"My... friends, I love you all... but it pains me to not see you. I wish you all well, I wish you all will be happy. But I guess, I finally should take my rest... the flowers, they are beautiful. Yes, I love them so... and the butterflies... I just don't have the strength anymore... please, please don't be mad at me... if I close my eyes. And I don't wake up..."

Well, Toxic's Birthday (As well as mine) is today and so I got on in hopes of seeing his friends. I'm sorry if he ignored anyone that came up to him, I was looking for a couple deer in particular (Which sadly I didn't get to see) and it really hurt Toxic more than anything. Running around, in his personal condition he finally just collapsed in the flowerbed to rest.

This is likely where he'll be and stay when I log in later tonight to spend the last few hours of my birthday. I'm not going to hawk him off or kill him, goodness no... he's too precious to me to do something like that and he's got too many lovely friends on here that would kill me if I were to do something like that.

See, when I get depressed... a lot of my character's go through the same things. Some, worse than others... and Toxic, being how he is now (Illness, Infection... depression and being lonely) seems to be the one that reflects me the most. I hate being depressed on my Birthday but that's all I ever feel anymore when this time of year comes around. It'll only get worse when Thanksgiving and Christmas get around. In which, I'll likely just disappear off the face of the earth.

At this point though, Toxic feels like he's got nothing to live for and he's almost willing to let himself fall asleep and never wake. And really, that's how I feel myself. Just wanting to close my eyes and never wake up... Yeah, sorry to be so depressing but my birthday's always hit me this way. I'll be on MSN/YIM/AIM (All on my Profile) most of the day if you wish to chat. And of course "My Faith" Is open to those who wish to join in. He'll likely go downhill in that RP *nods* So be expected for a bit of depression in there as well. But yes, that's an open option as well to those who want to get to see Toxic.

But for now I'll just go and hide under a rock.