Well... I'm back in TEF. I think it was-- at the very most-- a year ago that I began to play. I was always disconnected from the community, therefore always found myself walking among complete strangers when I was in the Forest. Now, with a new account and a new fawn, I am debating if I should use the energy to attempt fitting in this time around.
That was quite a boring introduction, now that I read over it; but my concerns aren't necessarily to impress quite yet, after all.

With the last deer I was Faoraven, an embodiment of my loneliness and isolation. I think I brought the concepts to life quite well in that deer, but that alone wasn't amusing enough to keep me in the game, obviously. With this new deer I hope to bring some satisfaction to myself in the matter of recognition; be that through forum activity or in-game presence. But my greatest fear-- rather the fact I resent the most-- is that I am just a player. Just a number in the member count of TEF, the web, the human race. But I shouldn't drown you in such suddenly massive ideas.

When I see the average player in any game I have a distant feeling of: "I want to be more than this". But there may be many others who look at me and think the same thing. Perhaps humans cannot be more to each other than "just another--"s. My thoughts have never come clearly or paced in any way, and for this I apologize to any vast-hearted soul who may be reading this.

Perhaps what I'm trying to do is become the great being I am in the world behind my eyelids. I want to be visibly special to others.... But... there is no way to do that, is there? It is such a dreadful, suffocating feeling when I realize how many feelings I wish to convey or manifest while I have no way of doing so. My hand cannot draw nor write well or quick enough to map them out. It honestly makes me think there is no point in living each time I recognize this.

Well... you can stop reading now. But you have probably taken that action already. Please send me a message (or however this works) any time. It's not as if I had anyone else to talk to.

Learn (if you could even call it that) about the mind of a 14 year old, mentally genderless outcast!