Why~ /short story, PLEASE comment |D/

Vira's picture
-The cold air gave a chill to the bone that could never be repeated. Screams of pain ripped from the fawns mouth as he was slammed against the trunk of a large tree. The sent of purple flowers wafted through the air as they were splattered with young blood. Tossing his head, the small black fawn struggled to be free of the white antlers that surrounded him, pinning him to his death bed. Blood drooled at the corner of the fawns mouth as the antlers pressed harder and harder against his underside. As the antlers dug deep into his skin, the fawn coughed, sending blood showering the white cage he had gotten himself into. A smirk and a laugh was all the large stag did as he pressed his captive to the breaking point.
+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
As the dawn called, winter birds chirped merrily to one another.
The blood covered snow and flowers showed of a slaughter, but nobody paid any mind. The only thing that truly caught anyones attention was the strange little black fawn with a blood red mark on his face. Its body shivered, trying to keep itself warm as many a doe, stag, and fawn passed by to the grazing area without a second glance. Trying to stand, the fawns body was hit with a wave of burning pain and confusion causing him to fall back down into his blood covered snow. Screaming in pain, he struggled to move, struggled to survive. 'I w-will not be taken down t-that easily next t-time. Once Im better h-he will pay for the suffering he has given to m-me'
Once he gave up on moving from his spot, he curled his body to try and keep warm. Wounds re-opening caused his young body to give a scream of agony that ended with a thick cough, splattering more blood onto the snow.-

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Just a little part of the story I was planning to write for Envy to explain why he is so afraid of the large white antlers. I may finish it but im not sure xD

edit~ added moar >D

8O Continue it, please!

8O Continue it, please! <3

-- Dannii <3
Vira's picture

I added more for yous |D My

I added more for yous |D

Yey! <333 I love it sdkghrj

Yey! <333 I love it sdkghrj MOAR. -demand!-

-- Dannii <3
Vira's picture

xD My Deer

xD

Innisen's picture

The large white antlers? ...

The large white antlers? ... Oh, you mean the squiggly ones? "Squiggly", because they are so hard to draw. Laughing out loud
----
If you can't confuse people with your intelligence, amaze them with your bullshit.
If you can't confuse people with your intelligence, amaze them with your bull****.
Vira's picture

Curse you evil squiggly

Curse you evil squiggly antlers, why must you be so hard to draw? xD

Usually I skip over stories

Usually I skip over stories about fawns tragic bloody childhoods, but since you've gotten so few comments, gave it a shot. I'm glad I did! Short as it is, and being not my usual favorite topic, I still enjoyed it and will surely read again should you continue it.

Vira's picture

thanks Tera :3 I should add

thanks Tera :3
I should add to it later on ^^

Innisen's picture

Oh right, you want some

Oh right, you want some opinnions on the story! Sticking out tongue I fail.
I can't find anything to complain about. It's a fine piece of someone's lifestory. You clearly have written a lot of stories, you have talent. ^^
----
If you can't confuse people with your intelligence, amaze them with your bullshit.
If you can't confuse people with your intelligence, amaze them with your bull****.
Vira's picture

I actually dont write that

I actually dont write that much x3
Although I may start to if people like my stories enough |D

Density's picture

Oh goodness. The mental

Oh goodness. The mental images xD Great writing, though Vira. You always seem to come up with some of the nifitiest things O:

Tally's picture

i smell impending revenge

i smell impending revenge

Lady H: -growls- I hate

Lady H: -growls- I hate them...
Oo -meep- Poor Envy! MOAR! I vote for more! 8D