It says I'm in the forest, but my ping's in the 800's, so...am I actually in the forest, in any way, shape, or form?

*wishes it was dawn in the forest, because she wants to hide in the birch forest grasses, but they look boring by day*

I don't know many people on the community site, so I don't really wanna post there...but if I seem kind-of depressed or anything for a while, this is why...it's a long story, so if you don't want to read, you don't have to.

I'm not asking for any pity. I'm just asking you not to anger at my mood. I'm feeling disappointment, resentment, and a questioning of why I still trusted her this one last time after everything...and knowing she's lost my trust completely. She doesn't deserve the benefit of the doubt.

---

My mom nearly died today...

She got drunk at work. I could hear it in her voice. But no, I gave her the benefit of the doubt. I simply asked her to pick up my allergy medicine from Wal-Mart, and said bye. She works somewhere that's about 8 or 9 minutes from here.

At 6:43 PM, 13 minutes after she was supposed to have gotten out of work, I heard this sound.

Kaplop, kaplop, kaplop. Over and over again, down the road. I couldn't see the road, because it's up on a hill that's beyond our creek and a bunch of trees, making it invisible to us during the summer.

I giggled, thinking it was someone with a junk car. I walked out of the den and saw my dad staring out the window.

I said, "Some junk car, huh?"

He said, "It's mom...she's the only person I know who would drive with flat tires."

I thought: Wait...that's what flat tires sound like? What a strange sound.

My dad walked down our driveway until he got to the little bridge over the creek, and...he suddenly put his hand to his head, shook his head, and started to walk back.

My hopes that it wasn't mom...yeah. They were smashed. I wondered why she didn't fill up the tires on her way home, why she didn't get the meds. Because if she had, she would have been at least 16 or 17 minutes late.

I saw her slowly drive in. My dad walked up and stared at her in the car. She just sat there. Then he came in, apparently helping her walk, as I heard.

Listen to me. Please. Hear me out. Hear me, in general. My voice calling out your name, desperate to be heart. Just waiting for my Human to tell me that you are there. Waiting to hear that -you- can -hear- me.



I sit and think. And wish. And know you can never be with me. That I can never be with you.



She says there is a thing called...hope. And I have it. Far too much of it.

Hope to be with you.

Hope that you would even let me...

I could scour the world. Over. And over. Always the same flowers, same trees, same love and loss. It's endless.

So why do I try?...

All I can hear is your voice saying my name...in my dreams, I imagine it, I dream of it...and it keeps me going...

And I know...that one day...I...I'll meet you...

---
---
---

Poor Anzel...she'd be much better in a written rpg than an mmorpg right now, heh...

Ah well XD; I just kind-of wanted to write.

Shall my master bid me,
I shall strike her horn to toe
Antlers pierce the flesh upon me
Can't escape, I cannot go

I must get stronger still, she says,
I feel that I must hear
That all she says is right
So right, "You must be Queen, my dear."

And so the scars were painted
On my pelt, my brow, my nose
But nothing could compare
To all the scars I've yet to know

I met him, sleek in dappled pelt
With poppies by his ears
With kind, but saddened eyes
And with a heart so full of woe

One day, he disappeared,
And all my world had turned to pain
For the scars upon my flesh
Were nothing; this was not the same

I felt the antler's prong
Stab through my heart with ample grace
I had to go on through the stabbing
To hide it from my face

And when I saw him; oh, my heart,
It nearly took to flight
I chased him down, and what I saw
Was like a fatal blight

His legs were barely holding him
His frame was rattling, weak,
His voice was frail, cold, and broken,
But oh, to hear him speak...

Oh, Skokey, I have missed you so,
My sweet and kindly prince,
"I lo..." I whispered to him in his sleep,
I couldn't help but wince

"My sweet Skokey," she said beneath
The hum of fireflies,
"Please, never leave me, never go,"
And softly, Fenqua cries...

---
---
---

I'm kind-of depressed right now, so I don't feel like reading it over, but I hope you liked it...*hides*

o.o;

It's still snowing?

Or did it just start snowing again?

ANZEL IS A CONFUSED DEER.

Who saw a deer sitting underwater, and a deer with the orange pelt (black diamonds on the back...like quamar's) sitting where Pega normally sits...WHO ARE YOU? MWAHAHA.

What's happening at the Ruins? I see a big cluster of deer, but...even if I can only see one setless picto clone stag, I still feel awkward, I don't want to interrupt anything...*hides behind ruins wall*

What's everyone doing around the playground? XD; INVISO-DEER FEELS CLAUSTROPHOBIC.

XD;

EDIT: Umm, am I visible at ALL? *sees that is says she's 'in the forest'* Hmm...

*walks outside*

"Harley!" *whistle whistle* "I know you're out here somewhere..."...

*looks over and sees two glowing yellow eyes*

"Oh, hello there..."

*doe stares at me for 3 seconds*

*doe runs off*

*giggles*

---


XD;

I can't just show you these pictures like normal...they'll stretch the page :/

Here's the first pic, it'll force you to look at the rest:



I took close-ups of Kumiko (who mimicked me, in my ghostly world, lol), and a few of Vesper

- Cute little Kumiko, I LOVE this pic XD;

- Sad Kumiko...;-;

- Surprised Kumiko!

- Scared Kumiko! x_o

- I know, I know, I should have taken -normal- pics of Vesper...

- ...but this is one of the coolest pictures EVER. Admit it. You love it.

Literally!

Hop in the pond and look at the reflection, it's GORGEOUS! In certain positions, you can even see rainbowy clouds!

(yeah, i'm in the forest, but i'm apparently invisible)