into.

Detailed notes on the reasons behind my bird's actions. Lots of updating, lots of text to be added.
Mature content, including sensitive topics.

[image here]

Last Updated: [5/9/12]
It's been a while...
Want to rewrite some of this shit.

Brief

This would be a place for 'organizing' my unorganized notes on my bird. being just notes, they'll be just spewed out and not at all fancy. after all, if they were fancy, i'd never write any of it. |D So.

A huge point in reading any of this, or interacting with B at all would be his trauma. This doesn't get its own section, because it's such a vast thing...virtually everything he does, says, everything he is is touched by it. It's a very recent trauma- experienced literally just before entering the forest on September 4, 2011. It's a raw wound. It's debilitating. And it twists his mind in ways even he hasn't figured out yet.

[The Name]

Though formally dubbed 'Bright Eyes', he has no attachment to the name. That isn't to say he won't like you calling him that; it's better then some other names he hears directed at him. It also is not a name of his own creation, so it isn't likely he will give you the name to start with.

after first waking in the forest, names were unimportant to him. this changed after a conversation (the first conversation) with Jack, when names were exchanged. Ever since he's developed a sort of obsession with some names and with nicknaming. it's rare he will ever call someone by their actual name alone.

He prefers adding a -deer, -thing, etc. to the end if he can. This may be due to some lingering uncertainty with names; he isn't confident in saying them, and feigns some kind of ignorance.

[Touch]

One of the first things one would notice when interacting with him, after the painfully obvious 'whoa giant bird', would be his need to touch. This stems from years of forced isolation during which contact was given only in major circumstances. Instead of killing off emotions involved with being lonely, he was unintentionally conditioned to look forward to such circumstances and the contact that came with them.

He does not, however, take all touch he is offered. His ways of choosing who can touch him and who cannot at what times seem erratic. He may, for example, come across a deer he is interested in and move close. Depending on the most subtle of reactions to him coming close and touching (ie., hints of fear, excitement, stiffness) he unconsciously will make decisions that can range from playfully nudging to an outright attack. Even those closer to him are subject to this treatment, though the feelings of familiarity they give him can cause him to relax and make negative reactions less likely.

In addition, he's almost always hypocritical with these things. If he touches, it's alright. But if another touches him perhaps too eagerly, to him it's utterly wrong. There are, of course, always the possibility of exceptions to this.

[Rejection]

The mind inside the bird body is completely different. This body wasn't originally his, and this is a fact that, if he becomes aware of, can have devastating results. This is for two main reasons: First being he is unable to change what he is, second being that becoming the bird was a traumatic event. If he does begin to remember, his stress levels can become so high that he begins to experience symptoms that can be likened to organ rejection, as well as severe neurological problems and flat out madness.

Needless to say, it can be dangerous when he is pushed to this limit. on his mental scale, this begins to happen at about 40%- anything above that will leave him spitting fluid.

[Voice]

[1] [2]
On average, his voice has a higher pitch than might be expected. but on rare occasions when his mental levels reach around 30% or higher he takes on another more acceptable tone. has to do with becoming lucid, obviously, though the exact reasons for it are not something he's yet explained.

[Smallthings]

He was never a father. But he was prepared.

Fawns and young deer strike a chord in him that's difficult to ignore. that'd be what triggers most of his affectionate actions toward them. So long as they're small, minideer or fawn in size, they'll be treated as children by him. As soon as they get any bigger, though, his attitude toward them has a high likelihood of changing dramatically.

[Response to Fear]

Fearful reactions toward him trigger two things and two things only- aggression or loss of interest. They seem to be randomly chosen, and no one is immune to the possibility of attack if they show blatant fear toward him. not friends, not children, not instinct-driven animals.

He is, however, normally smart enough to tell between fear at a situation and fear directed at him. For fear unrelated to him, he may even make an attempt at comforting.

If experiencing fear himself, he will flat out deny it until it vanishes. He does not run from things he's afraid of, but rather faces them head on, seeking knowledge that will make him feel more stable. The worst thing he could do in a situation is run from something he fears. It seems contradicting, but, in fact, it is not.

[Affection]

He's known to give kisses and caresses. The majority of these are to satisfy his own drive to make contact with another, and have little meaning aside from that. He isn't ashamed of it, either. Only on rare occasions when he's more lucid does he refrain when he wants more intimate touching. In cases like these, his reactions can range from gentle denial, to outright disgust, to mild, non-violent panic attacks.

[Eyesight]

He isn't called Bright Eyes for nothing. His eyes do indeed glow depending on his mood...flicker like fires, dim like coals. When particularly excited, sparks seem to fly beneath their surface. Despite all that, his night vision is terrible. This has everything to do with his pupils- they simply don't wish to grow any larger to let more light in.

When in the dark, this is the reason he uses for his sharp drop in mood. 'Hard to see' is his way of expressing it without putting too much detail to the matter.

[Positioning]

Meticulous. Not so much in conversation, but in body language. How he faces you and how far away he sits does matter. They're easy enough to figure out, with some common sense. On the other hand, you could be dead wrong.

[Memory]

memory is what makes us function properly. after reflexes, it's what lets us judge situations, detect danger. Learn. His memory is patchy due to several things...extreme stress, long periods of sedation, and [more recently] just straight up head injuries.

But he's stubborn. Even if completely and utterly confused, he will pretend he knows what he's talking about ['wing it'] as long as he can. he's gotten good at it, too. Many times he even gets away without anyone realizing anything's wrong.

Sometimes he will begin to remember things as they're spoken of. it's unwise to actually try to make him remember- anything from happy realization to outright rejection could occur. Sometimes nothing at all will happen; it's really a matter of time, place, and subject.

[Safe-Lucid]

There are times when he can be both right enough in the head to carry on an in depth conversation, yet not going into rejection. On his mental scale, this is from 30% to just under 40%, a very small window. These times can be referred to the 'calm before the storm'. You can get much more out of him when he's in this state, but he's also incredibly easy to set off, being so close to that edge.

[Freedom]

The idea of being free to him is incredibly important and is a far deeper idea then just being able to fly. For many years he was under almost constant sedation to keep control over him. Though unable to act out, he was faintly aware of the suppression. Once free of it he was given the opportunity to think clearly for the first time in over 8 years, and he uses it to its fullest.

Not to say physical freedom means nothing to him. He is a very active creature, and any extended amount of time remaining still causes him discomfort. To be incapable of movement could destroy him under the right conditions- right conditions, being, he is mentally restrained as well.

[Autopilot]

Stress isn't handled well. It never is. On occasions when things become too much and the reactions to his stress are more then he can handle, he's likely to 'shut down', to run on instinct and wants to save himself from destruction. He still talks, still moves and does things, just in an abrupt, much calmer kind of way. His second voice always comes out in these situations, as well as memories he's suppressed; it's a bit like a safe-lucid state, in that respect.

Autopilot is represented as 2% on his mental scale.

Fighting Style

Unsurprisingly, he does like to fight. Quite a lot. Not all his fights are, however, serious, and he does love to playfight, which for him involves a lot of dodging, flying dirt, and name calling.

In a more serious fight, his tactics fall down to one question: To hurt, or to not hurt?

[To Not Hurt]

In a not-hurt situation, he will use his body as a shield; thick patches of feathers, fur, and muscle can be difficult to hurt with blunt force, but very easy to stab into given that he actually offers these areas to his attacker.

He uses his 'hands', which are dexterous and perfect for harmlessly grabbing onto antlers or limbs. Given how large he is, brute force isn't out of the question; He will shove if attacks are close enough in range. Wings, too, are used for disorienting and blocking attacks, though attacks tend to be blocked by the 'arm' of the wing, as to not damage any of the important flight feathers.

[To Hurt]

In a hurt situation, he becomes very different.
He is fast for his size, and able to rush up and down trees to dodge attacks. His wings are strong and can actually deliver a good blow if hit correctly.

Generally, he does not fly high during fights, as his attention is drawn inward toward his opponent, not to mention the trees would obstruct his view, and in the rush he would be unable to pay close attention to where he's flying. Instead he prefers to glide in short spurts around the area.

Then, of course, there is his weaponry. Each talon is between 5 and 6 inches in length, incredibly sharp, and on the end of a limb that's able to grab and hold on tightly.

His beak is actually rarely used. Voice, however, is a different story. He isn't above screaming or lunging at another's face to get the advantage.