Stupidrandompersonalquestion...

quadraptor's picture
Alright guys, I have a really dumb dilemma. You're going to think I'm really stupid for this, but...

Do any of you know of a way to get over bad memories that you constantly think about?

Mine are stupid stuff that I said or did in my childhood that people won't remember. It's really little stuff but to me I feel so ashamed of myself for saying or doing it.

Eh...it's like I'll be working and remember something really stupid I did at my middle school and be like "Gaah why did I do that?!"

Sigh...I don't know if this is really going anywhere...
Baal's picture

Don't personally know of a

Don't personally know of a way, but if you find it, I would sure love to know it. >.< Ah the stupid things I dearly regret doing/saying myself.
arrowdoe's picture

I've never been able to

I've never been able to figure that out either ):
That's mostly why I keep myself busy nearly 24/7.
It's like a mini depression episode for me- sometimes I even cry about it when it's just stupid stuff.
But like I said, I dunno. :b
ocean's picture

Also, try asking yourself WHY

Also, try asking yourself WHY those memories are sticking. Why do you feel guilty when nobody else will remember?
When you find out about that, try to remedy it by yourself by assuring yourself that it doesn't matter, everybody else has forgiven you.
Assure yourself that it's in the past and you will never do it again; so it can't matter.
You could try writing out the bad memories and burning them/flushing them as well?

That's all I've got for the moment. I hope it helps in some way.

Ohmy Quad that same thing

Ohmy Quad that same thing happens to me.

I'll be minding my own business, and a memory from when I was practically five will appear, and I'll feel guilt creep up on me for it, even though it's long said and done- or maybe I didn't do something, and I feel regret for having not done it.
Guh, memories >|

I'd help you, if I knew how to stop it myself.
quadraptor's picture

Mine usually involve me

Mine usually involve me saying something really stupid to someone my parents/family know and embarrassing them because of it.

There is one that might be remembered, and I really meant for it to be a good memory, but it...just didn't come out right...

At a friend's funeral, those of us who had memories about him would stand up and say them to everyone. Well, I stupidly stood up and told them about a memory I had during school, and, well...long story short, I used the word "zombie" in the memory. In front of all of his family, in front of all of my friends...

-_-'' %^#@ing idiot!

Sigh...I kind of want to write something tonight, but for some reason I don't really want to write another Forest Fable or any more of Return to Nature tonight. Don't really know why, I guess I don't want them to become vent writing.
ocean's picture

Try vent writing, then? It

Try vent writing, then? It might make you feel better. ^^
And also, if you didn't mean to say that, there's no point in blaming yourself. Even if you did, it's in the past now. I'm sure anybody who's involved has totally forgiven you. Smiling
quadraptor's picture

I'm working on a supplement

I'm working on a supplement to Return to Nature now. It won't have anything to do with the storyline, but rather is more of a reflection. I think it will really help.

I just don't know how to forgive myself for things I said, how to make peace with my mind that it's not a big deal. To me, it's a huge deal, unforgivable.

I know I overreact sometimes, too. Ocean, you saw that before with my writing, almost not wanting to write anymore because I was upset about something really small.
ocean's picture

I know; it really is hard to

I know; it really is hard to forgive yourself. You're your own worst critic, right?
If you have low self-esteem, maybe that's helping to let you not forgive yourself?
quadraptor's picture

Mhmm...I always tell myself

Mhmm...I always tell myself that I'm not good at anything, which I know isn't true but a lot of times I feel like it is. I'm always ashamed that I'm not someone who is strong or artistic. I've been told I don't have any ambition and that I'm lazy.

I put myself down about stuff, about everything really. I mean today I bought my mom some flowers. I only had $3 on me but I found some little roses in the floral department that were $1. Well I brought them home and then felt so ashamed because the petals were already falling off of them. Mom assured me that it meant the world to her, but I still feel like I failed her even with that.

I'm sorry, I don't mean to be so damn depressing on here, but I never feel like I can talk to anyone about how I feel. I make little things seem like huge mistakes.

This happens to me. I

This happens to me. I thought I was the only one. ._.
It's weird because they just pop up randomly. I know chances are no one remembers these things, but then I wonder why I remember them. Sometimes it's something from when I was little. Usually, though, I might feel embarrassed for a second, but then I tell myself that most likely no one else remembers it, and that it was a long time ago and doesn't matter anymore anyway. And then it will go away. Usually. But then sometimes they persist, like they keep coming back at random times. I just have to keep telling myself, that no one remembers, or if they do, they probably don't care. I know that if I were to bring it up with...whoever was with me at the time...they probably wouldn't know what I was talking about.
Well all I can think of is try to ignore them and move on. Just concentrate on whatever you're doing.
ocean's picture

I really don't mind people

I really don't mind people talking to me. ^^

And I guess that's where you should start. I know this sounds stupid, but replace the word "can't" in your head with "can".
After that, make a list of things you like about yourself, maybe?
And ignore people who put you down.
I'm sure you can find more tips online, if you wanted to look.

[Also, sorry Ama isn't so playful, she's not in too great of shape. >>]
Pegasicorn's picture

Glad I'm not the only one

Glad I'm not the only one this happens to. ^^;
My mind also does another thing: it will come up with the worst thing that could happen without my control. Anything I'm about to do, it goes pessimistic on me.

(I was going to edit my

(I was going to edit my previous comment, but it won't let me now)

Oh, I should have read the comments before posting. If these memories really bother you that much...Well I don't know. It might be related to a deeper issue, like low self-esteem, like Ocean mentioned. Or just an...inherently guilty conscious, even if you're not actually guilty, which could stem from a number of things. Maybe you should consider talking to a therapist to get to the bottom of things and find out why those memories bother you so much.
quadraptor's picture

Thanks for the suggestions,

Thanks for the suggestions, everyone. I vent-wrote a story which I think helped. Also put Quad in the Forest and let him listen to the sounds.

Thanks for the company, Ocean. I'm going to log Quad off now, but he just needed to sit with someone. Sorry if I interrupted anything you were doing.
ocean's picture

Alrighty. ^^ It's fine.

Alrighty. ^^ It's fine. :3
See you!

I know that feeling.. i

I know that feeling.. i remember all this stiuped stuff thatt i did.. and they just can come really randomly..
I mean im sitting at class and then i start thinking and somehow im getting this memory and i'm all like:
"WTH.. why did i do it!? i mean for what good reason?!" D :
But after im asking myself why i did it.. i start to say to myself ,that it was the past.. no one remembers ,so why should i remember and be ashamed. >w<
You should understand that it was a stiuped thing (as you say) and just let it go ,to say to yourself "Yeah ,it was ,it was embarrassing ,but no one really remember it ,and that was the past..so it's okey"
Or something ^^
Verycrazygirl's picture

I wish I could forget the

I wish I could forget the things I did as recently as a couple of months ago let alone a lifetime. Laughing out loud

It'd be nice to forget so many humiliating things~ Haha

quadraptor's picture

At least I'm not the only one

At least I'm not the only one who does it.

Alright, I'm gonna tell myself just not to worry about it whenever I think about those memories. I think that's the unanimous suggestion and so I'll give it a shot. Thanks again everyone.
ocean's picture

You can do it, Quad! ^^

You can do it, Quad! ^^
Flyra's picture

Mhh... I wish I had the

Mhh... I wish I had the ability to forget, too.
I remember way too much.

Whenever a very unwanted thought comes up in me, I try to focus on something else immediately. Usually I try to play a complicated game in the internet or on my iPhone, or I try to sing a song which's songtext I used to know, or I try to phrase some sentences in French and Spanish,... Something difficult that requires my full attention, so my thoughts can't fade away to bad memories. :B
It does not always work, but sometimes it's helpful.
f l y r a b l o g avatar by tinkee, sig by Quamar
Tenley's picture

i just hug my dog 0.0'

i just hug my dog 0.0'
Walking into a room and saying, " I should clean this! " Then walking out. -lily

Huh, I think pretty much

Huh, I think pretty much everyone has those little memory punches. It's like they're forever connected to invisible strings in the back of your head. x.X.

(doesn't matter much I guess but...) I suggest writing about them, tearing it up, going for a walk and dropping the bits in the waste bins you pass along the way. I like to think that every bit is a bit of the problem... then go home and just be aware of things (the tiny things like the noise of my own feet on the floor or the barking of the neighbors dog or the sound of cars or birds or wind or the hum of the fridge...etc...

I second Tenley too.

Tuhka's picture

Gurggggh I know the feeling,

Gurggggh I know the feeling, I wish there was a way to forget. I'm really ashamed of some things I've done or said and made myself look like a fool, and those keep popping to my mind time to times and I feel like I could just blush again. Probably no one's remembering any of them but I am. Too well. sdkfhas.
Ourania's picture

Uuuugh I go through that all

Uuuugh I go through that all the time. I wish I knew of a cure too ._.;
J!n's picture

I just think that I'm a

I just think that I'm a different person now, and I try not to do it again. If I hadn't done those things I wouldn't have become the person I am today. Things like that happens, you just have to learn from them.
I guess I have accepted it. Everybody makes mistakes like that. I don't see myself as very important either, I don't think anybody cares what I have done. I just don't care anymore. Just get over it, accept it. I know it's not an easy thing to do though.
ShadowsofLight's picture

Here's my theory: It's been

Here's my theory:

It's been done. Worrying and wondering why you did it, is not going to change that, so what's the point of spending your life worrying. Just let it all go. You can't change it now.

Mick Kreiger: You Know You Love Me XOXO
Seele's picture

I understand how you feel..

I understand how you feel.. The only thing I can suggest is, you're older now, learn to laugh about it instead! It can't be turned around anyway, didn't we all do silly stuff? People forgive you for that really <3 And in a way, some things can just be made to sound funny instead.
So eh, it sounds weird, but perhaps try that? I know it has worked for me <3

And for more recent bad-memories that don't really get the "I was young" excuse, just don't worry too much, they will get that eventually too!
IoRez's picture

I don't know whether this

I don't know whether this will help or not, but no one has mentioned it yet so I thouhgt I'd let you know that there is a very valid reason for why we can't un-remember traumatic or life-threatening events from our lives. It also is the reason people suffer from PTSD, and why crazy events in your life might seem to play back in slow-motion in your memory.

When your body starts sending signals to your brain that something VERY BAD is happening (trauma, injury, etc...) the brain triggers a series of neurochemicals to activate a part of the brain called the amygdala, which is responsible for coding long-term memories into your brain. The amygdala initiates the recording of extra memories so, if you survive, you’ll be more likely to avoid the situation in the future.

Your brain is arming you to avoid danger by keeping a record of all the stimuli associated with a harrowing moment. When you compare your memories for the event with those immediately beofre and after, you have more information than you do for the events before and after the scary time. Also, your subconscious is endlessly attempting to dredge the memory up and reanalyze it for every possible useful detail, which you manifests as obsession with either the memory of the event or behavior associated with it. This is particularly true in childhood, when the amygdala is far more robust and active. Everything is new, so you record more memories than you do in adulthood when everything becomes routine and common. This is why an awesome summer's afternoon from your early childhood can seem like it lasted a month.

Science.

That was informative.

That was informative.