Of the Chemical Dust

Artwork by Sleepything, sprites by wormwoods! Poem source



UY

Maijatla (or 'Maija')
Gives name only when expressly introduced to select ties (and conceivably learned of through relations)

Belewe, Trine, Dicentra, Veil

As it appears. Doe.Physiologically adapted to dark, cavelike conditions.

Capable of bearing young from any sex. Some superficial similarities with elk, red deer.
#32 Reference #010775/#6322e6 Bisexual.Exclusively attracted to females.
Mimicked interests in males.
Polyfidelitous.Open and unjealous with physical acts. Far more discriminating with emotional intimacy.

Partnered to Éasca.
Distinctions.Mid adulthood.

Black copal, annatto, juniper.

Affected by a flux and flow of otherworldly energies.


march 3rd, 2020


(this sure would have made sense as two diary entries...)

Remaining lenient after a confrontation with Greitai an attempt to give the raptor the very words would which may begin a process of closure for herself. Playing in whatever margins have been left by the raptor neglecting to do so, whether a deliberate choice or merely something Greitai hasn't thought much of. Keeps her conflict to herself and has been spending time trying to navigate around the raptor's terms with those of her own kept close to her chest.

Ended up bringing Vrasa back to the flat she and Éasca share in another realm, after a particularly difficult night, at Greitai's request. Glad to be able to see the girl patched up and out of harm's way firsthand, only feeling a parallel dread over no such certainty of Greitai's whereabouts or well-being in the days to follow.

Spent the down time spent trying to take care of Éasca, who had been taking care of everyone else, though checked in to the forest each day after bringing Vrasa back in case the girl hadn't found her way home.

Along with Éasca, attempting to slowly replenish Pagan's medical stores and amassing some ideas of things they can possibly add, or might need to attain. Though she's convinced Éasca has no expectations past a loud normalcy that has been unfolding, clinging to a feeling shared with the other woman a few weeks ago and still aspires to better things for them both in a certain way.

Received the attention of Ephiré and his intriguing companions (Verve and Thais) during a check-in with Vrasa, introductions made thanks to the girl and, after, enlightened to the events that had occurred between the raptors, Rossamund, Plague, and Chitz the night before. An utter relief when she finally saw Greitai a few days later and that she had had her injuries seen to and Vrasa back under her wing, a sense of fortune convening out the simple fact that the raptoress had used the chance to pull herself back up and not fester as many others would.

Coming to enjoy a sense of peace brought through regular ties -Crescent, Maddox, Lee, Andras, Starsets, and Carmine, and some more recently discovered (Vrath, Rye, Utu, Gair, Anpiel, and Weasel). Especially sympathetic as Maddox dealt with some tensions among her personal ties, and each effort she had to make to try and smooth things over - though completely respected the doe's desire to repair things for the others.

Braam, meanwhile, is becoming more of a problem, especially given his recent focus on Éasca. Grew more and more overwhelmed during his most recent attack and if it hadn't been for a desire to watch over Ember while she rested, and Anpiel's presence, unsure what she would have done as Braam's aggression drew toward Maddox, Carmine, and Éasca in turns.

Dismayed by the toxic effect Braam's spines had on Maddox and Carmine, and a few days later, the separate state of peril that had fallen on Lee. Stayed nearby after she and Éasca were greeted and led over by Carmine, just as ready and hopeful as the others to do anything they could to offer aid, though equally worried that finding aid wasn't the real issue.

Sensitive to a general unease felt by Éasca throughout the day, so wasn't too surprised when Haze excused herself after a time spent in the area which had amassed a decent crowd. Was a little surprised to see that she ended up retreating to Greitai and her nest nearby, however. Felt the need to spend a little longer to ascertain more knowledge about Lee's condition, particularly when Crescent also came by to pay a visit, though dearly hoped to join the females afterward. Left when others in the area dispersed to watch a nearby fight, merely keeping off to the sides and trying to keep track of apparent alliances or conflicts. In this came to be aware of some ripples in the fragile peace that had seemed to form from Chitz's recent conversation with Greitai - coming to a head as a chase broke out, followed by some charges and blows.

Attempts to follow up with a rattled Greitai were rocky initially, and at one point readied herself to try and quell tensions between Grei and a well-meaning Sabbath, but the need was anticipated and negated by Honeythorn placing herself between her and Greitai, and the Ophidian. Couldn't express the appreciation she felt in that moment so settled for a grateful look to Thorn before using the opening to follow Grei. Watched as someone she vaguely recognized (Devani) spoke with the raptoress first, Greitai eventually warding her off and attempting the same with her.

Ended up negotiating something... with Greitai... and went to bring Easca over to join them. Doesn't intend on overusing the ground gained (literally) but very much glad for the comfort while it lasted.

Glad to see Lee up and moving today, checked in with Maddox and a visit with Gair and Éasca after.


february 11th, 2020


Unwittingly compromised her and Easca's relationship with Greitai. Reprimanding herself for certain indiscretions in that night and in several instances preceding and following. Some related hostilities from the raptoress one night amidst an attack from the creature who had mauled Greitai and Easca a week earlier ('Brother'). Sought Greitai out the next night to attempt to obtain a sense of closure; only managed to deliver an apology and request to the raptor thanks to Sky-Sight's intervention.

Careful and overly aware of how outsiders might influence things, has been shifting between a guarded manner and breezy frivolity when she does engage at all. Allowing herself quiet. Forthright to Easca only, grateful for even the moments of resigned melancholy in the other doe, which serves to ground her and also further draw any attention of well-meaning friends.

Enjoying the frequent companies of Maddox, Starsets, and a growing familiarity with more distant faces (Andras, Ephire, Crescent, Dappled) and fawns. Especially tender-hearted toward Maddox's efforts, despite an accompanying sense of sadness that often attends their interactions - more a result of circumstances than anything specific to the glimmering doe herself. And in regards to Ember, quickly becoming endeared to the doe and her enticing aura of intelligence and sensitivity. Feels a fondness even for her frequent stag companion (Carmine), finding something refreshingly frank about what she's observed and content to have known little of that directness for herself so far despite his obvious readiness to engage with the world when needed.

Loops and circles. Gaining a confidence through the semblance of a regular social group but with it a disparate sense of loss. Recent run ins with some fearful beasts ('Brother', Braam), and turning her mind onto other responsibilities.


january 31st, 2020


Woke up with a few worries having matured themselves in her head overnight - slept much of the morning away in an attempt waylay their chiding. Spent some quiet time with Éasca, and then left to make some preparations, well aware of the sizable room she's leaving for herself to forestall things by thus far only committing in menial gesture and not thought or word.

Returned to the aftermath of something odd (actually many odd things), specifically 'something wrong' as Greitai would eventually describe it. Put her curiosity aside for the time and did her best to clean Greitai's injuries along with Éasca while they had hold of the raptor's patience, though morose when they reached a point where Haze concluded there wasn't much more they could do here and now. Frustrated slightly by hitting yet another wall, was given pause by the raptoress turning her sights on Éasca and her injuries. Unsure of her seriousness but after noting Éasca's comfort level, had no qualms with encouraging it.

Reflective over an aspect of Greitai's behavior, but held from her usual impulse to cajole and assuage, reminding herself of what she felt had cost her her friendship with the raptor years ago. Conveyed what she could in the manner that felt most comfortable and felt an immense relief at the congenial note on which the night ended, feeling it was owed to both females at the very least.


january 29th, 2020


Finding it strangely disconcerting to be the only descendant from Amnula sighted recently, sparing her daughters and some individuals whom she'd assumed to be the starred bull's offspring. With never having known a life without dodging Takato's presence or stressing over Bane, or her home herd, finding she's suddenly free to explore the lonesomeness she'd never once thought she'd have, though to say it's been entirely good or bad is to simplify the thing too much.

Valuing the time and leniency, and with a certain doe's help, finding more meaning out of the quiet than she'd ever hoped to, to say nothing of the freedoms. Taken with the recent opportunity to meet Yazul and Etomo, two of Fenrir and Jörnburnd's children, reassured by the wolf that he was only preparing her for their eventual united attack as a family. Incredibly happy about this, despite some conflicting realizations that she'd try to keep to the back of the mind for now.

Reconnected with Greitai over an unexpected run-in nearly a month ago, when the raptor had caught the wrath of three others. Attempted to do what she could to zone the brawl, filled with a sinking despair when she realized the males involved (Plague and Ramsus) seemed to be swapping in for the doe ('Chitz'), and her hopes for a dubiously fair fight were trampled among other things. More grateful than she was able to express for the ones who didn't throw their antlers and teeth in, one stranger's neutrality at a crucial moment (Ephire), and a check-in from another (Maddox). Didn't have the presence of mind to greet them at the time, or acknowledge some concerns from Sabbath and Ingólfr. In the latter's case, especially wary of altering his relationship with Nélida in any way. Expressed as much and was heavily grateful when the mercenary implied he'd keep an eye out and his mind open.

Surprised by her following acknowledgement by the raptoress but incredibly grateful to be counted as a presence by her again. Careful to expect nothing. At the same time, endeared by certain efforts made by both Éasca and Greitai toward each other, one on a snow-filled night that uplifted her spirits by a lot and something Greitai said a few days later among other valued highlights.

Met the raptor-child Vrasa, and properly reunited with Pagan (in between constant visits to slip supplies out of her stash). Becoming acquainted with the feeling of gratitude for every story she hears about her daughters from their friends or guardian-figures, and much more a sense of admiration for the girls themselves no matter the space she's been careful to honor since her return.

And still- finding it ever more difficult to tolerate being alone with her thoughts lately, seeking out new faces, familiar company, or easy distraction with a desperation she tries to conceal. Misses Mirah, and some other faces that had once been like fixtures to her in the Endless. Met an expecting mother (Lasair), Kaoori (through an attack by Jericho) and Maddox (properly) in the past weeks, and a few more new faces through unfortunate circumstance ('Lee' and Sidi).

Grim regarding some events from this morning. Favoring her leg heavily, knowing she's overdue to check-in soon, but has been leery to try to make the journey back to Amnula with the healing limb.


december 28th, 2019


Finding it pathetic and recursive that she's returned to the Endless in much the way she had arrived years ago: wide-eyed with a half formed plan, realizing a serious oversight too late.

Had something happen outside of the Forest that caused her to come to question her self-worth in a few ways, despite dismissal of the whole thing from her peers. Has come to a conclusion about some of her ties that she's been unable to shut out despite better reasoning. Unused to the chip in her confidence and has been keeping a steady face, self-counseling and taking quiet moments that are never directly acknowledged.

Feeling her age, or lack thereof, deeply, yet tightly constrained by the future which feels to be hanging over her head.


october 7th, 2019


Spent her first night back in the Endless tending to Éasca's wounds with a sort of rote purposefulness, trying to drive off the lingering, sick swell of panic and her partner's apology. Grateful for Aramantha's assistance during Brent's attack and what she probably doesn't realize to be check-ins from the mare in the days the follow. Considers Brent's particular brand of destruction to be chaotic and blind - his actions toward Éasca felt senseless, which doesn't make them any easier to cope with, but doesn't consider them to be in any more or less in danger than they ever were, in the company of monstrous stags and their demons. That said, has been extremely careful of attracting his attention again in any major way since the incident which seems to have been enough so far.

Reacquainted herself with Pagan's personal medicine stash; not her first choice of how she might reconnect with her old friend, but still found a sense of comfort in the abundance of items that have certainly grown in number and utility since she'd last browsed her stores. Evidence that the doe was prevailing, at least in one way. Took care of Orbit, Aramantha, and her own wounds, and gave the Vampire her proper thanks. Fell selfishly into a reunion with Fenrir not long after, and took strength from that conversation though it still only touched the surface of what she'd wanted to say.

Over the past few days there have been plenty moments for respite, moments that almost convince her to lay still and breathe. Always gets a glimpse of something - Éasca's injured leg or a skirmish in the distance, to keep her on her guard. Finding the sight or meaning of blood evokes a squeamishness not previously held, quietly loathes this new weakness. Evasive and dizzy, presenting an innocuous, airheaded demeanor and employing small tactics to brush off any unwanted questions.

Woke to Mirah beside her, today. Relieved at her very presence and after making a quick trip around the Forest returned to lay with her head over the Amahni's shoulder.


september 25th, 2018


(i fucked this up)

december 28th, 2017


Received an overwhelming show of generosity in the form of supplies given by Pagan and Fenrir over the week. Spent some time sorting through the items with her children and speaking to them of a few related possibilities. Heartwarmed by the gifts, but unwilling to let any opportunity pass by without due regard.

In high spirits after the successful relocation of her compatriot, an especially warm night spent with Éasca, and, of course, the arrival of Mirah's offspring. Visiting the new family frequently, quick to dote on her friend or lend an extra pair in eyes should Mirah need to take time to look after herself.


october 9th, 2017


Ever-so-slightly on edge as the result of a tiresome journey and instructions she'd recently received from her homeland. At any rate, relieved to be back in the company of her loved ones and to see to the next task.


september 1st, 2017


Came into a refreshing set of answers during the rut and even managed to find a renewed sense of purpose somewhere amid meeting a myriad of charming new faces. Took strongly to the task of drowning out her own woes in the allure of others, and for once not feeling the alienating sense of separation between herself and her new cohabitants. Extremely pleasant distractions and comforts that were greatly needed given the emotional couple of nights that had preceded the season.

Still - tiring. And probably nothing better exemplified her compromised judgement and inward fatigue than the fact that she and Éasca agreed to make the journey back late last night. On equal parts excitement, nerves, and pure delirium, made their way back to her herd's territory where their daughters were waiting for them. Resistant to the idea of staying the rest of the day as soon as she saw her fawns - tight-lipped on the conflicting emotions that had risen to the surface, save for softly asking Éasca to help her washing their coats clean of the new pastes and then set off on the trip back to the Endless after making appropriate visits. Shared the task of carrying the fawns toward the end of the trip, allowing Aleta and Neli to return home fully rested and alert, and UY anything but...


september 29th, 2017

Has had her homeland on her mind consistently over the past months, but never so much as with the recent change of seasons and reminder that this would mark a full year since her departure. Left Aleta and Neli with Éasca one night and embarked on her first visit back, returning a few nights later with an invitation for her children, as well as Éasca, if the doe wished.

Reluctantly returned to the Forest after leaving her daughters under the tutelage of an esteemed associate before making back for the Forest the night before last. Enjoyed Éasca's presence during what would have otherwise been an extremely difficult trip if she'd been left with only her own thoughts for company. Remaining as sure and tranquil on the outside as possible, not wishing to reward Éasca's trust in her herd or herself with the constant worry that torments her mind over the decision. Telling herself it's simply the emotional nature of the whole situation that's compelling her to rush back and reclaim their girls before the few weeks are up.


april 12th, 2017

Though all too aware of the ever-present risk of danger in the Forest, has been taking care and precautions to avoid it, at least as much as it has been in her power. Approaching this with new tact and diffidence after playing witness to a fight yesterday, just meters away from where Aleta was sleeping peacefully on just the other side of the Playground rocks. Despite every desire to move, froze on shaking legs until long after it moved and died off on its own, and then, only when she was sure, curled tightly around the fawn in a bald attempt to comfort only herself, and not the oblivious infant.

Picked herself up afterward, in one way or another. Heeding it as a much-needed reminder, among other things.


march 16th, 2017

With stresses adding up over the course of the past week, and one particularly close call the day before, broke into the worst mindset she has had since arriving in forest. Tasted fear as strongly as if she was one of the fawns, experiencing it new for the first time. Spent the night trying to swallow it, and discern just why it had struck her so potently, doing her best to assume a placid mask by proverbial daybreak.

Gave a warm smile to Éasca when she arrived, but didn't, or couldn't, take the doe up on her initial offer to watch the fawns. Among a myriad of other reasons for her refusal, didn't want whatever bond that developed between Éasca and the fawns to occur under obligation or doubts about her own abilities. More comfortable later on, when Éasca initiated an excursion with Aleta on her own; gladly wished them a pleasant outing and didn't collect Aleta until much later.

Took the time between to solidify a resolution she'd on some level known she had to make when she first decided to move to this Forest. Somehow easier, afterward.


march 16th, 2017

Adjusting to several major changes and events in life: her decision to fully relocate to the Endless Forest followed closely by the birth of two daughters, Aleta and Néli.

Thankful for the help and kindnesses she's received, but has been functioning under undeniable levels of exhaustion as the days add up. Didn't feel completely herself until being able to steal a few minutes the second day, while her children were resting, to wash off under the fresh water at the Crying Idol. Has been in seemingly better spirits since then, having allowed her fawns to repaint themselves with playful, irreverent patterns that remind her less of what is left behind.


Physicality
Fresh lacerations to chest, legs, back; fleeing marks.
Left haunch heavily favored from an apparent sprain.
Fur along neck and shoulders growing back in over scars.
Mindset
Contemplative.




Deliberate Welcoming Circumspect Avid Biding Duplicitous


From a remote, lightless region of the effulgent forest inhabited by various others, including Takato's former herd. Has a dense, water-repellent coat, and a collection of thin, ribbon-like filaments that serve as auxiliary sensors to a certain end.

Loves her offspring with all her heart, but from an early age, staked her life to something that she holds of far greater import than fawn-rearing. Does not consider her life to be worth more; simply considers her obligations to be expansive and, at present, unfulfilled. Acknowledges that the ultimate sacrifice, if required of her, wouldn't be her own life, but that of her young, and that she doesn't have the luxury of denying said possibility. Will protect her young to the utmost of her power and resources, that said. they made it...

Considers the last volume of her life to be prewritten, and believes she has a good idea how the key chapters should unravel, too.

Accommodating and flexible in almost all regards. Not without preconceptions and customs from her homeland, but realizes that upholding them blindly in this forest will not serve her well. Slips from time to time and, though friendly, is reserved in declaring actual friendships. Remorselessly reveals parts of herself if she believes it will further her interests, though is not always as guileless as she may wish to appear.

Frequently decorates herself in a phosphorescent paste that originates from her homeland. Favors a blue pigment that releases high amounts of luciferase after sufficient immersion in darkness.

relationships

Éasca
Confidante, lover, partner. Trusted fully; need and want. Contradictions. Propriety and daring.

Aleta and Nélida
Daughters by Éasca. March 12th, 2017

Taltéis
Confidante.

Mirah
Confidante, missed.

Greitai
Liked entirely too much. Contradictions. Inhibitions and tenderness.

Vrasa
Adored staunchly, tries to treat as kindly as she can.

Ember
Friend, admiration, respected.

Sabbath
Intimidation, admiration.

Maddox
Friend, initially endeared by her fondness of Éasca and later grew a concern for her after some terrible events.

Pagan
Friend, missed.

Crescent
Fond of, appreciates, but with a mindfulness of something he'd said when they first met years ago.

Carmine
Admired, respected.

'Lee'
Respected.

Andras
Respected, curiosity.

Takato
:\ But respected.

Rye, Vrath, Utu, Anpiel, Dappled Sunlight, Phaios, 'Bane,' Asmos, Kaoori, Ingólfr, Zafir, Ephiré, Sky-Sight, Gair, Weasel, Azar
from before-
Nanook, Limaria, Ehsan; Keidasi; Rhona; Lyndsea; Annelise; Jude; Freya; Stria; Mirza; Liathe and Fletcher




Lo de atrás se queda lleno de maleza amarilla, huertos sin frutos y ríos sin agua. Jamás ningún hombre cayó de espaldas sobre la muerte.

Sleepything's picture

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<3

adorable art by Tuoho! ♥

hi

hi

Sig: Aihnna

&hearts;!!

♥!!

Signature by Terabetha
pumpkinseed's picture

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Smiling

&hearts;!!

♥!!
Silverfang's picture

&hearts;!!!

♥!!!
Silverfang's picture

&hearts;!!! double the

♥!!!
double the love...

&hearts; {:

♥ {:

(No subject)

Ooh Sticking out tongue
HoneyDiva's picture

~&hearts;

~♥
Tisority's picture

:j sits &hearts;

:j sits
11dollarbills's picture

thank you for the tracks,

thank you for the tracks, guys!
look out, kid.

ShrinkingRose's picture

Throwing a track into the

Throwing a track into the bunch too~

&hearts;

idiosyncrasies's picture

&hearts;

WayfarerHart's picture

(No subject)

<3

Hraeth's picture

i love her..

i love her..

&hearts;

Shey's picture

late track!!! ?

late track!!! ♥
Awentia's picture

Track!

Track!
Discord: Tzvii#9954 // Signature by Wake.
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&hearts;&hearts;&hearts;

♥♥♥
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/sits

/sits
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&hearts; t

♥ t

sig by Springbird

&hearts;

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yus

yus


made by foxofthestars!

hello neighbor

hello neighbor
ShrinkingRose's picture

.

.

finally

finally

Sig: Aihnna

bunnybee's picture

hoo boy i lvoe her

hoo boy i lvoe her

sig by Springbird

11dollarbills's picture

One response every six months

One response every six months feels right... SORRY for the late replies, everyone! But really appreciate the tracks, thank you so much (everyone but ems, really!!)!
look out, kid.

snow's picture

She's so gorgeous &hearts;

She's so gorgeous ♥
CrossTrot's picture

Shes so pretty

Shes so pretty
Leotie's picture

&hearts; &hearts; &hearts;

♥ ♥ ♥
11dollarbills's picture

&hearts;! Thank you guys, and

♥! Thank you guys, and JD for putting up with my...... aesthetic.
look out, kid.

0baf0's picture

&hearts;

Icon - ahimsa.Signature - Qanat. ♥

(No subject)

<3 {:
Calix's picture

track

track <3
Chizzu's picture

I swear I had this tracked

I swear I had this tracked ... T-T
Juukax3's picture

! :3

! :3
11dollarbills's picture

Thank you all for the

Thank you all for the tracks!!
look out, kid.

(No subject)

<3
xty's picture

hey! ?

hey! ♥

&hearts;


Sig made by WildflowerDeer

but most of all, apologies to

but most of all, apologies to thais and galene

what about franklin?? bitch

Sig: Aihnna

phantomhelsing's picture

-shy wave- o/

-shy wave- o/
pumpkinseed's picture

Pagan's final stop leads her

Pagan's final stop leads her to the area that she's come to know as Uy and Easca's home. Though the pair are not there tonight, their scents linger boldly on the foliage and trees that surround her, and she is confident that it won't be long before they return to claim their space. Despite the sadness that seems to follow her everywhere she goes these days, there are still some things to be grateful for. Among them is the kindness Uy and Easca showed her the night she and Shahla's group went to blows. Not only had they managed to make a safe place for her to recover, but they had paid her a visit once or twice afterward. It was more an act of kindness than many others had shown her up to that point.

Now, she carries their warmth wherever she goes. For them, she leaves a basket of fruit from Takato's home world that she's come to know as rare in these parts: apples both green and red, grapes, and even a few ripe peaches. Surrounding the fruit is the remainder of her stash of medicinal herbs, which she hopes Uy and her family will not necessarily need, but one can never be sure; between the shifting weather and the ever transient moods of the forest, it can't hurt to be prepared. Finally, she drapes two small velvet blankets over the basket handle one on top of the other - one navy, one moss green - which she hopes their children will be able to make use of.

When she's done, she makes a swift retreat into the birch to prepare for her travels.
littleswan's picture

hi

hi <3

&hearts;

Basen's picture

&hearts;

Toshiro's picture

track

track <3