25 more days big brother till the one year anniversary.For awhile I was numb I did not feel much besides sadness. And honestly I did not want to feel anything.All I ever wanted for you was to see you smiling, happy living your life to the fullest. Was that too much to ask.I miss you so much that my words could never give my feelings justice.My heart still hurts,and nothing seems to make it go away.I know you have "visited" me in many ways. And for that I am truly thankful.



But why did you have to be the one to go through the pain you were in. Why you.Its hard to believe that a loving kind-hearted person like you would ever have to be in pain.Can you hear me talk to you big-brother late at night when I can not sleep.Im sorry if I cry but it can not be helped. Because when I think of you I am proud,and its.....hard to accept that were separated if only for a while.Is it the fact that this was your choice that makes my pain worse. Or is it the fact that you were in enough pain that made you do this?


My birthdays coming soon and its the first time I wont receive your call. Did you know your call was the one I waited for. I would be so edgy until you would call it seems silly,but my b-day would never really feel complete without your call. But I guess Im gonna have to get used to it.

If I could turn back the clock and stop what happened I would willingly give anything for you to be here happy and alive.

I love you and miss you so much big-brother.And until we meet again my heart will never be whole.

Bored so anyone want to role-play?

I am but a soul
Trapped inside this shell of a body
I wait for one that might not return
But each day
I think of how happy I would be
If only he would
Come back to me
So I could see his smile
Sometimes Im lost in thought
And can not be bothered
But be not afraid
I dont seem
The type that would lash out in anger
But I would be hurt
If you would reject my frienship
That is all I could offer you
For there is nothing more I could give from my heart
I just long for someone to show me kindness
And if by now you are not bored with these words
It is my name you shall receive
I am called or known as Winry
A lady by all means
Who is always loyal to her friends.


( For Sakafur)

Its 5Am


And Im still awake


The radio is playing


Some country song

But my mind is too distracted


To focus for to long


But I can hear the wind howling


Outside my window

It seems sleep will not come tonight


And heaven knows why


Even though Im exhausted


I cant seem to shut my eyes

I toss and turn


But to no avail

I can not find a bit of peace

Deprived of my dreams


And growing weary of this game


I sigh

As I through back the covers


And go to sit next to the window

I can see the trees

Bending in the wind

Five short minutes later

The rain begins

I look back at my clock

It says 5:25


I shake my head

And cross my arms

Giving up

I stare out into the storm

Waiting for my clock to go off


Another sleepless night has come

And within a few short minutes it will be gone

There are no birds to be seen this morning

For they are hiding in their nests

Waiting out this storm

My alarm takes me by surprise

While I was lost in thought

I close my eyes

And hang my head

But only for a minute

Before I turn off that annoying buzzer

That normally awakes me from my sleep

Its another day

A new beginning

Not quite the same as yesterday

And to think

I was awake all the while

Not missing a single hour

Its in your head

Its follows you around every corner


It seems so inviting

You only have to give in


To reach out and take


Resisting is so much harder

When you know you really want it


But go the other way


Because you know its not good for you

Theres nothing like a bit of temptation

To question your will


And glance back over your shoulder

To get a passing view


So tell me whats your greatest temptation

That your resisting

The sky is grey
And for once
Im glad
It can rain all day
Even though its not Sunday
I can close the windows
And my door
And finally cry
Letting the rain
Be my disguise
I wont have any more excuses
To hide my true feelings
But then again
I can be alone
And release what needs to be
It can be disguised
But you cant stop it
Its unpredictable
That why I wish it could rain all the time
Oh what a convenience that would be
But that would mean I would always wear a diguise
I would never see the sun
Shine through the clouds
Raining everyday
Just incase
There is a moment
I have to get away
They would not hear me cry
Just the rain pounding on the roof
Falling from the sky
This would be my ultimate disguise.

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