December 17, 2012 - 3:35pm — Seed
I made a resolve or two at the start of the week; first off, I resolve to write more diary entries, maybe combining a week of entries (We'll see if this happens). The second, I resolved to abandon my candles; I like them for darkness and bad weather...But they're inconvenient the rest of the time, and it's annoying to have to knock them off my antler-branches every time, and find them again in whatever flowerpatch I left them in later. Better to just get them when I can and need them.
On Monday, I spent most of my waking hours beside Sage, often watching her sleep. When someone I care about sleeps...It's such a sweet and tender thing. They seem so small and frail, like soap-bubbles or tiny frogs with transluscent skin. I want to keep them warm and protect them, even if the gesture's meaningless to them, because they'll never know.
While she was sleeping, I met a small fawn; she was still clumsy, and didn't seem to know how to express herself clearly. Well, I say she, but I'm just guessing -- the trees knew nothing of her to pass to me. I showed her some spellcasting, and gave him some of my flowers -- and the fawn mingled some new flowers with my own, too. We played a while, and I reacted to whatever the fawn tried, as best I'd show what to do. The fawn seemed grateful, for my company or for my guidance. I find you usually have to show a little one the right tree for pinecones, but it's that teaching I find really fun to do, in the hopes of seeing it dawn.
At some point, she left, and left me to rejoin Sage.
After a while, I wandered off and met a few other fawns, and went to run with them -- and another deer we picked up, for a while...But then the fawn who was sort of leading the way ended up taking us to a large group sitting on a hill...They didn't seem to acknowledge us, and that silence was more awkward than that they were just strangers, and I ended up retreating out of unease.
Not much else occured until Friday, when I met Ourania and Toukan by the lake...But it seemed that after a little spell-casting, their best energies were spent. I felt guilty about it, but I left to find more adventerous pastures. And along my way, I encountered a fellow named Vee (who I do believe I've met before, a long time ago...Though perhaps not in this form. Ah, no matter, and a playmate who I have not met. We messed around with magic for a while, though...I admit, I spent a long time not being sure if there was a goal or what it was, especially since, in the end, it just faded into random playing about. After that, we had a most excellent game of devout-elt chasing...I was the chasee. I think, given that the two of them had to revive each other's pelt a few times, and we got the whole way around the forest, I think I did rather well! They left together, and I returned to sitting with Ourania and Toukan and I believe Khati, since I've been seeing him around lately... Until I too, faded into sleep.
When I awoke, Toukan, Khati, and some other deer were on the Twin God's hill, casting a few spells. I joined them, but we soon after ran out of things to do, seemingly. I always seem to miss the high energy times. Lucky for me, however, we at least had a show: a pair of little mini-clones, mirroring one another by the statue of a certain other matched pair. It was splendid, even as it fased into more peaceful observation.
I worry with all this sitting around that I am gaining weight I'd rather not gain. Maybe I could talk Sage into joining me on the occaisonal jog? I'd ask Toukan, but I doubt that leg of his is good for trotting very far...And anyway...I like to see Sage move...And I think she'd understand this resolution.
I joined him in some evening prayers, though...Or something. Actually, I seem to have an odd stance about prayers. I guess I am just not a spiritual person, though I'm thankful to the Gods for my blessings. It just doesn't occur to me to pray to them anymore, nor does praying seem to do me much good. Perhaps my poems, and my devotion to their works of devotion, is all I can offer. Or maybe he likes it for his leg, I don't know.
Anyway, at that time, I was also trying to entertain a little fawn lurking by the hill...I don't know if I succeeded, especially since I was too tired to go on much longer...But they seemed grateful for the attention. I'm happy to watch out for fawns, but sometimes I worry that it makes my friends think I'm abandoning them....Agh. I'm so bad at this!
Anyway, come Saturday, I saw Moss sitting beneath a tree... And as a fellow Light-Bringer, and also as someone who has always wanted to spend more time with him...I elected to join him. I sat with Moss, and we admired the woods and the actions stirring on below. Even with my recent iniative, I don't mean that I don't want to take out all these contemplative moments, these little periods where the only sound is my breathing and that of my companion, the distant sound of deer, the forest whispering and settling peacefully into itself...
It's not something I'd ever want to completely remove. Not the way the light falls over me at times like this, in broad sheets and slender, dappled patches; in a soft wash or in distinct particles, dancing to the music of the air. Today, the air was very light and crisp, with a faint undercurrent of browning and drying leaves. There isn't much turning of seasons, here; we feel it so faintly...But the air carries the dreams of worlds where it does, and it collects the scents of the few leaves that do fall into a smell of the cold months.
I can think about these things when I'm sitting like this, which is a relief. I guess I just want some balance.
Monday, I just sat with Toukan, Ourania, and a third friend I don't really know for a time. But sat...As mini-deer! Also momentarily met and played with and sat by a fawn, as is about becoming the norm for me.
It was a week full of resolutions, but I don't know how many of them I can see through...
"It was a pleasure. The
I noticed that timing - how
*smile*
@Vee: "It's a great game,
"It's a great game, since it's such an easy set-up...Ha hah."
@Pega:
So stay longer, huh? I'll do my best!
@ Apoidea:
"I'm glad you enjoyed it, too." Or something like that.