anzel's blog

Anzel's picture

Vanity is molded by never to be.



The blood from my artery seeps into every fiber of my despised being. Solely did the twitter bird, frozen in time, not wise enough to notice me...stay in my wake.

Fate hath dealt a cruel hand, I know this myself, and so do my brethren. And only does the cure lie within the hands of the Gods, who do not care for my fate, or the fate of my others.

And as I see every foul trick here, laid before my eyes in a crumpled heap of lies and fake scents, I growl.

I hesitate.

This forest has never wanted me.

I am cursed to desire something that I might never have.

---

Feel free to speak with me, here in the false forest of pure blackness daydreams solely. Even a pyre grows lone.

---

(i had another dream about entering the forest last night :/ i just want to freaking play.)
Anzel's picture

ATTN EVERYONE

As you have likely heard, server tests went on for about a week.

BUT, unfortunately, Michael didn't mention on the front page or anywhere where people would really notice that...you needed to post how the forest was for you during certain times. He posted a topicabout it in the Problems & Bugs section, but nowhere else.

If ANYONE remembers TEF improving or degrading a bit on SPECIFIC days for the past week, during the time in which the tests were taking place, PLEASE POST THEM HERE!!!

For example:

August 22nd - Played in the morning; connected and got the pictograms to fast in a snap. Frames per second was greater than it has ever been for me, even when no one else was on.

THAT WAS JUST AN EXAMPLE;; just making sure you don't think that was a true statement, because I can't be sure.

---

The server tests took place randomly, and no one was told when the back-up server was or wasn't up. But I know a trick - if during the time you played, the Live Map here on the site wasn't working, the back-up server was likely up.

PLEASE help by providing some information!!! I shall give you gigantic sugary pinecones of superness if you do :DDD

Otherwise...the back-up server won't be tested again. Because no one posted about any changes, because no one really knew about the topic to even know to post anything.

---

I wish I'd thought of this topic before the tests were done and over with; I'm just really hoping that some people here might remember anything to prove to Michael that JUST MAYBE, there WAS a big change.

Thank you if you can help at all ^^;

---

EDIT:

If you cannot recall any specific dates, could you try and describe any differences you experienced during the week, along with a comparison with your usual gameplay? Make sure that it's not just related to the amount of people playing...
Anzel's picture

:/ Honestly, should I leave?

Well...there it is.

Michael: If people are not posting reports, we can only assume that there is no difference in their play experiences...

In response to my question as to if any more testing would be done.

:/

Should I just leave now, seeing that my future here is not going to change? Don't say "but we'll missssss yoooooooouuuuuu" and all that...stuff. Just say if you honestly think I should bother having any hope anymore.

I mean, yeah, I love this game. I love the forest, I love running around in it...but what's the point if I can't play right, and never will?

((note: take my words with a grain of salt; i'm pmsing extremely badly and can barely distinguish what my real thoughts and mood are right now...no clue why it's so bad. tried to censor my mood in here, lol))
Anzel's picture

I wants a pinecone.

Someone, go pester Michael to hold another test. If I can scamper around the forest with friends in the snow, I'll freak Laughing out loud

Oh, and Nurra has a question:

Why are there tulips in the snow?
Anzel's picture

*dies* Is it just me? o.o;

The community site/forum/etc. keeps randomly going WHEEEE *splat* I NO LOAD 4 U

<<;

Is it just me?
Anzel's picture

Poem from Taint + Book referral :D

Every day
I find myself falling
Falling downwards in an everlasting spiral
Like the golden apple
Of spring


My heavenly wings
Built of shatterted glass into a form
Meagre to a princess
But that's fitting to me
They fly me away
And return me back
With words upon my lips
That cannot be carried
Nor strayed


And so I ask to the wisest
How to speak forbidden words
And they cannot tell me how
For how can you
With words unheard?


---

I just got done reading a book called Lovelock by Orson Scott Card. If you've never read his work, you should; his most well known story, and most beloved, is Ender's Game.

I loved this book.

It's about a monkey (more specifically, a "capuchin") who is enhanced to be extra intelligent. His job is to help out Carol Jeanne, for he is her "witness". But after a while, he starts to realize he's smarter than they seem to believe. And so he rebels, in a silent way...or at least, he tries to.

It's difficult to sum up the plot. But I loved the book. Why? Much of what he says, is how I feel, how I think. It's near impossible to express some feelings...hard to rebel against feelings you have programmed into you, feelings you have just by existing...and it's hard to explain why.

His views on religions and parasitic relatives amuse me, too x3

This was definately a good book to have chosen for my book review book for English class. Whee. I love Card's writing style in this book. You should read it Eye
Anzel's picture

Arghfurfles.

If the back-up server really has been up for the last half hour that I've been restarting TEF...

...it's acting like the normal server to me. Oh well. Sticking out tongue

C'est la vie, I guess :/
Anzel's picture

~The curious taint in twisting...

I see the greens of the leaves...their wings pathetic, useless to me. How could I manage to fly towards the sky with nothing but fur and heavy decorations spelled out upon my body?

Sadness consumes me, and rage fills me. The fire within my soul, my being of hope and blood spilling out before you, is a lie but isn't fake. For the way I am made and all are made is within in and around me.

I feel as though I'm fading...

This song...this song my human allows my ears to grasp and hold, it feels me. It knows who, true, I am.

I hope...I hope you believe me...

And I hope...

I pray to thee, Twin Gods...let me fly...let me free...

...
Anzel's picture

Bleck x.o

I'm honestly hoping that the normal server is up...because I can't get my pictograms to spread.

If the back-up server doesn't fix my problem...then why did it that one time? ;-;

:/ Sorry if the server is irking anyone...(whichever server it is)
Anzel's picture

Deer friends and enemies...

My friends...my enemies...can you confirm the words of my Lady?

Is one of the Gods truly twisting their hooves around the skies, meddling with my curses properties, trying to free it from me?

As I lie here upon the flowerbed, my ears still tilt towards the sound of not but birds. My Lady has hope, and so do I. Might I wander as a normal fae once more?

Pray to the Twin Gods for me, deer friends...if you have the time to spare...and enemies, pray that I shall be hushed of my curse forever more. For once I wander beyond this forest and into the true forest, I shall leave this accursed past behind. But I shall walk forward...forward, towards my friends...

*smiles*...
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