you might as well not show up on the street
unless you wanna draw the heat
She sits there and wonders why she came back at all. It's the same from world to world. Her homeworld life consists of her fighting for money, and her life. This world forces her to fight for the right to have a friend. Just one friend, that's all she asks for, sometimes. Just one friend that she doesn't have to fight for. She lost Cypher when he fucked off with Jack and Bright. She's lost Snake now that he's off visiting his wife and kids. She lost someone else, a long time ago. Someone important. Lost him to the Reaper, despite fighting for him. Now she's not sure if she can keep from losing Maeve.
It's all because of bad first impressions and rumours.
Sax has tried very hard to prove herself, to prove that she isn't a danger, but it's difficult when she's getting provoked left right and center. Deer always seem to see her for the first time when she's fighting, and every single time, she's made out to be the bad guy. Sax can't crawl and apologise for hurting a kid about a goddamn year ago, she just can't do it. She wishes she hadn't done it now. Sax has a lot of regrets, actually. Things she can't change. She tried befriending the cat-doe, months ago. She thought she was getting somewhere, but then of course, things happened. Sax was called to work again.
Now that she's alone and able to clear her head, she starts regretting things. Could she have gotten out of that without fighting? What if Umay just wanted her away from Maeve, and was just respecting the titan-doe's wishes? Sax doesn't know, but she wishes now that she hadn't fought back. Well, of course, there was no chance that she wouldn't fight back, for her pride wouldn't allow her to submit, but...if only. If only she could.
She shouldn't have come back.
She should have stayed away.
She should leave again.
It's so difficult to befriend anyone here. Sax has one friend in her homeworld. Sax has one friend here. She could just go back to the old ways, staying in the otherworld constantly. Spending days and days sprawled on the bunk bed in her and Snake's quarters, in the long, underground Initiative complex building. She still doesn't know how to describe that damn place.
Maybe she should go back to that. At least she has things to take her mind off of the loneliness. Here, she just sits under that rock, or in the birch grasses, and thinks about it constantly. It drives her mad. Sometimes she thinks about Cypher, that bastard, and it makes her want to cry because she doesn't know how to feel. She doesn't want to feel.
She doesn't know much of anything anymore, but if there's one thing she does know, it's that things stay the same. They never change.
I like it! Very interesting.
And honey you should see me in a crown.
I like it! Very interesting.
And honey you should see me in a crown.
Titan-doe, I like that. :> I
I feel extremely sorry for Sax though. ♥ Maeve was so glad to see her again, the previous day she had even thought about her and wondered where she could be. D:
sdfkjhsdf thanks guys ;;
Snow; titan-doe |: I thought it fitted. /die ♥ aw Maeve dsdf she's such a sweetheart ;; too bad Sax has gotten herself into such a mess |: