Picked up on a now-familiar scent while going on a sprint out of sheer boredom. Followed it and found Lats'vel alone (or so he thought; didn't see a sleeping Kaeltiir at first). Took this as an opportunity to personally thank the boar for his help the other day, and to apologize for being an ass. His apology took the form of a clumsy bow because let's face it, he's awkward enough as he is, but the boar seemed to get it and was pretty welcoming. Watched in confusion as Lats'vel began to stomp the ground, unsure of what was going on. Was it a threat, a warning or something else? Stared uncertainly like an idiot, finally getting it when the frustrated boar plopped down and back up. Ohhh...right, yeah, knew that all along. Finally settled down, embarrassed but at least Lats' was satisfied. Felt a little annoyed with himself for taking orders, but A) Lats'vel is freaking huge and scary, and B) he owed the boar that much anyway for looking out for him. Feels a twinge of, gasp, respect developing for Big Bacon, though yeah he would totally never admit that. Pffright.
Almost instantly felt bored just sitting. Scoped out Anonymous off in the distance and went over to check him out. Erratically sniffed and rubbed experimentally to see how macho and menacing he could make himself out to be (and mayyybe trying to show off for Lats' as well but lolyeahsure dream on kid), but Anon only seemed confused. Meh, oh well. Decided the stag was interesting and tried to get him to romp/spar. Anon couldn't quite seem to get the hang of it and soon wandered off. Allllrighty then. Huffed and plopped back down near Lats' again. Itching to spar with a tree, but wondering if that would annoy the boar/make him wonder if he was trying to bust his head open again.
Spazzed a bit when a few deer came crashing by; twitchy weirdo mode initiated. Smacked a tree and refocused attention on Anon, who had wandered back. Messed with him a little more, then started a staring contest. Getting really creeped out by that mask. Basically everything resulted in the two trying to out-weird each other. Stared warily at Rajih when he appeared, contemplated, then went in for a couple of sniffs. Satisfied when the Thing backed up. Returned to his former position by Lats' after Anon left again and when he got fed up by random deer shenanigans. Later sneezed/spat at by Rajih, too stunned to do anything except watch the Thing leave.
Sat stewing for a bit, not wanting to let that go. Hell no. Finally got up and followed Rajih's scent back to the Old Oak. Hesitated when he saw that the Thing was sleeping near his equal. He had no intention of fighting, but seeing as how the Things seemed close to Lats', he might as well try to make peace. Rajih stiffly got up and mock-charged, but the buck stood his ground. Made a couple of friendly yet wary gestures and got a sniff in. The Thing seemed to loosen up at this, and to Hannibal's surprise he invited him to sit. Did so, stiffening when Rajih nuzzled him but took this as a good thing. Didn't expect everything to be forgiven so easily, but hey, works for him. Was tense for a bit, but soon relaxed when Rajih showed no signs of changing his mind. Decided that he really needed to stop being so paranoid all the time (good luck with that, bub).
a loyal and giving friend a cocky weirdo to strangers fast talker, quick thinker standoffish to authority "big brother" complex day-by-day mentality self-destructive trouble-maker insomniac wanderer sarcastic thief
past is a mystery; wishes to recover his memories entered the forest through De Drinkplaats stole his skull mask from a creature who cursed him curse left him antlerless and changed his picto into a 'target' makes up for it with speed, footwork and powerful kicks very bitter over the matter; will not recount it to anyone puts on a 'tough guy' visage; utterly fails at it but persists does his damnedest to not show weakness getting his arse handed to him is inevitable hyperactive; can't stay still for extended periods of time plays by himself a lot; 'spars' with rocks and trees less likely to be a spaz when with quiet company has a soft spot for kids; playful, protective; a brotherly figure
something else goes here idk
relationships?? stuff sdkjf
Hannibal is a character and does not represent his player.
Art and concept belongs to moi.
mechanical.melancholy@gmail.com
Ariana exhaled softly at this, nodding her head lightly. Her emerald green eyes studied something in the distance before they wandered towards Hannibal, now focused on his pale face. "I feel as if I'm boring you to death.. you may leave, if you want to. I'm sure that there are more exciting things out there." Her voice was barely audible, and almost went out at the end. The doe's gaze was soft, though she stopped herself from looking sad. If she looked sad, then he'd automatically want to stay, right? She didn't want sympathy-- she wanted to have someone that would stay with her because they wanted to, not because she looked helpless and weak.
Oh my god these two...I'm trying really hard not to smile like an idiot so my folks don't think I've completely lost it, but they're just too cute for their own good. I can't wait for them to meet in game, and I can't wait for any little adventures that may happen later on. Zash wants to help him in any way he can, especially after seeing him so upset over whatever is troubling him. He's basically just committed himself to that in this moment. Haha. Thank you for the RP!
Awwh, I am grinning like a fool over here as well! These two are absolutely adorable, skjdf~ They would have some awesome (or awful) adventures, two rowdy boys still trying to figure out their lives. Hannibal wants to help Zash as well; he rarely ever gets committed like that, especially with someone who is around his age or older. So, Zash is definitely special to him! Cannot wait for them to officially meet, eee~ ;u; You are quite welcome dear, and thank you as well! 'Til next time~ ♥
Oh and Bunny, I will get back to your RP very soon! Gotta go for the night now, take care. ♥
Salka- Awe! Yes I think it'll be a good time for them, that's for sure! Can't wait for those RPs.
Bunny:
Haha, he's always up for meeting a new potential friend! Feel free to start an RP on his bio, and if not, I can think of something to start on Ariana's in a bit.
[Haha, I figured as much! For a moment there I was worried that he was showing up as a nameless, so I relogged him just to be sure. Hate it when that happens, sob. @.@]
Blinked in surprised, and then chuckled heartily. "Boring me? Hardly. I may be fidgety, but I'm not always looking for some excitement," he replied with a good-natured grin, the faltering tone of her voice not escaping his notice. Neither did the look of sadness that briefly flickered and fizzled in her eyes. "Hey now, don't worry about it. You're totally not tying me down; I'm a big boy who can make my own decisions," the buck added with another chuckle and a reassuring nod.
Zash glanced up after coming around from where he had been half asleep...or fully asleep. Probably the latter since his mind was foggy. "Hey Hannibal..." he trailed off, staring off into space a moment as he tried to sort out his thoughts enough to wake up, "How long have been there?"
The buck had been staring into space for quite a while. When he found Zash, he was overjoyed but also bummed to see that the other male was sleeping. Well, not everyone could be like Hannibal, i.e. barely functioning with dismissive snooze time (and in a world where coffee did not exist, no less). He wasn't sure what possessed him to watch over the buck while he slept, but here he was. It didn't occur to him until now, as Zash stirred awake, that is might be viewed as creepy. But nothing in the grey's tone seemed to even hint at that. "Oh...hey," he began with an awkward half-smile, shifting his weight little as he lightly cleared his throat. "Eh, not long. Sorry if I startled you. Um...I can leave if you'd like. I don't want you to think that you need to stay awake."
"No, it's alright," he didn't really seem like he was all there, but his gaze snapped back to Hannibal, his head tilting just enough to catch his expression. "I just haven't been sleeping well, is all. A nice nap was all I needed..." he shifted around a bit, lifting his head up, "You doing alright?"
The grey sounded sincere enough, and Hannibal let out a silent breath of relief. His smile stretched a little wider when he caught the other's gaze. A nap...he couldn't remember the last time he had one, himself. His dreams tended to be more vivid when he napped, and so he learned to just avoid them. "Yeah...I'm doing fine. Well, better now," he replied with a grin, flicking one ear lazily. "How about you? Just chilling?" It never occurred to him that Zash might not even know what "chilling" meant.
Zash frowned, "I'm...I'm just being cold? Getting colder?" The fact that he didn't understand the word bothered him quite a bit. He used to consider himself...smart before he died. He had heard Hannibal use the word before, but had danced around it, searching for a meaning that might have been what he meant through the rest of the sentence. At the time it didn't bother him. Now, hearing it again, it did. He could translate anything if he had the resources. He couldn't pinpoint what that word meant at all though. He looked back up at Hannibal, waiting for an answer.
Hannibal blinked at this, his own smile melting into a subtle frown. Getting colder? Eh? Maybe Zash has napped just a little too long...oh! Right. Zash's world was different from Hannibal's own, and so maybe they had different ways and words to describe similar things. The buck's cheeks flushed a little, feeling bad for confusing his friend. "Oh, ah...chilling. It's like...you know, relaxing. Taking a load off. Finding some quiet time," the freckled buck explained, that trademark half-grin cutting across his features. It was more of a nervous grin, really. "I guess some of what I say wouldn't make sense to you. Just let me know if I sound weirder than usual, alright?" he added with a chuckle, the flush remaining on his cheeks.
"Alright," he smiled as well, "I'll cut you off halfway through a sentence if I hear a word I can't make head or tails of." he gave a nod before setting to address his earlier question, "Wasn't doing too well earlier," he admitted, hesitating before pressing on to explain in a soft voice, "I had to accept that one of my best friends is...is really gone for good and...yeah. I spent a good deal over that until I realized I should be thinking of the good times, not the bad." he shrugged, "but yeah, okay now, I guess...and you probably don't want to handle that, do you?[/]" the last part he had just realized, feeling heat flush across his face. He tended to trust too quickly.
Oh...he wasn't expecting this. Immediately the smile melted as the buck dropped his gaze, ears sliding back. He was not sure what to say to this at first, and so he slowly nodded to show that he understood. Remained silent for a moment, but looked up quizzically at the question directed at him. Handle...? "No, it's okay. I'm glad you're doing better now," he said softly, tilting his head. "You're not a bother, if that's what you mean. I just...I am very sorry for your loss. It's never easy, but you're strong enough to pull through." Offered a ghost of a smile at this. "Stronger than me. And I don't come to admit that very easily." It was true; Hannibal could barely even handle the concept of death itself, no matter how much of a tough cookie he strove to make himself out to be.
Zash nodded, "In our darkest times we see what we're really made of. We see how much we're willing to bend and break. How much we're willing to accept, give up and what we're willing to sacrifice." He glanced back at him, offering a half smile, "You're stronger than you give yourself credit for, or stronger than you realize. It sounds silly, I know, but it's true."
Those words were very much profound, and Hannibal gazed over the other male with awe. He was a profound creature in general, and thought very deeply for his age. Hannibal had his moments, but not nearly on this level. Zash had been through so much, for better or worse, and that changes a person. Helps them grow, and to see. Returned the smile, widening it as his cheeks warmed up once again. "Heh...that's nice of you to say, really. I'm not entirely sold on it, but what you just said applies to you too." He wanted to add that no one had told him such a thing before, and that it truly made him feel like he was worth something, but how corny would that sound? Approximately, extremely corny. Was silent for a moment before adding, "Really, it does apply to you. Don't try to deny it, alright? I won't allow it." The smile stretched into a grin, accompanied with a wink. Whoa, when was the last time he even winked? The buck simply felt more alive when he was around this other buck that he was literally just met.
Zash snorted, whether from a mix of the winking Hannibal's response, or how adamant the male was in general. Zash could say all he wanted but he didn't allow half of what he said apply to himself. He could flat out lie to everyone else if he felt like it, but he rarely allowed himself to believe any lies he tried to tell himself. It was much more complicated and usually sounded worse coming from his own thoughts. He knew where his faults were. He wasn't strong. Strong willed, sure, but that was both a strength and a weakness. He couldn't really protect anyone and walk away alive. He knew that as much as everyone who looked at him knew that. He was pitiful. The only thing he had to offer was an nearly constant loyalty and friendship, which seemed good enough for some, but it drove him up a wall. He wanted them to feel physically safe around him too. Know that they didn't need someone else to play guard. He could do that too. Yet he couldn't. He couldn't even when he still had his arm, eye and ear intact.
"Alright..." He replied quietly his brown eye watching the other's expression, "I'll heed those words if you do as well." he didn't know what made Hannibal try to convince him he was stronger than he seemed aside from them both trying the same trick on the other. He didn't know what Hannibal was uncomfortable with about himself, but Zash didn't feel the need to pry into that. He had his own montage of personal problems he had to either compensate for or vanquish and try to overcome. He could only assume the other male had something similar or perhaps greater, if he was trying to hide from someone.
Was not sure what the snort was in response to, but it wasn't mocking in nature so that was reassuring. Hannibal guessed that Zash didn't believe him when he insisted that the grey was strong. Well, he didn't care what the grey said to that otherwise: anyone who can survive with a missing leg, eye and ear was one tough cookie. Strength was not just a physical aspect, after all. It was more than what Hannibal could say of himself. He did not pity the buck (the grey got along just fine after all), but he was still concerned about him. Indeed, the freckle-face had not felt such a desire to watch over someone his age before. Someone needed to guard the guardian.
"Sounds good to me. It's a deal," he replied with a half-smile. The buck certainly had his own demons, some of which were foggier in his memories than others, but he was never really one for talking about himself. He would gladly showboat himself around all day, chest puffed and tail flagged high, but he didn't share anything deeper than that. He was never quite comfortable enough around others to expose his soul, his experiences and troubles, but he was quickly approaching that level with Zash. But would the grey want to even hear about his problems at all? Why would he? And so all the old insecurities came creeping back. Chewing his lip, Hannibal looked away and pretended to take interest in a stag that was weaving around some trees ahead of them. "There are so many worlds you could go to, theoretically, but you always come back here. I guess in a way this place is like home." It was more of a dreamy observation than a question.
It's a deal... Zash felt the urge to shake his hand on it, but quickly dropped the thought when he realized that neither of them had hands. He found it to be a rather entertaining concept of them trying to shake hands though. It'd be more like high fiving with hooves. There are so many worlds you could go to, theoretically, but you always come back here. I guess in a way this place is like home... It took Zash a second to pull his thoughts away and follow Hannibal's.
"Yes...home or a haven. It has its dangers, but it's a home nonetheless." he shrugged and glanced toward the stag that was weaving about the trees. He raised an eyebrow, puzzled, but allowed it to pass. Just another interesting figure in this place. Zash didn't have a real home, it was easy to consider the Forest one merely by default. "...family and friends help build a home too." A genuine smile crossed his face.
[Pff haha, I had the best visual imagining them giving each other a high-five with hooves. Amazing XD]
Hannibal was approaching the same thought process as the grey was. Home... He had not been here very long, but this place was sure friendlier than his real home. It was liberating, that feeling of being able to live again with a clean slate. His demons couldn't follow him here...not physically, anyway. He could escape them, but he couldn't escape his mind. That was alright, though; he would learn to cope. Somehow, someday.
The buck's smile tugged gently up at the mention of family and friends, and he met the grey's eyes. A wee bit of warmth returned to his face, but it was a sign of endearment and not embarrassment. Briefly he wondered what good deed he could have possibly made in his short life to earn the privilege of meeting the grey. "Family and friends are what matters in the end, no matter what," he concurred, his smile widening to match Zash's own. He didn't even care how corny all of this sounded right now, as long as there were no witnesses. Didn't want anyone thinking he was going soft.
Pffttt. Hannibal going soft? Nooo. Of course not. And haha, I know right? It's an entertaining thought.
"Yes," he nodded, meeting his gaze for a few moments before glancing away, "...exactly." he stared off into space for a few moments, trying to find something else to talk about. Something to ask. But everything he thought of asking was stuff that was off limits. "You said you wanted to remember who you used to be?" He couldn't recall all of their previous conversation, but he thought that Hannibal had established that he thought he had some sort of past life.
"Alright.. just know that you can leave whenever you want." The doe mumbled out, slowly rising to her long legs. Glancing around the area, she looked back to him, tilting her head. "I'm going to go get a drink. Would you like to come along?" She'd tilt her head questioningly, a small smile spread across her face now.
Waning-Sun The buck didn't really mind the extended periods of silence. He could be quite a talker once he got going, but when he was with Zash he felt that he didn't need to be a motormouth. In fact, it felt downright unnecessary. He had been surprising himself to find that the silence between them didn't make him feel uncomfortable at all. However, he was always happy to hear that the grey was curious about some aspect of his life. The question that the other male posed now prompted him to nibble on his lip again, his eyes and ears shifting with brief uncertainty as he thought of how to answer. "Yeah...well, I guess. I don't think I'll like what I will find out, but...it's for closure, you know?" Sighed and returned his gaze to the grey's, shifting his weight slightly. "Did you find that, closure? Knowing who you were, I mean. Do you regret remembering your past, and your old self?" He didn't mean to swing it back onto Zash; he just wasn't used to talking about himself, and the grey intrigued him to no end. And now he sought advice from him, this buck who was on his level.
Bunnycorn With a good-natured grin the buck bowed his head slightly. "I will remember that." He watched as she rose to her hooves, unsure of whether he should stand up as well. But when she invited him to follow her, his smile broadened and he was standing up in a blink. "Yeah, I could use a drink too. Lead the way," he replied, bounding off to the side in one fluid motion and flagging his tail playfully.
"Alright," Ariana giggled softly, barely even audible. That was the first time in a long time she's laughed-- and she planned on letting it stay unheard as she was rather embarrassed of it. Taking off into a trot, the doe watched as he flagged his tail, and did the same with hers. She easily caught up with the young buck on long and slender legs, brushing past him with another soft laugh. Her silver hair curled past her as she ran, seemingly flowing like the water they were going to go drink.
Zash sighed, his mind working to figure out how to best answer that. "Did I get closure?" why not start with the question, "No...well...yes and no. I died. But...I can go home whenever I want to, it's just that...there I am dead....I didn't really get closure, because for me, there's no differentiation between the person I was and...this body here. I am still the same being. I could technically go home if I wanted to. Make up some wild story about a misidentified death, hiding out behind enemy lines until my wounds healed up and the War ended and I could go home...my father knows of me being alive...it wouldn't be that hard...
"But my friends don't know. My best friend has a ring on her finger and a baby on her hip already...and I've only been in the ground for three years." A pained look crossed his face at that, but he pressed on to get to his point, "It's sort of hard to be 'stuck' when everyone you ever knew in your past is moving forward. Not only are they moving forward, but moving forward just fine without you. It would be unsettling for them to find me alive again...and I don't even know if I would fit in with them anymore...to be honest..." he sighed, shaking his head. By the Gods he rambled so much, "But I'm really glad I knew who I was when I came here. If I didn't, I would have killed myself within a month, maybe less than that. I woke up so angry...and so confused...if I didn't have an inkling as to who I was before I came here...what I was doing at my death... I would have gone mad just trying to make sense of my predicament. I don't regret it. I regret what I did, my actions, but I don't regret who I was...because I still am that person. Just on a new chapter in my life."
Bunnycorn That signature grin cut across the buck's face as he watched Ariana trot, jump and laugh about. He felt a little relieved that she didn't push for him to join in her festivities because, well, what tough guy pranced around? Still, he was happy that she was happy; he felt bad that she was in such a downer mood before. Soon they reached the shore of the pond, and it wasn't until then that Hannibal realized just how thirsty he was. Flipping the skull back onto his neck he voraciously drank his fill, not taking in his surroundings before doing so though he was aware of Ariana's presence. After a long moment he paused and grinned sheepishly up at her, his cheeks bulging with water. Such manners!
Waning-Sun I've only been in the ground for three years... Is that what they called death back in Zash's world? And, a war? Hannibal had had some idea that Zash was once a warrior of some sort, but a whole war... His appreciation for the buck strengthened at this realization. It sure took a hell of a lot of bravery to be a part of something so full of loss and destruction. Hannibal listened as Zash continued to speak, and a pained look crossed his face to match the other male's own as he explained the situation with his friends and loved ones. Just hearing those very words brought a heaviness to the buck's heart. Was it really so easy for others to move on like that? What did this mean for the few that he cared for back at his own home? They must be just fine without him, too.
Hannibal began to chew his lip again, ears sliding back in thought and mounting distress, but the other male's self-proclaimed 'rambling' was comforting to him despite harsh realities. To him, Zash was his rock and anchor; his reassurance that there is a home away from home, and life after life. The more he heard Zash's story the more he wished to uncover his own past, no matter how scared the very idea made him.
I woke up so angry...and so confused... Hannibal looked up at this, surprised. He had felt the safe exact way when he stirred into consciousness within the strange fountain. The portal had spit him out there, and although he had willingly passed through it he still felt so angry. He felt that pieces of himself were missing, blank spaces dominating his memories. When he discovered that beating trees made him feel good, he began to do it every day, sometimes too fiercely. Once he gave himself a slight concussion and a head wound; he just couldn't stop. All of those frustrations came out, and it just became a ritual. But he didn't care about getting hurt; he was self-destructive, and believed he deserved all that happened to him. It was all about manning up and accepting it.
The buck remained silent for a long moment after Zash finished speaking, his ears slowly sliding forward again as he let out a breath that he had held in for who knew how long. "It's all been really crappy for you, but you have an admirably good attitude about it. I mean, I'm scared of figuring myself out for the very same reasons you had: going crazy and all that. Sometimes I feel like it, but...I don't even know if coming to terms with my past will make me better or worse." Met Zash's gaze sympathetically. "I mean...like you said, family and friends move on. So I'm back to wondering that the point would be for me. Is there any closure at all when you can't go back and change anything? When you can't see them again, or make amends?" Looked away with another sigh. "You just...end up being haunted. Yanno?"
[Gah, sorry for the novel dear! Please don't feel obligated to match it in length asdhsg ;n;]
Ariana was disappointed to see that he didn't hop around with her, but it didn't take long for them to reach the pond. Trotting forth, she waded into the cool water, glancing around for others only to see that the area was empty. Bending down, she stuck her mouth into the water, not even able to get a drink before glancing up. "Thirsty?" The doe would voice out, laughing softly as she saw the water dripping from his lips and his cheeks bulged. Lapping at the liquid, she soon got her fill, and stepped back from it. This wasn't the end of what she had in mind, though. Turning slightly, she'd lift her front right leg and let it plunge into the water, droplets flying in his direction. Ariana smiled innocently and backed up, tilting her head. "Oh, sorry!"
"Haunted," he mused. That was a good way to describe things like that. He was haunted by flashbacks and echoes of memories too. His expression changed to a slight frown, debating if he should tell him a couple of those problems of his, just in case he ever found himself in Hannibal's company when one of those memories decided to rear its ugly head. Maybe he should consider mentioning that before...nah. He hadn't bothered to tell many of his other friends. He figured he could explain it when that happened. He doubted Hannibal and him would find themselves in a thunderstorm, or...around fireworks...anytime soon. Even if they did, what were the odds that they were in each other's company at the time it happened? He wasn't willing to figure those odds out, but they seemed rather low. Not impossible. Just low. "That's one way to consider it. It honestly falls down to how you handle things. Some people get eaten up by the monsters their pasts create. Especially more so when they cannot change them. Others accept them for what they are and still others embrace the past as the past mistakes and move on. That's probably the healthiest for you, honestly...if you were wondering on that." he muttered.
"Closure doesn't just have to be something that works out for you. It could be the simple knowledge of how the past is doing without you; feeding your curiosity." he shrugged, looking up from where his gaze had wandered to the ground to stare him in the eye, "Stops you from wondering. From questioning how they are. Sometimes knowing they are well enough is better than knowing nothing at all. I am not proud of my past. I did a lot of stupid, selfish things. But I know I did them. I know how my friends- some of them- are okay on their own. Even though that hurts more than anything, it brings me peace of mind too. They're okay without me. I can move on. That in and of itself is closure; the knowledge you can move on." His gaze faltered, slipping back to the grass in front of his hooves, "Now if it's bad...if they're not doing well, if they're worse off than before..." he sighed, "There might not be a way to correct it, even if you wanted to. You would have to chose whether or not you would allow that knowledge to destroy you or not."
[It's okay. I'm tired, but he likes to ramble and talk in circles. I apologize if he doesn't make much sense or give you enough to go off of. I just sort of type what comes to head first, then edit it out later if need be with this boy.]
Bunnycorn He never would've admitted it, but the splash actually caught him by surprise. The buck jumped slightly when cold droplets hit the side of his face, but he quickly recovered and jumped into a playful stance with a growl. "You call that a splash?" he challenged and, with a wide grin, swiftly turned on his heels and kicked up a torrent of water in Ariana's direction. Chuckled and bounded off to the side, splashing up some more water as he did so, soaking his chest and underbelly.
Waning-Sun Embrace the past and move on... Zash was right, of course, but if only it was ever that easy. Although his memories were foggy and muddled, and more often times than not almost completely incomprehensible, Hannibal's stomach roiled from the underlying awareness of his past. Awareness, but without knowledge of what exactly happened. They were ghosts of memories, gnawing at his skull. There were no memories, and yet there were memories. Two questions had plagued him since he had entered the forest: how could he uncover those memories, and would it end him? Physically and mentally, he may become consumed by them, and yet the very same fate awaited him if they were left to be ignored. Why did it have to be this way...
Regardless of his worries, Hannibal listened just as intently as he always did when Zash spoke. The two bucks were so alike, and yet they were also polar opposites. Hannibal let his insecurities get in his way; he felt powerless to stop it. He went with the flow, but in the back of his mind he clung to those demons out of fear. What if he let go of them? What would happen to him then? The buck fell silent for a long moment after Zash finished speaking, his eyes focused on nothing in particular as he turned everything over in his mind. "You're right," he said slowly, his gaze gradually returning to the grey's. "But it's stupid of me to be afraid. I shouldn't be. I want peace of mind too, but...I just don't know what will happen if I learn everything. If I remember...everything." Bit his lip with a long sigh, then chuckled dryly. "Man...don't let anyone know I'm like this, okay? This really isn't helping my case. Gotta keep up an image, yanno?"
[Awh no worries at all, it made perfect sense to me! n_n Also I'm the same way dskjafh]
[Okay, good! And poor baby. If I happen to catch him in game later expect Zash to come sit vigil with him. Apologizing for the shortness, I need to get off.]
Zash couldn't help but laugh with the last remark, "Don't worry, Hannibal. Your secrets are safe with me." he promised, only to add quietly, "It's natural to be scared though, only a fool wouldn't feel fear. I don't know what you'll find, but if you think it'll bring you peace of mind knowing...." he shrugged, trailing off.
[Haha, "poor baby" my butt! Silly guy needs to stop punching trees with his face! :9 That would be so sweet, and no worries at all! ♥ Hannibal will be in for a while; I'm afk off-and-on until tonight, bleh.]
The buck grinned widely at Zash's promise, not feeling too embarrassed anymore. The grey was quite possibly the most non-judgmental creature that he had met, and he was forever grateful for it. As the grey went on the smile melted slightly, and the antlerless buck nodded his head with a small sigh. "Yeah...that's what I've told myself many times, but it's nice to hear it from you. Makes it feel more...believable." The corners of his mouth twitched up a little, and he bowed his head again. "Thank you..." He mumbled this, but he meant it with all of his being. The other male truly brought him down to earth, and he was still overwhelmed by Zash's kindness. Lapsed into a comfortable silence once more, breathing steadily as he attempted to clear his mind. He found that with Zash by his side, it was much easier to do.
Makes it feel more believable... Zash nodded at the male's thanks, "Don't mention it. Sometimes hearing someone else share similar beliefs makes it easier to believe it yourself." he fell into the silence afterward, simply enjoying his company.
[He should...but he probably won't anytime soon. Stupid boy. :/]
Nodded slowly as well, chuckling quietly before shifting his weight again, his back legs tucked in tight beneath him. "I didn't even believe that could be possible until now," he admitted with a sheepish smile, and then joined the grey in the comfortable silence. For a while he debated asking Zash more about his past, but he had already bothered him too much on the matter. He was grateful that the grey didn't mind discussing it, but still, it must be exhausting to recount everything. Hannibal did wonder one thing at the moment, however, and he could not stop himself from opening his mouth again. "Do you think that...when the ones we loved back home, when they die...do you think they'll end up here also?" he asked quietly while swallowing back a nervous lump in his throat. Still wasn't certain if he himself had died, or if he was reborn or what. Everything was one big, annoying mystery.
Tracking (Again ror) as Harry spent some time with him this evening but Hanni was passed out/sleeping/AFK. Do you mind if I dump an rp in here or do you have enough on your plate right now? (I was gunna wait until i was noticed you see, but I have to leave 8CC)
I'M NOT SORRY
8U I AM SO DONE RN
I AM SO DONE RN
-scoots across this page
< u >
QUIT LEAVIN BUTTRAILS ON MY
QUIT LEAVIN BUTTRAILS ON MY PAGE RAV
XEMI WHAT NO
NO
Profile picture by ahimsa ♥
Pixel Wis by squeegie~
POPPY I AM WEARING MY DRINK
I AM WEARING MY DRINK NOW OMFG
Ariana exhaled softly at
Oh SO NOT SORRY
SO
NOTSORRYProfile picture by ahimsa ♥
Pixel Wis by squeegie~
You minx! ♥ -steals
-steals all of your gifs keke-
Oh my god these two...I'm
-scream- I think Zash and
Awwh, I am grinning like a
Oh and Bunny, I will get back to your RP very soon! Gotta go for the night now, take care. ♥
Salka- Awe! Yes I think it'll
Bunny:
Haha, he's always up for meeting a new potential friend! Feel free to start an RP on his bio, and if not, I can think of something to start on Ariana's in a bit.
I cannot wait either, eee~ c:
Didn't recognize Han at
[Haha, I figured as much! For
Blinked in surprised, and then chuckled heartily. "Boring me? Hardly. I may be fidgety, but I'm not always looking for some excitement," he replied with a good-natured grin, the faltering tone of her voice not escaping his notice. Neither did the look of sadness that briefly flickered and fizzled in her eyes. "Hey now, don't worry about it. You're totally not tying me down; I'm a big boy who can make my own decisions," the buck added with another chuckle and a reassuring nod.
Would it be alright if I
That is totally fine sweetie!
Zash glanced up after coming
The buck had been staring
"No, it's alright," he didn't
The grey sounded sincere
Zash frowned, "I'm...I'm just
Hannibal blinked at this, his
"Alright," he smiled as well,
Oh...he wasn't expecting
Zash nodded, "In our darkest
Those words were very much
Zash snorted, whether from a
"Alright..." He replied quietly his brown eye watching the other's expression, "I'll heed those words if you do as well." he didn't know what made Hannibal try to convince him he was stronger than he seemed aside from them both trying the same trick on the other. He didn't know what Hannibal was uncomfortable with about himself, but Zash didn't feel the need to pry into that. He had his own montage of personal problems he had to either compensate for or vanquish and try to overcome. He could only assume the other male had something similar or perhaps greater, if he was trying to hide from someone.
Was not sure what the snort
"Sounds good to me. It's a deal," he replied with a half-smile. The buck certainly had his own demons, some of which were foggier in his memories than others, but he was never really one for talking about himself. He would gladly showboat himself around all day, chest puffed and tail flagged high, but he didn't share anything deeper than that. He was never quite comfortable enough around others to expose his soul, his experiences and troubles, but he was quickly approaching that level with Zash. But would the grey want to even hear about his problems at all? Why would he? And so all the old insecurities came creeping back. Chewing his lip, Hannibal looked away and pretended to take interest in a stag that was weaving around some trees ahead of them. "There are so many worlds you could go to, theoretically, but you always come back here. I guess in a way this place is like home." It was more of a dreamy observation than a question.
It's a deal... Zash felt the
There are so many worlds you could go to, theoretically, but you always come back here. I guess in a way this place is like home... It took Zash a second to pull his thoughts away and follow Hannibal's.
"Yes...home or a haven. It has its dangers, but it's a home nonetheless." he shrugged and glanced toward the stag that was weaving about the trees. He raised an eyebrow, puzzled, but allowed it to pass. Just another interesting figure in this place. Zash didn't have a real home, it was easy to consider the Forest one merely by default. "...family and friends help build a home too." A genuine smile crossed his face.
[Pff haha, I had the best
Hannibal was approaching the same thought process as the grey was. Home... He had not been here very long, but this place was sure friendlier than his real home. It was liberating, that feeling of being able to live again with a clean slate. His demons couldn't follow him here...not physically, anyway. He could escape them, but he couldn't escape his mind. That was alright, though; he would learn to cope. Somehow, someday.
The buck's smile tugged gently up at the mention of family and friends, and he met the grey's eyes. A wee bit of warmth returned to his face, but it was a sign of endearment and not embarrassment. Briefly he wondered what good deed he could have possibly made in his short life to earn the privilege of meeting the grey. "Family and friends are what matters in the end, no matter what," he concurred, his smile widening to match Zash's own. He didn't even care how corny all of this sounded right now, as long as there were no witnesses. Didn't want anyone thinking he was going soft.
Pffttt. Hannibal going soft?
"Yes," he nodded, meeting his gaze for a few moments before glancing away, "...exactly." he stared off into space for a few moments, trying to find something else to talk about. Something to ask. But everything he thought of asking was stuff that was off limits. "You said you wanted to remember who you used to be?" He couldn't recall all of their previous conversation, but he thought that Hannibal had established that he thought he had some sort of past life.
Hannibal`s such a softy
Profile picture by ahimsa ♥
Pixel Wis by squeegie~
"Alright.. just know that you
( asdfgh sorry ;; )
Rofl, Poppy!! -chases you out
Waning-Sun
The buck didn't really mind the extended periods of silence. He could be quite a talker once he got going, but when he was with Zash he felt that he didn't need to be a motormouth. In fact, it felt downright unnecessary. He had been surprising himself to find that the silence between them didn't make him feel uncomfortable at all. However, he was always happy to hear that the grey was curious about some aspect of his life. The question that the other male posed now prompted him to nibble on his lip again, his eyes and ears shifting with brief uncertainty as he thought of how to answer. "Yeah...well, I guess. I don't think I'll like what I will find out, but...it's for closure, you know?" Sighed and returned his gaze to the grey's, shifting his weight slightly. "Did you find that, closure? Knowing who you were, I mean. Do you regret remembering your past, and your old self?" He didn't mean to swing it back onto Zash; he just wasn't used to talking about himself, and the grey intrigued him to no end. And now he sought advice from him, this buck who was on his level.
Bunnycorn
With a good-natured grin the buck bowed his head slightly. "I will remember that." He watched as she rose to her hooves, unsure of whether he should stand up as well. But when she invited him to follow her, his smile broadened and he was standing up in a blink. "Yeah, I could use a drink too. Lead the way," he replied, bounding off to the side in one fluid motion and flagging his tail playfully.
[Nuuu don't apologize! You're fine, sweetie! ♥]
"Alright," Ariana giggled
Zash sighed, his mind working
"But my friends don't know. My best friend has a ring on her finger and a baby on her hip already...and I've only been in the ground for three years." A pained look crossed his face at that, but he pressed on to get to his point, "It's sort of hard to be 'stuck' when everyone you ever knew in your past is moving forward. Not only are they moving forward, but moving forward just fine without you. It would be unsettling for them to find me alive again...and I don't even know if I would fit in with them anymore...to be honest..." he sighed, shaking his head. By the Gods he rambled so much, "But I'm really glad I knew who I was when I came here. If I didn't, I would have killed myself within a month, maybe less than that. I woke up so angry...and so confused...if I didn't have an inkling as to who I was before I came here...what I was doing at my death... I would have gone mad just trying to make sense of my predicament. I don't regret it. I regret what I did, my actions, but I don't regret who I was...because I still am that person. Just on a new chapter in my life."
Bunnycorn That signature grin
That signature grin cut across the buck's face as he watched Ariana trot, jump and laugh about. He felt a little relieved that she didn't push for him to join in her festivities because, well, what tough guy pranced around? Still, he was happy that she was happy; he felt bad that she was in such a downer mood before. Soon they reached the shore of the pond, and it wasn't until then that Hannibal realized just how thirsty he was. Flipping the skull back onto his neck he voraciously drank his fill, not taking in his surroundings before doing so though he was aware of Ariana's presence. After a long moment he paused and grinned sheepishly up at her, his cheeks bulging with water. Such manners!
Waning-Sun
I've only been in the ground for three years... Is that what they called death back in Zash's world? And, a war? Hannibal had had some idea that Zash was once a warrior of some sort, but a whole war... His appreciation for the buck strengthened at this realization. It sure took a hell of a lot of bravery to be a part of something so full of loss and destruction. Hannibal listened as Zash continued to speak, and a pained look crossed his face to match the other male's own as he explained the situation with his friends and loved ones. Just hearing those very words brought a heaviness to the buck's heart. Was it really so easy for others to move on like that? What did this mean for the few that he cared for back at his own home? They must be just fine without him, too.
Hannibal began to chew his lip again, ears sliding back in thought and mounting distress, but the other male's self-proclaimed 'rambling' was comforting to him despite harsh realities. To him, Zash was his rock and anchor; his reassurance that there is a home away from home, and life after life. The more he heard Zash's story the more he wished to uncover his own past, no matter how scared the very idea made him.
I woke up so angry...and so confused... Hannibal looked up at this, surprised. He had felt the safe exact way when he stirred into consciousness within the strange fountain. The portal had spit him out there, and although he had willingly passed through it he still felt so angry. He felt that pieces of himself were missing, blank spaces dominating his memories. When he discovered that beating trees made him feel good, he began to do it every day, sometimes too fiercely. Once he gave himself a slight concussion and a head wound; he just couldn't stop. All of those frustrations came out, and it just became a ritual. But he didn't care about getting hurt; he was self-destructive, and believed he deserved all that happened to him. It was all about manning up and accepting it.
The buck remained silent for a long moment after Zash finished speaking, his ears slowly sliding forward again as he let out a breath that he had held in for who knew how long. "It's all been really crappy for you, but you have an admirably good attitude about it. I mean, I'm scared of figuring myself out for the very same reasons you had: going crazy and all that. Sometimes I feel like it, but...I don't even know if coming to terms with my past will make me better or worse." Met Zash's gaze sympathetically. "I mean...like you said, family and friends move on. So I'm back to wondering that the point would be for me. Is there any closure at all when you can't go back and change anything? When you can't see them again, or make amends?" Looked away with another sigh. "You just...end up being haunted. Yanno?"
[Gah, sorry for the novel dear! Please don't feel obligated to match it in length asdhsg ;n;]
Ariana was disappointed to
"Haunted," he mused. That was
"Closure doesn't just have to be something that works out for you. It could be the simple knowledge of how the past is doing without you; feeding your curiosity." he shrugged, looking up from where his gaze had wandered to the ground to stare him in the eye, "Stops you from wondering. From questioning how they are. Sometimes knowing they are well enough is better than knowing nothing at all. I am not proud of my past. I did a lot of stupid, selfish things. But I know I did them. I know how my friends- some of them- are okay on their own. Even though that hurts more than anything, it brings me peace of mind too. They're okay without me. I can move on. That in and of itself is closure; the knowledge you can move on." His gaze faltered, slipping back to the grass in front of his hooves, "Now if it's bad...if they're not doing well, if they're worse off than before..." he sighed, "There might not be a way to correct it, even if you wanted to. You would have to chose whether or not you would allow that knowledge to destroy you or not."
[It's okay. I'm tired, but he likes to ramble and talk in circles. I apologize if he doesn't make much sense or give you enough to go off of. I just sort of type what comes to head first, then edit it out later if need be with this boy.]
Bunnycorn He never would've
He never would've admitted it, but the splash actually caught him by surprise. The buck jumped slightly when cold droplets hit the side of his face, but he quickly recovered and jumped into a playful stance with a growl. "You call that a splash?" he challenged and, with a wide grin, swiftly turned on his heels and kicked up a torrent of water in Ariana's direction. Chuckled and bounded off to the side, splashing up some more water as he did so, soaking his chest and underbelly.
Waning-Sun
Embrace the past and move on... Zash was right, of course, but if only it was ever that easy. Although his memories were foggy and muddled, and more often times than not almost completely incomprehensible, Hannibal's stomach roiled from the underlying awareness of his past. Awareness, but without knowledge of what exactly happened. They were ghosts of memories, gnawing at his skull. There were no memories, and yet there were memories. Two questions had plagued him since he had entered the forest: how could he uncover those memories, and would it end him? Physically and mentally, he may become consumed by them, and yet the very same fate awaited him if they were left to be ignored. Why did it have to be this way...
Regardless of his worries, Hannibal listened just as intently as he always did when Zash spoke. The two bucks were so alike, and yet they were also polar opposites. Hannibal let his insecurities get in his way; he felt powerless to stop it. He went with the flow, but in the back of his mind he clung to those demons out of fear. What if he let go of them? What would happen to him then? The buck fell silent for a long moment after Zash finished speaking, his eyes focused on nothing in particular as he turned everything over in his mind. "You're right," he said slowly, his gaze gradually returning to the grey's. "But it's stupid of me to be afraid. I shouldn't be. I want peace of mind too, but...I just don't know what will happen if I learn everything. If I remember...everything." Bit his lip with a long sigh, then chuckled dryly. "Man...don't let anyone know I'm like this, okay? This really isn't helping my case. Gotta keep up an image, yanno?"
[Awh no worries at all, it made perfect sense to me! n_n Also I'm the same way dskjafh]
[Okay, good! And poor baby.
Zash couldn't help but laugh with the last remark, "Don't worry, Hannibal. Your secrets are safe with me." he promised, only to add quietly, "It's natural to be scared though, only a fool wouldn't feel fear. I don't know what you'll find, but if you think it'll bring you peace of mind knowing...." he shrugged, trailing off.
[Haha, "poor baby" my butt!
The buck grinned widely at Zash's promise, not feeling too embarrassed anymore. The grey was quite possibly the most non-judgmental creature that he had met, and he was forever grateful for it. As the grey went on the smile melted slightly, and the antlerless buck nodded his head with a small sigh. "Yeah...that's what I've told myself many times, but it's nice to hear it from you. Makes it feel more...believable." The corners of his mouth twitched up a little, and he bowed his head again. "Thank you..." He mumbled this, but he meant it with all of his being. The other male truly brought him down to earth, and he was still overwhelmed by Zash's kindness. Lapsed into a comfortable silence once more, breathing steadily as he attempted to clear his mind. He found that with Zash by his side, it was much easier to do.
[Haha, he should probably
Makes it feel more believable... Zash nodded at the male's thanks, "Don't mention it. Sometimes hearing someone else share similar beliefs makes it easier to believe it yourself." he fell into the silence afterward, simply enjoying his company.
[He should...but he probably
Nodded slowly as well, chuckling quietly before shifting his weight again, his back legs tucked in tight beneath him. "I didn't even believe that could be possible until now," he admitted with a sheepish smile, and then joined the grey in the comfortable silence. For a while he debated asking Zash more about his past, but he had already bothered him too much on the matter. He was grateful that the grey didn't mind discussing it, but still, it must be exhausting to recount everything. Hannibal did wonder one thing at the moment, however, and he could not stop himself from opening his mouth again. "Do you think that...when the ones we loved back home, when they die...do you think they'll end up here also?" he asked quietly while swallowing back a nervous lump in his throat. Still wasn't certain if he himself had died, or if he was reborn or what. Everything was one big, annoying mystery.
Tracking (Again ror) as Harry
Do you mind if I dump an rp in here or do you have enough on your plate right now? (I was gunna wait until i was noticed you see, but I have to leave 8CC)
Jacklo's Characters/Hub
Discord: Daddy#4977
I SEE A LITTLE SILHOUETTO OF
Profile picture by ahimsa ♥
Pixel Wis by squeegie~
I SEE A LITTLE SILHOUETTO OF
Profile picture by ahimsa ♥
Pixel Wis by squeegie~
I SEE A LITTLE SILHOUETTO OF
Profile picture by ahimsa ♥
Pixel Wis by squeegie~