TEF Etiquette Comic: Consent

WayfarerHart's picture



As role-players, it's important to respect the line between In Character and Out Of Character at all times, this means all involved parties should have some means of communication between what's okay and what isn't.
Depicted in this comic is a situation where one character is IC, but the other is, for whatever reason, unable to return with an IC response. This could be because their player is AFK, or perhaps don't want any drama. Whatever the reason it should be respected. If the antagonist were to then go on and include the encounter in an update, this is making it an OOC issue that disrespects the other player that will inevitably cause discomfort and upset. It's extremely rude.

That being said, the same applies for a character acting indirectly malicious, for example marking/damaging a place of significance to the other player's character without being willing to keep the other player informed, that too is OOCly disrespectful.

Consent should always be given when negative interaction is involved. This can be achieved through messengers, biographies, or even receptive ingame behavior. If consent is given, then go ahead and enjoy yourselves! But if it isn't, then you must respect the player's choice no matter what.

On a related note, it's also important to acknowledge that whether it's denied or not, your characters actions and portrayal are your responsibility as a player. There is absolutely no shame in making compromises, if even on OOC terms, if it means avoiding completely unnecessary drama between players. One can't use "IC" as an excuse to justify hurting someone's feelings if it's completely avoidable.

I hope that, like last time, this comic is taken constructively rather than met with criticism.

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

Important.

Important.

Well written!!

Well written!!

Yes ! T-T

Yes ! T-T

You are a saint, man. Quote:

You are a saint, man.

Quote:
that whether it's denied or not, your characters actions and portrayal are your responsibility as a player.

Quote:
One can't use "IC" as an excuse to justify hurting someone's feelings if it's completely avoidable.

This will always be very important. You turn the computer on. You click the mouse. You open TEF. You push the keys. Therefore, you are responsible for your character. Using the whole "I have no control because he/she/they is IC" is a petty excuse to draw back on to justify anything and everything you choose to have your character do. It shows lack of consideration for others, as well as a clear lack of skill as a roleplayer.

Preach it ♥

Preach it ♥

hell yes ♥

hell yes ♥
SoliloquyChryseis's picture

Really cant agree with this

Really cant agree with this more. And I love this series! They're hilarious but on point Smiling
Echosong's picture

y e s

y e s
Flyleaf's picture

So true , so true !

So true , so true !
Avatar @ Sluggs Siggy @ Amazegenalo
Bouncing Fly by Mary13
Fincayra's picture

Very much in agreement with

Very much in agreement with everything. thank you, vee.
IvyChain's picture

10/10!

10/10!

So true

So true
Draak's picture

yeeeeep

yeeeeep
Jiaruqa's picture

Preach!

Preach!
OkamiLugia's picture

(No subject)

Bayleen's picture

Ofc, seconding this comic b/c

Ofc, seconding this comic b/c it's funny AND informative. Also Okami- LMAO. killed me.
mainpage
Mjrn's picture

Anybody who says they can't

Anybody who says they can't control their character is a disrespectful nuisance.
Tuba antlers op tho plz nerf
Account previously Mjrn, returned to Veedeer.
Calinka's picture

Thank you so much for this!

Thank you so much for this!
Thais's picture

Thank you a lot for this, I

Thank you a lot for this, I had consent issues with a player recently, but seems to be in the past now <3
Display pic by crabbycrown ♥
Kallonate's picture

Giving this a nudge, was

Giving this a nudge, was looking for it.
Draak's picture

aaand a bump

aaand a bump

Yes definite bump omg

Yes definite bump omg
0baf0's picture

!!!

!!!
Icon - ahimsa.Signature - Qanat. ♥
WayfarerHart's picture

up we go.

up we go.

onowl's picture

Mmmmmm v: important always.

Mmmmmm v: important always.

All of the yes I think these

All
of
the
yes

I think these comics are a real blessing to this community, and reminds us of what can easily be forgotten in the excitement of things.
Aquilo's picture

Relevant as always &hearts;

Relevant as always ♥
Player & Character Hub
Discord: Gulonine#4267
ChocolateTabbyKat's picture

(No subject)

<33

reminder to ask for permission

Bumping, saw/read/heard

Bumping, saw/read/heard something similar to this happening today.
And for a gentle reminder. Be kind, please. We're all here to get away.
Thais's picture

This should be on the front

This should be on the front page.
Display pic by crabbycrown ♥
OshiBoo's picture

Bumping this.

Bumping this.
Sannosuke's picture

Let's try our best to get all

Let's try our best to get all sides of stories ^^
I welcome you with open arms to stay away from me
ChocolateTabbyKat's picture

Please, please don't start a

Please, please don't start a dispute on this blog. :{

If you feel like creating a thread rather than posting in private then by all means but I'd hate to see a good blog, posted for a good cause, to be filled with negativity. Thank you. ;;
Sannosuke's picture

I say that here because I

I say that here because I know that bump is just another attack at me.
It's Sen who has the post up for the Discord room and it's likely Sen who removed me from it.
It's a VERY passive aggressive "bump."
Don't want negativity? Don't start none, won't be none
I welcome you with open arms to stay away from me
ChocolateTabbyKat's picture

Please, please don't start a

Please, please don't start a dispute on this blog. :{

If you feel like creating a thread rather than posting in private then by all means but I'd hate to see a good blog, posted for a good cause, to be filled with negativity. Thank you. ;;

WEEEEEE BUMP CUZ IT'S BEEN A

WEEEEEE BUMP CUZ IT'S BEEN A FEW WEEKS
also i still love this sm and wish it was on recent page always

always nice to have a fresh

always nice to have a fresh reminder! <3
WayfarerHart's picture

Bumping. Friendly reminder

Bumping.

Friendly reminder to only keep aggression between IC deer, especially now with the campaign inevitably drawing in new people, who have a more peaceful impression of the forest from M&A. Now is an especially important time to be making a good impression!
Nameless or OOC deer should never, under any circumstances, be attacked!

Friendly reminder to some of

Friendly reminder to some of y'all ´v´

I agree

I agree

v imPORTANT

v imPORTANT

(No subject)

<3

Yup. I typically put on their

Yup. I typically put on their profiles which characters are ok for IC drama and which are not, make it a bit easier.
Shey's picture

MMMMMmmmmm

MMMMMmmmmm
Qanat's picture

I AGREE WITH THIS BUT! I'll

I AGREE WITH THIS

BUT!
I'll preface this by saying i'm notnotnotnot targeting anyone in particular, I'm just concerned because I find this bumped after I interact with people sometimes but nobody ever contacts me.. directly? And I don't assume these recent bumps are for me but IT'S ALSO IMPOSSIBLE TO TELL CRIES, especially as I have active and sometimes aggressive characters. But this has been on my mind for a bit AAND I FIGURED I'D SAY, as i'm growing a lil more PARO

If people are bumping this regarding a particular situation I think it would be more helpful to actually go the the person they feel hasn't followed these guidlines? 99% of the time it seems like people are under the impression that everything is okay until they find out someone's said something about it behind closed doors, to someone else.

aGAIN TOTALLY NOT SAYING ANYONE WHO'S BUMPED THIS RECENTLY IS LIKE THAT LAKSDNLKAND BUT having dealt with it myself I don't think just passive bumping of this is going to alert anyone to ingame things not being enjoyed IF THAT'S WHY IT'S BEING BUMPED. 3:

People seem to forget that part of this post points out that IC, ingame reactions are also assumed to be consent. If you play along nobody knows you're not having fun unless you tell them- I don't think most people think you're behind your computer, upset about the interaction that you're partaking in going on, if you know what I mean. Especially when the vaaaaaaaaast majority of the RP community here lives off of and lOvEs spontaneous RP. Like Valeska said, with the minority being those who dON'T i think it would be super helpful to everyone if those who were like 'fukkin stop pls' would put a note about it on their bio? Not to put the responsibility on them! But for their own sake, and to lessen any stress or drama.

SO AS AN OPEN INVITATION, if anyone has any issue with my character spontaneously approaching theirs, you can contact me personally or just not react ingame but if there's ever something that upsets you about how I play, please please don't just bump this blog. istillremaincluelesswithonlysortofaninklingifyoudo
MWAH TY ILU i hope this doesn't come off preachy or blame-y! just trying to save myself and others some trouble
Convel's picture

I agree with everyone here.

I agree with everyone here. If an interaction is not desired, then it should not be forced.

BUT

I also agree to the notion, that not everyone might be aware how 'rejection' works in the game. With no chat visible, with some people not visiting their own blog or not even having one, it might be very difficult to communicate 'I dont want this'. To be honest, doing most of the ingame actions (running away, threatening, attacking) can be considered IC reactions. I mean, how is the person going to know you dont want to interact when you -in their opinion- play along?

Note: I am not talking about unresponsive lying down deer.

I have noticed this when I played tag with a fawn and soon enough it was clear it wasnt a game, instead they were trying to get away from my Convel in OOC. I still cant tell if a deer's action is IC or OOC, despite not being new to the game. There is no clear indication for that, especially when not all deer are friendly in IC either.

What I found works -if I dont desire an interaction- is to stand still, face the deer and do the simple 'shake head' emote a couple of times. They always catch on and move on without confusion.

So my two cents is in TL;DR version: Try to be as clear as possible. If you dont want an interaction, do not play along.
I run like a deer, jump like a deer and think like a deer.

IC approaches for me are very

IC approaches for me are very rare in game. I let others come to me, as I don't want to push anyone to interact with me if they don't feel like it, as I'm still unsure of EVERYONE who is willing and who isn't. In the past year I've only had TWO ICly approach me once each. One was planned, one wasn't, both positive.

But if someone approached my deer and I wasn't up for interactions, I would do the calm head shake, without any other actions. If she is being the IC protective-aggressive, she would do the "listen" fast headshake with the "taunt" action after it to imitate yelling and stomping. If they didn't understand the OOC action then I would simply sit and find a profile to comment under.

That said, there's only one or two characters of mine that don't take violence well, but being a seasoned roleplayer, I accept all forms of interaction. I just prefer text RP since I can't use hotkeys in the forest till I get a new computer.
Draak's picture

Quote: I still cant tell if a

Quote:
I still cant tell if a deer's action is IC or OOC, despite not being new to the game. There is no clear indication for that, especially when not all deer are friendly in IC either.


I generally go by if you click on the picto on the map, and they have a bio of some sort it's safe to say they're IC. If they don't (or it's a "page not found") I'll always treat them as OOC.

Though the comic is helpful,

Though the comic is helpful, agreeing to the notion that you shouldn't bump the comic alone in order to expect results. I know recent times I had bumped it were definitely when i was salty, dealing with a player who would specifically ignore me and my friend's clear dislike out of how they targeted the group and OOCly wrote things out about our chars that was clearly out of hate rather than IC interactions. So it was kind of like a reminder of sorts AFTER we repeatedly spoke to said player though.. that player never seemed to understand it.

BUT that being said, this comic is still good to keep in mind for usually newer players who don't understand IC/OOC things ;[ at least how I always took it.

Also agreeing with Draak, that's how I always decide if someone is IC or not. Then again, some people like drama and some don't who are IC so!! you gotta SPEAK up for yourself if you're not digging it ;[ most TEF players are understanding and then would avoid your char to keep them the peace they want ♥
Convel's picture

It isnt a 100% method,

It isnt a 100% method, though. I think 'Page not found' could be linked to new gen pictos? This doesnt mean they are OOC or IC. Many people would lose out on RP opportunities if we base it on that.
Not to mention there are RPers who dont have a blog or bio but still respond to actions. And there are many more who do have a bio or blog but are not IC at all, even if their blog says they are always IC.

The matter is kind of messed up and complicated. So it requires some tolerance and patience on both sides.
I run like a deer, jump like a deer and think like a deer.