He gasps in the darkness, struggling for air, struggling to fight back the darker tendrils that edge his vision. Crimson lines the ground around the fawn, glinting in the moonlight. This was just where it has been prophesied. This was where it had all started. Now he was here, bleeding out his life, trying to drink in the chilled air. Above, the moon looked on, countenance cold. There was no sympathy for him this night.
He lays there for ages, breathing raspy, turning colder and colder. He manages to gasp out,
“Mommy...?”
He rests his head on the logs, confused, alone, dying. He realizes that the voice has stopped haunting him for the moment. Good.
They had come so quickly. The graves, the blood water, so much more. He couldn't help running from it all, from the howls, from any other deer...from the voice. It was loud today, clear, perfect.
“Run, run, run, you'll never escape me....Today you will die. Follow me...”
He runs away, darting through the trees. He tries to fight where he sees the apparition, but to no avail. The deer stays with him, haunting, chanting, yelling, whispering. He can't get rid of it.
He gives in.
It takes him to a pile of crossed wood, tells him to wait. He does, finally allowed to relax. He closes his eyes, listening to the sounds of the deer within his head. His thoughts turn to Aegle, the doe he's adopted as his mother. He had decided to dress up as her for day of the deer, his favorite holiday. He's wearing her mask now. All he needs is her antlers and it'll be finished....
So minuscule, fragile...I do not want you harmed. I will protect you... You! Get away from that fawn! You can only harm, beast! And you, foolish doe! Run, back away, coward! Taunt not when you are not brave enough to face me! Cold. So cold, like the touch of the little one long ago. Frigid liquid pooling about my hooves, gripping, pulling. Hot pinpricks nettling into me, stabbing, pushing, but I cannot get away. Trapped, not alert, waiting for the inevitable. Red, bright, garish red, nothing like my pelt, no, dripping, falling, mine, his. Heat joins the cold to pool around my helpless feet. Please, do not get hurt. I will give my life for yours, little one. I will not let him hurt you. Then it all falls away. Slipping, slipping, falling deeper, dragged under by the cold, slipping away from the heat, gone, gone. I can see the light far away, tinted blue. I can see the bubbles caressing my body as I fall deeper, deeper... Kick. Paddle. Break the surface. Stumble forward. Feel the slick mud. Collapse. Black.
How can I describe the darkness that followed? Smothering, it was, a killing blackness like maple syrup. Is that a memory from long ago? Yes, I remember it. So faint now, so far away, but bright like a candle in this darkness. I cling to it, remembering.
The brothers are spread throughout the trees, working in silence only punctuated by the sharp sound of pounding hammers. Thump, thump, thump, like a heartbeat. Thump, thump, thump.
It is beautiful. The trees, long barren, have grown new life. Buds spring from every branch, flowers litter the ground, and birds sing their lovely songs.
Why does it have to be so complicated?
Why can't it just be black and white, plain and simple?
Why can't my enemies...stay my enemies?
And why can't they all just leave me alone to die in peace?
No, I'm not dying. I won't...won't believe that just yet. I'll just keep struggling. I won't give in to them yet.
Maybe I'm going crazy. Maybe that other stuff didn't happen, and things can go back to the way they should be. That would be much better...
I miss Darkweaver. I saw him for so little time today...My first friend. How will I tell you the news? How will I break it to you that...
I saw her too. I remember disliking her, but I don't remember why. So I let her sit by me. I'm sure it was a mistake. Then...again...
I left the group soon after Darkweaver disappeared. He didn't even say goodbye...
I'm glad the group didn't follow me. Or maybe I'm not. After I left, he came. He wore those frightening white antlers like tree branches...The symbol above his head even matched mine. Or close to it. He came over so quickly, kept coming, coming...
He didn't listen! I kept telling him to go away...but he kept coming. I tried to kick at him, but he wouldn't go away even then. He just kept following me and following me...
He stopped once. I went to the Gods, to give them punishment, show that I was still alive despite that fright of a deer. But then, she was behind me. Blue doe, followed by two others...and him. I ran.
I remember a blur of other deer trying to help me. One of them was her. He just wouldn't stop...I had to leave, to run, which only ended in a coughing fit. It went on and on, finally stopping only when I was hardly able to walk. I limped to the pond, but another deer lay in wait for me.
The Fawn
"Friend... I need you to leave me alone. Just for a bit...so I can think..."
The brown deer, still wearing her fawn spots, looks sadly at the deer before her. He looks at her with confusion, sadness, pain. She can't help it; he's done things that she can't know whether she agrees with or not. She needs time, time to think. She doesn't want to hurt him, but she knows she can't avoid it.
She trots off, and he follows. It's only hurting him more, she knows. The overpowering need to think is clouding her mind. She ignores him, trying to stay just a bit ahead. She limps sadly, still injured from a fight and her horrible headache, which lingers still.
She's begun feeling sick, running for so long. She collapses in the pond and he lurks behind. She ignores him...until he races forward to the deer he has been fighting all night. She nearly snarls and leaps up, getting in between him and the other deer. The Fawn glares at him with cold eyes.
“If you hurt him, you hurt me. You've already done that more than enough tonight. Stay away from him.” She walks away coldly, closing her eyes as the water from the pond seeps into her light fur. The memories play back.
The day had started with pain. She remembered blacking out from the pain of running from her pursuer, trying to evade him, digging in with her antlers, scratching at his face...He wouldn't leave her alone. It was...justified. He looked so much like Tally, told so many lies. Yet another thing the statues had crafted to try and break her.
She remembered the fight that had started her off. Some deer had cast that burning white pelt on her. Even when she cowered, it just watched her and jumped around. So she tried to tell it to back off, rearing and lowering her antlers. She had ended up in a fight, earning bruises and scratches all along her body. Then she ran for her life, head pounding, feeling sick.
The little fawn shivered in the cold of the night, fur illuminated by soft glints of the moon, high above. He had never really been that fond of the night, though it was nice that the two little candles above his head lit up.
He stood up on spindly little legs, brown eyes searching for something. Searching, searching, searching-Ah, there. He caught the scent of the doe on the night breeze, whispering softly past. He instantly took off running for her, nearly crashing into her when he stumbled upon her. She wore no fancy pelt, just a dainty butterfly mask. He happily snuggled into her side.
“Aegle...” He smiled. She was the one of the few that could chase away the whisper-deer. The strange voice was talking to him nearly every day now, whispering more and more things that he didn't understand, couldn't quite hear. He was coming more often too, multiple times a day now. The little fawn tried to push the voice away, but it wouldn't stop.
The doe next to him stirred and looked startled to find the little fawn right next to her, though her gaze softened. He nuzzled into her soft fur, warm in the cold night. To him, she was almost like a mother. He was sure that she respected him, though. She understood. He lay down next to her, closing his eyes against the soft, brown pelt.
As he closed his eyes, he found his thoughts drifting to her eyes. Thee was something strange about them, something glassy and distant. The little fawn felt that it definitely was not a good thing, whatever it was.
She stood and he followed her lead, opening his eyes. Another figure stood there in the moonlight, giant white antlers curving above his head, dark pelt marked with bones, wearing a night-dark pelt striped with white. Bones, he thought. He looked admiringly at the stag.
The Priest I wonder. I wonder how it is possible to gain so many enemies so quickly. Perhaps they are blind to what I am doing for them. They always are. Perhaps this is why...
Not a single deer can understand what has gone on tonight. Not one. I was harmless, courteous to her until she reopened old scars without reason. The scars were healed until she became insulting, proving exactly why does do not belong here. It is quite easy to see how it went from there, her insulting words simply making it so that I could not ignore her if I wished to keep my honor.
So I awakened this morning to snow coating the ground. White, the color of innocence, of purity. Yet, she was there, defying the purity of the forest, soiling it with her dark word. Of course, she brought reinforcements, but at least he knew enough to stay back.
That Gods-forbidden doe made the first move. I, after all, am more honorable than she. What followed was the longest battle that I can remember. However, the winner was quite clear, even from the beginning. This doe could not stand up to me. She seemed to flag early on, but always came back. What a foolish little fawn. I lost track of the time as we struck out at each other, running, breathing...Everything mixed together into a haze of red, her hooves, my hooves...
“Have you finished here, doe?” I would call, and she would answer something in her stuttering voice. Or nothing at all.
Then Amary came along. I worry for her, injured as she is. She attempted to stop us, but I knew that if I were to admit defeat, my honor, my duty to the Gods would be sacrificed. I continued...but so did Amary. She got in the way of our battle several times, earning her several injuries. I regret each one, for she is innocent.
The snow...
I suppose I looked down once. The snow was coated in dots of red blood, mine and hers. It dripped down both of us, down my antlers. It did not matter to me at that time. I was focused.
Would somebody be willing to send these to me? It's for another person mainly, though I'll probably be keeping it just in case. I would really appreciate it.
I can color one of my adopt-things as a thank you as well. Just tell me what deer.
Fear is a really weird thing. It's like it holds onto me while I run, squeezing the air out of my lungs. It doesn't help that my head always hurts when I run either...
Today was a day for fear. I guess I first saw him when I was running from a fawn; those things are always so loud...always ready to unleash that blast of light. I couldn't get it to stop, so I ran to him for protection, not knowing who I'd find.
I was wrong to run to him. I don't know why I thought he'd help me...I guess he was confused by my cowering in front of his not-that-frightening antlers. They...they could hurt me too. I could see them bruising me, trying to harm me. Just like all the other stags.
Is this what I get for going against the statues, daring to try and change my fate? Is this what I get for trying to go home? They will never break me. Take away my friends, send legions of stags after me. They won't get to me, no. They'll find out what I am soon enough.
He followed me. I cowered, and yet he followed. I am sure that he wanted to harm me. I ran, he followed. I ran again, he followed. The crushing pain came back again and again. Just like him.
Finally, I found another. That weird deer who could change genders...But...I don't know. Something told me to let it approach, so I did. I have...a strange feeling that she's a doe...So all call her a her...She came closer slowly, allowing me to size her up. She really...wasn't that bad, though she was still freaky. More polite bows...Strange...I really don't know.
Well, we were interrupted by another one of those gender changers. This one just walked right up. Then it was gone and suddenly back again. I raced away in shock, though I stayed just a bit away...It was a doe for the moment, so I didn't really feel like running. Then it changed, with horns like a...like a fin? Then it ran away, popping up behind me.
