The only real cheer I get out of them now is when I get to spend the time with my online friends. Heh, but real life? Keep them the hell away from me haha

well that's kinda sad .___. You need to live closer to me, mate.

Pffft, you’re still a youngin’! ~_^ Happy birthday to you though and I hope it’s a good one.

The holidays have been a strain for me for a lot of years due to family upheavals. It can be difficult to find ways to handle them when so many things have changed. My biggest concern these day is on making them as memorable and awesome for my niece as possible, these things are for the kids and through that, I can find I can enjoy them too.

And all in suspense about what you have planned! Will be keeping an eye out.

Two years ago, between October and the end of Janurary all of this happened in this order: my relationship went to complete shit, my grandmother died, my family suddenly had huge finical issues upon which I discovered were caused from years of my parents gambling our family funds away, discovered my parents stole a couple thousand dollars from my bank account that I had been saving to pay for my move out and college - literally leaving me almost nothing, as a result my relationship with my family pretty much went to shit too, my dad went super depressed from losing my grandmother and from how I broke away from the family, attempted suicide, then my dog died, and then I had to break things off with my ex because it just was not working out and just ruining us both. Then he attempted suicide because of it.

Then I went into therapy for a few months.

I finally moved out and attempted to just start life on my own. I pretty much walked away from my family because I just couldn't bare the betrayal I felt due to years of my parents lying to me and then stealing from me. (I had suspensions that our family was in trouble for years and my bank statements showed a series of mysterious withdraws for over a year.) I couldn't go to college because I couldn't afford it and lost all financial aid due to my parents' bankruptcy.

Then this pass January my father unexpectedly passed away. It was literally one of those things where I talked to him the night before and he was fine; the next morning I got a phone call saying he was found collapsed on the floor. We never really made up from the whole ordeal and now we never will. That's a guilt I've been coming to terms with and just accepting.

And I wasn't even home for the chance of a "last Christmas". I was 900 miles away brooding out of spite.

And I work in retail. (Nothing will make you a bitter hateful person quicker than the Christmas rush of parents. )

The point of all of this is that no matter how much life might shit on you, you shouldn't just give up. Life's going to be full of regrets and disappointments, but even in the darkness we can still find reasons to carry on. You just need to figure out what is important to you and embrace it. Despite all I've been through, I still have my friends and I now have my freedom.

Oh yeah, and I'll be 22 this month.

Anyway, stay strong. Nothing is impossible to pull through if you tell yourself you can handle it.

Well I say keep an eye out, as I get typing I'll be posting a story of sorts on the 5th as the 'final' event of the entire thing. My MSN has been wonky as HELL lately I swear to god I want to murder it, if you see me online (Or even offline) try and message me because sometimes I appear to be Offline when I actual am online.