I used Heilong for a monologue in english class, had to make him a human for it though. Should I post it here?
Update: Posted, what's my grade

*It's based on the theme of growing up from Catcher in the Rye

Heilong is a human here

Physical traits as Human: darker skin with freckles, dark blue eyes (very sweet), longer (black) hair, star tattoos across his arms
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/158963061831463339/
Like these but white



Heilong (as a human) ~ Growing Up


“Growing up. Swell.” I was sitting on my bed in my apartment. Tomorrow I turn eighteen. “What does that mean for me?”
I’m Heilong. I live with my adoptive mother, Noirin, and Waefreleah, a blind, sarcastic elder, along with Heather, a kind, young girl, her brother, Peri, and a sunny individual named Clarion. We’re an interesting family with many different beliefs, but we work well together. Noirin’s in charge-she runs things and provides for all of us. She adopted me after my parents were killed in a fire, and helped me recover from the experience.
I go to school with Peri and Heather, I drive them to school everyday while Clarion plays music from the passenger seat. I’m very proud of them, and they have become siblings to me. All of us were adopted by Noirin and Waefreleah. But soon I’m going to have to go to college and live my life. I’m kinda scared, to be honest. I was homeless and alone and had trouble caring for myself before Noirin adopted me, I’m not really sure I can be responsible for myself. But isn’t that what being an adult is? Adults know how to handle situations and care for themselves and others. They seem to be very collected and ready for anything.
But I’m not at all like that. I can’t socialize that well, and have trouble connecting with others. Maybe those are the same thing, I’m not sure.
Also, there are some serious problems with adulthood. When do adults have free time or fun?
Rarely.
I have a problem with that. I need alone-time (free time) to think and do my own stuff, like reading, meditating with Noirin, or drawing.
I also don’t know if I could adjust. I have a lot of free time now, which helps me feel energized and free.
I’m scared to lose my freedom or myself. Will I lose those?
That’s what scares me the most. I’ve seen adults that are trapped by their responsibilities. They don’t have time to enjoy their lives, and that’s chilling to me. We only have one life, and we don’t have time to waste being unhappy. I’ve seen how quickly and suddenly life can end. I want to enjoy it.
But being an adult? Isn’t that the end of freedom?
It’s feeling smaller, this room, so I open the window. It’s cold outside, I love it. Below in the street I spot Heather watching as her brother runs excitedly in circles, happily chirping about a new idea he came up with.
Adults can’t do that. They have to act mature and “grown-up”. The freedom that the little ones have is incredible, I don’t want to lose my ability to act like a kid. I’m not ready.
“Does turning eighteen really mean I’m an adult? How do I tell when I’m an adult?” I flop onto my bed. It’s squishy, but I like it. It’s like a hug. But without another person… So it’s perfect.
“Maybe I’m already there?” Well that’s a thought. What if I’m an adult already? I don’t wanna be, but what if I am?
I get up and look out the window again. I need the fresh air. Below, Peri has stopped running and started jumping up and down. Heather looks amused. When was the last time I played around like that?
It’s been years, not since my parents passed away. Does that mean I’m not a kid anymore? I watched them, thinking.
I do have some kid attributes, I know that. I play around with Clarion and I have a lot of ideas. I like to run and jump, but I try to remain calm. I guess that makes me like an adult. But I don’t feel like one. Not at all. I’m not responsible for many things, and I don’t know how to take care of myself or others. For example, I can’t cook. I microwaved a grilled cheese and set it on fire once, and since then I haven’t tried. Also, I’m very unorganized. I have a system, but it’s not perfected. I’m not prepared for anything, I haven’t had a job yet, and my social skills need work. I’m not an adult.
So… What does that make me? A teen.
But I’m becoming a legal adult.
So, does that mean I need to become the ‘perfect’ adult by tomorrow?
Noirin will still be taking care of me, I’ll still be going to school in the morning with Heather and Peri and Clarion. But I feel like something will be shifted, even if it’s a small change, there will be a change. I’m going to have to learn to be an adult, and I think it’s going to start tomorrow. The beginning of the end. Will I lose my freedom?
Maybe being an adult means learning. Learning how to balance work and life. Life is precious, it takes time. It needs to happen. But work is needed for life, sadly. Maybe that’s what being an adult is. A balancing act. Maybe that’s all it is.
But how will I learn to balance? Will the first few years of adulthood be horrifically unbalanced? Will I be torn between free time and work, having to choose one over the other?
I’m scared of losing even the smallest amount of time. I wasted already so much in that horrible mental state when I was alone, lost, and struggling. I know I won’t be alone now, I have my family. But I’m scared to struggle, despite the fact that learning comes from it.
But if adulthood is just a balancing act, why doesn’t every adult find a healthy balance. Why do some work themselves to death, repeating a dry, endless cycle? No life, just an endless schedule of work. Is it not an option for everyone? Will it not be an option for me?
I need it to be an option for me. I need to live my life, an actual life filled with experiences and happy moments.
I hear the front door open, and two small pairs of footsteps. Heather and Peri are probably looking for me, so I walk out to the living space. “Hey you two! What’s up?” Peri is now covered in mud, presumably from jumping in a puddle. Heather seems to have been splashed, but not covered, in it.
The two young ones smile and tell me that they’re going to visit their friend, Delacroix. He’s an older, mute man who babysits for us. He’s a kind soul and very loving. Peri and Heather adore him.
I agree to let them go visit him, as long as they clean up so they don’t track mud in his house. I text Noirin and tell her where they are so she doesn’t worry.
I go back to my room after they leave and have eaten a snack. I need to think about tomorrow and what it means to me.
So I guess I’ve determined that being an adult is a balancing act. But, how do I determine when i’m an adult? “Ugh.” Another flop onto my bed. I could be an actor.
What makes an adult. What a fascinating question. Again, they seem organized, collected, and calm. But I don’t think that’s the only thing. No, maybe it has to do with responsibilities. Or being able to care for yourself. Maybe that’s what makes an adult.
If that’s the case, i’m certainly not an adult.
But… I do show some adult qualities… Right?
Like what though?
Well, I guess I can do chores. I drive myself and the others around, and to school and stuff. I keep track of where everyone is, so I know what’s going on. Like, right now, Noirin is at work, Waefreleah is at her studio singing, Peri and Heather are at Delacroix’s house, and Clarion is at his friend Cu’s house. I’m aware of things, which I think is adult-like. Peri never seems aware of things, like a child (which he is). Heather is more aware. I guess, in that respect, I am adult-like.
Maybe this means I’m already transitioning into an adult. But, I don’t want to. But maybe I can’t help it. But this, but that. Ugh.
But what does it all mean?
It has to mean something. Right?
Being an adult is a balancing act, one that I’m not prepared for. However, maybe no one is prepared for it, which is why it’s a balancing act. Specifically, an act. Maybe all adults are like me— not ready— but they have to try. But, I think the most likely option?
Being an adult isn’t set in stone, and is different for everyone. Yes, it may include responsibilities, yes it may include taking care of yourself, but there’s going to be other details depending on who it is. And I’m not ready to be an adult yet. It won’t happen overnight. And that’s okay. When I’m ready to be an adult, I’ll know. And it’ll be okay.