"Online: sleeping" = I, the player, am off doing other things.
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msn: derpydeer at hotmail dot com
semi-"out of character" deer:
SKA
"Even with these cracks, it resembles how it once was. Maybe someday, it'll be like we never broke it."
Physical: 100%
Feeling: beyond happiness
Forest Updates:
7/22: new beginnings
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Physical: 100%
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Physical: 100%
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Forest Updates:
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Physical: 100%
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Forest Updates:
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Physical: 100%
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Feel free to interact with any of them here!
Awwu ♥ If I knew how
If I knew how to sew... XD
I'm thinking a little glue, a
LMFAO. /dies Oh god... that
Oh god... that sounds... very possible. I can definitely visualize it XD
Collecting minies?
Pfft, what makes you say
...>> ♥
-licks all over the page,
You still taste like vanilla gurl
*chews on* >u
Eeeeheheheh ♥
.
u should get on nao -wiggles
010; ♥ Merrick; I
Merrick; I most definitely will >u> I'm ordering a new ferret cage~!
From Noe to Phylux, because
- - - -
Perhaps it had been in the way he held himself as she passed him by along the towering edge of the pond. Maybe she'd seen it in the dull glaze of his eyes or in how his ears drooped as though they'd been forgotten. Maybe it was simply in his aura as he watched with the agitated group just across the way with a forlorn yearning- the type that resembled only an empty hole. Whatever it was, it had gripped the doe's heartstrings and would not let go.
For as many sad hearts as there were in the forest and for as many as she passed on a daily basis, she might wonder in the future why this one stopped her, compelled her to linger. She may tell herself that this one was loud in his silence, that this one reminded her of a tender pain that would never truly leave her, one that haunted her daily. A single pain with many sources. In the end, she might possibly decide that she could relate in some abstract way, even without her natural sense of empathy.
She sat nearby, but not too close. Recalling how she felt so long ago: wishing for solitude while desperately yearning for company. She sat with him in silence, watching over the placid pond's surface while time slipped between them like a stream. The reflecting pool reflected only in the calm, still creatures who both shared black and white and red.
And then, a whisper. Hardly louder than the beats of moth wings as night cloaked the forest. "It will be alright." No matter the outcome, even if it wasn't truly, even if it wasn't what one hoped for. Even though, sometimes, the holes never filled back in just right. "It will be alright."
I love this ♥ You have
-----
The forest was a fog of muted green and brown and blue. He chose the pond unthinkingly, sinking down into the grass because his legs demanded it. It was as good a spot as any, if there were such thing as a "good" spot. What made this spot any different than a patch of dead grass or a spattering of gravel? No, there was no purpose to this choice. The smear of red sleeping on the far side didn't draw his gaze any more than anything else. He sat without thought. Without feeling. If he watched her, he watched the ripples on the pond just as much. Without joy. Without sorrow.
That is not to say that the doe's approach wasn't noted. He noticed as she lay down nearby, and he listened to her soft breaths as they filled the gaps created by the forest's life. He noticed and listened with a numb complacency. It was not his place to care. Her steps were strong. She could flee easily from danger.
She had no use for him.
This thought almost made him rise, but the weight of his own bulk pressed him down again. Down so far, he thought he'd never rise, and he wasn't sure if he wanted to.
When her words like wings drifted to him, drifted so softly that he couldn't be certain he had heard at all, he found himself staring. It will be... alright? Surely, he'd heard wrong. Or perhaps, the doe was talking to herself? For something to be alright, there had to be a wrong. There was no wrong here. No problem. No good. No bad. Only the weight of his body that pressed him ceaselessly into the forest floor. So heavy, he might never get up. He might watch the ripples and the red smear on the edge of that pond forever, and wouldn't that be alright? Alright. All right. No, that was incorrect, as well. If nothing was wrong, then nothing could be right, either. There was nothing but his purpose, and here, now, his purpose had no use. There was nothing.
Phylux turned back to the pond. Perhaps, she was talking to herself.
He lay his head on the cool grass, garnering some small solace from the scent, and breathed, "No, if there is alright in this place, it is not meant for me."
Nn, thank you~ ;u; Your
- - - -
His words, no matter how bleak and hopeless they had been, caused a small, sad smile to draw up the corners of her lips. Black eyelids swept over vibrant green irises and umbrall slits of pupils in a gentle caress, easing away the Sandman's grit that she was never quite able to rid herself of for the past handful of months. Upon opening those lids, her eyes had focused on the beaked beast, all crumpled and held down by the weight of perhaps the very thing that once made him feel weightless. She smiled because she knew. She knew how he felt and where he stood and just how desperately pointless and hopeless this forest could seem; how easily the warmth could be ripped from the soul by its denizens and how hollow they could leave you. She knew because she had been on both sides of the taking and taken away.
"That is not true."
She had lifted her voice only enough to be clearly heard, that faint smile lingering on her muzzle like a mother's. If she had been closer, she may have stroked the downy just behind his ear- tuck a lock of the child's unruly hair back into place. But she was not close, and so the best she could offer was a soft purr and her docile attention. Each remained, even as she turned her sight back toward the water, it's surface now rippled by the disturbances of foot falls at its shore.
"Alright was here before and it will be again." A thought settled into her mind as quickly as it had been formed. Ever-so-slightly, her head canted toward the winged one, a black-tipped ear swiveled in his direction. "But why, I wonder, is alright not here for you now?"
In silence, she wondered if he would answer. What reason did he have to indulge a mere vagabond who just happened to come across him in his state? One who had the nerve to believe she truly understood him by reading and divining what she could from no more than the way he held himself. She recalled her most recent lessons of trust that same way a jaded elder might and mentally scoffed. But it was worth the asking, she told herself. Sometimes, strangers could be trusted more than family.
Ffff, I'm rusty. This is a
-----
He almost looked toward her again. Almost. He knew why she reached out. It was the same reason he'd reached out to others in this life. An emotional response. The feeling that made him disregard his friend's violent behavior first, then explode into a frenzy of violence himself. Pity. Anger. He hated himself for it, and even that hatred inspired guilt. These emotions, along with the physical contact he'd gained in this place... they were gifts he no longer wanted. Gifts he shouldn't have requested in the first place. It wasn't his place to possess such things. He wasn't ready yet.
...Yet?
No, he would never be ready.
Still, he knew the way he was treating her was unpleasant. Cruel. His purpose was not cruelty. It was security for those in need. In his past life, she wouldn't have been able to see him, and he thought that perhaps, if he disregarded her, she would disappear from his life, as well. But she was kind. Connected to her emotions.
It was not his place to cause unhappiness.
He dragged his head from the forest floor, his too-heavy body screaming in protest, and shifted to face her. Shifted in such a way that he couldn't comfortably turn away again. If she needed him, needed even the smallest courtesy of a response, he would not deny her. If the topic was himself, well... He would find some way to console her.
"Alright is a dream, ma'am," he replied. "This dream is sometimes beautiful, sometimes ugly, but never intended for me. I am intended to watch the sleepers. Keep you warm at night. Make sure you never have to wake up yourselves. If I'm asleep, who will look after you?" He smiled as best a bird could smile, which wasn't much. The smoke from his back spread like fog across the ground, they themselves too heavy to curl wing-like into the air.
Changed my main account to
Oooh! 8D Are you gonna
I don't have a bio for texas
; 3; Whaaaat. Hurry up and
pfff yeah it's been gone long
hey there.... hope you don't
Texas; I love his new
aldebaran; fff, not at all ♥
ooh you
Poor Vodun. ;; I might drop
I might drop an RP here sometime, Ryff hasn't seen Phylux in a long time~
Texas; ♥ Ryff; Yeah,
Ryff; Yeah, Phylux is going through some tough times :3 He might not be very responsive to Ryff, or any adult deer~ But feel free! I'm kinda rofling about Ryff's fear of Vodun XD Figures that she'd get caught up in it when Vo had his little panic attack.
awh ;; miss playing with
Ugh yeah, I need to get him
derp
;-; Vodun's updates make me
At least Vodun and Gustiro are together still, right? xD;
Wasn't tracking this. AM NOW.
Iskalo; I knew Vava had to
pumpkinnn; ♥
Aww Vodun♥ If Va
Pfft seriously! Someday, I'd
Wat. You were on and I
You were on
and I MISSED IT?
Pfffff.
I knoooow! I always miss
Well, I guess you'll just
Planning on it >>
*ahem* I mean. You better >/
*ahem*
I mean.
You better >/
tracking dis