The October cold can truly bite through my world. I feel as though there is a gap in the skies that leaks the warmth of our forest out, and allows in the spirits and the cold.

I am hiding beneathe the ferns. For what else can I do? I hide within them, I hide beneathe them, but always, always I feel the pierce of the cold upon my hooves. My nose freezes from frostbite. My hooves are chilled, and my flesh is being cut by them from whence they jut out. My ears barely twitch, so to not hurt anymore.

I know that the movement will make me warmer. But I do not care. I lie still. For it stings to move, just as it stings to have the air around me move. I feel my hairs stand on end. But am the lucky one. My pelt is thick and warm. But still. I feel the pain. Tinging at the base of my antlers and my hooves, freezing me still within the confusèd ferns who still dwell in this frostbitten time.

"The clock has stopped just for me..." Just to hear me cling to the ferns like a small babe fawn.

Just like a fawn.

I've been trying to get your attention for months <<;

Tell me, should Anzel just give up, has your deer forgotten about her and how has a mate? *pokes pepokeen's deer who is constantly by yours*

Oy vey x.x Gimme a clue here, lol.

Before me lies the map
Of the eternity
Neverending
And I know
That you stand there
And she stands here
Beside you always
Every time
I see you there
Beside her
There's a little
Hole inside me
Ripping away
Slowly
Every slowly
From my hide

My voice is dull as knifeblades
Used a decade more
Heart is strung on wide strings
Strangling my heart strings
Do you love me anymore
Tell me stag I see you there
Do you know me or my name
The King
I'd kill to see
Beside me

---

There's really only one thing keeping Anzel from going over the edge :/ And he doesn't know she's there. All he does is run around with another fae...and it makes her heart bleed.

I decide that I wanna take a pretty picture of the birds on Pingüino's antlers. So I turn off player identification like I did last night, take 3 screeni...

WHEEE

You're disconnected, sorry!

*connects*

*sees no more deer* T-T *ping's set is lost*

<<;

I swear, I want to devour the server's soul x3

I stare out of these cage bars, cold and solid of the stone it was born from, I know that this is not right.

I mean, yes, I should cherish every gift that the Gods bequeathed unto me. I should cherish my silvern eyes, my elegant hooves and my silent footsteps. I should know that they care about me.

So why do I feel that they do not...?

Endlessly...I wander endlessly...and I wander mystically...not even the great stag of all-wise knows how to cure me of my poison. I'm beginning to wonder if I'm actually a dream.

Stag awake...I arise...but I fall to loneliness...
Stag asleep...I may tread...where his dreams allow me be...
Facing death...I may gallop...in a forest made for me...

---

For every comment I get (no double-posting), I shall post one of my screenies from recent :3 I have lots of pretty screenies, but I dunno if anyone even wants to see them, so...tell me x3

---

ADDED SCREENIES~

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It was forever ago and a day...since I met the fated fawn. As I stare up into the sky, with a small fawn lying in the grasses behind me, nostalgia ravages my heart, and my eyes glimmer with the stars...

---



*blinks* Sluggsy is kissing another deer?

*brain fizzles and feels embarrassed* *slowly backs away*

(just got this screenie)

---



*grins*

---



(commentary will be added)

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*smiles* The forest of the trees, ashen white, glazèd with magenta grasses and sweet lullabies...it is my Rakuen...

---

Nor the night...or anything...I've been trying ever since I heard about the weather...I honestly must have tried at least 150+ times...

WHY can't I FREAKING get the weather to load >_<;...

Like the sound of a drum, her feet beat upon the ground with the eye of nondefeat. I see her, and I think of how much I wish I was her. Within that other world where all the pretty deer play.

I see her, running on and on away from non and non...and I ask her..."What is it that you are running from?"

Silence never leaves her, with her feet scraping away the dirt from the land in her spot truly held. And I say, "You know you cannot run from me forever..."

I collapse to the ground, my eyes set upon the eternally running doe; my legs bleeding.

My eyes fill with dust.

No es
The way I stroll
The way I tremble down the pathway
No, it isn't
All the lies
And all the coldest nights I stray for
But it is
And isn't living
And I am
And not
Alive
And I pray you see the yearning
With the irís
Son my eye

I can't seem to find my face
Nor my hoofprints anymore
Shall the heartbeat stop its turning
Shall the windmill sing no more...?

---

No es = It isn't
Son = With

Because they sounded better, and fit rhythmically.

---

Bumping this since it was completely ignored x.x Thanks alot...:/ C'est la vie. This happened yesterday.

---

Bad day...

A friend of mine thought I would seriously commit suicide (i would NEVER), reported it to the guidance counsellor...

What a fun day this has been...

But the good news...

I'm finally going to be able to talk to a professional about my moods...finally...:3...

Bad news...I'm afraid of who might have heard the rumor she's spreading...

An innocent fawn, hiding behind a tree...


I have a fondness for the sweethearts...

---

I wandered on...and came upon my King...


His form slept...his name showed as mine...his flowers never showed...but I knew it was him...


As I approached him...the forces of life within him tried to cast me back. But I am not fully death yet...I perservered...


I knew that now, in the mortal world, he might be aware that a cold feeling was rushing through his spine...but I hoped he would think of me...


If only he knew...


That I was beside him...


And so...to not overstay my welcome...I bowed to my King...and left him there, unknowing...not knowing if he even remembered my name...

I look down at my carcass, seasoned with blood and spices, and I know what became of me, to become. For the devil wears a double-mask, once an angel and now a prisoner, forcèd to live in the hallowed depths of a world that never wants him. Worshipped by the loones, but never by the true and few who see that he behind his double-mask, into his crypt.

For the devil is a shy one, and a sly one, that's for sure. And every measure has been taken by the two to imprison him, masculine by his nature and by his physical presence, within the catacombs of loneliness, and within the depths of me.

I fell in love with him the first time I saw him, lying there in the dawn of dusks, surrounded by the blind, mattering and twittering amongst themselves. I knew right then who he was and how he called me, I knew at once how my name and heart denounced me. But no matter how I tried, she continued to latch unto me like a pricker in the double-rain.

Dead awoken, I arise from the prison in which I am kept day, after day, after day. I challenge myself, put myself through the test of breaking my eyes free of the gripping closeness they so desire every breeze that whips them. I open them because she's there, and I know she'd never forgive me if I closed them forever.

The blind and the bleeding never know what they are missing until they are gone into the realm where all folks roam. Into the fear and into the antagonist, we follow every night when we go to sleep.

And still, my heart knows it lacks something. And my life, and my soul, knows she's missing. The final piece of the puzzle to let me see my own eyes closed.

This reflection in the pond...it only steals the real me.

---

My teardrops fall in a puddle like the last rain.

.....