These feelings... (dramaphobe advisory...)
August 24, 2008 - 6:02am — Kanaf
My heart has not been touched by these in so long...
After such a long absence from my home, I was finally granted access. And who to find first after so long? Ah! My good friend Atiq. I actually slipped a smile when approaching him, and he seemed to perk up at the sight of me. It seems he was helping some poor fellow with their set. And so I patiently waited for them to finish.
But soon, we were the only ones left, along with a doe who I now know as Lacey. I have not met her before, but she seemed kindhearted. The three of us sat together in the Birch Forest. Lacey and Atiq carried a conversation, and while I quietly sat back and listened, Atiq didn't forget my presence. He asked me an occasional question when the appropriate time came. And later, Lacey had left, leaving only him and I.
Ah, it was a good while before we set off to do something. Atiq had many questions, and I tried my hardest to answer them clearly. He seemed satisfied. We soon got up, and made our way to the Graveyard.
I try not to think about it... But we were right next to it. My father's grave behind me, a crooked and poorly buried stone showing where it was. He was obviously buried by the little creatures. Gods only know why. I tried to ignore it, and have a little pleasure in casting a few pelt spells on Atiq. But... that clinched it. Atiq ended up giving me the Kirin pelt...
'Twas not his fault, I know. It is bad enough I have those blue jewels forever embedded in my upper legs, but being granted the green scales to encase my entire being brought up the terrible memory. I was... sad... Atiq did not know what was going through my mind so... I showed him the grave. And he understood.
I do apologize for my sudden change of heart. I wanted a little fun for once, and it only ended up reminding me of him. I still hear those words ring through my head. Those words of which I never understood until now. They seemed like utter nonsense to me, until I really thought about it. The words he said didn't register, even though I knew what they all meant out of context.
I will not raise in imperfect child...
Such a coldhearted stag he was, to give me up like that, all because I could not speak? He was truly weak. And all for the better. I have a clear understanding of the world around me. Good riddance to him. To bad rubbish. However... I cannot hold my feelings back any longer. I suppose it is only because I never really knew him, but I still become saddened by his death. And I still remember that image of his body laying amongst the animals as if it happened yesterday.
These feelings I am not ashamed of... But I find my throat tighten as I write these words. I saw her today.
The doe that I have heard so much about. The one who has an alleged "curse". I did not meet her... Something told me to stay away from her. Told me that... I was not ready to speak to her. I only saw a glimpse of her. She does not realize, but she is a very beautiful doe.
I do not know what this feeling is... My heart beats as if I am running, although my legs stay frozen in place. My throat tightens, and my stomach turns. These strange things... are they the product... of love? I cannot love. I should not love. No one has ever loved me. I do not know the feeling, am not familiar with it.
However, I will not let it overwhelm me. If she does not return these feelings, then I shall move on. I have gone my life without love. I do not have much hope for it. I do not want to tamper with it. It is too great a force for any of us to handle, yet we all blindly play with it, unaware of how damaging it can be. I know the dark side of it. I've seen it unravel before my eyes. Yet, I've also seen the lighter side. For I've watched two come closer and closer to each other. And now... *chuckles abruptly* I do not know what's they're doing.
No... She will not return these feelings. I am coldhearted and alone. I have been, and I still am. I have only opened up to my friends once. No one could love someone such as me. My heart is too hardened for that soft glowing light.
And yet... I find it becoming... less like stone... and more like earth...
*wonders who the doe is and
Poor Vessel...he reminds me a little bit of Taint.
i think it might become a
i think Vessel and Taint would get along quite well as far as philosophy goes...
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The Butterfly
The Bird
The Watcher
I feel so confused. I'm
I'm cursed, but I don't think -anyone- saw me today, heh.
Hehe
Taint's felt kinda hurt since you said that Vessel would be scared if she ever liked him or something like that, lol. *pets taint* She won't talk <<;
daw, Taint, i was kidding
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The Butterfly
The Bird
The Watcher
Aww, poor Vessel. :/ This is
Although, it is sad that we now have to address these sorts of entries with a dramaphobe advisory. XD; I should let Wyvern speak one of these days. *watches as everyone runs*
I think I know who it is.
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The Dragonfly Deer's Biography
Bio of the Ruins Duo
*turns her head away, eyes
...
I'm not sure...she as so many repressed feelings, I can't tell what she thinks and who she thinks things of :/ I think she wishes she could befriend him, but now is too afraid...
She just felt hurt because it seemed like you were insulting her...that she was unworthy of his thought, and other such things.
I know :3 She's been very
She's been very hostile towards muh boy though so Im not sure where my blessing ran off too...XDD
But I'm happy for Vessel? I loveh da Vessel. I jus hope he isnt being caught up in the love fest that has been happening lately >< Tis very tempting to be..
@Anzel: aw crap. i never
O_O... *glares at me, now writing something for Taint* Do not listen to what this human says. Her ways are quite strange. *bows* I am Vessel, the Dream Watcher. I am pleased to make your aquiantance.
@Pega: yeah, just dont say it...
i think i just warranted a death sentence XD
@Scythe: why thank you, i try very hard to keep my characters unique *shot* yeah, it gets annoying, but at least it wont flare up any more bashy blogs. yesh! let your deer speak, i want to hear! *puppydog eyes* lol
@Shi: lol, i knew you would know XD daww, theres enough Vessel to go around! geez, i didnt know people would love him so much XD i dont think he'll get too caught up... hes not really like that O_o
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The Butterfly
The Bird
The Watcher
*bows slightly, only
(that last sentence is complete in and of itself, strange as it seems)
We are a dream created to be watched.
*stares up at the sky, with its ever-flickering stars, fading in and out, some constant, some shaky*
*nods, then scribbles some
(dont worry, Vessel says some pretty strange stuff too)
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The Butterfly
The Bird
The Watcher
In the...the human world,
Our stars, they come in pairs; they flicker, they waver, they fade in and out. Some are dim, some are bright, some are sickly and some of lively.
And as I wander alone, I notice that only two ever remain constant whilst I'm within the forest realms. Only two; and the rest of the sky is cloaked in nightbless.
*nods* I believe I
(dont mind his randomness, thats the awkwardness speaking...)
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The Butterfly
The Bird
The Watcher
It is a blessing at first
The truest of all curses is that...that I cannot end my life now. I try so very hard. But it never works. It is hopeless, as am I.
(she's kind-of talking to herself, she does that alot)
*approaches Taint, but
(well, i dont know what Taint is like unfortunately... so this is what i make him say >_<)
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The Butterfly
The Bird
The Watcher
Atiq would have put in more
[=green] You also wouldn't have made me spazz by trying to clean the peanut butter off of the mouse. *gives Cato death glares* Anyways, I am glad that I got to meet up with you today. Though I am sorry that our spell casting fun came to an abrupt end. I had a feeling that it drew some sort of painful memory. I get those too..................usually when I see mates together.....................So today I guess we both were remembering. And I wish you luck with the doe your heart is after, I hope it goes well...........................[\color]
WHOEVER SHE IS. I feel out of the love loop. Or I'm just completely non-observant. :<
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your metaphor is cutting into my cankles! >:C
I haven't gone insane......I've gone awesome.
(i don't know what she's
I am neither live, nor dead. I am a ghost. Cursed to wander the world as a misfit...
Having hope is hell. My every hope is smashed. Again. And again. And again.
*cringes*...
@Cato: Ah, my friend, I must
LOLSANDWICH. how did you get peanut butter on the mouse? i probably wouldve done the same XD ahh, itll be pretty obvious soon, depeding on what happens 8>
@Anzel: Indeed, having hope is hell. But only when they are smashed. For some who still have it, they do not feel it. For those who keep hoping, must be blind. Hope is not something to throw around, for it is much too fragile. However, picking up the pieces, and moving on without hope, but without sadness as well... That will make the pain seem much less than it was. Do not hope, but do not lose hope. Keep it stored, somewhere safe, for when you truly need it. *shakes head* I make no sense...
(im trying to draw her right now. im failing DX)
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The Butterfly
The Bird
The Watcher
*looks gently at taint and
*softly mumbles*...she has locked her heart up in a box and has thrown away the box...
*looks hopelessly at her rippled reflection*...sorry for troubling you, sir Vessel...*nestles head under nurra's chin*
(i know the feeling, lol)
I'm still not sure how it
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your metaphor is cutting into my cankles! >:C
I haven't gone insane......I've gone awesome.
*shakes head and writes*
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The Butterfly
The Bird
The Watcher
Who is it? D: *curious like
Vessel's cool <3
To pray is to believe, to believe is to purify one's soul
To pray is to believe, to believe is to purify one's soul
... -breaks out in
-breaks out in giggles-
HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Hahahahaha.
... Ha.
<3
lolVessel is so cuuute. I LOVE HIM.
He writes well toolol. <3
- - -
The Gentleman
The Rebel
The Immortal