes wonder...what we're fighting for...
Even when I am standing against the darkness, taking blows to my body, being coiled and bitten by Iugulare's infection and her slaves...
Even when I somehow manage to repel her attacks, and keep safety in our Forest...
Not only are there casualties...ones that I could not protect to save their lives...
But even so...even when I defeat Iugulare...there are many other evils in this Forest...
Am I protecting them as well as the innocent?
Or is it my job to defend them regardless of who they are and what they do in this world?
If I let her win...
What would happen from there?
Would I finally find my peace...or even some sense of normality in life?
Or would I be forever tormented, pained, suffering, dying...?
Could I even bear the thought of...
...What they would think of me if I gave in?
Those I swore to protect...would I be sacrificing their lives over my own selfish needs?
Why?
Why did it have to be me?
There were plenty of strong, brave stags that could have been the Grand Talux...
Why pick a coward like me?
No.
No, I'm not a coward.
I've stood my ground.
I fought on, even when the odds were against us.
Even when everything seemed hopeless...
I managed to defeat the darkness and infection...
I don't know how much longer I may last...
How much more pain and death I have to endure...
But this was given to me for a reason.
Maybe...
Maybe it was because...
...I kept going...
...when others might have given in...
...I am weary...
...Let me rest... 
Not sure what this means for
Incoming wall-o-text "To
He's a small buck, a soothing teal colour accented in silver stripes, a youthful, childish even, human face with dark black eyes settled into his face, oil-black stripes run down his cheeks, like he's been crying tar.
His hooves are like dishes at the top, silver in colour, a single marble-like ball under each plate, and a point attached to that, literally walking on needles. As though someone turned the top of a bishop chess piece on its head and whittled the top ball to a long point.
They look like they would stick to the ground quite well indeed.
His head tosses atop the long neck, throwing locks of fiery red hair from his face.
"But then. I wouldn't be doing what you're doing. Because I don't care about others" he states simply, lifting his long slender legs high as he leaves the blackbuck.
"If something is truly precious to you. What is more important. That thing, or your own health and happiness? If you're worth more, then that thing isn't very important is it?"
His clawed fingers curl against his chest, white eyes closing, a smile tugs at the corners of his lips, images of gray and white fur conjured in his mind, of lavender eyes, of the one he loves.
"If something is truly important, you won't want to change it to suit your own whims"
His forelimb moves down again so that he may rise to stand on all fours.
His head dips still, heated breath washing over the blackbuck, and a hand raises to pluck a crimson feather from his shoulder, settling it behind the stag's ear.
"Red is the colour of rubies, red is the colour of kings. And blood, barons, roses and ripe berries. So many meanings to just one colour..."
he fades like the wind.
But the feather remains.
"What is the point in living selfishly? If one is not living for someone else, they are not living. The only true fulfillment comes from helping others"
He smells like spices, like incense, honey, cloves, his fur reminiscent of silk, grey eyed and bi-coloured antlers. One of black, one of mahogany red.
His head tosses, tines shattering the air itself with the sound of a whistle, or breaking bells, his long tail twirls behind him, cracking like a whip.
His hooves are dainty, they move him easily, little dancing movements. "But at the same time. Never serve someone who would be cruel to you." his weight shifts to his hind legs in a rear, and a moment later he sails over the blackbuck, disappearing amongst the pines.
The last comes thundering after Cain, graceful in his own right, but it's a very different grace. A dancer maybe, but not one of spices and bells, more informal, dance floor movements.
He pauses to look down at the blackbuck from the eyeholes in his half-kirin skull.
"Well well, hey who's this?" he trots near, stops at the sight of the feather and nods simply.
"Life's a party, live it or lose it, joy is the most important thing ever, like, totally!" he takes a moment to leap and buck like a young fawn before taking off after Cain, shouting for him to wait up...
He reflects on their words,
He reflects on their words, and speaks to each after they've passed:
"So I am to remain steadfast, even when things seem their bleakest, even when I am constantly pained and burdened in my struggles. I am to continue fighting, for those I love, for those I honor, for...
I understand. Stand my ground. Thank you, Heika."
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"What is most precious to me is this Forest, and those who dwell in it. Without such a place to treasure...I would have been...", he hesitates, remembering the day he was born well. He was shot, and plummeted off a cliff into a river.
"The Twin Gods rescued me, and brought me here. I understand now that there was a purpose for saving my life that day. Instead of being so bitter about this task, I should be grateful. For if it wasn't for them, I would have died a long time ago.
I'll treasure this feather, Mr. Sanguine. It will remind me to treasure this Forest."
-----
"I've spent my life giving to others. There has been few moments where I was truly selfish. But I'm starting to wonder whether one selfish act would be the end of us all..."
He sighs here.
"I understand what you mean. I won't serve anyone cruel. But the Twin Gods...how could I ever consider them to be cruel? They have helped me during this fight, and they have promised good things in my future. They are much kinder than one would imagine.
But I will heed your words, Cain. Thank you."
-----
"Joy...joy...
This does make me think...
What gave me the most joy...?"
He closed his eyes, and caught a glimpse of Mazey, Zephyr, Axie...and several flashes of his friends' faces.
He opened his eyes, "They all give me joy. How could I ever let them down?"