“It seems I have much to think about and a short time to make a decision.

It’s not a decision I wish to make, but it seems that I must be the one to make it.

I will make no finale decision that much will be left to another, but I must come to some sort of conclusion first.

I never thought I would have this problem, but it seems that now I do, and I must deal with it. I have put it off long enough. It needs to end before it can hurt anyone…me…. any worse.

I guess I should start at the beginning to help myself piece it all together.”

If I had to say I had a true first love I would say it was The Collector. I still am unsure if he is fully aware
of that fact.
It’s difficult to explain why I developed a love for him..most would say it was completely crazy.

I think it was because I could always see more to him than just a mask collecting monster.

In fact I never saw a monster at all.

To me he was just a passionate misunderstood deer and I wanted to get closer to him.

I Just wanted to show him that someone cared.

I wanted to be his friend.

It was shortly after I earned his respect that I realized I had feelings for him.

Then I heard about a great ball that was to be held.

I wished so badly that he would ask me to go with him.

I did not get my hopes up though for I knew he would not be fond of the idea of dancing with a bunch of “worthless” as he calls them.

He did not ask me.

He just disappeared it seemed. I searched for days.

I was certain he was gone forever.

My heart had never hurt so badly in my life, but I never gave up my search.

Right before the ball was to start I spotted a lone stag sleeping by the pond under the willow tree.

He was mask less and wore the kirin pelt and antlers.

I looked closely at his face; even though he was sleeping he looked unhappy.

I continued to study him. I wondered what it was that made him so unhappy then my heart stopped.

It was him. I don’t know how I knew, but it was The Collector.

I had no clue how he got his body back, and I was just so happy that I didn’t think to ask.

I quickly gave him the magpie pelt and mask and the key antlers then took off to the ball.

I didn’t want him to know that I knew who he was just then, but I thought the spells would be a good
hint.

I kept a close eye out for him while I danced at the ball. It was not very long before I saw him sitting under a willow tree. He looked uneasy.

It wasn’t hard to guess why. He was not used to being around so many noisy happy deer.

I tried to remain calm as I approached him. He tensed as I got closer.

I couldn’t help but smile. He smiled back and we danced for what seemed like ages. I said goodbye to him near the pond. I did not say what I wanted to say to him. I just…said bye

Oh how I regret that goodbye.

I can’t help but to think that the events that followed were my fault.

I should have stayed with him…then maybe things would have been different……..

I had a horrible dream…in this dream he killed someone. When I awoke I walked to the pond for a drink that’s when I saw a broken mask lying in the grass…I knew then my nightmare was a reality.

I was horrified, angry and heartbroken.
All I could do was run.

I could not stand the thought of the gods taking him away forever so I ran to the twins statue..and begged for his life…I tried to bargain with them..They replayed to my plea

“Child Gods do not Bargain.”

I felt like my heart shattered into a million pieces.

I couldn’t stand it..why did everything have to be so cruel?

Sadness quickly turned to rage and I charged the stature with my full weight.

It all happened so fast that I didn’t even feel my head collide with the hard stone.

I collapsed.

I could feel blood running down my face. It mixed with my tears and stained the grass..

Everything went black..


I have no idea how long I was out. I just know I awoke in a bitter mood…furious.

I dared anyone to so much as look at me wrong. I had never felt such hate before…

I needed to take it out on something…someone…….then I spotted him

His name was Asaroth…and I just didn’t like his arrogant air and his smug mightier than thou expression.

He sat on A few large rocks looking all high and mighty. I decided I didn’t care how much bigger he was than me..I would knock him off his throne……

I would teach him a lesson that was for sure….

I charged him screaming wildly…He slowly got to his feet and gave me a smug little smirk…

Oh did that make me mad! I attacked him with all I had. I kicked, bit, and did everything in my power to hurt him…and what did he do?...

He just laughed! He didn’t even give me a real fight…obviously he wasn’t going to take me seriously at
all!
I ran off to clear my mind. No doubt I would challenge him again. I was unsure why but…I felt as if I had something to prove to him.

After calming down I returned to challenge him to a real fight. Not just a blind rage filled attack.

I did not fare much better than before however I didn’t give up…

After what seemed to be an eternality He finally stopped fighting back.

I took the opportunity to catch my breath and wondered why he stopped. He tilted his head and seemed to study me with mild curiosity, at last he spoke.

"Spunky little thing aren't you?"

He seemed to be in deep thought and I didn’t like the little grin he was giving me. I started to slowly back away but he halted my retreat with his next words..

"You, doe.Come here. You are my maid now. No arguments or I'll kill you."

Then he simply walked back to his resting spot expecting me to follow.

If a face could break or a jaw could hit the ground I was sure mine did. I only wanted to prove that I wasn’t afraid of him. I had no intention of becoming property for some egotistical warlord!


I had no doubt that he would kill me if I refused. I could not possibly beat him in a fight. He had proven that to me already and even though I felt as I had nothing more to live for, I did not wish death upon myself…

I wasn’t going to give him the honor of killing me anyway. I had been humiliated enough for one day.

I tried to gather up what little bit of pride I had left and quietly walked over. I sat down at his side and just watched the forest for awhile..thinking about the events that took place before my breakdown. I wondered where The Collector was…and if he was ok…

I started to feel sad again..

I looked over at the stag, whom I guessed I would have to call my lord from then on and sighed. I was unhappy about my title and current situation but, I thought, maybe having something to do would take my mind off of things. After all I could always try to escape if I wished.


I tried to be a constant tack in his side. He would pay for my humiliation. I did everything from stealing his sleeping spot to sitting on him. We had arguments at least three times a day but it seemed I could do nothing to make him turn me away. I thought for sure he would grow tired of my foolishness and give me my freedom back or possibly just kill me.

After a while I gave up trying to humiliate him… I was only making myself feel more foolish.

I later discovered that Asaroth had acquired a few warriors and servants as well. I met a few of them. Some were a little unusual but for the most part nice to be around.

One fact started to bother me as time went by..

I was the only maid. How unsettling….

I had to question him about that fact..of course I got a typical half hearted answerer. He claimed it was because I was the only doe that took an interest..Interest!!! The last time I checked he just decided my status for me..

However I accepted that answerer, although I didn’t believe that was all there was to it…..

It became even more obvious that there was so much more to my situation after we spent more time just enjoying each other’s company and less time arguing…….

I realized that maybe the reason I fought and argued with him so much was because I was developing feelings for him and was unsure how to deal with it. I felt guilty…I couldn’t love two..Someone would get hurt…It would be just a matter of time.


So that brings me to this……

Love is a very Hard emotion for me to grasp..

It seems there are as many different ways to love, as there are deer in the forest.

There is the love one feels for a mate, the love a doe has for her fawn, and the love one feels for a close friend.
It has taken me awhile to learn the different kinds of love, but I am slowly beginning to understand.

I just love them both for different reasons; I don’t want to hurt anyone.

Here goes nothing…

Dear Collector I care about you more than you know, but it became obvious after the ball that your passion is your priority.


I can never ask you to change for me. I do not expect you to.
I respect you too much to do so.
I do not blame or resent you for your actions….

but do know that it hurt me deep.

I thought maybe..I was more important to you than the masks.

I guess I was wrong..


No matter what happens you are a dear friend. I will never shut you out of my life. Please do not shut me out of yours.



Asaroth.
.I have no doubts that you wish to make me your mate..

however that is your decision to make.


I care about you a great deal.

I know you care about me too in your own way.

You are not as cold as you think you are..

hehe I promise I will not tell the others in your company that fact.

You brought me aggravation, but also joy in my time of great sadness.

For that I say thank you.”



Ok I will say I’m not a writer XD I’m sure I made mistakes >> but unless it just makes this unreadable I am not worried about it.. I didn’t realize how much ground I had to cover in this thing ID. So it appears she maybe came to a conclusion…or maybe not. I think it just depends on the two stags..(stares at the owners) to make some sort of decision…she is very tender hearted and indecisive..


The collector -belongs to Alicev
Asaroth belongs to Kittycatkita
Night Shade of course belongs to me
ps sorry about the big spaces I just didn't want to burn anyone’s eyes with the gold text running together.



Asaroth’s view (could it be By:Kittycatkita)